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She Did Not Go.	By : dark1starr Category: A through F > Chronicles of Narnia Views: 20903 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Chronicles of Narnia, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
Disclaimer: C.S Lewis owns it and I do not. No money is being made off of this. It is for the pure enjoyment of writing alone that I do this.
A/N: Here is chapter two. I hope it reads well and I hope you all enjoy it. Please read and Review.
P.S: This is Beta-d. credit? Goes to the one and only Donovan Stryfe. He is also trying to help me through my little slump/funk right now. he is a great beta. Respect the beta. We love the beta-s.

Onto the story.

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Tumnus must have tossed and turned throughout the night. He only thought about the following day and what would happen to Lucy if they did not find her brothers and sister. His mind wanders from option to option. The crackle of the fire wasn't even enough to lull him into a sense of rest. The faun curled up and stared at her sleeping form. His hooves kicked out from under the blanket and he shifted yet again.
"Lucy." He sighed, closing his eyes. "How can I help you?"
He was almost in tears. His insides were torn up and nearly shattered already. It was almost too much for him to see her crying to begin with. How in the name of Aslan was he going to get her through tomorrow? Yes, always of Lucy. He didn't know how to think of himself before her. He merely pushed his own heart down and fought away the feelings that had been growing on him for so long.
"How?" He pressed his head into a pillow. "How?"
Tumnus turned over again and stared restlessly at the ceiling. He just wanted to sleep! He heard her breathing in the background. Tumnus sighed and closed his eyes. He tried to focus on the good thoughts. She didn't leave. She stayed here in Narnia. Lucy was in his home and asleep. She called him a good friend still. She smiled at him and used him for comfort when she needed it most. Yes! He was who she turned to in her time of need. She could have just ridden off without him. Tumnus smiled at his thoughts now. He let the queen's breathing bring a peaceful melody to fall asleep to.
Morning didn't come peacefully for him, just as sleep didn't. Tumnus barely got a couple of hours sleep before he was awoken to the sound of plates and things rattling. He jumped up panting. She was not in the chair where he left her. She couldn't have gone searching by herself!
"L…Lucy!"
"Tumnus?" Lucy set bread on the table and smiled. "Are you alright?"
He fell off his bed and nodded. Tumnus started to chuckle and laugh at himself as he pushed himself up. Maybe he over reacted just a little bit to seeing her gone.
Lucy chuckled at his antics. He was being rather silly wasn't he? Come on. I have fixed breakfast for us. Toast, jam, and some Berry juice. I even put Sardines out for you."
"You didn't have to do that." Tumnus stood slowly. His fur was a mess and his hair was a tad rough looking. "I appreciate it though. Just let me go freshen up. I can see my fur standing on end."
"You do look a little roughed up. Did you sleep well? Your eyes are very puffy and red."
"I couldn't really concentrate on sleep." He was at his wash basin, brushing his hair and fur out. "I was trying to think about where to look today."
"All over. Even if no others come. If we do not find them today." She looked down at the table. Her hand pressed down to hold her self up. "If they are not found today..." She sighed. Lucy couldn't bring her self to finish that sentence. "Never mind. Just come and eat."
She tried to force a smile for him. Tumnus walked over slowly to her and hugged her. Her cheek was pressed against his bare chest. His chin was on her forehead. The faun had grown to his full height finally. He was lean and built. He made the faun race proud. He made father, who was in the heavens, proud.
"My lady." He wanted to cry for her. "Please, do not cry. We have not looked yet."
"Who are we fooling Tumnus?" She pulled away. Lucy motioned to the chairs. "Sit and eat. We will try. I think it is for the best however, that I am prepared for the worst."
"No matter what happens, I will still be here for you." He pulled her chair out for her. "Come on." He knew she was upset again because she didn't scold him for calling her my lady. "You need to eat as well."
"Always the gentleman." Lucy sat down in the offered chair and Tumnus pushed it forward to the table. "Thank you for everything."
"That is what friends are for." He sat across from her. "There is not much that I would not do to help you, my lady."
"Tumnus!" She chuckled. "Remember? Lucy." She was at least trying to be happier. "Okay?"
"You caught me again." He nodded. "I will try but I can not promise I won't slip up." He picked a piece of toast up. "Will that be okay?"
"Yes." She nodded to him. "I think I also forgot to ask the trees to deliver that message for me. I was probably very upset."
"I asked them for you."
"You did?" She gasped lightly. "Oh…Thank you Tumnus." Lucy picked at her toast, speaking. "My mind was all over the place. I think it was last night too."
"Did you have a dream again?" Tumnus sipped at some juice. "You seemed to be sleeping fine when I checked on you."
"I think I did." Lucy whispered it. "This time it was about Edmund, Peter and Susan. They…" She closed her eyes. "They returned to the land of spare oom as children. I was not there with them and they were sad."
"I can see why they would be." Tumnus's heart tugged. What if she said she wanted to go in that trail today? He would lose her forever. "You …are a light in people's lives."
"The thing is..." She was looking at the table. "Even though I think I know what happened to them because of my dream, I...am glad I didn't go with them. I would be hurt a lot more inside if I left my beloved Narnia."
Tumnus leaned forward. His hands grasped hers that were on the table. Her hands were squeezing so tightly that they were turning colors. Lucy took a quick breath, looking up at him. Her eyes met his. The two silently regarded one another.
"We will look for them. Narnia is a land of hope. I know you miss them. I do not think you can easily imagine your world without them in it." He smiled and pulled her hands from the table. "It is okay to cry, Lucy Pevensie."
"Tumnus." She was finally crying. Her eyes had been threatening to do so all a long. "I want them here with me this very instant."
"I know." He sighed. He didn't know what else to say to her to make her feel better. "Do you wish to go searching?"
"Yes, please." Her tears made her cheeks moist and warm. "I would like that right now."
"Alright." He smiled and pulled one hand away to hand her a cloth. "I think you need this more than I do."
"Silly." She tried to laugh. He said that very thing to her years ago when they watched Aslan leaving Cair Paravel. "You always remember the little things, don't you?" She wiped her tears away. "You are crying, too."
"You also remember those little things, and I cry because you cry." He pulled away and stood. "You should never be sad. Not while Tumnus is here." He helped her to her feet. "We will be brave together."
"I wish it were so easy to be brave." She sighed. "I guess I ruined breakfast, huh?"
"Nah. We would have gotten fat off of it anyways." He chuckled and wiped one of her tears with his finger. "We wouldn't want that would we?"
"No." She tried to laugh, shaking her head no. "We don't want that." Lucy's smile was small but at least it was some kind of smile. "Silly faun."
"I know." He smiled, tugging her along gently. His hand was still holding on to hers. "Shall we walk or ride today?"
"I should like to walk. The air will be good for me. All of this dust is making me cry so terribly."
She wiped her tears away still. Lucy tried to be strong inside. Everyone knew her for her determination and strength. What would they say if they saw her falling to pieces like this?
Tumnus opened the door of his hollow to see a dozen or so Centaurs. All had come at Lucy's request. All were ready to serve and help her. His ears flickered forward in curiosity at seeing them.
"Tumnus, what is it?" Lucy pushed past him, gasping. They were all kneeling down on one knee before her. "Oh…" This was a surprise. She did not expect so many to come. "H…hello all."
"The trees said you needed our help." A black furred centaur stepped forward. "I am Kale. We were on a herd patrol nearby when we heard the trees call."
Lucy looked at the silent Tumnus and then back at the centaurs. She felt moved inside. The people of Narnia loved her. She should never expect any less of them. Tumnus smiled and stepped forward. Lucy was close to tears again! She could not talk to them right now.
"Queen Susan, King Peter, and King Edmund have disappeared." He looked solemnly at the Centaurs. All of their faces screwed up into surprised dismay. "She would like…your help to search around here for them. If we can not find them…" He sighed. Tumnus shook his head and took a breath. "It is okay if we do not find them, and you will not be yelled at. She would like just to try and look for them with your help." Tumnus looked away only for a moment at Lucy and then back to the centaurs. "If that is okay with you."
"We will do our best." Kale bowed his head to her. "We will search all day and night until you say you wish to no longer search, Your Majesty."
"Thank you." She bit her lip. Lucy's breathing was a little ragged right now. "Thank you, all."
"We go. We will find you and report back." Kale bowed again. A single hoof went in front of him allowing his body to bow as well. "We will do our best."
"That is all I can ask of you." Lucy sighed. "I will be with Mr. Tumnus and looking around my self. Just that way." She pointed. "Just In case you need me."
"Thank you, Majesty." The centaur group galloped off. "We will not fail you!" Kale called out to them as they left.
"I didn't think…" Lucy breathed in deeply. She tried to keep her composure. Dear gods how she tried. "Oh, Tumnus."
"I told you." He smiled. "The people of Narnia love you."
"I know they do. I love all of Narnia and its people." She smiled sadly and sighed. "I would die if I had to leave here. It is the only place I am warm inside."
"Maybe that is how come you did not follow them." He extended his hand to her. "Because Narnia knew it still needed you as much as you need it."
"Maybe." She took his hand. "Thank you for being here for me, Tumnus. I know it sounds like I am going on about things but I mean it. I would be such a mess if you were not here to help me."
"Come on." Tumnus could say a reply to equal the things she just said to him so he just smiled. "Let's go get some air and see what we can find."
"Yes." She walked beside him. Lucy slid her hand up so she had a hold of his arm. It looked like he was escorting her. "Maybe we should walk back by the…" Lucy didn't want to remember it but she had to. "The lamp…post that leads to spare Oom."
"That is what I was thinking."
He compared his hooves to her feet as they walked. His thoughts trailed but Tumnus quickly pushed those thoughts from his head. They were so different. His heart beat with so much angst and confusion at the moment. Her sadness made him sad. Again, he thought of things he could do to cheer her up. There was not much was there? What could he do? He was just a faun. She was Queen Lucy the Valiant. She ruled on high at Cair Paravel.
"Hey, Tumnus?" She noticed his eyes staring at the ground. "Tumnus are you okay?" He was barely paying attention. Lucy shook his arm lightly. She needed to stir him from his thoughts. "Tumnus, you silly faun. Come on."
"Huh?" He gasped when he looked up to see the lap post already. "Oh…Oh!" he turned to face her. "I am sorry my lady!"
"Tumnus, easy." She patted his hand. "Breathe. It is okay." She was surprised, if anything, at his reaction. "You seemed quiet. That was all."
"I got lost…in thought." Tumnus's breathing was quicker and his heart wanted to come straight out o f his throat. "I …" How could he say this without embarrassing himself or her? "I didn't mean to." Where were his words! He was screaming inside.
"Tumnus." she placed a finger over his lips. "Honestly." She smiled. "You don't need to worry. I was just making sure you were okay. That is all."
"Sorry."
Tumnus looked down. He inhaled a deep breath and released slowly. His eyes caught a glimpse of something though that made him pull away. Tumnus walked forward and leaned down picking it up. It was a crown. It was King Peter's crown and there was a note attached to it.
"Tumnus?" Lucy covered her mouth when she saw him turn around with the crown in hand. "T…That is…"
"It is King Peter's crown and there is a note on it for you." He extended it to her slowly. "It is from all of them."
"Peter? Edmund and Susan?" She took the crown from him slowly. "T…they…"
"Does it say what happened to them?" Tumnus helped to steady her. "Or would you rather I read it for you?"
"I…will read it." She pulled the note from the crown. "Would you hold this for me?" Lucy held the crown up. "Please?"
"Of course." Tumnus took it in hand. "I hope…the note is not bad news."
"I hope not." Lucy sighed and pulled it up so she could see it. "I hope it says they are waiting at Cair Paravel for me."
888888888
'Lucy the Valiant, Queen of Narnia, Ruler on high at Cair Paravel,
'We hope this note finds you, Lucy. Something happened that day when we were hunting for the white stag. We went back through the wardrobe. We became our young selves again, but with only one drawback. You were not there with us. We tried to get back through the wardrobe but we couldn't. I some how managed to keep my crown when the others did not, so I got this idea. I attached this note and put it in the wardrobe in hopes that it would find you.
'Lucy, if you see this and still do not want to come home, we understand. You loved Narnia more than all of us combined. Know this, we will miss you should you choose to not try and come back through. Susan, Edmund, and I will always be trying to get back to you, however. We love you, Lucy Pevensie. We know you love us, regardless of your decision to stay or go.
'Love always,
'Peter, Edmund, and Susan Pevensie.'
8888888888
"Oh, Peter." Lucy started to cry again. Her tears made the ink run. "Susan, Edmund." Her knees felt weak. Lucy stumbled and expected to fall but she found Tumnus's arms around her. "Tumnus. They…are really gone."
"I am sorry, Lucy." Tumnus gulped at what he was about to say next. "Y…you." He panted a little. "You could try and walk through the same path as them if…you…"
"Tumnus, no." She shook her head. "Don't ever suggest that." Lucy may have been crying and upset that they were gone but her heart told her she wanted to stay in Narnia. "I know I could try but I ..." She turned, looking up at him. "I want to stay in Narnia."
"Narnia is forever grateful." Tumnus whispered. He pulled the cloth he gave her from her side pouch and handed it to her. "You need this again."
"Tumnus." She took it in her free hand, sighing. "You…can read it." Lucy shakily extended the note. "I do not mind."
When he took the note to read it she pulled the cloth up to wipe her eyes. She couldn't remember ever crying so much in her life. Peter's crown glistened under Tumnus's arm. His other hand held the note up and it caused him to cry as well.
"I guess we can find Kale and the others," Lucy said, her breaths shallow and slow. "We can tell them that… that…" She was breathing steadily faster as she spoke, unable to bare it anymore, "…that they are gone."
Lucy fell to her knees in tears. Her hands were over her eyes and she cried loudly. Peters crown dropped to the ground when Tumnus knelt down beside her. His arms wrapped around her as they had once before. Her cheek was against his shoulder and her arms were wrapped around. Her heart was breaking with the decisions she was being forced to make. She didn't wish to leave Narnia. Her heart, everything inside her, it told her she did not want to go. She wouldn't but that still didn't make the decision any less painful.
"Lucy." He rocked with her slowly. He couldn't help but cry him self. He could feel her hurt inside. "Lucy, please. We know they are okay. Right?"
He had to find something positive about the situation. He had to for her! Lucy shook her head, wiping her tears with the already soaked cloth. She lost control of her self. Tumnus stood slowly and pulled her up with him. He picked her up carefully into his arms and cradled her. He needed to get her back to his little house at least.
"Kale!" He frantically called for the centaur. "Kale, if you're near, please come!"
He heard galloping. Tumnus grabbed Lucy a little tighter and jumped back. The black furred centaur slid to a stop from a full gallop. He panted and looked up at the faun. Tumnus did not expect the centaur to come so quickly.
"What is wrong?" Kale looked from him to Lucy. "Is she alright? What has happened to the Queen?"
"Kale, calm down." Tumnus shook his head. "You can call the search off. We know what has happened to the others."
"Sir?" Kale blinked. This was when he saw the crown. He leaned over and picked it up slowly. "T…they were not k…killed were they? Who did it! I shall hunt down the fiends!"
Lucy would normally intervene at this moment, but she was too distraught to even move on her own. She could only cry against Tumnus and listen. The faun shook his head and sighed. He was trying to be strong for Lucy since she could not be for herself.
"They are fine. They have...left. This is all." Tumnus looked between Kale and Lucy. "I am going to carry her back to my home. Please place the crown around my hand. I can not move it much more than this."
"Of course." Kale had a worried look on his face still. "Is…she...alright, sir Tumnus?"
"She is upset." He adjusted the crown when Kale placed it around his hand. "Understandably so." Tumnus fought back his own tears. "We both thank you for your help. I would…like to ask you one more thing."
"Anything, sir." Kale nodded. "You have but to ask."
Tumnus sighed and hugged Lucy's sobbing form closer. He needed to get her to Cair Paravel after she felt well enough to travel. She was better protected there.
"I was wondering if you could stay around here for a few days. When the queen feels well enough to travel, I will need escort to take her back to Cair Paravel. Plus you can possibly act as guards for her while she is here. If you wouldn't mind."
"We will do so." Kale bowed his head to the faun and the distraught queen. "I will go tell the others."
"Thank you. I am going to carry her back to my home. I will be there."
With that, he turned and walked away, carrying Lucy with him. Tumnus had so much on his mind right now. He was surprised that he didn't lose it in front of the centaur man. He breathed deeply and slowly. Tumnus glanced down at Lucy in his arms. He knew why he was staying strong. She was why but did he want to admit more to himself?
"We are almost there, Lucy. I will get you a nice warm drink and you can rest. When you are ready we can get you back to your palace."
"Tumnus." She forced her self to look up. "I am…s…sorry I have made you do this."
"Don't be. You didn't make me do a thing that I didn't want to do." He smiled at her. "This is what friends are for."
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She Did Not Go.