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The First Cut is the Deepest	By : TheBlindQueen Category: Twilight Series > Het > Bella/Edward Views: 6929 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
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***Chapter 2: Truth***

I watched them, unwilling to be a witness to what they shared, unable to look away. They held me captive. Then a breeze blew at my back and I watched with shock as Jacob stiffened, his expression twisting for a moment with distaste. He smoothed out his expression and then brushed his big hand along Bella’s cheek. “Why don’t you go home and take a nap?” he suggested gently. “You look tired.” He leaned down to place a tender kiss on her temple. “And you know what the doctor said.”

She grimaced. “You worry too much.” Then Bella yawned. “I suppose I could,” she allowed.

“But first eat some ice cream,” Jacob added in a teasing tone. “It will help you sleep.”

“You know I only love you because you bring me home Rocky Road,” Bella teased back.

“Why do you think I keep bringing it home?“

“All right then,” Bella said. “But don’t be late. I’m making a special dinner!” She climbed into the truck and drove away, the engine chugging loudly.

Jacob watched her drive away, glanced toward the woods where I hid, and then turned sharply and marched back into the garage. I was too stunned to listen for his thoughts at that point. How had he smelled me? How? What WAS he? He was Quileute, but surely… No, that was not possible. They had been gone for over seventy years.

Unable to help myself, I followed him into the garage. He was standing at a workbench, with his back to me, working at some piece of machinery. He thought and said my name at the same time. “Cullen…”

“How…?”

He turned then, his face made out of stone. “I’m surprised you had the balls to show your face here, Cullen.” Jacob shook his head. “We don’t want any damned leeches here. Why don’t you go back where you came from?” He sneered. “Like hell.”

I caught a whiff of his scent then and my expression must have mirrored what his face showed when he smelled me. It was not fully human, but I was familiar with the scent. A wolf? Here? Again? Why?

“You’re a wolf,” I accused.

Jacob snorted. “You think?” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “That tends to happen in the tribe when leeches move into the neighborhood.”

“What?”

“The Cullens arrived and then the wolves made their appearance. Again,” Jacob explained dismissively. “As if you didn’t know.”

I hadn’t known. None of us had. Carlisle would be fascinated. But that was a topic for another time. I had much more pressing business. I turned my thoughts to the matters at hand. “I-”

Jacob interrupted. “Listen, I don’t know why you’re here. I don’t care. But you’re not going to hurt Bella again.” His eyes grew bitter and hard. “I’ve already picked up the pieces you left behind once. Neither one of us is strong enough to go through that again.”

I swallowed hard, knowing that I deserved every word of condemnation he had to offer. Then I remembered the tender way she had embraced him and bitterness rose up to choke me. What did he have to be angry about? He had won. She had chosen him. “It looks like she recovered just fine.”

Jacob threw a wrench and it bounced off the wall behind me. “Oh really, you think she just moved right along after you threw her away huh?” He stalked toward me. “For two years, two LONG years, I watched her twist herself up over you, cry over you. I held her when she cried sometimes, you know that? I let her grieve. I let her heal. I let her take her time. I never left her, not once. Not like you did. And eventually – God, it took so damned long! – she realized that I never was going to leave. That she could love me and be safe, that I wouldn’t ever hurt her.”

“I was-”

“Just shut up. You don’t have the right to do or feel anything,” Jacob hissed. “I’m the one who picked the pieces. I’m the one who put her back together. I’m the one who saved her when your friend showed up!”

“What friend?” I asked, and then I saw the answer in his mind. Laurent.

He had come back. For Bella.

“That’s right,” Jacob said. “I know you’re picking stuff out of my head, and that’s fine.” He smiled wickedly. “I can live with what I’ve seen. But can you?”

A thousand images of Bella flickered through his head. Bella looking pale and wan, sobbing as he held her. Jacob embracing her, soothing her as she talked to him, promising her that he would never hurt her. Bella in pain in a hundred different ways. Because of me.

Because of what I did.

And then the most painful image of all. The day Bella went to him and told him what he had waited so long to hear, gave him what he had wanted more than anything else in the world.

Bella loved him. Bella loved Jacob. And I loved Bella. Still. Always. For the rest of eternity, my cold silent heart belonged to her.

“That’s right, bloodsucker,” Jacob laughed at the expression on my face. “You’re too late. You screwed up. You left her, and I stayed.”

“I had to,” I tried to explained. “It was too dangerous.”

“Yeah,” Jacob agreed. “But you didn’t give a fucking thought to what you were leaving her to face, did you?” He snorted. “You left her here, unprotected as far as you knew. And we watched out for her. WE took care of Laurent.”

“I had no idea,” I whispered. “I thought-”

“It doesn’t matter what you thought, parasite,” Jacob. “I’ll watch over Bella. You’re not needed.”

I wasn’t. I was neither wanted nor needed. And I had only myself to blame. But my own pain did not negate the danger that stalked Bella. I forced myself to think of that, to do what was right rather than what I wanted.

“Actually, there’s a problem,” I said. “Victoria…”

An image of her face rose up in Jacob’s mind, her teeth bared in a snarl. “Again?” he spat. Then he sighed and rubbed at his jaw. “All right, you’ve told me. Now you can go.”

“You know about Victoria?”

“She makes a go at Bella once a year or so,” Jacob said. “She’s one of the reasons we’re all still phasing, even after you and yours left us alone.” Then he sneered at me. “But don’t worry, Cullen. We watch out for our own. Bella’s never left unprotected. Even now, one of my brothers is following the truck. And he’ll run a perimeter around the house.”

“My sister told me to come here,” I said softly. “There must be a reason for that.”

“The fortune teller?” Jacob asked. /Just go, leave us alone. If you hurt Bella again, I swear to God…/ His thoughts became snarled and violent, as if he could not choose a punishment vile enough for me if I hurt her. Strangely, I agreed with him.

I had done enough.

“Well, I don’t know what your leech sister saw, but we’ve got it covered,” Jacob insisted. “We’ll watch over Bella.”

“You’re not just watching over Bella now,” I reminded him quietly.

Jacob’s face twisted in anxiety. “You think I don’t know that, Cullen?”

“Maybe there’s a reason Alice told me to come back to Forks,” I pushed. “Maybe I can…help.”

“Don’t you think you’ve done enough?” Jacob asked harshly. Another image of Bella flashed through his head and I felt my chest tighten.

God, I had hurt her so much. And all for nothing. Nothing I had done had kept her safe. I had lost her. No, I had thrust her away – and all for naught.

“Surely it’s better to have one more guarding Bella and…and the baby.” The word stuck in my throat, bitter and cold.

“Bella and our son will be just fine, thanks anyway, bloodsucker.”

A son. Bella’s son. Jacob’s son. Maybe it was better this way. He could give her so much that I could not. And yet…

Oh, how I longed to be the one who had the right to hold her now, to cradle that growing life in her belly and know that our child was growing safe and warm inside of her.

I shrugged. “Well, in any case, the treaty still stands,” I reminded him. “I’ll be staying in our house.”

“Don’t try to contact Bella,” Jacob warned again. “Don’t call her, don’t run into her, and don’t let her know you’re here.” He cleared his throat. “It’s been a tough pregnancy, and the doctor doesn’t want her to get too…stressed.” He paused. “And I’m not telling her about Victoria either. Not now.”

I hesitated for a moment, knowing I had no right to ask.

“Is she all right?”

Jacob’s eyes hardened into black diamonds. “She’s fine. And she’s gonna stay that way. But that’s my concern, not yours.” His jaw bulged. “Understand?”

I nodded, realizing that he was right. She belonged to Jacob Black now.

“I understand.”

“I don’t expect I’ll see your face again,” Jacob added. “Or smell your stench.” He laughed then. “Just so we understand each other.”

I nodded once more and turned to walk away. I heard the clamor of thoughts from Jacob, knowing that his anxiety for Bella was sharp and frantic. He had been warned, and he was capable of looking after her. I had to trust in that. I had to believe.

I had lost Bella forever, and I would have to find a reason to continue to exist.

If I could.

If I even wanted to bother.
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The First Cut is the Deepest