Ascent to Power | By : Hot4Gerry Category: M through R > The Phantom of the Opera > Het Views: 5436 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own The Phantom of the Opera, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Chapter Nineteen
Truths of a Friend
Meg had been with Raoul and Christine for two months. It had been confirmed she was with child. She had cried non stop for hours, days. Raoul had done his best to comfort her. Christine surprised him by showing a little concern for Meg's situation. She had even spent the first month of Meg's stay at home with Meg. They had walked in the garden and gone into Paris shopping. Christine had helped Meg with her new wardrobe. In her new colorful clothing she looked quite charming.
If she had not been in a delicate condition Raoul would have invited a few of his close friends for dinner in order for Meg to meet a potential beau. Her sweet nature and innocent beauty would have had them falling over their feet to win her heart. Raoul himself was attracted to her but he sought only friendship as they both were in need of kindness and understanding at this time in their lives. Neither of them was ready to offer anyone anything more. As for sex Raoul resorted to what he had done in his youth. It was not as rewarding or as warm as a woman but he could trust the hand that gave him pleasure. He did not have to look to see if a dagger was going to be plunged into his heart or his back.
No one mentioned the black and blue of Raoul’s eye or the bandaged hand a few days after Meg came to stay. He walked with a limp for a couple of days. No one but Henri and Raoul saw the bandages wrapped tightly around his chest. He had bruised ribs from the blows of a fist. Raoul was in pain but he could hold his head high. The men who hurt Meg would think long and hard before attempting anything like that again.
Watching Meg's distress over the first few days he knew nothing would make her feel safe except knowing the men were no longer a threat permanently. He could not tell her of how he had finally dealt with these men. Raoul had set in motion events that would remove the men permanently.
Sweet little Meg had just gotten to the point where she did not jump every time Raoul spoke a little louder than a whisper. She still jumped at every sudden noise. She would not look anyone in the eye. Meg hung her head in needless shame. Raoul wanted to tell her it was not her fault. She had done nothing to be ashamed of. It was those animals who should feel ashamed.
He wanted to tell Meg she had nothing to fear as he had spoken with the so called gentlemen who attacked her. Neither man would be bedding a woman any time soon. They had been lucky Raoul did not follow his first inclination which was to emasculate them. Instead he beat them to the point of almost extinguishing their lives. The only thing holding him back was the thought of going to hell and having to spend eternity with those vile men. He had other ideas of disposing of these low life excuses for men.
Raoul had taken Henri along with him as he visited each man. After a thorough discussion with the men Henri had been instructed to deposit each man on the steps of the police station. With their proclivity for theft they had to be wanted and if not they would spend an uncomfortable few nights in jail. The jails were so full of criminals it took days for men found innocent of crimes to be set free. The wheels of justice turned very slow unless someone had influence. If a person was influential while also being so inclined the wheels could be made to come to a grinding halt. Prisoners could even become lost in the system for weeks or months.
Meg's continued fear as well as almost nightly having nightmares lead Raoul to the conclustion she would never feel safe unless those men were permanently removed.
It was not unheard of for men to be murdered while waiting for release. A word in the ear of the right prisoners and another man could easily be disposed of. Most men in the prisons were thieves or petty criminals. A few were guilty of worse crimes but almost to a man it was not proper to harm a woman or a child. A grown man was one thing but the weaker beings were to be protected.
An old school friend on Raoul's was representing a client on trial for burglary. A few names dropped, with some details of crimes committed casually mentioned at a dinner one evening, set in motion the plan to eliminate Meg's attackers. Raoul's friend had taken the hint. Money had anonymously been given to Pierre's client along with certain instructions. Raoul felt very little guilt for his actions.
The newspapers carried an article just this morning about three men who had mysteriously been slain while in jail pending an investigation of whether charges could be brought against them for any crime other than vagrancy. The men had been found on the steps in front of police headquarters a few nights previously. It was unfortunate but these things happened occasionally according to Captain Louis Armand.
He gave an extensive interview hoping to draw attention away from the fact that three men who had not been charged with any serious crime had been murdered in a jail under his command. Charges of theft, rape and murder were suddenly discovered to have been perpetrated by all four men. Due to the sensitive nature of some of their crimes names would be withheld as no further action could be taken and in order to protect the innocent no further details would be released to the public or press.
Raoul was satisfied with the results. Now Meg could breath easier. She would not be completely able to relax but it would give her breathing room until her mind and body healed. Being in a delicate condition did not bode well for her future. Raoul would make sure neither she nor her baby would want for anything. He looked forward to being an uncle. If he could not be a father, a doting uncle would have to satisfy his needs to be a parent. He had made that promise to himself with or without Christine's blessing.
Christine had gone into Paris this morning and had left Meg behind. Raoul knew this was not a shopping trip. This was a trip to find some relief from missing her Phantom lover. The days when the thought of her with another man drove him to ride the countryside until he could no longer himself in the saddle and his horse could take not one more step were gone. The days when he would go into his study and drink himself into oblivion had at last passed. For a month or so he had sought solace in the arms of an old lover from his youth. That only lasted a short time. He broke off the affair with no hard feelings but a much lighter purse.
His pain had been replaced with a need for revenge. It worried Raoul somewhat that he had this need to hurt Christine. His mother would be ashamed of him. Henri told him a gentleman would have counted his blessings to be over his infatuation with the woman and moved on with his life. There were plenty of beautiful willing women out in the world. At this point Raoul condemned his gentlemanly ideas to the devil and the thought of intimacy with another woman made him almost wish to be an eunuch. He was almost to that level of disillusionment but not quite.
Having taken a leisurely bath he went into the garden to find Meg. She was like a ray of sunshine even when the sky was overcast with the blackest clouds. So many times in the last months he had wished he had fallen in love with Meg. Despite his attraction to her he valued her friendship more than anything. Her soft voice soothed him even when nothing else could. Her friendship was worth more than any physical gratification.
First he went to the kitchen to request a breakfast tray be prepared for him to take to the garden. After sweet talking Ella she gave in. His confession and apology of a past misdeed won her over. Ella filled a tray with jam and scones fresh from the oven. She added tea along with a bowl of sugar and cream. Napkins along with plates and silverware completed the tray. Raoul never made his servants feel as if he ordered them to do anything. He made it seem more like a request. He had the respect of all his servants even those who shamelessly gossiped about the master and mistress of the house.
Waving aside Ella's offer to carry the tray Raoul made his way to the garden. It was chilly but the sun was shining brightly.
He found Meg in the garden reading a book. She was wrapped in a woven light blue shawl. She looked so much at peace he hated to intrude. Her pregnancy was not noticeable yet. She still had her slim dancer's figure. Her skin had taken on a healthy glow in the last few weeks. Meg was not cursed with morning sickness. Raoul had heard from some of his friends who had wives that it could be devastating for some women. Lasting long into the pregnancy. Meg's condition seemed to agree with her. She got more beautiful with each passing day.
Coming alongside her he set the tray down on the table between them. He poured Meg a cup of tea adding two spoonfuls of sugar no milk. She thanked him shyly. At times she was shy with him at others she was open and bold like no other woman he knew.
"Good morning Meg. I hope you have not eaten yet. I asked Ella to prepare this tray for us. There is tea and fresh baked bread with strawberry jam and freshly churned butter. The jam was made just last week. I seem to remember you helping and ending with a large portion on your apron as well as your face."
"I could not help sampling a little. How was I to know the lid of the jar was was not tightened? If it had not been on the shelf I would have noticed it was halfway opened. I wonder how it had gotten loosened. We made sure they all sealed tightly before putting them on the shelf to cool."
"Well I can not resist telling the truth to such a beautiful woman. I might have opened the jar and taken a small taste. If Ella had not come back in the kitchen I would have had time to close the lid tighter. It is all her fault really."
"I find your judgment to be faulty. How could Ella hold any blame in your mischievous act?"
"I am her employer what I say goes. Oh, Meg do not look so disapproving. I was teasing. I spoke with Ella and confessed my guilt. She forgave me hence her willingness to prepare a tray for us to enjoy for our breakfast. If you ever commit a breach of etiquette in the kitchen I know the boss and can put in a good word for you."
"Thank you Monsieur. You are too kind but it is not my etiquette we should worry about. In case you were wondering I knew who the culprit was. I did get my revenge though."
"Oh, how is that Little Meg?" His arms were folded across his chest as he sat back in his chair. He had a smug masculine look plastered across his face which quickly gave way to shocked embarrassment when she explained.
"Well do you recall a couple of nights ago when the towels in your bathroom mysteriously went missing? You thought we had all retired for the night and went to the hall linen closet to retrieve more? I knew I could count on your chivalry. You would not wake a servant to wait on you when you could do the task perfectly well yourself."
He wondered if he were really that boringly predictable. "Yes I remember it all too well. I was hoping your memory would have faded a little."
"How could I forget the sight of you with your robe flapping around you? And you Raoul, with not a stitch on underneath, with all your manly charms on display for everyone to see? We did enjoy the entertainment. You are the topic most discussed when we are in the kitchen having our daily hen parties. I bet you wished you had taken the time to tie your robe properly. A woman does not forget such a magnificent sight Monsieur de Chagny especially since I was the culprit who took your towels. Did it not seem odd that all the women of your household were suddenly in the hall at the same time for no other reason than to catch a glimpse of your manly chest? Your face was priceless. You turned several shades of red. If I may be so bold I will confirm that all the feminine members of this household agree you have nothing to be ashamed about. You have impressed them all with shall we say more than adequate equipment in certain areas?"
"Mademoiselle you shock me greatly. You little vixen. You have single handedly destroyed any dignity I may have had. How am I to preserve my stern lord of the manor after something like that? I have not been able to look anyone in the eye for the last few days. You are a trouble maker little Meg Giry. I should have known something was amiss when suddenly the hall was filled with females all giggling. So I guess we are even then. I thought we had settled the issue of you addressing me as Monsieur de Chagny. It sounds too much like my father. I am Raoul. Truce?" He handed her a scone with jam. She took the offering with a wide grin. He had never noticed her cheeks had dimples before. She really was a charming young woman. He thought again it was a damn shame he had not fallen for her charms instead of Christine's.
"Truce, Raoul." Looking over at him shyly yet with just a hint of devilish impishness she continued, "You really do have a magnificent chest though as well as other redeeming features. I am too much of a lady to be more specific than that. You should hear what some of the younger maids say about you. You think me bold well you should hear them. I blush at half of what they say."
Leaning forward with a playful grin spreading across his face his interest peaked he said teasingly, “Do tell. I simply adore having my ego stroked."
"Not for all the tea in China. I would not want your head to swell so big you could not fit through the door. Besides, I have been conversing with you in a less than acceptable fashion as it is. You do tend to make me relax Raoul. If I have not said it before I will say it now. You are a wonderful person. Not everyone would be as generous to someone in my position. Many would show me the outside of the front door."
"Meg how many times must I tell you that you are family? If not by blood then by the care and love you and Christine shared as you were raised by Madame Giry. Pardon me I keep forgetting Madame Mercer. Christine is thrilled to have you here." The lie almost choked Raoul as it went from his vocal chords and past his lips.
"Raoul we both know that is not the whole truth. Christine and I once shared almost every detail of our lives. Well except for one certain area. When you brought me here Christine was at first like her old self but the past few weeks a change has come over her. It is similar to how she behaved when Erik, her Angel of Music used to give her lessons. Regardless of what everyone thinks I am not so naïve that I do not know what is going on in this house. Christine spends every night she is home in her own bed as do you. If you do not wish for the whole of Paris to know you should take care to hide this fact from the servants. Some are not as discreet as they should be. There are nasty rumors of infidelity. Not only ones committed by you but by Christine as well. Please forgive me if I speak of things that are private. I just wish things were different. I hate what has happened to you and Christine."
"Meg you may speak to me of any concerns you may have. I truly am sorry for any discomfort we have put you through due to our difficulties. I assure you I no longer have any outside interests. The one I had was over almost as soon as it began. I can not say the same for my dear wife as I do not speak for her. I do love Christine as much as I ever did before. Things have just gotten muddled. We will find our way in time. One way or the other. Let us forget my problems for today and enjoy this wonderful sunshine. It suits you by the way. So have you written to your mother yet?"
"No and I do not intend to until we are out the door on our way to the ship. If I wrote to her now she would be here as soon as travel arrangements could be made. I would be in her home so fast I would not get to see the passing scenery on the way to Italy. This way she can do little to prevent me from leaving. I am looking forward to starting out in a new place. No one will know me. I could even pretend to be a widow. Would that be too wicked of me Raoul?"
"Of course not. It is not your fault this happened to you. People still insist on placing blame on the woman in most instances like this. That is the way it has always been. Times are changing but not quickly enough to help your situation. Decide on the story you wish to tell and I will support whatever you want. No one will question a de Chagny. Once it is seen you have our support nothing will be said. We have influence even in America. Our family has a tobacco plantation somewhere in Virginia. I have never been there but before Phillip died he had stayed there for a couple of months. Perhaps if we have time you might enjoy a tour. Phillip said it was a grand old place with beautiful gardens."
They continued to discuss her options as they ate their breakfast along with drinking their tea. During the meal they spoke of making appointments to dressmakers to order Meg dresses that would be more befitting a woman in her condition. After the meal they walked along the bank of the pond behind the house. Conversation stayed on neutral topics after that.
Knowing Raoul would not discuss the private matter any further she let the matter drop and followed his lead in the topic of discussion. It would seem he had made a doctor's appointment for her to ensure her health before they had to board the ship for America. Something had been troubling Meg other than Christine. She decided the best course of action was to ask what she wished to know.
As they walked along Meg saw a bench ahead just to the side of the path. With her usual skipping steps she approached the bench sitting down. Smiling in Raoul's direction she patted the seat inviting him to join her. Once he was seated she turned to him saying, "Raoul something has been bothering me for quite some time. You have not said anything but I have noticed your father has not come to visit you the whole time I have been here. Is it because I am a fallen woman? Did my being here cause some rift between you?"
"Oh Meg. You worry too much. As for my father he left for England just after Christine and I were married. He packed everything lock, stock and barrel. He was afraid of what was happening in Paris. He knew his servants would not remain loyal. Once trouble broke out he would be on his own. He had seen trouble coming against the aristocracy. He had sold everything he could. Cleaned out all his bank accounts transferring everything to England. We do not see each other often but I have been to London a couple of times."
"I opted to stay in my ancestral home. My servants are very loyal. I would trust them with my life. On a lighter note I would not trust them with anything personal I did not wish to have spread all over France within a days time. Happy?"
"Thank you kindly Monsieur. I am just glad it had nothing to do with my situation. Which is becoming a little noticeable as of the last few weeks" She placed her hand on her stomach which indeed had grown just the tiniest bit. Not really noticeable but she seemed proud of her progress. Given her situation one would surmise she would dread the coming months. Meg seemed to look forward to them.
Meg looked into Raoul's kind honest eyes. Raoul was so thoughtful and kind Meg could not understand how Christine could have fallen out of love with him so quickly. They had seemed to be the perfect couple. Christine always was her own worst enemy. She could never seem to accept happiness. She always expected something to come along and ruin things. Many times it was her own insecurities that eventually drove friends away or she would lose an opportunity for a part due to not having faith that she was good enough. Meg had always tried to make her feel secure but it was hard dealing with Christine's problems and her own teenage troubles as well.
Later Christine had her mysterious teacher who bought her special gifts. Taught her to improve her voice. Erik had done so much for Christine. Only now could Meg see how truly selfish Christine had been. She had to have an inkling as she got older that the Angel of Music as she called him had to be just a man in order to give her the things she longed to have but could not afford on her own. Meg thought Christine had been willing not to look too deeply beyond that she had an angel. To ask too many questions would have destroyed her fantasy. Her dream.
A couple of days later after Christine had returned from her trip Meg came upon her in the dining room having an early breakfast. Christine had not returned until the late hours of last night. Meg and Raoul had already retired for the night.
Looking at Christine she did not look like a happy woman. For all her pursuits outside her marriage she had not found whatever it was she sought.
"Good morning Christine. I am so glad you have returned home. We have hardly had any time to talk lately. Do you mind if I join you?"
Motioning to a chair with her hand Christine spoke softly to Meg, "Please sit here by me. That way we do not have to shout at each other across the table. I have never understood why we have this huge dining table but have no smaller table to enjoy a cozy breakfast. In our next home I must be sure we have a little nook somewhere for the times it is just the three of us."
"Raoul told me that this table has been in his family for generations. He has many fond memories of family meals and conversations while eating a meal with his mother, father and his brother Philippe. During holiday celebrations or family special events his family from all over France would come to share a meal and spend a few days catching up on all the family events. He has spent many holidays with his family gathered around this table."
"Imagine you knowing such personal things about Raoul. It would seem you have had quite intimate conversations with my husband." An unexpected spark of jealousy hit Christine. Why should she be jealous of anything between Raoul and Meg? Her feelings for Raoul were long gone were they not?
"Conversations you would be privy to if you were home more often. Where do you go? Have you not realized how badly you hurt Raoul each time you walk through that front door and leave him without an adequate reason for doing so? Christine you must stop whatever you are doing. The servants are beginning to talk. It won't be long before all of Paris knows you and Raoul are having troubles."
A look of anguish washed over Christine's face. Her face crumpled. Tears began to flow down her face. That she suffered from some anxiety or guilt was apparent. Meg could only imagine how deep her shame ran.
"I can not stop Meg. I wish to God I could. I have tried but in the end the need grips me and I must give in or go crazy. I miss him so much. He had been a part of my life for so long. He was a constant source of love and comfort since the first night I arrived at the opera house. He sang to me. He soothed my fears. Every day I would spend hours with him. I would tell him my foolish little girl dreams and he would listen. Not pretend to listen as others might have but really listen and comment on my little troubles. Nothing was ever too small or too foolish. I need him to be whole." Once she started speaking it was as if a dam had broken down and the water came rushing forward in an unstoppable torrent. Her words were the same as those rushing waters.
Christine did not need to say who it was she spoke of with such yearning. Her one time teacher and tutor occupied a place in her heart and thoughts that should be reserved for her husband. This man, not an angel, this man named Erik.
"Meg I thought I loved Raoul enough. I do love him. Very much. I thought I could be happy with him. I truly did. I have tried so hard. For the most part I have been happy. In the beginning passion burned in both of us. Raoul is so kind and tender. So generous. So loving. I wanted the things he could give me. I miss my Angel. It hurts so badly. I feel as if there is nothing inside of me but an empty void." Christine pressed both her hands to her chest for emphasis.
"I did not want to live my life in the darkness underneath the opera house. I had suspected for the last couple of years that my Angel was becoming more than just my teacher just as I suspected he was not an angel. He would leave me gifts. Oh how I loved those gifts. Given to me and no one else. He told me not to get involved with anyone as it would interfere with my career. Meg I was so selfish and stupid. I enjoyed his attention. I was the only one he came to. The only one he wrote the managers about. I was special to him. I suppose deep in my heart I knew he wanted more from me than just to share music. I knew it but I could not give him up. Was it cruel of me to give him false hope all those years?"
"Yes, Christine you have been unbelievably unkind and cruel. You used a man as fragile as Erik for your own selfish needs. I know you lost both of your parents but I lost my father as well. Maman has been like a mother to you. She spent more of her spare time with you because you grieved so. I did not begrudge you her attentions. I knew she loved me as well. Christine you have to let this man go. Raoul is a wonderful man and I fear you are letting go of something solid and real for a dream. I would hate for you to come to realize too late that you do love Raoul with your whole heart then realize this obsession you have with Erik is only because you are clinging to something from your childhood.
"You now realize Erik was not sent by your father. He was not an angel. He is not even a particularly good man. This is not his fault. Erik has never been shown how to love or care for another. Everything he has ever wanted he has had take. He has had to fight for things we take for granted. His whole life has been one long struggle. Nothing was ever freely given to him other than my mother's affection and help all these years. Maman did mention that Erik knew a man that he respected above anyone. Monsieur Nadir Khan I believe his name was. Erik has done the best he could with what he has been given. I am only stating a reality not passing judgment."
"I do not wish to embarrass you or make you uncomfortable but there are rumors starting to spread from party to party. Every social function we attend someone has some snide comment. They would never say them to Raoul or to you in person but they are all too willing to spread gossip behind your backs. Soon it will be all over Paris. I have defended you whenever I hear such rumors. I would hate to find out I am the fool in this. Raoul hinted that things were not well between the two of you. Now you practically confess your infidelity."
"Oh God. Please tell me Raoul does not know of all that I have done trying to appease my yearning for my Angel. You must believe me at first the encounters were innocent. With each man I would swear it was only companionship. Sometimes that's all it was. Then I felt myself drawn to Michael. We would talk, share a meal, and walk in the park across from his home. As we met more often talking was not enough to assuage my longing for my Angel. Each time I met with Michael I would tell myself it was the last time. To my shame I was not strong enough to stay away. I miss my Angel so much. It is almost a physical pain. Michael is the only thing that brings me temporary peace. I know I should feel some guilt but all I feel is cheated every time I have to go to someone other than my Angel. I should have been given the chance to find out how I felt about him.
Everything was decided too quickly. I was so confused and frightened. My Angel's temper frightened me so much I was afraid to stay with him as much as I wanted to."
Meg noticed that Christine never referred to her teacher and benefactor as anything other than Angel. Could it be Christine did not know the man's name? Surely that was impossible.
"Christine can you not at least humanize him and call him by his Christian name?" Seeing Christine's blank expression Meg continued in an awed voice, "You do not know his name. You care so much for him yet you never asked for a name. His name is Erik. He is a person not an angel. Just an ordinary man who makes mistakes as others do and has the same needs. A man who feels extreme pain in the careless hands of others. Well perhaps extraordinary better describes Erik. He is far from ordinary.
"As for how much Raoul knows you would have to ask him. We do not discuss your relationship or lack thereof in any great detail other than what I deduced on my own and heard in gossip. He wishes to keep your relationship as private as he can. Not since our first conversation have we spoke of anything concerning your shared lives. What I know I have garnered from the servants gossiping amongst themselves. They are all too willing to discuss your business and speculate. They discuss your private affairs incessantly although they are less than discrete where they hold these discussions. Nor are they particularly quiet in their speculating on your marital status."
"I hate to think of what would be said of me if we were not leaving before I start to show more than I already do. Anyone within listening distance may hear in great detail how the master and mistress do not share intimacies any longer. Who would know better if you share a bed or not with your husband? You do not even make pretence of sharing anything intimate with Raoul. I have heard he had a mistress for a short time. It only lasted about a month. Are you aware that he seeks the comfort of women elsewhere? Do you care?"
"Of course I care if my husband seeks the bed of others. He is no more guilty than I. How can I hold him at fault when I continue to seek affection from others? While I seek comfort in the bed of another? I try to resist going outside our marriage but something pulls at me. Some need Raoul can not meet. I fear I am in search of my Angel in the bed of other men will not stop until I have found him again.. I tried to imagine Raoul was my Angel but I felt so shamed afterwards. Am I crazy to not feel the guilt over sharing myself with others but have such remorse for thinking of my Angel when sharing intimacy with Raoul? Is it shameful of me not to want or care to know the name of my teacher and protector of so many years? Even after the first night he took me to his underground home and I took the mask from his face I did not care that he was just a man. The only thing that upset me was that my childhood dreams were shattered. It did not occur to me to even ask if he had a name. To me he was always just The Angel of Music. My Angel sent to me by my father. My comfort in the dark lonely hours of the night. He has always been and always will be mine and mine alone."
"Did you ever seek to comfort Erik in his dark tormented life? I can see by the look of guilt that you had not. Poor man. You took so much from him yet gave nothing in return. It would have been a greater kindness if you had left him when you saw him as a man. If you had explained to him your true feelings perhaps you could have salvaged your close bond. I think he loved you enough to let you go with Raoul without any animosity if you had reassured him you would not have left him alone. My dear Christine, did you not see that you were being cruel not only to Erik but to Raoul as well? Both men love you with an intensity I have never seen or experienced. I can only hope if I find such a love I am kinder in my treatment toward the one who wishes to receive my love."
"I do feel shame but I still want both of them. I have love for both men. Do I feel more for one than the other I do not know. Perhaps right now I feel more for Ang… for Erik because I know how hurt he is. I know he is alone. He needs me more than Raoul ever did. Through my selfish needs I damaged my Angel. I wish I had done things differently but we are stuck with this reality. I have to make amends Meg. I have to let him know I care. That I always cared even though I was too much of a coward at the time to admit it I did love him. I need to find him. Meg I have to follow him. I have to find him if only to make sure he is alright. I have a detective who is tracking my Angel for me or rather Erik. He only reports on Erik’s whereabouts. Anything intimate he said should not be reviewed by a woman. What does he mean by intimate? My Angel would never be with anyone intimately. He loves me. Wants only me. I need him Meg. I need him so much."
"Christine is that why you were seeking to go to England last year? Now you have an urgent need to be in America. Please tell me I am wrong when I think your desire to go to these places were spurred by the fact that Erik was in England and now resides in America."
Raoul had told her as much but she could not believe it until she received admission from Christine. Only then would she truly accept Christine could do such things. The silence condemned Meg's sister and friend. Her bowed head a silent admission of her guilt.
"Oh Christine did you learn nothing from Erik's mistake? Can you not see only heart ache and destruction are on the path you have set for yourself? Speak with Raoul. He is not an unreasonable man. Please try to salvage your marriage before it is too late.
Christine no matter what you feel for Erik or think you feel it is not anything based on what love should be. Nothing in your relationship with Erik was normal. Please think before you take an irrevocable step. Please." Meg felt her words fell on deaf ears. Christine had become as obsessed with Erik as he had once been with her.
Christine's shoulders began to shake as her sobs grew louder. Even though Meg abhorred Christine's treatment of the two men she was still Meg's beloved sister. Wrapping her arms around Christine she cooed to her as if she were a little girl in need of comfort. Meg hummed a comforting lullaby her mother used to sing to them at night before they went to sleep. Only when Christine quieted and calmed did she stop. Giving her an affectionate hug Meg told her to run upstairs and wash her face before Raoul came in from the stables. Dinner would be in a few minutes and she did not want to face her husband with red swollen eyes.
Meg prayed for all of them to come away from this mess their lives had become with their hearts in one piece. So much needless damage had been done. Damage inflicted by those who were supposed to love with their whole heart. Meg had thought Raoul and Christine the perfect fairytale ending. Now it was some twisted horrible waking nightmare. It shook her faith in ever finding love. If they could not keep their love what chance had she to even find someone? Was she to be forever alone? The thought of never sharing the sort of love two people who care about each other shared made her want to cry. She did not. Giry women did not cry. Well only occasionally did they allow themselves to give into such an emotion.
Where would this all end? Meg cared for both Christine and Raoul. She wanted to comfort both when they needed it. How could she help them? Meg felt so helpless to do anything. She had not done such a good job of taking care of herself how could she hope to help anyone else?
Meg knew nothing she did would change anything. All she could do was wait and see what happened. She could only stand by waiting to give comfort or advice when needed. That is all she could do for the moment. Tomorrow was another day. A day of possibilities.
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