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Life Choices	By : JessieMundaiFan Category: M through R > The Outsiders Views: 1891 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: The Outsiders is owned by S.E. Hinton I own nothing. I make no profit on this fanfic

Chapter List
- 20
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Disclaimer: The Outsiders is owned by S.E. Hinton I own nothing.
…
(General POV)
"What do you mean you're moving back to your old room," Sodapop gritted out.
Ponyboy looked to Steve to his brother in confusion.
"It means that I'm moving back into my old room," Ponyboy repeated.
Sodapop raised an eyebrow at his little brother. For a brief moment he looked to be deep in thought before quickly bringing his attention back to Ponyboy.
"You can't just move back into your old room Ponyboy," Sodapop told him as if it was fact, "your just not ready yet."
"What's that supposed to mean," Ponyboy narrowed his eyes in outrage.
Sodapop held out his hands in defense.
"It just that with the nightmares and your fear of loneliness," Sodapop explained, "you can't just move back into your old room on the spot."
Fear of loneliness? Where did that come from, Ponyboy asked himself.
"I haven't had a nightmare in weeks," Ponyboy reassured his brother, "and I don't know where you got that I have a fear of loneliness but I definitely don't."
Sodapop flinched at that response. What exactly he flinched at, Ponyboy had no idea. All he knew that this conversation was getting a little weird.
"I don't think you're too sure about those nightmares," Sodapop told him.
"And you would know that how," Ponyboy raised an eyebrow at him.
Steve sighed tiredly as the two brothers' conversation escalating.
"Because you didn't tell anyone that you were moving," Soda told his brother smugly.
"I told Darry," Ponyboy announced.
"Darry," Sodapop repeated in outrage, "why would you tell Darry and not me about this?"
"I didn't think you'd care," Ponyboy shrugged.
"Didn't think I'd care," Soda growled, "why wouldn't I care about you suddenly fucking everything up?"
Both Steve and Ponyboy's eyebrows rose at that. Neither had ever heard him use that kind of tone with either of his brothers before.
"How exactly am I messing everything up by growing up," Ponyboy demanded.
"You're not ready yet Ponyboy," Soda told him angrily, "you're too young to grow up."
"That doesn't make any sense," Ponyboy cried, "how can be I too young to grow up."
Suddenly, a thought struck Ponyboy.
"You don't want me to grow up," Ponyboy realized, "you just want me to stay a little kid forever."
"Pony, that's not what I'm…"
"Yes it is," Ponyboy shouted, "you're just being overprotective again, it's really annoying Sodapop!"
Sodapop moved closer to his brother so that they were face to face. Steve prepared himself in case things really got ugly. He didn't think they would, but that was why he was here.
"Well excuse me for wanting to look after my little brother," Soda raged, "excuse me for wanting to make sure you safe, and excuse me for worry about you all the time!"
"It's not that I don't want you looking after me," Ponyboy explained, "but a little space would be appreciated once in a while."
"You want space fine," Sodapop threw up his hands, "you'll have all the space you need from now on."
"Fine," Ponyboy yelled stomping out of the living room and into his own room.
"Fine," Sodapop yelled back going to his room as well.
Two loud slams of both brothers' doors could be heard echoing around the house.
Steve took one last gulp of his beer before setting it down quietly.
"Well," Steve spoke, "that could have been worse."
…
(Ponyboy's POV)
That next morning had been both peaceful and saddening for me. It was peaceful because I had a great night's sleep. I was happy to be in my old room and sleeping easily again. It made me feel like I gained back apart of myself that I lost when my parents died.
The saddening part came from the argument I had with my brother last night, of course. I just couldn't understand why my brother couldn't handle that I was growing up. Why did Sodapop want to keep me in this protective bubble all the time? I just couldn't understand his point of view.
Just to make matters even worse, I still didn't tell my brothers about the drugs I found.
I rubbed my head in frustration. I wonder that conversation's going to go.
With a sigh, Ponyboy got up and went to the bathroom to fix himself up for school.
Unfortunately, on his way into the bathroom I ran smack into Sodapop. Both of us jumped back in shock. The two of us couldn't think of anything to say to each other so we opted to look at the ground.
"Sorry," I mumbled, "you can go on in. I'll wait."
"No, I still have to find my DX shirt," Sodapop denied chuckling awkwardly.
As my brother went back into his room, I finally looked up and got a good look at him. He looked really ill. It looked like he didn't get any sleep at all last night.
That's really strange, I thought to myself as I entered the bathroom. Soda always gets a good night's sleep no matter what. Could it be because of our argument or something else?
It didn't take me long to get myself situated and ready for school. As went into the living room I decided to just wait for Two-Bit to come and pick me up instead of eating breakfast. I didn't feel all that hungry right now.
"Ponyboy," Darry called out from the dinner table, "come eat breakfast."
"No thanks," I shook my head at him, "I'm not hungry."
"Why," Darry raised an eyebrow at him critically.
"No reason," I lied shrugging my shoulders.
"Pony don't lie to me," Darry gave me a stern look, "the only time you don't eat is when you're worried about something. Now, what is your worried about."
I shuffled my feet nervously. I was never good at hiding things for long.
Thankfully, Sodapop came walked in the room at that moment. Grabbing an apple of the table, he quickly made his way out to the door.
"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute," Darry demanded stopping Soda in his tracks.
Sodapop turned around and looked at our older brother apprehensively.
"Sit down," Darry gestured to the seat beside him, "you can't go to work on an empty stomach."
"No thanks," Sodapop waved him off slowly moving out the door, "I'm not that hungry."
"Hold it," Darry ordered sternly. Hearing the tone in his voice, Sodapop stopped again.
Narrowing his eyes, Darry looked at myself and Sodapop.
"What is going on with you two," Darry pointed to both of us.
I rubbed my eyes tiredly.
"Neither of you are eating, neither of you are speaking, what is going on," Darry asked strictly.
Both of us looked as each other briefly before turning away.
"Well," Darry demanded louder.
Luckily for me, Two-Bit had just pulled up in the drive way honking his horn loudly.
"Come on Pony we're going to be late," Two-Bit shouted.
I looked at Darry hesitantly.
Darry sighed in annoyance before he waved me off.
"Go on," Darry gave Soda and I a stern look, "but we will be talking about this tonight."
Grabbing my stuff, I hurried out the door and into Two-Bit's car.
"Finally," Two-Bit rolled his eyes at me, "I've been waiting out here for three hours."
"It's been like a minute," I told him.
"Same thing," he grinned. Backing up out of the drive way, he revved up the engine, squealed his tires, and started driving toward our school.
"Since when do you care about being late," I asked him.
"I don't," he shrugged, "but I really don't feel like hearing my teachers bitching this early in the morning."
I chuckled and nodded in agreement.
"Steve told me about the little…spat you had with your brother," Two-Bit announced quietly, "Soda I mean."
"Oh," I looked down at my feet awkwardly, "what else did he say?"
I hope Steve didn't say anything else. I wouldn't appreciate, and I don't think Sodapop would either, him telling people our personally business (even if Two-Bit is like family).
"That's it," Two-Bit reassured me, "the fact that you two had an fight is shocking enough."
"Yeah I know," I replied meekly.
"Was it anything huge," Two-Bit asked.
"I don't think so," I responded, "but it could be."
Two-Bit rubbed his chin.
"What happened with you two this morning," he asked randomly.
I looked up at him in confusion but answered the question regardless.
"We met each other going to the bathroom and he let me go in first. We didn't really saying else to each other besides that."
Two-Bit nodded calmly.
"So let me get this straight, you talked to each other, there was no glaring, and there was no hateful words," Two-Bit grinned at his young friend, "Ponyboy you and your brother are fine."
"But…"
"You two are fine," Two-Bit repeated with emphasis, "trust me."
"How would you know," I questioned.
Two raised an eyebrow at me.
"You forget I had a sister? We fight all the time. Hell, we could ignore each other for weeks without talking to each other before making up."
"Yeah but Soda and I have never fought before," I replied softly.
"Y'all were due for a fight," Two-Bit claimed, "I'm actually surprised you two went this long without having one. You too are around each other so much I knew one of you was going to explode one day."
"So," I said slowly, "you're saying that this fight will elucidate itself in time."
"Elucidate," Two-Bit looked at me like I was crazy.
"Another word for resolve," I explained with a chuckle.
"Why didn't you just say resolve," Two-Bit pouted, "don't be using those big words on me and making me feel stupid."
I rolled my eyes at him.
"But yeah, everything will turn out fine," Two-Bit grinned, "something will happen to you and big brother Sodapop will come stampeding over to help."
"Gee thanks," I said mildly.
"No problem little Pones," Two-Bit shook my shoulder gently.
"Everything will be fine. Don't worry about anything."
…
(Sodapop's POV)
"Geez, did everyone crash there car today," I said to myself whipping off my sweaty forehead as I continued to work on the car I was currently under.
Today was a rough day today. Damaged cars had been coming in non-stop for the past six hours. And we're not talking about cars that have a few missing parts or in need of a checkup, we're talking about cars that are so bad that it's a miracle that some of them are drivable.
It didn't help that I got zero sleep last night. That nightmare I had about Ponyboy dying in the car crash with mom and dad came up again. The gang seemed to have forgot that Ponyboy was supposed to go with mom and dad on their drive but said no because he had extra homework to do. The realization that Ponyboy could have been in that car with my parents still haunts me to this day.
I never told Ponyboy about the dreams. I didn't want him to think of me as some kind of wimp or something. I know he looks up to me, he seems me as a role model, and what kind of image would I be giving myself if I admitted to having nightmares every night. Luckily, I found out that having Ponyboy around stops the nightmares from coming, I guess holding him in my arms unconsciously reassures my mind that he is okay.
Shaking my head, I tried to get my mind off of my little brother. He probably can't stand me right now anyway. I just need something to distract me.
I want some chocolate, I whined to myself. I really need a pick me up and chocolate is just the thing for me.
I let out a big grin.
"When I get home I'm gonna see Ponyboy wants some…"
I stopped as I realized where I was going.
"Ponyboy and I aren't talking to each other", I reminded myself.
I guess I'll have to get use to that (as wrong as it sounded).
"Hello," I heard my best friend yell loudly, "anybody here?"
"Stop yelling," I yelled back jokingly, "you know I'm here."
I rolled out from underneath the car I was working on to greet my buddy.
"School's over already," I asked him.
"No shit," he told me, "it's three o'clock."
It is? I looked over at the clock on the wall and saw that it was indeed three. Time flies when you're working I guess.
"Whatcha got," I pointed to the bag in his hand.
"Pick me up," Steve grinned and tossed me the bag.
I grinned back at him. This is exactly why he's my best friend.
Opening the bag, I found a couple of bars of chocolate inside.
"Awesome," I cried ripping open the wrappers and tearing into the chocolaty goodness.
"Oh, these have a caramel filling! You know would like these?"
"Who," Steve asked he got ready to work.
"Pon…
…yboy," I finished to myself.
"Never mind," I replied quietly wrapping up the rest of the chocolate, "we should get to work on these cars. It's a mad house in here."
"I can see," Steve nodded looking around the garage. Not wasting any time he quickly got to working on some cars as well.
"So, what do you want to do after this," Steve asked from under his car.
"I don't know," I shrugged. "I haven't been to the movies in a while. Maybe we could go see a flick."
"I heard Paul Newman had a new one out," Steve informed me.
"Paul Newman," I smiled, "that's Ponyboy's….favorite…actor."
The smiled dropped from my face as I realized where I was going again.
I groaned. Ignoring my little brother is hard! I've never done it before.
My buddy slid from underneath his car and gave me a critical look.
"What," I asked.
"You know," he started, "I never got why you were always so protective of the kid."
"What kid," I wondered innocently.
Maybe if I play stupid he'll drop the subject. Judging from the look on his face I'm guessing the answers no.
"I keep telling you Steve that it's just a big brother thing," I answered.
Steve furrowed his brow at me.
"No it isn't," Steve denied, "Darry doesn't act that way with you."
I couldn't hold in my laughter at those words.
Darry is superman in every sense of the name. He's strong, brave, and very protective of the people around him. Darry treats me just like Ponyboy but his protective nature is a tiny bit reduced because I'm older. He's always looking after me and worrying about me all the time. He's still pissed off at me for dropping out of school and limiting my career options.
"Oh, yes he is," I reassured him with confidence, "you just don't see it."
Steve gave me a look of confusion.
Amusedly, I went over to my toolbox to get a new wrench. For some reason the one I was just using broke.
"Family's aren't that complicated Steve," I told him searching in my toolbox, "everyone in the family a place."
As an example I pulled out three wrenches from my toolbox, a big one, a medium size one, and the smallest one I could find.
"Imagine that these three wrenches were brothers," I held them up to him.
Steve raised an eyebrow at me.
"Just go with it," I shrugged.
"Fine," he huffed.
"Okay," I nodded, "these three wrenches are brothers. The two bigger ones have been around the block a couple times. They've repaired a lot of cars and have experience with fixing cars. But this one…"
I pointed to the small one.
"…he doesn't know much about fixing cars. He's new, fresh from the auto repair shop. This little wrench doesn't know much about fixing cars and doesn't really know what his limits are. If this wrench tried to fix the flat part of a tie rod it would snap right in two!"
Steve snorted at my choice of words.
"The two big wrenches," I went back to the big ones, "know this and try to stop the little wrench from happening. It's not just tie rods either, there are whole bunch of things that this little wrench can't handle yet. They also know that there are other tools…"
I pointed to the tool box.
"…that could our little wrench friend here. There are so many things that could hurt the little wrench and it scares the big wrenches because their little brother is so small and innocent. He never does anything to anybody and doesn't deserve to be hurt."
I let a small sniffle.
The little wrench gets bigger and bigger and before you know it he's fixing tie rods just like his older brothers," I chuckled weakly, "it's hard for the bigger wrenches to the think of the smaller wrench as becoming of them, one of the big boys."
"Soda…"
"Sometimes the bigger wrenches don't want to see him like that because it feels like everything is changing," my voice was starting to crack, "it makes the bigger wrenches feel like they're staying same while the little wrench drifts away leaving the bigger wrenches all alone."
"Soda you aren't serious are you," Steve demanded, "that is not what's happening with you and the kid and you know it."
"No I don't," I whispered, "I really don't."
I tossed the wrenches back in the toolbox in frustration.
Suddenly, my mind took me back to one of the most influential moments in my young life.
(Flashback)
I lay on my bed with a sigh. I looked up at my ceiling trying to fight the tears from developing in my eyes.
I just got my report card for this semester. It's safe to say that I probably won't be graduating seventh grade. My teacher thinks I'm dumb, my parents are disappointed, and my older brother is embarrassed for me.
I just feel so worthless right now. It's not like I don't try to study, I just don't understand what I'm studying no matter what I do I just can't understand anything.
Tears slowly started to roll down my cheeks.
"I hate being so stupid," I whispered.
"Soda," I heard a little voice call out to me.
I looked over to see my little brother peaking in my room innocently.
"Why are you crying," Ponyboy asked me softly.
I whipped my tears off my face and turned to my face from my door.
"It's nothing," I reassured him, "don't worry about me."
I didn't want him to see me like this.
"Is it about your grades," Ponyboy asked gently as he walked into my room and sat next to me on the bed.
I chuckled to myself. Ponyboy was such a smart kid. He must have heard mom and dad nagging me about my grades.
"I'm stupid Ponyboy," I declared, "I just can't get anything right in school. And nobody thinks I can do right either."
There was a little moment of silence before he finally replied.
"I think you can."
Stunned I turned around look at my little brother in shock.
"I think you can do anything," Ponyboy gave me a small smile, "your amazing Soda. I always thought you were amazing."
I looked at my little brother with wide eyes.
Nobody had ever told me that I was amazing before. It makes me feel like I'm worth something, like I'm needed for something important.
I moved over and hugged my little brother lightly.
"I love you big brother," Ponyboy told me quietly
"I love you to my precious little brother," I told him tearfully.
(End Flashback)
I rubbed my eyes as I felt them watering up.
I miss my little brother.
…
(Ponyboy's POV)
"Stop moping," Johnny told me as I laid my head on his shoulder. He had his hand wrapped gently around my waist.
We were in the park and I had just told him what happened last night with Sodapop.
"Hm," I snuggled back into his shoulder.
"Come on," Johnny moved me so he could look me in the eye.
"You two are far too close to just too just stop being brothers after one argument," Johnny reassured me gently.
"That's what Two-Bit said," I breathed.
"Two-Bit's right," he nodded. "don't worry about it."
I guess, I thought to myself.
"Let's go find some chocolate," I expressed getting up to go to the nearest store.
"Sure," Johnny nodded following me, "you like the bars with the nuts right?"
I shook my head.
"Chocolate with nuts is Soda's…favorite," I finished awkwardly. I turned back around.
"I'm not hungry anymore," I decided.
"How about we just get something to drink," Johnny recommended, "there's a vending machine right there."
He pointed at the vending next to the shop across the street.
Quickly, we ran over there the vending machine and put a couple quarters in.
"Pepsi," I cried out happily, "I love these."
"Why do you love those so much," Johnny chuckled.
"I don't know," I shrugged, "Soda started drinking them first."
Sodapop…
Everything keeps coming back to him.
I missed my big brother.
"Fighting is no fun," I whimpered.
I heard Johnny sighed from beside me.
"You are absolutely miserable without your older brother," Johnny pointed out. He kissed me on cheek and held me in his arms.
"You need to make up with him soon," he told me gently.
"I know," I moved myself closer to him.
This better not take forever to resolve!
…...
- 20
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- 22
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Life Choices