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Tears of the Phoenix	By : serialcabbit78 Category: S through Z > Valdemar Series Views: 1397 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do NOT own ANY of the rights to the Valdemar Series, those all belong to Mercedes Lackey, who has given me the inspiration. I make no profit from this or any writing.

Chapter List
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Luna eased herself into the heated waters of a hot spring. She snuggled closer to Trey, smiling shyly to him. She laid her head on his shoulder and sighed. They’d arrived in the Vale earlier, and all three had sort of a wash. All they really wanted to do was soak out the aches they’d accumulated with the work they’d done. She looked around the pool to see Stefen sitting across from them, a sly smile on his lips. Trey leaned down and kissed her lips so softly she couldn’t help but to respond.

Stefen watched them through nearly closed eyes. The two youngsters had started working together more, and were becoming closer. He truly hoped they would get closer, as Luna needed someone who could fully love her. They had seemed to be heading in a romantic direction shortly before Luna had been raped, but Trey pulled back, afraid of frightening her. Someone softly cleared their throat, causing the pair of teenagers to start guiltily. Before Luna could turn her head to see who wanted their attention, Trey’s overprotective nature took over and he moved the hand he held her shoulder with to cover her eyes. Luna bolted away from Trey, stiffening sharply before crashing backwards into the water with a scream.

Moondance dove into the water, pulling her above the surface as she flailed. He quickly placed his hand on her forehead, calming her momentarily. Trey was trembling like a leaf in a storm as Stefen reached his side and tried to comfort him. Both Moondance and Starwind eased her to the side of the spring and laid her on the ground. Starwind covered her with a towel and both took a moment to wrap one around their own bodies. Moondance gently lifted her again and carried her into the darkness.

Trey struggled against Stefen and shouted curses at him. A few of the scouts began to gather by the pool, seeming to find the commotion too hard to ignore. Stefen finally managed to get Trey calmed enough to stop struggling and shouting.

“Treyvor, they are going to help her. You didn’t mean to scare her, but you did.” Stefen licked his lips. “Please calm down.”

“What happened, damnit? She was fine then she went all stiff on me! I have to get to her!” Trey screamed uselessly.

One of the scouts pulled off her boots and waded into the pool. She put her hand on Trey’s shoulder and forced him to look her in the eyes. She had a gentle look to her eyes and after a moment, Trey stopped and sagged against Stefen.

“One never knows what triggers memories like that. You meant well, but something about your action frightened her.”   The woman said softly. “I have seen it in other victims, Treyvor and you have as well.”

Up in a gently lit bed chamber, Moondance tucked Luna into a soft gown. Tears streaked down his cheeks at the fear still radiating from her mind. She was unconscious as he’d had to gently knock her out before she struggled too much and drowned them both. Once he had her dressed, he wrapped a robe around himself. For now, she lay on their bed, cradled in Starwind’s arms.    He took his anger and shoved it into the furthest recesses of his mind. He wasn’t angry with the boy, he hadn’t done anything wrong. No, his anger was reserved for the one who had traumatized this girl. Anger would not serve him right now as he had to be gentle.

He eased himself into a sitting position on the bed and took Luna’s hand. He smiled warmly as Starwind put his hand over the top of hers. He closed his eyes and set his other hand on her forehead. He could see she still carried physical scars from the attack. He felt his way through the turbulent memories, seeing things as she hadn’t been able to. He could see the boy had indeed used his gift to tie her memories to physical reminders. He very gently untied the bonds that held those memories to physical sensations such as having her eyes covered. One of the bonds nearly made him physically sick. He realized with horror that the physical scars she had were the root of her nightmares. He was able to undo those bonds as well, the scarring he could deal with when the girl was awake.

He pulled away from her mind and felt tears streaming down his cheeks. He opened his eyes and looked down seeing both his love and the girl were looking up at him. Luna reached up and brushed his tears away as she sat up. Moondance pulled her into an embrace feeling the fear that held her captive ease away from her mind and body.

“There is one more thing I need to heal, and I am sorry, but this will not be pleasant.” Moondance’s voice cracked softly. “I feel it will be uncomfortable not only for myself, but more so for you.”

“Ashke, it cannot be left undone.” Starwind started to say but Moondance held up his hand.

“I simply mean, for me to heal her properly, I need to put my hands in a place that may be uncomfortable for her.” He said softly.

“I think our healers felt that particular idea would have been too traumatizing for me, at the time.”   Luna said offhandedly. “Then again, I was in so much pain if it hadn’t been for them and Stefen I would have wanted to die that night. I still don’t know how I got away alive.”

“You found a break and ran for it. It still could have been worse, had those girls not distracted him once they realized exactly what he was up to. Apparently something broke his hold on them at the same time it broke on you.” Moondance said with a chuckle. “I could guess as to whom it could have been but you had the wrong instrument with you.”

“I had a bad feeling about the situation and didn’t take it. I didn’t want something to happen to it or it get destroyed.” Luna said. “It’s only mine until my path takes me on.”

She lay back on the bed, feeling rather tired. She felt that the fear and tension she’d lived with for the past two years had faded into memories. She sighed, knowing that what Moondance was going to have to do could hurt, but it should not trigger her fears.

“He is proud of you, but I am sure you know that already.” Moondance said softly.

He rose from the bed with a fluid grace that would make a dancer jealous. He went over to a cabinet recessed in the wall and looked over various jars of ointments, selecting one. He came back to the bed and sat on the side closer to Luna. She looked up at him, noticing that within his eyes, was sadness.   She understood that he didn’t want to hurt her or frighten her, but the way to helping her heal meant he had to touch her physically, in the place where she’d been hurt. Starwind’s voice broke into her thoughts.

“This next part may hurt some. I wish there was another way to heal this, but we will have to heal the scar tissue that has formed. My shay’kreth’ashke felt that he would rather wait until you were awake and aware to seek your consent before doing so.” He explained. “Considering what you have been through, I feel I must agree.”

“I thank you for that. I wouldn’t mind either way, though.” She said softly. “I’ll be alright if you hold my hand.”

Starwind smiled and lifted her hand to his lips, kissing the back softly. She nodded to Moondance and tried to not think about what he was doing. She let him position her leg, fighting the temptation to hide her body from him. He opened the jar and took out a little bit of the ointment. He spread it over two fingers, then with little warning, slid them inside her.   She yelped with shock and squeezed Starwind’s hand. He soothed her with his other hand, as Moondance worked on the healing.   It was slightly painful but Luna had an idea why this had the man uneasy. It would be all too easy to inadvertently get her aroused. So far, she kept her mind on thoughts that were about as far from that as possible.

:Like cleaning up horse turds?: Surya said with a mental chuckle. Luna couldn’t help but to laugh as well. :Oh I know, cleaning out that cat box, that’s always a pleasant task.:

:Surya what did I ever do to deserve you? You always know when to make me laugh.: She said back. :I was more thinking of watching some of the boys eat, that’s always a frightening sight.:

:I think it would be much safer to strap feed bags to their heads.: Surya snorted. :I hope you don’t mind, I’m letting them listen in.:

“Young males always seem to be able to inhale food at speeds that make the rest of us wish to vomit.” Starwind chuckled. “Though I would not know what a cat box is.”

“It’s sort of a box with dirt or sand in it, for a cat to use as a privy.” Luna explained. “I take it you heard our little conversation.”
“You are lucky to have someone like her to make sure you do laugh.” Moondance said. “If you feel any pain, please let me know.”

“It doesn’t exactly hurt, it just feels strange.” Luna admitted.   “The Healer, Kathlee tried to make sure there wasn’t scaring, but she said that sometimes it can’t be avoided.”

“Given how young you were, you are lucky you did not lose too much blood. There was more than a little tearing, and it was healed fairly well, but there was scarring.” Moondance said. “How long had you had your cycles to this point?”

“I…um… three moons, I think. I’d just finished one and they had me on potions to prevent pregnancy.” Luna tried to think back. “It might have been two, I’m not really sure.”

Moondance nodded. Luna tried to figure out why he would ask such a question, as she hadn’t really told anyone about that at the time. The only people who actually knew were Stefen, Thad and Kasie. She didn’t really want it spread around, and those three would have kept her secrets under torture.

“I only ask because sometimes girls get all giddy and tell everyone they know, others are very shy about it and keep it as quiet as they can.” Moondance said. “I highly doubt anyone would have told if you kept it quiet.”

“Well, Stef kind of found out because he looked at my clothes. But I don’t know if anyone saw me walking back to our rooms, and I remember not seeing anything on Surya’s saddle.” Luna said. “Kasie and Thad knew and Thad took me to the healers.”

“I know it seems odd of me to ask, but given the way you have the scarring, it tells me that you were not long into being a woman.”   Moondance pulled his hand away and wiped it on a towel. “I will need to do this at least once more. If you are active, I would suggest that you not be for a few days.”

“Um… I haven’t exactly…done anything. I tried once but it was too painful and I never tried again.” She admitted. “I really haven’t told anyone about that, except for Stef. I felt ashamed about the whole thing.”

“Why would you be ashamed?” Moondance asked softly. “Youngsters often make mistakes, but they should be learned from.”

“It was a mistake, that’s for sure. We spent two moons working with two villages that were feuding with each other and this one boy, he’d been my guide and I thought he liked me. Instead after we… he stared calling me a little baby and that I was too stupid to know how to have a man.” Luna laughed bitterly. “He was very cold to me after that. I know he’d apparently enjoyed himself, but it wasn’t at all pleasant for me.”

“I see.” Moondance said, lying down by Luna. “I do not think it was a mistake on your part, maybe youthful inexperience, but not wholly a mistake. You trusted someone and they did not respect that.”

“Sometimes, with youthful inexperience, one can mistake infatuation with love. I do not think this was the case here, as I feel that maybe he had you think he truly cared.” Starwind said, favoring Luna with a warm smile. “Do any of your friends back home make you feel inferior or stupid with the decisions you make?”

Luna thought back on the past few years. Those in the Heraldic circle never second guessed her or made her feel anything less than equal. Even with the Bards and the Bardic trainees, they treated her same as any other trainee. After that incident, no one let her go anywhere without at least two people with her. Even the night she’d had that terrible nightmare, everyone handled what happened as if it was no big issue. Her own confidence had taken a blow, but no one ever mentioned it to her.

“No, not even the night I had one of my worst nightmares. Stef woke me by playing music, but I guess whatever triggered the nightmare had me so afraid… I had an accident.” Luna felt her face grow hot. “I felt so upset over it, but Kasie and Stef, they treated it as if it wasn’t at all a big deal. They just helped me clean up and Stef told me that he didn’t mind if I was afraid, he would be there for me. I want to feel whole again and not like a child that cowers in fear every time something spooks me.”

“But you are a child that had something incredibly traumatic happen to her. I have known those who were older than you that have had this happen to them and it forever altered their lives. It made them unable to trust anyone at all. You trusted Stefen when you were most vulnerable. You did not understand what had happened to you, but you had and still have those around you who offer to carry you when you feel too weak.” Moondance pointed out. “The fact that you view Stefen as a friend, a mentor, a brother and a confidante speaks volumes. You do not depend on him, nor do you rely on him more than you do yourself.”

“I feel that you two need each other, not in the sense of dependency, but as a way to heal one another. Both of you grew up nearly alone and with little resources to sustain you. Those you trusted with your well being only saw their own needs above yours.” Starwind said. “That and now you have a family who truly puts your best interests first. This family consists of your fellow Heralds, your friends, Stefen of course, and they all care.”

“I have Vanyel’s parents as well. They both have made it clear to those around them that they see Stefen as much theirs as any of the spouses their children have taken. As an extension of that, they view me as Stefen and Vanyel’s child.” Luna said quietly. “I think he is proud of that, as they do not know of their grandchildren through him.”

“And you see no reason to fill them in on that fact; you are wise beyond your years, little one.” Starwind said. “It is a good thing that they have taken Stefen as their own.”

Moondance and Starwind exchanged a look that made Luna wonder if they had a hand in healing the pain between Vanyel and his father. Sometimes both Lady Treesa and Lord Withen spoke not only of them, but how much they loved Vanyel. She never pried into their personal matters, but listened when they talked to her.   Withen had regrets, that he put too much hurt on Vanyel, and their short reconciliation before his death haunted the man. She did point out that they did make amends and that was more than Vanyel could have ever hoped for.

“It’s not something he shared with them when he was alive, Stefen and I felt it would be better to keep his secret. I am grateful that they took me in though. In some ways, I guess Stef could be like a father, though I view him differently.” Luna sighed. “It’s strange. I never had a family really, not until Surya came along. Now I have more than I ever dreamed of, and not one of them thinks I’m strange.”

“That is because they accept you as you are. I am glad that Withen not only accepts Stefen, but views him as family. It is not common for those like us to be accepted so willingly, and for him to view Stefen as Vanyel’s spouse, that brings me great joy.” Moondance smiled. “I feel that there is more that you are not telling.”

“Well, when Vanyel first brought his parents to Haven, and his father sat on the Council, his mother had a rough time fitting in. Stefen got her to the right circle of friends and got them both settled in rather smoothly.   Vanyel was so busy with everything else, it was a real help when they put Jisa and Treven in her parent’s proxy.” Luna looked between the two men and sighed. “Brightstar has a sister, King’s Own and Co-Consort Queen Jisa. This is something that is being kept strictly out of the knowledge, and even from the restricted chronicles.”

“We will be sure to keep note of it in ours, should there ever come a time that does need to be known, we will make sure it is passed on to those who need to know and only those. How they choose to handle it will be their decision.” Starwind said. “We rarely leave our Vales, so this history will be kept in the strictest of confidentiality.”

“I will pass that on to her.” Luna said just before yawning widely.   “I still feel like something ran over me.”

“I think it would be best if you got some rest, little daughter. I had hoped you would be able to meet up with your little brother, but it is late and you are very tired.” Moondance said softly. “So, Brightmoon will greet you with the new day. Sleep now and feel safe with us.”
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Tears of the Phoenix