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To Be Loved	By : FlamingoWriting Category: Twilight Series > Slash > Carlisle/Edward Views: 3117 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
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Carlisle’s Fiancée
Carlisle was buried the next day. It was gray outside and started to rain as his casket was lowered into the ground.
But life kept moving forward. I married William, Carlisle’s younger brother, who was now the eldest Cullen son, and world kept turning. But I often thought of Carlisle over the course of the years and wondered of the life we might have had…
Carlisle’s POV
I awoke suddenly and instantly knew where I was. I’m not sure what shocked me more – waking up in a coffin or understanding why I was in the coffin. The last several days came rushing back to me in a sudden rush of memories. The attack. Being taking home. The pain. And finally dying. That was when I really started to panic. I was dead. But at the same time I wasn’t dead.
What was I? I could feel the change in my body. I wasn’t human anymore. That much I knew right away. I moved a hand up to my neck, just to check. The skin was cold and smooth and hard as marble. Pressing two fingers into my neck, I held my breath and waited. No pulse.
I exhaled slowly as another thought crossed my mind. I held my breath and counted. 1…2…3…4… I kept track of time in my mind. 997…998…999….1000. I took in a breath that I now knew to be unnecessary, but it brought me peace of mind. No pulse, no breath, but at the same time not dead.
The sermons of the local priest repeated themselves in my head. My rational mind had always believed him crazy before. Vampires? Please! As if they could really exist. They were monsters of fantasy and imagination. Like werewolves, witches, and other demons. They weren’t real. They couldn’t be real. But now I knew they could… for I was one.
I needed to get out of my underground prison but something didn’t feel right. I knew I had to escape but I couldn’t leave now. I had to wait. So I closed my eyes and waited.
***
I’m not sure how long I lay there. It could have been hours, it could have been days. My throat was on fire. Finally I felt safe. I could leave. I tapped my fingers against the top of my coffin and they made a dull thud as the hard skin hit the hard wood. I balled my hand into a fist. I only had a few free inches to hit the top of the casket but punched with all the force I could, and my first went straight through the soft dirt on the other side.
The dirt was still soft and loose from my burial and I was able to climb out rather quickly. The night was moonless but I was still able to see just as clearly as if it were the middle of the afternoon. I looked at my grave, my headstone looked back at me.
Carlisle Cullen
1640-1668
“May the heavens shine brighter with the light of another star.”
I cleaned up my grave site. The last nightmare my family needed was to think my grave had been vandalized. My father just buried his eldest son; that was enough heartache for one lifetime.
I looked back at the family estate one last time before turning towards the woods. I could fight this. I wasn’t going to be the soulless monster that people believed. I would fight it.
***
I ran. Faster than I had even been able to before. Faster than I thought possible. The sun was just coming up over the horizon when I found a cave that I could hide in. I must have been hundreds of miles from my family by now. The further I was from my loved ones the better.
I stayed in the cave for days. The exact length of time was lost to me.
The days become weeks. The weeks became months. The months became years. I had yet to feed and my thirst was overwhelming. One day a scent hit me. It was the most wonderful thing I had ever smelled. Before I could think I lost my will power. I ran out of my cave and came across a heard of deer. I killed one. And then another. And then another. Before I could think again I had drained most of the heard. The fire in my throat was gone. A sudden thought came to me. I could live on animals! I didn’t have to kill humans. I didn’t have to be a monster.
Returning to my cave I sat down to think. I had to plan my next moves very carefully. Tomorrow, I would rejoin society.
***
The first decision I made was to leave England. I needed a new start and that meant a new home. I didn’t have money so I snuck aboard a ship headed to America. The journey across the ocean took a month but it seemed much faster to me. The next vivid memory I had was setting stepping into the new world, and into my new life.
Time came and went. I became a doctor again and was able to save almost all of my wages. I traveled from town to town as the years passed. I never stayed in one place for very long. I never aged and could not afford for anyone to grow suspicious of me.
The Revolutionary War was fought and America was born. The gold rush of the west and flocks of people took off for California and the fortunes it held. The Civil War came and went, the country divided, brother fighting brother. And before I knew what was happening it was 1900 and the start of a new century.
***
The year was 1918 and I found myself in Chicago. I was working in an inner city hospital. I was lonely. Two hundred and fifty years had passed since I had become the creature that I was. My control had been perfected and the blood of my patients no longer held any desire for me. I learned my strengths and my weaknesses. I could run faster and longer, fight harder, and survive better than any animal in the world. I didn’t eat and I didn’t sleep. I had to avoid the sun. But I longed for companionship. I wanted a friend.
My entire world was about to change. My perfectly planned routine was about to be turned upside down. And I had no idea the change was coming.
“Dr. Cullen, do you have a minute.”
I looked up from my chart of patients and saw the director of the hospital coming towards me.
“Yes Sir, what can I do for you.”
“We have a new doctor starting residency tomorrow, I was hoping you wouldn’t mind if he worked under you. You’ve only been here a few months but are one of the best physicians on the staff and I really think this young man could learn from you.”
“I don’t mind at all, Sir. When should I expect him?”
“Tomorrow morning. His name is…” the director paused as he looked down at the paper work in his hands. “Dr. Edward Mason.”
And with those two simple sentences, my whole existence was about to change.
Author's Note
Introducing Edward in the next chapter!! They will finally meet...

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To Be Loved