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Every Bit of My Love	By : brebaby947 Category: M through R > The Outsiders Views: 1741 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders nor the characters from the book and i do not make any money off of this fanfiction.

Chapter List
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Chapter 2
Johnny's Love
I would never know how to explain things if any of my secrets reached the gang. Somehow I survived the incident in the church but I will be forever scared; the only one that seems not to care is Pony. He's the only one that really talks to me anymore, although Dally still watches over me extensively, I feel so alone. I know the guys don't care about who we love that's are own problem but how can I love the only truly straight guy in the bunch, like knock my teeth down my throat if I would ever say anything. This is why I don't want anyone to find about my feelings. I sit here in the Curtis's living room contemplating whether I should stay when Darry walked in.
"Hey there Johnny, you staying tonight?" I shrugged my shoulders wondering if he actually cared about me.
"Well I think ya should. It's getting too damn cold in the lot for ya to be sleepin there." He smiled and grabbed me a blanket and tossed it at me. I smiled and my heart dropped seeing him smiling like that. Yeah, hopelessly in love with Darryl Curtis, that's me. I kick myself mentally and lay down covering myself up with the blanket.
I wake up to someone calling my name. I can remember the nightmare I just don't remember screaming.
"Johnny, you alright man? I looked around the room and then back at Darry.
"Ya, I think so." I mumble pulling myself together as much as I could.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he said sitting down where my feet just were.
"Don't you have to get up tomorrow?" he nodded and I shook my head. "No just go back to bed, I'll be fine I swear." I smiled faking my way through the motions.
"No Johnny, something's bothering you. I want you to talk to me, please." I shook my head.
"It's not important, please don't stay up." I was pleading with him, if I told him what the dream was about I would have to tell him I liked him and that was not happening. He shrugged his shoulders and went back to his bedroom. I sighed in relief.
By the time I woke up the next day Darry, Soda, and Steve were gone and Pony was in the kitchen reading. I raided the fridge after hearing Pony mumble something about cake in there. I sat down next to him and ate quietly, contemplating how I was going to avoid Darry. I figured I would just sleep at home or in the lot for the next few nights, hopefully, he would just forget about the whole situation.
"Hey Johnny, wanna go to the lot?" I nodded my head and we grabbed our coats and left.
"Do you have a cigarette?" I asked shoving my hands into the pockets of my coat. He nodded and dug one out for me. "I thought you quit?"
"Yea well with the Steve thing and all the tension in the house I couldn't help myself. Steve gave them to me after I threatened him of death during the night if he didn't." he said chuckling and shaking his head. I smirked and took a drag of the cig. I wished for that type of relationship with Darry, well not exactly. I won't want him to cheat on me but for us to be together and love each other the way they love each other. Steve may be a dumbass sometimes but we all knew he loved Pony.
"What ya thinkin about?" Pony asked.
"Nothin much, just relationships." I said shrugging.
"What do ya mean?" he asked trying to divulge some type of information.
"Just wonderin what it would be like to be loved like you love Steve. It's gotta be nice to know that you have someone." I felt my face grow a little red and started to try to calm myself down. I hate getting flustered so I do my best not to put myself in those situations. We walked to the lot and chilled out there for awhile before Two-Bit showed up and then Dally. Pony and Two-Bit decided to head home before the guys got home from work and me and Darry left for a walk.
"Hey kid, whats up with ya? You've barely said anything." he said putting his arm around my shoulders. Dally knew I was gay but not that I was in love with Darry and I perfered to leave it that way. Due to not wanting to be picked on at every moment possible. Dal can be an ass that way most of the time.
"Nothin," he gave a look "It's nothin Dally I swear." I said defending myself. He looked down out of the corner of his eyes and nodded in that stupid way that told me that he wasn't believing the lie.
I sighed "Really it's nothin but if ya have to know I think I like someone, but forget it I ain't telling ya who." He chuckled
"Yea right your tellin me now and ya know it!" he said in a demanding voice.
"No Darry, cause you will never let me live it down. I know you!" I said pushing his arm off me.
"Come on little Johnny what if I promise ya not to tell anyone and not to say anything." He said giving me little punches.
"Come on knock it off Dal, no way would I tell you." I said turning at the corner.
"Your no fun Johnny!" he said basically pleading with me to give in. I knew I would never get out of this, so I made a decision. If it came to yelling I would tell him not a minute sooner. "You will tell me or you will pay!" he screamed pouncing on me, by this time we had circled around to the lot again and we were rolling around the lot fighting each other. I would squirm out only to be caught up again.
"Fine let me up and I will tell ya!" he let me up but kept a hold of me just in case I tried to run which had been my plan. In a split decision I ripped his grip off my jacket and took off running. Dally tried to keep up but I eventually lost him. Telling him just became too scary I couldn't let anyone know. There was no doubt in my mind I would be sleeping in the lot now, Dal would be looking for me at the Curtis's and I definitely couldn't go there. If there wasn't a hint before that it was one of the gang then there definitely was now.
I checked around the corner to make sure there was nobody in the lot before I walked in. I went to where I normally slept and sat down to get comfy. Just as I sat down I seen one of the guys turn the corner into the lot, I knew there was no hiding.
"Hey there you grease, I've been looking for you. You have some explaining to do. You took off on Dally and you had a nightmare last night, but you won't talk to anyone about anything whats going on with ya?" Darry asked as he grew closer to me.
"It's nuthin Dar, I'm fine I swear. I just didn't want to talk to Dally about it and he was forcing me." I said shrugging.
"You know what he's like when you tell him you like someone," he said sitting down next to me.
"I know, I just don't want anyone to know not till I tell'em, if I ever," I watched him nod his head. I caught myself in that instant from kissing him and making a fool out of myself.
"I get that, besides you won't be lucky enough to tell'em cause Dally's got a big mouth." I chuckled and nodded my head. Our eyes connected and I lost it. I leaned in and let my lips brush his. As I pulled away I felt his hand wrap around my neck and pull me back in. We kissed right there in the lot where anyone and everyone could see us.
"Is that what this has been about?" he asked as he pulled back. I nodded and he smiled, something I hadn't seen in a long time. I fell even more for him as I seen that. "Well I'm glad we worked that out, can we go back it's cold as hell out here?"
"Yea lets go," I said taking the hand that was offered to me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close.
"Just so ya know I love ya Johnny," he said smiling and pulling me impossibly closer. Now I knew what it was like to love and be loved.
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Every Bit of My Love