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Demon Song	By : TheBlindQueen Category: Twilight Series > AU/AR > Het > Het Views: 1989 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
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**Chapter 2: As if Things Weren’t Complicated Enough**

Alice and Jasper were waiting by the car when I stalked down the stairs and impatiently hit the remote to unlock the doors. I saw Alice glance at Jasper, trying to hide her smile.

I narrowed my eyes as I studied her. “Is something funny?” I all but growled.

Her expression grew more somber and Jasper took a step closer to her, as if he sensed – and he probably did – the violence that lurked just beneath the surface. “Not funny,” she contradicted. “I can just see that you’ve…met…someone.”

I glared at her. “Do you mean to tell me you saw her coming and you didn’t think to warn me?”

Jasper looked at us both in confusion and I could see him twitch, ready to lower into a fighting stance. He was overly protective of Alice, in my opinion. I knew just how well my sister could take care of herself. I also knew that Jasper was still, in many ways, the Southern gentleman who would protect the woman he loved.

Alice was already shaking her head as she placed a soothing hand on Jasper’s shoulder. “No,” she sighed. “No, I mean, not before today, not until... After you had already-” She looked up at Jasper and gave a little shrug. “He met someone today.”

Jasper quirked one brow at me in inquiry. I shook my head and pulled open the door with too much force; I could hear the hinges protest and I took a deep breath. “Get in,” I snapped.

Alice and Jasper slid into the backseat without further comment. At least for a moment. Alice had never been able to keep her mouth shut for long. “Are you all right?”

It was not the question I had expected, and the genuine concern in her voice had me calming down before I knew it. I wondered if Jasper was lending a hand. Not that it mattered; I needed to get myself together before we got home. I needed to think – to make decisions.

I needed to talk to Carlisle. At least that decision was easy enough, even if everything else seemed turned inside out.

I suddenly slowed down and pulled off the side of the road. “I’m going to let you two run home from here,” I explained.

Alice nodded, already expecting it. Jasper merely shrugged and opened his door. I looked up to see Alice at my window, her anxious gold eyes studying me. “Edward, I promise you, I didn’t see anything. Not until it was too late. You know I wouldn’t -”

I sighed and nodded. “I know.”

Her hand touched my face. “She’ll change things for you, Edward.”

All of a sudden, the undeniable and forbidden thirst flamed in my throat yet again, just at the thought of her. “I almost…” I shook my head. “Right there, in front of everyone, in front of all those children, Alice.” I looked up at her. “I almost ruined it for all of us.”

“But you didn’t,” she soothed. “And you won’t.” She frowned and was driven to honesty. “Probably.”

I gave a bark of bitter laughter. “I’m not willing to bet our lives on probably, Alice.”

“Don’t…don’t mention anything to Esme,” I asked. “Not yet.”

Alice’s gaze was still troubled, but she nodded. “Of course.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Though I am the one who can read minds, Carlisle had always been able to see through any subterfuge. It took him only one glance my face and he made his excuses to the nurse he had been talking to, then urged me into his small, already cluttered office.

“What’s wrong?” His voice was concerned, but not fearful. Not yet.

“I…” I didn’t know how to go on, how to admit that after so many decades of denying my nature, it had come roaring to dangerous life merely at the whiff of a young girl’s blood.

Carlisle’s eyes were full of compassion. “Tell me.” The gentle command was too much and I found the words tumbling from me in a random, jumbled order that no human could have made sense of – but he understood. All too well.

“Ah,” he finally said, when my rambling confession came to an end. “I see.”

“Carlisle, I came so…close…” I hissed at the memory of the monster’s plotting, his utter assurance that her blood was his to claim. “I’ve never…wanted – needed - a human’s blood so much.”

I had to force my gaze to meet his, so sure that I would see condemnation and disgust there. And that would hurt me far more than the monster’s dark plotting. Instead I found only understanding, as I should have expected. Carlisle had never been one to judge; his love was unconditional and unending. It humbled me all over again, just as it had when I had returned as the prodigal son, the blood of humans still shining crimson in my shamed eyes.

“Have you spoken to Alice about this?” he asked.

I could not reply at first. I had seen a flash of something in Alice’s mind before she buried it. She was better than the rest of them at keeping me out. Usually I was grateful. Now, however, my frustration and fear combined to make me angry.

“Sort of,” I replied.

“And?” Carlisle urged.

I blew out a breath and concentrated on unclenching my fists. “She told me that I probably wouldn’t kill her,” I answered with a touch of dark laughter.

“Interesting,” Carlisle murmured. “Anything else?”

“She said she saw a change coming for me, that this girl – this human – would change things for me.” Change could be good, but it could also be disaster. I knew that better than most. What changes would this frail little human bring to my existence? And why did I find myself almost …anticipating what they would be? I wanted to know, and yet I feared the knowledge. I feared HER, the way she drew me to her without knowing it.

It was almost as if she had been created by a vengeful god to punish me for what I was, a demon to lure me to my destruction.

And would that be so bad?

The thought startled me. How long had it been since I had contemplated ending my strange existence? I had shied away from the thought, knowing how much pain it would bring to Carlisle – not to mention Esme. This strange, fragile girl, however, brought the old agonies to the surface.

She made me remember the monster I really was. I had fooled myself for too long, thinking that the surface changes were real. The truth was, I was still a monster – a killer – and I always would be. My reaction to the girl had proven that.

“I need to go away,” I muttered.

“To the Denali clan?” Carlisle suggested.

The memory of Tanya’s hungry eyes made me shake my head. I needed to be alone, to think. I needed to remember all the lessons I had learned at Carlisle’s side.

And I needed to feed; the thirst was unbearable.

“I just need a few days,” I told him. “Please tell Esme that…that I’m sorry.”

He nodded, his eyes both anxious and speculative. “Go on then, son,” he said softly. “We’ll be waiting for you.”
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