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Destiny Awaits	By : Lollydolly Category: Twilight Series > Het > Bella/Jasper Views: 19535 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 19
- 20
- 21
An: Thanks for all the reviews, I love you guys! Next chapter will take a little longer to come up than usual as I’ve got another busy week.
Credit for a huge chunk of this chapter goes to cutthecrepe and firstsong1 (whose story Delivered you MUST go and read right now on FF.net) thanks guys!
And, as always, huge thanks to my wonderful beta ladyofkeegan, for making this chapter at least twice as good as it would have been without her.
Chapter Twenty
I was so glad I hadn’t picked out Jasper’s name for Secret Santa. Half a second after I’d suggested the idea to Carlisle, I’d realised it was a mistake. I’d never be able to find a gift good enough for him, without making it blatantly obvious how I felt about him. When I’d opened my scrap of paper and seen Emmett’s name, the relief I felt was immediate and intense.
At the time, I was still reeling from not one, but two ridiculously dizzying moments with Jasper. My first flash of giddiness came when he’d whispered ‘You’ll have to make it up to me’. The sexy way he said it had filled my head with delicious visions of what he could mean. Of course, not a single one of them involved wearing clothes. I squashed down my desires as fast as I could, but I was sure he’d noticed this time. He’d stayed in the doorway looking blank and I’d run off to the living room before I slipped up again. Then, when he put his hands on my hips, and lifted me up to put the star on the tree I’d almost died. Even brushing my shoulder against his sent a shiver through me. I swear any more contact than that and it became a battle to control myself.
Nevertheless, I couldn’t not touch him. I just couldn’t stay away. I’d spend the rest of my life in his lap if he’d let me and I was starting to get the feeling that he would. Sometimes, he looked at me the way I was sure I was looking at him. Every so often, he’d say little things that could mean more than they seemed to. I was even starting to think that he might be flirting with me, but I was always quick to remember that it was probably just his way. After all, Emmett was a constant flirt, and he never meant anything by it.
Jasper consumed my every waking thought, and probably, my sleeping thoughts too. I knew that by now I must have sleep talked about him, and he must have heard. Thankfully, I also knew that I talked about everything from toast to parrots hopefully he would simply dismiss anything I said.
I hated the fact that he could feel my emotions, and I wondered if people projected feelings while they slept. If they did, I was surprised Jasper hadn’t teased me about some of the dreams I’d had recently. My personal favourite so far, had started innocently enough. I’d been showering in our bathroom, washing my hair, when a cold hand had brushed along the heated skin of my back. As the feelings from my dream started to overtake me again, I shook my head to clear my thoughts. The problem with this dream especially was how vivid it had been. I already knew exactly what it felt like to have Jaspers cold skin against mine just after a shower and it felt good, far too good to be allowed.
Every time I drifted out of a Jasper daydream, I felt guilty. He deserved to know how I felt, even if it meant he kept his distance for a while. However, a part of me knew that he wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t leave me, no matter what. Even if he never loved me the way I loved him, he definitely did love me in some way. He told me once when he thought I was asleep, but I heard the whispered words, and I’d been treasuring them for the past month.
As I drove out to Port Angeles to meet with Rosalie to do our Christmas shopping, I realised I’d finally talked myself into telling him. All I had to do was pick a time. My body buzzed with nerves. I was really going to tell him. I’d just have to spit it out, and let him decide what he wanted to do with the information. I could finally get things out in the open and stop trying to hide everything from him. Of course if he didn’t feel the same way, I’d live, because he’d still be my friend. I wouldn’t lose him.
As I pulled into a parking spot, I started thinking about the ways I could tell Jasper my feelings. Rosalie was at my side before I even got out of my car. Rose gave me a questioning look but said nothing. I followed her into a computer game store and as soon as we were alone Rose started questioning me. “What’s the matter? You look like something huge has happened.”
I scowled. How I’d managed to hide something so big from Jasper for this long was beyond me. The only thing I can figure out is that Jasper is clueless because I was still an open book. “Nothing’s happened……..yet.” I whispered. “I’ve decided I’m going to tell him.”
“You are?” She beamed at me. “That's great. When are you going to tell him? What are you going to say?”
I rolled my eyes and turned away to pick up some games for Emmett. “I don’t know when, I was thinking Christmas Eve would be nice, and I’m just going to tell him exactly how I feel.”
She nearly squashed me as she pulled me into a hug. “I’m so happy for you!” She gushed.
I wriggled out of her grip before the need to breathe got desperate. “Don’t be happy for me yet. He might tell me he thinks of me like a little sister.” I shuddered at the thought.
Now it was Rose’s turn to roll her eyes. “I’ve told you forty seven times that he feels the same. I don’t know why you refuse to believe me. I’ve known him for sixty years, and I’ve spent most of them pretending to be his twin sister. I know Jasper, and I know what I’m talking about.”
I wouldn’t and couldn’t allow myself to believe her, because if I did, and she was wrong, it would hurt so much more. I was thankful that she let it drop when I started looking through the games again.
“Did you get Emmett?” She laughed, and I realised we hadn’t told each other who we were buying for yet.
“Yep, who did you get?”
She smiled slyly at me and pulled a scrap of paper out of her pocket. She had Jasper. I was stupidly jealous for a moment, before I remembered I hadn’t wanted to get him.
“What are you going to get him?” I asked, finally deciding on a few games that looked suitably bloody and farfetched for Emmett’s taste.
“Games.” She grabbed a handful without even checking what they were. “Books and maybe some new clothes.”
I ended up doing pretty well out of that one shop. On the counter, there had been a few DVD’s and I’d spotted Brother Bear, which Rose assured me Emmett had never seen. I’d also managed to buy a Powerpuff Girls key chain without Rosalie seeing it.
“Would you do me a favour Bella?” Rosalie asked me as we left the last store we needed. I agreed immediately. “If Emmett got me, I want you to hint to him, actually, forget hints just tell him, that I want that dress we saw earlier.” I grinned. I wondered if Emmett had bought her bad presents in the past, I could easily imagine him buying things at random and hoping she’d like them. It was quite sweet really.
True to her word, Rose had bought Jasper an armful of new clothes that I’d helped pick out. Remembering how good he’d looked in the one at Angela's party, I’d grabbed some nice tight t-shirts Rosalie had given me a horribly knowing smirk that I’d done my best to ignore. I’d also helped her picking out books, as she had no idea what Jasper already had, and knew I spent a lot of time in his study. It was nice helping her. I felt like we’d really become more than friends now, we were truly sisters.
Shopping with Rose was a very different experience for shopping with Alice. I was actually allowed to chose things for myself and voice opinions without being scowled at for my choices. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Alice, and I was beginning to forgive her for the way she’d treated Jasper, but I preferred Rosalie's more relaxed attitude. It was also good to be able to have little arguments without being told I was going to give in anyway.
We went back to our cars and parted ways. I’d be seeing her again tomorrow anyway.
Back at home, I set out Emmett’s gifts on the bed. It was a good haul. Rose had told me she was impressed at how well I knew her husband. As well as the games and DVD, I’d bought him Twister and a remote control car from a toyshop. Then I’d found a t-shirt which showed a man fighting a bear and said ‘extreme hunting’ on the front. I was particularly proud of the shirt, and I was positive he’d love it. I’d also bought him a huge box of the brandy chocolates he liked, though I didn’t think he’d actually eat them this time.
As I’d bought far too much wrapping paper, I decided to be cruel and wrap each of Emmett’s presents several times. I wondered if he’d be patient enough to keep unwrapping or if he’d just tear the whole thing apart. I was betting on the latter.
Charlie's presents were already wrapped up and waiting to go. I’d bought him some new fishing gear that I was positive he would love. Last Wednesday, I’d gone down to La Push after school to ask Billy for advice. He hadn’t been back to our house since he and Jake had come over for dinner, and I’d wanted to smooth things over between us. He’d been a little gruff with me at first, but he’d ended up apologising for his behaviour, which had really surprised me. He’d even agreed that perhaps the Cullen's weren’t entirely bad, but he’d made me promise to call him immediately if they ever got out of hand.
My conversation with Billy just made me even more curious about the wolves. I was dying to see one but Billy had told me that I’d only ever see them if I was in danger. I was determined to see them at some point, but he wouldn’t even tell me who they were. I’d formed a pretty good idea on my own though. As I was leaving, three of the largest men I’d ever seen had walked into Billy’s house as if they owned the place. They’d ignored me entirely until the tallest drew level with me as his head had snapped towards me while he’d sniffed harshly.
“This is Bella Swan,” Billy had said sternly, “Charlie's daughter.”
I got the impression that Billy was warning them off. Could they smell vampires? The taller man nodded, no trace of emotion on his face, but one of the men next to him snarled quietly. He’d looked a bit put out when I hadn’t even flinched. I was used to growls, and to be fair, I could do a scarier growl than he just had. They’d wandered away into the kitchen after that and I’d left, a little disappointed that they hadn’t been friendlier. I really wanted to see what they looked like as wolves.
After I had finished all my gift-wrapping and was bored so even though it was earlier than I usually called Jasper, I decided I wanted to talk to him.
“Bella.” He answered. The warmth in his voice sent a corresponding heat straight through me. “Did you have fun in Port Angeles?”
“Yes, I got some great stuff for Emmett. Who did you pick out?” None of us were supposed to know who each other was buying for, but that had fallen apart as Rosalie and I had cracked already.
There was silence on the other end of the line. “Jasper? Are you still there?”
I heard him clearing his throat. “I’m still here. I got you.”
A nervous thrill ran through me. “You did?” I felt myself smiling.
“I did.” I heard him sigh. “I bought you something today.”
The thought of him buying me presents was strange. It was usually something I hated, but right now, I felt hugely pleased about it. “Did you stick to the rules?” I asked, I really wanted to know what he’d got for me.
“I did.” He laughed. “Although I thought one of the rules was that this was all supposed to be secret.”
“Well, that rule wasn’t important.” I rolled my eyes and then remembered he couldn’t see me. This was probably a good thing as I was wearing one of his shirts, and he might think that was a bit odd. “Are you going to tell me what you bought?”
He laughed again. “You’ll have to wait and see, there’s only a week to go.”
“Fine,” I pouted. “Then I won’t tell you what Rosalie bought for you.”
“Rosalie’s buying my presents?” He moaned. “I dread to think what she chose.”
“Hey! I helped pick out your things. You’d better like them.”
“If you chose them, I’m sure I’ll love them.” He whispered something else I couldn’t make out but the way he spoke with his whispered breath made me freeze. I think I actually moaned a little but before I was able to question myself, I heard him drop the phone and scramble after it. “Sorry.” Did a vampire just drop the phone? I needed to change the subject and save going over his responses for later.
“I want to get Carlisle and Esme something.”
“You’re the one that decided we should only get presents for one person each.” He sounded relieved for some reason. “What did you want to get for them?”
“But getting something for mom and dad is different than the Secret Santa. I was thinking about painting something for them, we could do it together, you’re much better than me.”
I imagined Jasper standing behind me, guiding my hand across a canvass as I leaned back against his muscled chest. His other hand wrapped around my waist, sliding down over my stomach. My breath hitched in my throat and I gasped.
“Bella? Are you ok? Your heart’s beating pretty fast.”
I swallowed hard and internally cursed myself. Thank goodness, he wasn’t here with me now. “I’m just excited about Christmas. It’s our first Christmas together.” I laughed feebly as I realized what I said. “As a family, I mean.”
“What do you think about the painting?”
“I don’t know.” He muttered. “Esme prefers photographs.”
“She’s got hundreds of photographs, besides, your paintings are better than photos.”
“They are not.” He laughed. “All vampires can draw; it’s just observation and a steady hand. Still, they aren’t quite as good as photographs.”
I was just about to pout when he said, “It’s the anniversary of their first wedding just after the new year, why don’t we save it until then?”
“Fine,” I looked up at the huge picture on my wall. A photograph wouldn’t have captured everything so perfectly. “Your pictures are so full of life far better than photos.”
“You think so?” He sounded so unsure of himself. It made me wish he was with me so I could hug him, and so he could feel my sincerity.
“I know so. I’d rather have something you’d drawn for me than a photo.”
I heard his breath hitch half a second after I’d spoken. Did he like what I’d said? Or did he think I was weird? Why didn’t he respond? I decided I needed to get off the phone so I could analyse the conversation in peace.
“Um, well, I’d better go. Goodnight Jasper, love you.” I purposely kept my voice light so he wouldn’t read anything into my words. I still wanted to tell him how I felt, but not over the phone. Did I just say love you? Maybe he didn’t hear me or wasn’t paying attention.
It took him a few seconds to answer. “Love you too, goodnight.” He said love you too, did he mean it like I love you, marry me? Or like I love you little sis?
I hung up and stretched out on the bed. This little after-phone-call session had become a regular thing. Every Wednesday and Thursday I spent at least half an hour going over his responses, sometimes I even called Rosalie for help when I could be sure Jasper wouldn’t overhear our conversation.
Tonight was... promising. He’d said he’d love anything I chose. I felt the same way, he could give me anything, and just the fact that it came from him would make it a perfect gift. But after he’d said it, he’d sounded a little off, like it had just slipped out. Was that because he didn’t mean it, or because he’d realised how it sounded to me? And when I’d talked about his art, he hadn’t answered me. Was that because he liked what I’d said? Saying that I preferred his drawings was similar to what he’d said about his gifts.
It was so difficult to work out what some of the things he said meant. He was my best friend, and in any other situation, the person I’d ask for advice. It drove me mad that I couldn’t ask him what he thought about the situation. I could just see how that would go.
Well, I’d have his take on things soon enough.
I got in bed and curled up with Emmett Jr, who had become my substitute Jasper. I stared up at his picture on the wall as I tried to go to sleep, and that night, for the first time, I dreamt that Jasper loved me too.
__________________________________
Emmett
“For the last time, I am not dressing up as Santa!” I growled at Carlisle. He and Esme had been going on about it all morning. Carlisle thought it would be a great idea to give out gifts to the sick children at the hospital. I was all for doing that, as long as it wasn’t me giving out the gifts. “Why can’t you be Santa?”
“I’ve explained this three times now.” He played the part of exasperated-dad far too well in my opinion. “The children see me every day. I can’t be Santa because they’ll recognise me.”
I shook my head and looked away from them. It wasn’t fair. They were ganging up on me. Rosie sauntered over, swaying her hips and sat down straddling my lap. “Please baby? For me?” She pouted, wriggling her hips.
I shook my head again and tried to think about anything but the way she felt in my lap. This was definitely not fair! She was totally cheating.
“Please Emmy,” she whispered, her lips touching my ear. “Bella and I were so looking forward to being your hot little helpers.” I felt my resolve weakening. When she started describing just how short the outfit she’d be wearing was, I cracked.
“Fine, I’ll do it!” I pulled her in for a kiss then she got off my knee and went to join Esme in the kitchen, leaving me speechless. I really had to learn to say no to that woman. Carlisle made sure to laugh at me before he left the room. Jerk. I started plotting a way to get Rosie to come and help me rearrange the woods.
My phone rang, and I both cursed and welcomed the distraction. It was Alice. She never called with good news anymore.
“Put your plans on hold for a while lover boy.” She laughed. “Something’s come up.”
Well whatever it was, she didn’t sound worried. “What’s up Ali-kins?” I realised I hadn’t spoken to her at all since she’d left. I missed the little pixie.
“Put me on speaker phone and rally the troops, I need all of you.” She ordered.
“Jasper and Bella are in town and Edward’s in Alaska.” I told her, and then shouted the others into the living room.
“I know that Em, you idiot.” She sounded annoyed. I winced as the rest of the family joined me around the coffee table. I put the phone on speaker and set it down.
“Is there trouble?” Rosalie asked. She was still angry with Alice for leaving, despite the fact that her visions had saved Bella’s life twice since then, and Jasper was doing much better.
“Yes there’s trouble.” Alice growled. “What are you all playing at?”
The four of us stared at each other. What had we done? After a few seconds had passed, I noticed everyone was eyeing me with suspicion, as if I was the one doing something wrong.
The cell phone sighed. “Emmett, why have you decided you can keep secrets all of a sudden? Why haven’t you told Rosalie what Jasper told you?” I winced again as Rose growled at me.
“Thanks Alice.” I tried smiling innocently, before I remembered that didn’t work on my wife, and never had. “Jasper’s in love with Bella.” I gave in and told her.
“Is that it?” Esme groaned. “I’ve known that for ages.”
Alice spoke up again. “Now Rose, tell them what Bella told you.”
“She loves Jasper.” Rose grinned.
This time Esme actually shrieked, it was painful. “I told you Carlisle!”
“So everyone knows they’re in love with each other, but them.” Alice stated. “And every single day, for two whole months, without fail, at least one of them has decided to tell the other, or to ask them on a date, or to kiss them. It’s driving me absolutely nuts! I can’t take another bloody vision of them so happy, followed by another one with them messing around and chickening out again.”
She was speaking so fast that even with my super vampire hearing, I had trouble understanding half what she said, but I got the gist of it.
“Wait a minute.” Rose snapped. “Bella’s going to tell him on Christmas Eve, Alice.”
“No, Bella was going to tell him, but she’s chickened out. Again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At first, I didn’t mind, because Jasper was going to tell her, but he’s changed his mind too. Something has to be done about them before I lose my mind. We’ve already seen that telling them there’s nothing to worry about because they have feelings for each other doesn’t work. Neither of them thinks they’ve got much of a chance. It’s down to you four.” I’d never heard Alice sound so irritated in all the time I’d known her. It was pretty scary.
“What can we do?” Esme asked. “I’ve tried everything to get them together, and nothing has worked so far.”
Alice started laughing. “I’ve seen your plans Esme, and quite frankly, I’m appalled. You do realise that both Jasper and Bella know exactly what you’re up to right?”
Esme had the grace to look ashamed for about half a second. I grinned remembering the salt debacle again.
“I say we just lock them in a closet.” I suggested. That would be fun.
Rosalie slapped the back of my head, I hate that everyone does that to me. Either they really like my hair and want an excuse to touch it, or they’re all trying to kill me. “A locked door isn’t going to keep Jasper anywhere.” She pointed out. So my plan had flaws, it was still better than anything anyone else could come up with.
“Wait, wait, and wait.” Alice whispered. I guessed she was having a vision. “That could work. You’re going to the hospital in a few days. The outfits are perfect by the way, Rose; just get some red and white stripped stockings. So...”
I stopped listening after she mentioned the stockings. I loved stockings, and Rose in stockings was just... edible. Maybe I could convince her to hop in a closet with me. Hospital sex!!!! With stockings!!!!!!!!!!! Mmm...
“Emmett!” The phone shouted, spoiling my fantasy. “Pay attention! You know Rose will never agree so give it up. Now, there’s a closet on the fourth floor small enough that they’ll have to get really close, and the door’s too sturdy for a human to break. There’s a security camera outside, which means Jasper won’t be able to break the door down without exposing himself as a vampire, so they’ll have to wait for you to let them out.”
She trailed off again, and I took a glance at Rose, hoping she’d somehow missed Alice telling me off. No such luck, she was glaring at me. I hate this family; they’re always getting me into trouble.
“Oh it’s perfect.” Alice laughed. “It will take them exactly two hours, eleven minutes and thirty three seconds to crack. Emmett you are brilliant!”
I puffed out my chest, and tried to remember why I was brilliant. Oh yeah, this was my idea. Oh crap, did shoving them in a closest count as a prank? “Wait, I’m not taking the blame for this.” I said quickly. “Me and Bells have a deal, someone else has to lock them in.”
Alice snickered quietly, and I gathered she knew about our deal. I prayed she’d keep it to herself.
“Everything will be fine. Jasper will be too busy ogling Bella in the elf costume to notice Carlisle shoving him before it’s too late, and instead of getting out of the closet, he’ll have to catch Bella when Rose pushes her in. Then Esme will close the door, and the rest will fix itself.”
Now I thought about it, I wasn’t too sure I liked the idea of stuffing my little sister in a closet with a man, especially not in the outfit Rosie had described.
“Emmett Cullen don’t you dare!” Alice screamed. I hadn’t even decided to do anything yet, and now everyone was glaring at me.
“But-” I tried to explain, but as usual, I was overruled.
“No buts! Bella is an adult, and if she thought you were trying to keep her away from Jasper, she would find a way to beat you to death. I’m not kidding!” Alice growled. I pouted.
“Fine, but if he tries anything I’m going to hit him.”
Alice giggled. “Bella’s just as bad as he is, possibly worse. Six months of frustration from Edward plus two months fantasising about Jasper... well, I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.”
I scowled at the floor and ignored the others laughter. I’d give them exactly two hours and fifteen minutes, and then I was letting them out.
__________________________
Jasper
I hadn’t laughed like this in... well... ever. Bella and Rose had forced Emmett into an elaborate Santa costume, complete with wig and beard, stuffed him full of pillows and padding to make him fat, and now he had one of them on each knee, putting blusher on his cheeks. The weirdest thing was, he was just sitting there, taking it as if he had no other choice but to let them work.
I’d somehow let Bella talk me into wearing a sweater with a Christmas tree on it, and Emmett had laughed and called me whipped. This was priceless. And I was going to get pictures, even if he took my head off for it later.
I’d only come upstairs because I’d heard Bella giggling, and I was so glad I had. I’d been sitting on the bed for the last half an hour, shaking with laughter until I couldn’t sit up while they turned Emmett into a perfect Saint Nick. He’d only tried to protest once, when Bella got the makeup out, but Rosalie had silenced him with a single whispered word. Stockings. I tried not to think about what that meant.
“Right Santa, go practice your ‘ho ho ho’s while we get changed.” Bella laughed, getting up so I could see the full effect of Emmet’s costume. “You too, Jasper.”
I frowned. “What’s wrong with what you’re wearing?” She looked lovely enough in her jeans; then again, I thought she looked lovely in anything. I’d probably want her if she were wearing a paper bag.
Rosalie grabbed me and Emmett and shoved us out into the hallway. “We’re Santa’s little helpers, now shoo!”
I followed Emmett down the stairs, confused. The only Santa’s little helper I knew, was the dog from the Simpsons and I couldn’t see why they’d want to look like that, or how they’d manage it.
“What are they wearing?” I asked Emmett as he scowled at himself in the mirror.
He turned back to me, grinning, projecting a frightening amount of lust. “Rosie said they’re going to be my hot little helpers and they have these really short little dresses, and stockings, Jasper. Stripy stockings...” His lust increased as his eyes glazed over.
I pictured Bella in a tiny dress and stockings. Someone out there was trying to kill me. I’d be lucky if I could keep my hands off her, I was sure I wouldn’t be able to take my eyes off her that would be a lost cause. My only hope was that Rose had lied to Emmett to get him to play Santa.
Half an hour of waiting impatiently for the girls to come down and I found out that Rose had been telling the truth. And my imagination hadn’t done Bella justice. It was the costume party all over again, only worse. She was wearing dark green pumps over red and white striped stockings that clung to her lovely legs up to mid thigh. Her dress, if you could even call it that, started a few inches above the tops of the stockings, revealing a few tantalising inches of skin below the ragged hem. The dress was the same colour as the pumps, low cut and skintight.
I thought they were supposed to be giving out presents to children. I assumed Rose had chosen these outfits; there was no way Bella would have picked them. I was aware that my mouth was hanging open and that if I didn’t look away soon, things would become uncomfortable, but I couldn’t help it. Emmett’s lust really wasn’t helping matters at all.
Without any warning, his desire was cut off by anger, protectiveness and a little fear. I snapped out of my daydream and found him glaring at me.
“Bella!” he growled. “Go and put some clothes on.”
“I’m wearing clothes Emmett.” The goddess said patiently, I noticed she had something on her skin that made her look like she was glowing a little.
“But not enough. Rosalie, take her back upstairs and make her get dressed.” He whined. I couldn’t understand his reaction at all, and I was quickly losing my hold on concentration as I stared at Bella again.
“Emmett, we talked about this. Bella is wearing the same thing as me, and she’s keeping it on.” Rose didn’t sound pleased. I was hugely thankful that Bella was too busy looking at Emmett to notice the way I was looking at her.
“No, no, no!” Emmett shouted. “My little sister is not going out in public wearing that!”
Bella got a little angry. “As sweet as that is Emmett, I’m not actually a little girl, and I can wear what I want.” She glared at him. “Like Rose said, we’re wearing the same thing, and you aren’t trying to make her get changed!”
“But Rosie won’t be in- I mean, well, she knows how to handle herself, and you- and men and- hands” He spluttered, and then kicked me hard in the shin. I would have been annoyed if he hadn’t timed it so perfectly. Bella looked at me just as I tore my gaze away from her.
“Emmett, I’m not sure what you’re trying to say, you might want to try using sentences and speaking English,” Bella said, still looking at me. For the first time, a little embarrassment and self-consciousness coloured her emotions.
“I don’t think he’s sure what he’s trying to say.” Rose said, still glaring at her husband. “Perhaps you should let it go, honey.”
We left the house, Emmett still grumbling under his breath. “Two hours, my ass. He won’t last two minutes. I’m waiting outside.” I heard him mutter. I got the distinct impression I was being left out of something.
The ride to the hospital was difficult. Bella sat in the back of the jeep with me, and the skirt of her dress rose another two inches when she was sitting down. I almost bit through my lip in an effort to distract myself. I was actually looking forward to the temptation of blood in the hospital, the burn might keep me occupied enough to remain a gentleman. I had been a little worried about how I’d cope, though my control had improved hugely over the last three months, I had never been around a large amount of blood. I’d never set foot in the hospital before, knowing I’d slip. All my nervousness had disappeared the moment Bella had stepped into my line of sight. I was willing to bet that if the world’s most delicious blood was spilled in front of me right now, I’d walk past it to get to Bella instead. She was irresistible. There was no way that I’d be able to control myself around her all day. I prayed that Carlisle would separate us for some reason so I didn’t end up making a fool of myself, or making her uncomfortable.
Emmett kept shooting me dirty looks through the rear-view mirror. I didn’t doubt that he knew exactly where my mind was wandering, but I didn’t understand why it bothered him. A few months ago, he’d been telling me I should just sleep with Bella to get her out of my system, and now he was looking at me as if I was some sort of pervert. I glared right back at him.
Carlisle and Esme were waiting for us in the reception area, each holding a sack of presents. Carlisle had gone into his happy little boy mode again, but there was something mischievous underneath the joy. Esme was almost shaking with anticipation, and she was far happier than the situation called for. Something was definitely going on.
“Um... you all look... nice.” Carlisle muttered as we joined them. I felt his faint disapproval of the girls’ costumes, but he was used to his ‘daughters’ dressing this way after so many decades of it, and he’d learnt early on not to say anything about it. His happiness quickly got rid of his less fun emotions.
The scent of blood was thick in the air, and I realised it was affecting me more than I’d expected. I took a deep breath, hoping to get used to the scent out here before we went deeper into the hospital and the smell got stronger. My throat was on fire, but I wanted to stay here, with Bella, more than I wanted to sate the thirst, so I kept hold of my control. As if she knew what was going on in my head, Bella stepped closer, the back of her hand brushed mine, inviting me to take it. I ignored everything else around me, but her hand in mine, holding it tight. Her presence relaxed me, and her scent, instead of adding to the burn, seemed to ease it. It was as if even whatever monster there was inside me knew how much I needed her.
The others were worried; I could feel it, but Bella, always so confident and trusting, wasn’t worried at all. She was happy, nervous and loving, and I fed off the love until I was completely sure I posed no threat. There was a collective sigh of relief when I smiled to let them know I’d be ok. For a moment, I was angry that they had believed, even for a moment that I was incapable of controlling myself. Then I remembered that if I’d come here three months ago, I would have been unable to control myself. I picked through what they were feeling now, to make sure that they trusted me, and was overwhelmed by the pride Carlisle was feeling. He was looking at me in the same way he used to look at Edward.
To tell the truth, I’d always been a little jealous of the bond they shared. Edward was Carlisle's ‘first born’ son. As such, he was more trusted, and more respected I think, than the rest of us. Thinking about it now, he ran the family more than Carlisle did. For the sake of fitting in, we pretended we were all the adopted children of Carlisle and Esme, but behind closed doors, it was Alice and Edward that made the big decisions. Their gifts gave them an advantage over the rest of us. If Alice told us we needed to move, we moved. If Edward said someone was suspicious, we believed him. It was useful, but also frustrating. I never got the chance to test myself, or truly become used to humans, because I was pulled out of any potentially dangerous situation immediately. Since the two of them had been gone we’d all grown closer to each other, and things had been more relaxed. We didn’t need Edward to listen in and see if people were suspicious, because we already knew they weren’t. Some of the humans from school had even started talking to us, and I was sure it was because we were acting more like teenagers without Edward’s restraint. Carlisle and Esme had stepped back into the role they should have had, they were more like real parents now, and I found I actually liked it. I knew Edward would come back eventually, an event I wasn’t looking forward to, but the family knew they could cope without him now, so when he did come back, he’d have to get used to being ignored. I think Esme was the only one that really wanted him to come back anyway.
Then there was Alice. I wasn’t sure what to think about her returning. It wasn’t that I was worried that seeing her would upset me. I wasn’t even bothered by the thought of seeing her with a new mate. My concern was that I didn’t know what sort of relationship we would be able to have. I was still mad at her for leaving me without an explanation. After sixty years, surely, I deserved that much. I wasn’t looking forward to her visions being a part of my life again. I liked letting the future arrive at its own pace, rather than being told what’s about to happen all the time, and then being expected to make sure it does happen. Her visions were useful, that was undeniable, without them I’d have lost Bella, I just wished she’d keep the little things to herself. No one needed to know that they’d lose a game or that the clothes they’d decide to wear tomorrow would look wrong. With Alice and Edward around, we weren’t even allowed to think about making a mistake.
Life was more normal without them.
While I’d been busy ogling Bella, squashing my bloodlust and thinking about my absent siblings, we’d made our way up to the third floor, and were outside the first ward.
The emotions up here were difficult to deal with. Confusion seemed most prevalent among the young patients, but their parents were swamped in sadness and worry. Bella let go of my hand to walk into the room with Emmett and Rose.
The children were instantly ecstatic, and even the adults cheered up a little. I realised why Carlisle had been so eager for us to do this.
I stood back with Esme, watching the others. Emmett sat in a chair at one end of the room, with Rosalie helping him give out gifts to the children who came to talk to him. Bella went around with Carlisle to talk to the children who couldn’t leave their beds. I fell in love with her a little bit more as I watched her making a little boy laugh by pulling faces, and hugging a little girl with a rash.
Something tugged the leg of my pants. Standing beside me was a little girl, who I thought was probably about four, grinning up at me. With curly brown hair and pale skin, she looked like a mini Bella.
“Hey mister, are you ok?” She whispered, tugging on my leg again. I looked around for help. The child was adorable, but I didn’t know what to do with her. Everyone was busy, Esme had wandered off as soon as she’d realised this was another opportunity to mother people. I looked down at the child again; she was staring up at me with huge brown eyes. I squatted down next to her, as that seemed polite. I tried a non-threatening smile.
“I said are you ok?” She repeated. “What’s your name?”
“I’m fine thank you. My name’s Jasper.” I held out my hand for her to shake. “What’s yours?”
She looked at my hand suspiciously, and then pushed it out of the way. “You’re silly. I’m Lilliana Elizabeth Grey.” Before I could stop her, she stood up on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around my neck in a hug. Hugging her back was automatic. She was so light and frail that I was afraid I might crush her, but she can’t have been as weak as I thought, as her grip on my neck was like iron. While I was holding her, I felt an enormous wave of love hit me. At first, I thought it was coming from the little girl, but when I glanced up, I saw Bella sitting on the edge of a bed, gazing at me like I was the whole world.
The emotions coming from her were so strong I had to look away and focus on the child again to avoid falling over.
“I like your hair.” The little girl piped up, tugging on a piece of it. “It’s pretty.”
I hadn’t had any experience with children before, and I was surprised at how much I liked her. I wondered if all children were this accepting, or if she was special. I pulled one of her curls gently and watched it bounce back up. “You’re hair’s lovely too.” I didn’t know what else to say to her. I heard Emmett asking one of the other children what they wanted for Christmas, and decided that seemed like a safe topic of conversation. “What do you want for Christmas?”
She went from happy to disappointed, in about half a second. I worried I’d gotten it wrong, maybe some children didn’t like Christmas.
“I did want a Barbie dream house, but mommy says that costs too much money.” She pouted. I instantly decided that she was going to get a Barbie dream house, whatever that was.
“Really? See Santa over there?” I pointed out Emmett, and her face lit up, but I could tell she was too shy to go over and talk to him. “Well he’s my friend, and if I tell him what a nice little girl you are, I’m sure he’ll be able to get one for you.”
She got excited and started bouncing up and down, and stopped and frowned at me. “I’m a big girl.” She said firmly. “Not a little girl.”
“OK.” I chuckled to myself. “Why don’t you go and talk to my friend Bella over there while I make a call to the elves at the North Pole. They’ll need to know what to make for you.” I silently thanked Bella for making me watch Christmas movies with her.
I slipped out of the room and went to Carlisle’s office to use his computer. The house was easy to find, but it I was baffled by all the different things you could buy to go with it. How was I supposed to know which things you needed to put in it? After ten minutes of mounting frustration, and a new hatred of the colour pink, I gave up and called the nearest toys r us. Once I handed over my credit card details, they were falling over themselves to help. I explained that I wanted the house, and whatever they thought should go with it shipped to the hospital tomorrow, which was Christmas Eve. They even agreed to gift-wrap everything. I only wished I’d get to see her face when she opened it all.
By the time, I got back to the family they’d moved on to a different ward and I was disappointed that I wouldn’t get to see my little friend again.
“Where did you go?” Bella asked as soon as she saw me.
“I had to make a call.” I grinned, enjoying my little secret.
“Oh my God, you got her the Barbie dream house didn’t you?” She whispered, beaming at me. “She told me you were going to tell Santa to get it for her. And she sent you this.” She reached up and kissed my cheek, then flounced off to play with the children again, leaving me stunned.
I spent the next hour Bella-watching; it was my new favourite hobby. She caught me at least four times, but she always smiled when I expected her to glare.
Carlisle stopped us in the corridor on the fourth floor to explain that we were going into a burns ward.
I wasn’t listening, Bella was pulling on the top of one of her stockings, and it was very distracting. The next thing I knew I was hitting the back wall of a tiny supply closet. I figured Emmett had seen me looking at Bella and shoved me in here, but Carlisle was the one by the door, smirking at me. As I straightened up and tried to get out, Rosalie pushed Bella towards me, and as I caught her, Esme closed the door on us.
For a few seconds, we simply stood trying to adjust to our new surroundings. I could hear the family laughing outside the door and the muffled protests of Emmett as they walked away from us. Was this what they’d all been so excited about? I couldn’t understand the point of it.
I realised I was still holding Bella, which was a problem. I tried to concentrate on her heartbeat, instead of how thin her dress was between us. It was difficult though, as no matter how I tried, there always seemed to be a part of my mind focusing on how she looked, or smelled, or felt. Bella sighed and pulled herself away from me to stand up on her own, there was still only about an inch between us. It was too much space, and not enough all at the same time.
“How long do you think they’ll leave us in here?” Bella groaned. She pushed my back until I sat down on a crate, and perched on my knee. I had to take a minute to collect myself before I answered.
“I have no idea. Carlisle at least, can be trusted to remember you have human needs, so it shouldn’t be too long.”
The first hour passed in relative silence, and if only Bella would stop wriggling, I’d be fine. If she scooted back another inch, she’d know exactly what was going through my mind right now. And that was not the way I wanted her to find out I had feelings for her. In fact, it was possibly the worst possible way it could happen. She wriggled again, and I grabbed her hips to keep her still. Her warm hands covered mine, her thumbs brushing against mine. I was almost sure that I could feel some lust coming from her, but it was difficult to tell when I was so full of my own. I tried to focus more on what she was feeling; only getting a few rapid flickers. Love, lust, nerves, excitement, shame, disappointment, lust again.
I started to worry I was projecting my own emotions on her without noticing.
Bella took my hands and moved them slowly down from her hips, to the bare skin of her thighs, laying them palm down and keeping her hands over them. What the hell was she doing? My thumbs swept once across the soft heated skin, they had minds of their own. I couldn’t stop them. Her heart sped up. I shifted as my jeans tightened even further. My thumbs resumed their lazy sweeps. Her breathing hitched. My eyes followed the curve of her neck as she tilted her head. I needed to touch more of her. My hands slipped a few millimetres higher. She stopped breathing.
I wished I knew what was going on in her head. Did she want what I wanted? I had to ask, I had to be sure.
________________________________________
Bella
“What are you thinking?” Jasper asked.
“I love you.” I blurted without thinking and tensed waiting for his answer. I supposed it was better than telling him what else I was thinking, which was something along the lines of ‘I want to rip your clothes off’.
“I know.” He chuckled almost sadly, his hands stilling. “I love you too.”
My spirits sank, knowing he hadn’t meant it in the same way. Couldn’t he tell how I felt? I was suddenly sick of it all. “No. I mean I love you. I’m in love with you! You must know. How could you not. I am so in love with you and I think I always have been. I’m so sick of wondering how you feel, and if you know.” Every word seemed to make me lighter; I couldn’t believe I was finally getting it out. “Can’t you feel how much I want you? How much I love you?”
He didn’t speak or move for a full minute and I felt like I was dying. When he finally responded his voice was quiet and husky. “Say it again.” He whispered.
“I... I love you.”
Without warning, I was crushed against the closet door and his lips were on mine. I poured every feeling I’d bottled up for the last two months into the kiss. My hands tangled in his hair as I fought to get as close to him as possible. A wave of lust slammed into me making me shudder. As his hands cupped my ass and he lifted me, my legs wrapped around his waist of their own volition. I could feel exactly how much he wanted me. It made me shiver.
I’d never been kissed like this before. He pulled back allowing me to breathe and rested his forehead against mine. “Bella,” He breathed.
I felt like I was on fire, and pushed my lips against his again. This was everything I wanted and I couldn’t believe it was finally happening. That he might feel for me what I felt for him was mind boggling, and his body against mine stopped me from thinking clearly enough to process it.
And then the door was no longer against my back. Jasper stumbled forward a step, his hands gripping my thighs to keep hold of me, and we were standing in the corridor of the hospital surrounded by four grinning faces.
“Finally!” Emmett crowed. I was so surprised I didn’t even blush. And Jasper didn’t let me go. My heart swelled.
I was surprised to find that the rest of the world was still here. I’d forgotten there was anything other than Jasper.
“I’m... so... happy... for you.” Esme sobbed.
I released my legs and slid down Jaspers body as his arms wrapped around my waist to keep me close. I was never going to be able to let go of him. I was absolutely, positively sure of it. We may as well have been welded together. I looked up at him for the first time and found him staring back down at me, his eyes dark, full of lust and love. Something in my stomach throbbed in response. We moved together, meeting in the middle to kiss again. I’d never get enough of the taste of him, of the feel of him. Every kiss was like a first kiss, and at the same time, it felt as if I’d always been here with him, as if we’d practised these kisses a thousand times before. I moaned into his mouth reaching up to wrap my arms around his neck.
Carlisle cleared his throat behind us, and the blush that had been waiting to make an appearance since we’d tumbled out of the closet finally made its self-known. My cheeks burned furiously, and I hid my face against Jasper’s cool neck for a second before I turned to face my family.
“Perhaps you’d like to go home, I’m sure we can manage without you.” Carlisle chuckled.
“Oh no, I don’t think they can be trusted to be alone.” Emmett boomed. “Look at how they’re behaving in a hospital full of people.” He sounded like Charlie. I wanted to hit him.
Rosalie did it for me. “Shut up.” She growled at him. “It’s taken them long enough, they deserve some privacy.”
I smiled at her gratefully, and she returned it with a look that screamed of an interrogation later.
“Fine, I’ll come with you to supervise.” Emmett offered.
“Don’t you dare” Jasper warned, holding me tighter. “What would the children think if Santa disappeared?”
Esme, still sobbing, pulled both of us into a hug then winked. “We’ll be home late.” She promised conspiratorially.

_______________

An: I am positively dying to know what you think of their first kiss. Did it live up to your expectations? Are you surprised/pleased/disappointed about how it happened? Let me know x
P.S. Please don't eat your hair Rose :)
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Destiny Awaits