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Now or Never	By : Samric Category: M through R > The Obsidian Trilogy Views: 1963 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Obsidian Trilogy. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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I awake in a soft bed with a cool cloth on my brow. Groggily I sit up and after only a moment of taking in the color of the tent hangings, I know I'm in Kellen's own tent. But how did I get here? Last I remember I was...
A hot flush comes to my checks at the memory of my breaking down outside the healer tent and falling asleep in the mud. My father would be ashamed if he knew. I am ashamed. How many people walked by and saw me in such a disgraceful position before some merciful one moved me?
I bury my face in my hands to smother my blush and flop back onto the spread of blankets. One strangely lumpy, hard pile beside me makes a small noise and after a quick glance I realize with much embarrassment and worry that the lumpy pile is none other than Kellen.
I scramble to my knees and quickly pull back the bedding to see what damage I've done and sigh with relief a minute later when his pained expression melts away into one of drowsy calm. He looks so peaceful that I can't help myself from reaching out to stroke his cheek affectionately and smiling when he leans ever-so-slightly into my touch.
I sit back down beside him and continue to run my fingers through his sweaty bangs and forehead and I can't seem to stop smiling.
It really is amazing that within a few months, my entire attitude towards Kellen has changed so much. When we both lived in the City, I taunted him cruelly for years because of his strange physique and apparent lack of talent in the art of High Magery. And now, barely two months* after seeing him again after my banishment, here I am caressing his face, overjoyed that he's alive. The amount that a single person can evolve within so short a time is unbelievable. But I guess that I'm living proof that anything can happen. Who would have thought?
So caught up in my musings, I just barely register the rustling of the tent flap that signals someone entering, and I jerk my hand away from Kellen lest someone get the wrong idea.
...The wrong idea?
The healer from before's voice startles me out of that strange thought and I try to ignore her knowing smile that she turns to me while deliberately glancing to my hand. What in the world is she thinking?? Surely she doesn't think that I'm...I can't even think the word without a stain of a blush coming to my cheeks and nose. My face feels as if it was on fire as she turns her attention from me to Kellen, prodding him gently and checking his bandage covered wound.
I'm still flustered when she smiles at me again and says that Kellen will be fine with some more rest and...caring companionship.
Wrong idea indeed.
She leaves as quietly as she came and I'm left alone with my thoughts once more. Did she really just imply that Kellen and I are—
“Of course not!” I insist hotly to myself aloud. “She was just saying that Kellen needs someone to care for him for a while.”
Even as I say it I'm calling myself a fool on the inside. So what if I care greatly for him now? It doesn't mean that I have to get up in arms every time someone makes mention of it. It's my own insecurities making me so jumpy. I'm sure that the stress from seeing Kellen so close to death, and the feeling of my own inability to help him, is driving me slowly insane.
The memory of how he looked makes me wince and my eyes move of their own accord back to his wounded side. I see that stark white bandages are wrapped around his chest once I lift the shirt he wears up a little, they are clean though and I wonder if perhaps a Wildmage healer cast a healing spell, maybe even the healer that was here earlier.
Seeing nothing out of the ordinary there, my gaze shifts back to his sleeping face and I get a bit of a start. It is no longer peaceful, a frown is upon his features, and his bloodless lips part, trying to form words, and I can hear a bare whisper from them. It's so faint that I can't make it out so I lean over a little with my ears straining as his whispers continue.
“Don't, please. Cilarnen...... Don't....please don't.....”
He's begging! I realize it with alarm.
I never thought Kellen would ever beg anyone, he's much too strong for that. And I don't mean his physical power, though that too probably helps. No, I mean his strength will, spirit, mind, whatever you wish to call it. He's been like an indomitable tower of determination since the first day I saw him after my banishment. Even when I was so determined to despise him, I had to admit that I admired him for the pure confidence and, for lack of a better word, power that he radiated. I almost want to think that I heard wrong just now. Kellen can't beg! He just can't! It feels so wrong.
Praying to be proven wrong, my eyebrows furrow as I listen more intently to his fevered mantra.
“Please.... don't hurt him. Leave Cilarnen out of this you monster... No! Please!” he screams his last and I jerk back, startled by his loud voice and deeply disturbed by his words.
“Blessed Light,” I whisper in horror, my voice harsh sounding, “he's still fighting, even in his dreams.”
His voice continues its increase in volume and desperation and I put my hands on each of his fever-hot cheeks and lean so my lips are almost touching his temple, all the while whispering assurances to him.
“Kellen, it's me, Cilarnen. I'm alright!”
“Leave him alone!”
“Kellen listen to”
“Please! Gods, please!”
“me! I'm fine! You've”
“Cilarnen! Please, please, PLEASE!”
“got to wake up! I'm okay!”
I'm shouting now and our combined voices have alerted the healer that is apparently looking after him and she rushes into the tent. She tries to pry me away from him but I stubbornly hold on, fire in my eyes despite the welling tears as I look at her through the messy curtain of hair over my face.
She concedes the fight and just wipes his face with a cold cloth that brushes my own. She pulls his coverings all the way down and tsks quietly before opening one of his eyes and after examining it, looks to me.
“We need to get him moved to dryer bedding and pull these wet clothes off,” she says. “Can you deal with his clothing while I find some blankets in his truck?”
I nod numbly, but only when she's a safe distance away do I let him go and start tugging each button out. I glance back at her over my shoulder several times before I'm done with his shirt and have pulled his seemingly boneless arms out of them. When I'm done I throw the shirt a short distance away to where I've seen his dirty clothes kept before. Getting him out of his pants and underthings proves to be a much easier—though also much more uncomfortable—task.
A quick tug pulls the material of his pants over his cloth-covered hips and thighs but then I meet resistance as damp skin makes the cloth cling and it takes me a full minute to work each leg free. Then he's down to nothing but his loin wrap and I hesitate. I don't know why I'm suddenly so shy about seeing his naked body—most of my modesty at seeing and being naked has been done away with due to the close quarters of the army's other inhabitants. I've grown used to the sight of nakedness and usually only spare a tiny blush for times when my own body is bared before others. And I know that Kellen is even less shy than I.
So why am is my stomach so fluttery now?
I'm saved from both having to explore that thought any further now as well as having to strip him completely myself, by the healer's reappearance. She drops her bundle and I busy myself with dragging Kellen's body towards the new blankets that she is unrolling. She moves aside and allows me to pull Kellen onto the blankets, helping set his legs on them as well. The still-remaining loin wrap is regarded with a cocked eyebrow and I determinedly avoid her questioning eyes.
Once again I'm saved from an embarrassing moment, this time by Kellen groaning. Only then do I realize that he had stopped crying out sometime while I was undressing him. Both of our attentions are focused back on him again and she spares a few moments to untie the wrap and relieve him of it before she motions for me to come to her with a crooked finger.
“What?” I ask, a little flustered by Kellen's nudity.
She just shakes her head and explains quickly.
“He's losing body heat quickly. Come lay with him so he won't get even sicker. His condition is already bad, if he got worse...” she trails off with a grim look and a thrill of panic races over my spine, but still I hesitate.
“But I,” I start, but don't finish my thought when I hear Kellen's shuddering breathing. I bite my lip but eventually nod minutely and crawl around so I'm beside him. I can feel the heat radiating from his body even through my clothes and I steel myself. I finally have something I can do for him and I will do it.
I lay down next to him on my side and put an arm around his chest, The healer nods approvingly and flips the covers over us. She strokes his face one last time before sitting back on her haunches and speaking to me again.
“He should be okay for now. Just keep him warm and try talking to him. He seems to be having nightmares about you so try to keep him calm with your voice,” she stands as she talks. “I have other patients to look after but I'll be back within the hour.”
And then she's gone, the tent flap swaying a little behind her, and we're alone.
Kellen murmurs a little and I consider her advice, but I have no idea what to say so I just start by telling him that I'm okay and he doesn't have to worry.
“Kellen, don't worry about me; I'm just fine. I wasn't hurt at all. You have to try to get better Kellen. I need you to be here for me...”
I feel awkward talking to him while he's unconscious but he does seem to be taking comfort in my words. His murmuring has stopped and he's shifted his body into my own. Our noses are mere inches from touching and I continue my whispers.
“Kellen? Please wake up. I'm going insane with you like this. I need you to be...you. It doesn't feel right to see you like this. You need to be strong, if only for me,” I admit with a slight hitch in my voice.
Tears are starting to gather once again in my eyes and my vision becomes watery. I hug him tighter and pull him so our foreheads rest against one another. I will his eyes to open so I can see for myself that he's alright.
But they don't and I let out a barely concealed sob as I bury my face in his neck.
“Please!” I gasp out, my voice unintentionally loud with emotion. “You've got to wake up Kellen. For me... I can't...”
I choke as my throat constricts and I have to swallow hard.
“I can't lose you! Don't you see you big idiot!?! I love you!”
I don't even know what I'm saying anymore but moments after the words leave my mouth I have a sense of rightness that I've only ever felt when I'm working with my magic.*
By the Light....I love him.
When did this happen...? How?
I have no idea, but I'm suddenly sure that there was no particular moment. It's just been this budding feeling in the back of my heart and mind that has finally bloomed. I don't think there's any other way explain it.
I love Kellen.
An unexplainable warmth comes to me and I can't help a teary smile from flourishing. I pull back to see Kellen's sleeping face and after a considering moment, lean to touch our lips in a chaste...could you call it a kiss?
I've heard my sisters and their giggly friends talk about kisses before. They said that a kiss between true lovers would make every part of your body tingle and your heart would leap into your throat. Seeing as they always collapsed into giggles and fall all over each other after saying it though, I just assumed that they were making up romantic fantasies between themselves.
Now I know they were right.
His lips are unresponsive but soft and warm, and I begin to tremble after only a moment of our connection. My heart follows the script and immediately lodges itself into my throat and when I pull back, I'm wide-eyed and breathless. I fall limply back to the soft blankets and take deep breaths to fill my starving lungs. I stare at his still calm face and feel an overwhelming euphoria. The urge to laugh until my stomach hurts is almost unbearable but I just lay there staring at him with a smile of wonderment on my lips.
I love Kellen.
The thought follows me into sleep and I'm no longer scared of how Kellen will fare.
I know he'll be alright.
~*~

Footnotes:

1-I don't know how many months Cilarnen was with Kellen after his banishment but I figured it was a while. Two months just fit into Kellen's deal with Shalkan in comparison with everything else that happened—to me anyways. So, two months it is.
2-The lines after the little confession were actually my own thoughts, minus the magic reference. It just felt like the right time to have that one slip out.
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Now or Never