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By Hook or By Crook	By : OktoberBlack Category: M through R > Peter Pan > Het Views: 14973 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Peter Pan, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Disclaimer: Not my characters (except for the ones that are). Not making any money off of them. Wish I were, never going to be. Don’t sue me, please.

This is a short chapter, but I think it works best if I leave it here for now. Where do I go with this? There are, obviously, two ways I can go but I would like to hear from you. What do you think? Read it and let me know—what you think may very well sway how this story finally ends. Because end it must and we’re coming very close.

By Hook or By Crook (for want of a better name)

Chapter Twenty: And So It Goes

We never made it outside.

Hook helped me off the bed and led me toward the entrance to the cave Stephano had used as a bedroom. But no sooner were we out of the bedroom and into the main portion of the cave, then there was a huge commotion outside the cave proper. The sounds of fighting and running, and of swords clanging against swords and against stone rang out in the early evening air.
“Captain!” came Smee’s voice from outside.
“Stay here,” Hook commanded me. He drew his sword and strode towards the fighting. I stood just outside the kitchen area, unable to see anything that was happening outside, and wondered if I dared venture to where I could see better. I decided that I did dare, and crept quietly toward the front room, Stephano’s workshop, so I could peer outside.

It was Pan and his Lost Boys.

Somehow, Peter Pan and the Lost Boys had found Hook and his crew, all the way up here in the mountainous jungle. The fighting was intense, and at the same time it looked ridiculous—all these grown men fighting tooth and nail with little boys. Hook was going at it with Peter Pan himself; I could see the boy flying around the clearing, his sword flashing as it clanged against Hook’s sword and hook. Pan was laughing as he fought and Hook looked more alive than he ever had, except perhaps when we’d last had sex. I might even have called what we’d done making love, if I were to look at it from Hook’s perspective. Hook grinned madly as they fought, even though he was being driven back in toward the mouth of the cave. I backed up, not wanting to be seen, but seen I was.

A small flash of something quick and sparkly flew by me and then stopped in mid-air in front of my face.
“What the fuck?” I asked with a frown, peering in close to see what the hell this thing was.
”My God. Are you Tinkerbell?” In front of my face was a tiny woman dressed in something green that almost looked like a leaf. She had blonde hair, and her body shimmered and glowed as she hovered in mid-air in front of me. She said something I couldn’t catch, but from the look on her tiny face it was obviously derogatory. “Yeah, well, fuck you too, you fucking fairy,” I muttered at her. She gave me a tiny fairy raspberry and began to dive bomb me. “Fuck!” I ran into the kitchen, trying to get away from her, but she pursued me. I guess she figured I was the easiest target for her, especially since I didn’t have a sword or any other kind of weapon.

Then it hit me. Fairy dust. Tinkerbell was a prime source of fairy dust. And I needed fairy dust.

I looked madly around for something with which to capture her. Smee had obviously been using the kitchen to wash up the dishes; there was a huge kettle on the woodstove and a bucket full of dirty, soapy water. I hit the jackpot, though, when I looked at the table. All the glassware Hook had been using was clean and drying, upside down on the wooden table. I stuck out my tongue at Tinkerbell, hoping to get her really riled up. It worked. She came at me, ready to dive bomb me once again. I grabbed one of the deepest wineglasses from the table and with a quick motion, swooped it over her and then down on the table again, trapping her between glass and wooden tabletop. She screamed in rage, banging against the glass and making it shake. Obviously, this wasn’t a permanent solution but I only needed to contain her briefly. Of course, I needed to get her to the workshop, somehow. There were plates on the table as well, just cleaned from the dinner Hook and I had eaten. I put one at the edge of the table and slowly, as if I were containing a spider to be put back outside, I slid the glass to the edge of the table until the plate was now underneath the glass. Tinkerbell threw a fit, jumping up and down and shaking her little fists at me. When she gave me the finger and began to swear at me in some bizarre fairy language, I just laughed.
“I need you too much to care what you say about me,” I told her, holding the glass up to eye level. “When I’m done with you, you can go free.”

Well, I thought, time to go.

I was still only wearing the linen shirt Smee had given me, but I knew I wasn’t going to get another opportunity like this one. A part of me wanted to stay but more of me wanted to go, and now that I had fairy dust… well, there wasn’t any reason to wait. Hook and Pan were still fighting outside the cave, now dancing inside the mouth of the cave, now back outside of it.
“You’re just an old man! No one loves you!” Pan was saying gleefully.
“That’s where you’re wrong, Pan! You had a Wendy, but you lost her. Well, I’ve got one now and she’s staying with me! And the things we do together… you’ll never understand!” Hook responded, his voice crackling with energy.
“How can you have a Wendy?” Pan jeered. I could hear their swords clash and scrape as they fought. “I’ll bet she hasn’t even given you a thimble yet!”
“A thimble? You poor stupid little boy. You have no idea about women, do you?” Hook said. I peered around the corner and could just see them. Hook thrust and Pan parried; their swords clashed against each other and slid up until they were almost nose-to-nose, pushing against each other. “A thimble isn’t anything! Unless you grow up, you’ll never really know true pleasure,” he said with a grunt of exertion.
“I’m never going to grow up!” Pan exclaimed, his voice strained.
“Then you’ll never really know what a Wendy can do for you,” Hook sneered. “Only a man can take pleasure from a woman.”
“Why would I want to do that anyway?” Pan asked. He pushed Hook away finally, flying into the mouth of the cave over Hook’s head. “It sounds awful. A Wendy is for telling stories and for giving you medicine and…” And then he saw me. “Are you Hook’s Wendy?” he asked me.
“Uh… My name isn’t Wendy, if that’s what you’re asking,” I said, the glass and plate that had Tinkerbell trapped conspicuously held between my two hands.
“Is that Tinkerbell?” Pan asked, just as Hook came at him again. They locked swords as Hook drove Pan back deeper into the caves. “Tink!”
“I thought I told you to stay put!” Hook yelled at me as he hacked away at his eternal enemy.
“I’ll get out of the way!” I yelled back.
“Is that what you’re talking about?” Pan said as he disappeared down into the cave, Hook pushing him further inwards. “She’s old…”
“She’s beautiful! And she loves me!” Hook shouted, redoubling his efforts against Pan. And then they were out of sight inside the rest of the cave and all I could hear was the echo of their voices as they argued and the sound of their swords as they fought.

I shook with fear. Tinkerbell was sitting in her glass prison, contemplating me. She stood up and said something and this time I thought I could make it out.
“Are you really Hook’s Wendy?” she asked.
“Not really,” I replied, carrying her quickly to the workshop. I put the glass and plate down on the nearest worktable as I scanned the walls, looking for the telltale signs of the portal. “I was his captive.”
“Why does he call you his Wendy then?” she asked.
“He’s fallen in love with me,” I answered absently. I didn’t want to admit that I was half in love with him too. “Now shut up. I’m trying to find… Ah! Here it is!”
“What are you looking for?”
“A portal back to my world.” I turned to her. “I need fairy dust to make it work.”
“You’re leaving Hook? But you said he loves you,” she asked, confused.
“He loves me. I didn’t say I loved him back,” I answered. She grinned and chuckled evilly.
“So if I help you, he’ll be pissed off?”
“Probably,” I admitted. “He wants me to stay and be a pirate with him.”
“But you want to leave.”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll help you,” she said. “Take the glass off and you can have some fairy dust.”
“How can I trust you?” I asked. “You were swearing at me and flipping me off just a moment ago.”
“That’s when I thought you were with Hook, not against him,” she said. “And you told me to fuck off!”
“True, true,” I admitted, thinking quickly. “Fine, let’s do it. Just give me a moment.”

I stood in the middle of the workshop, thinking madly. Stephano must have had some gold around here, probably hidden… if I were him, where would I stash it? I looked around, scanning the walls and the tables for anything that looked likely. He’d stuck his most important instructions in the middle of his copy of “Peter Pan,” right? So maybe another book… And there it was. In the middle of his workshop was a copy of “The Internet for Dummies,” a book that would have no practical use in Neverland, where they didn’t have the Internet. I grabbed it and pulled it open. In the centre were a bag of gold coins and a money clip with a serious number of twenty-dollar American bills. Neverland and US currency—great! I grabbed the cash with one hand and pulled the glass off of Tinkerbell with the other hand. She flew directly to the edge of the portal. I joined her. I tapped the sides of the portal with my free hand, my other hand full of cash, just as Tinkerbell shook her booty, sprinkling fairy dust all over the place. For just a brief moment, I wondered what the hell fairy dust actually was, and then I didn’t care anymore. There was a gleam of light and the portal opened, an opening into my world glowing through the wall.

And then Hook and Pan came into the room, their swords still clashing.
“What’s that?” Pan asked, pausing in mid-air. “Tink!”
“What?” Hook asked, turning distractedly. He saw the portal; he saw me. “What are you doing? Where are you going?”
“I…” I stammered, looking toward the portal and then looking back at Hook. “I’m sorry, James.”
“But you love me!” he roared. “How can you leave me when you love me?!” He lunged at me, at the portal, but in a moment I’d stepped through it and it closed behind me. The last thing I saw was the look of utter betrayal on his face as I walked away from him.
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By Hook or By Crook