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In the swirl of passion	By : Lywhn Category: M through R > Peter Pan > Het Views: 35043 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Peter Pan, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 21
- 22
- 23
Chapter 22 – No More Secrets

Heavy clouds still hung over the magical island as morning came. Black turned to dark grey and finally to a pale grey, but that was all. Most of the Neverland colors were missing. The birds sat in their nests to warm and protect their fledglings from the stormy weather; the deer, rabbits foxes and other forest creatures remained deep in the verdure; the fairies escaped into the cavernous trees and tree-stumps; the dwarfs, pixies and snoggurdles sought shelter in their subterranean caves, and the unicorn stood nervously at its fountain, listening carefully to what the wind had to tell.
Out on the water, in Pirate’s Cove, most of the crew and the Lost Boys were still sound asleep. The events of the past evening had demanded its tribute, and now allowed friend and enemy to sleep peacefully, side by side.
Smee was one of the last remaining souls on board still awake. He felt responsible for the crew and their ‘guests’, and not only because he was the boatswain and quartermaster. No, but because he was the oldest of them all, and they trusted him. And, by the way, as long as the captain was unconscious, someone had to take care of the ship. Smee felt his growing fatigue as he walked down the passageway to his quarters to look in on the eternal boy. He had undressed him and put him to bed, cleaned and bandaged the bullet wound, and lit his stove to warm the cabin.
Peter was running a fever, exactly as the old Irishman had anticipated, and outside, it was quite chilly. Sighing, he stepped into his cabin, swore another Gaelic curse when he saw the mess– he wanted to beat on the guy for hours who had done this to his cabin! – and approached his bed where the boy still lay; his fairy-friend laid curled beside his head, asleep as well.
Peter’s handsome face was red and perspiring, but he had stopped tossing, and as Smee felt his forehead, he noticed that the boy’s temperature had gone down. He shook his head, amazed. Peter Pan really was the favorite child of Fortune!
A movement in the edge of the room caught his attention, and he turned, only to find a strange fairy circle through the air. She had long silver-blond hair and wore a white, silk dress that fluttered around her. Smee was sure that he’d never seen her before, but nevertheless, he knew immediately -- she was special. She flew to his face, cocked her head and examined him very closely before she started to smile.
An odd pressure built up behind Smee’s temples and then he heard a soft, beautiful voice in his mind. “The danger is passed. Neverland is safe again. But what has changed can never go back.”
The old Irishman swallowed, and tried to make sense of this new experience. It was the first time he’d ever heard a fairy talking in his language. “W-what do you mean by that?” he asked nervously, and didn’t even notice how hoarse his voice sounded.
The fairy’s smile broadened for a moment. She was clearly amused with the mortal’s uncertainty. “The hearts that found each other,” she said gently. “It has changed Neverland and now the curse has almost reached its end. The chains will break, if they will finish this way.”
“C-chains? What chains?” asked Smee, bewildered.
The magical creature laughed for a second – a sound pure and light as a bell. “There are other chains than these, those forged by human or dwarf hands. These, which are invisible, are stronger than the other ones and only a strong heart can break them.” She pointed at Peter. “He will not understand. He will need someone to explain it to him.” Her wise eyes fell on Smee’s again. “You have the right heart to do it.”
The boatswain jerked back. “Lady, I’m still a pirate and—“
Again her beautiful laughter pealed. “—and a worrier in your own way, Child of Eire.”
Smee stared speechless at her, his mouth standing open. The fairy lightly touched his cheek, so that the boatswain had to squint to see her. “The eternal boy isn’t the only one who will not understand. You will need much patience, otherwise the way will be lost, and a new escalation of hostilities will strengthen the chains anew. It is up to you, dear Mr. Smee, if you will all be free, or if you will all be bound again to this island.”
The old Irishman blinked several times, didn’t understand what she meant. She could read it in his mind as well as on his face. “You will understand when the time comes.” She turned around to Peter. “He needs rest. Take care that he stays in bed.”
“Uh—I’m not a nurse!”
The fairy looked at him again. “In your heart you are! Otherwise you wouldn’t have stayed so long at your friend’s side – even if it wasn’t easy serving him.”
“My friend?” Smee shook his head. “Why do you Little People always speak in riddles?”
“We don’t speak in riddles. You mortals are only too blind and arrogant to realize the truth. Even HE understands that now, when he confirmed his true feelings. But he had to face death to come to his senses and to open his eyes toward others.” She sighed. “Love is always the best teacher – not only for mortals, sometimes for us fairies as well.” The rain outside grew heavier again. “I must return. The weather will be strange the next few days – until the Prince is well again. The boys will have to stay here, but I don’t think that this is a problem for you. Perhaps this will be a good time to learn about the others, and to come to an understanding that there aren’t so many differences between you.”
She flew to the porthole. “Be careful, Child of Eire. I have faith in you to do the right thing.” With that she opened the porthole and vanished into the grey uncertain day.
Smee stared after her until another movement caught his eye. Peter had shifted and murmured in his fever. He winced and it was obvious that he was having a nightmare. Tinker Bell awoke, and was instantly hovering over him, but even her gentle ringing couldn’t calm the tossing boy.
The old boatswain sighed heavily – Why HIM? – and sat at the edge of the bed, cradling the weeping boy in his arms, who wept in his fever. He felt Tink’s big eyes on him and decided to ignore her. It was lucky that the captain wasn’t here this moment. Even if Pan HAD saved him several times last night, Smee didn’t think Hook would be very pleased at this sight …

It was later that afternoon when Wendy finally awoke. She felt as though she’d been beaten, and was at first too groggy to open her eyes, but after a while thirst forced her to free herself from the last shadows of sleep and, yawning widely, she opened her eyes. One look was enough to tell her that James was still asleep and for a long moment she snuggled closer to him, taking care not to touch his chest. Ever so softy she kissed his bare shoulder and took in his familiar scent. After all what had happened it was almost a miracle that he was here beside her and she couldn’t get enough to simply look at him. In spite of her weariness, she felt an overwhelming tenderness for this man, finally lifting her head and touching his cheek gently with her lips.
He felt warm and-- too warm! Alarmed she examined at him. Beneath the dark bruises from Blackbeard, he was pale and his cheeks were flushed, while sweat lay on his brow. His breathing was unsteady and, worried, Wendy touched his fever-hot temple.
Damn! She had hoped that he would come through this without the fever, but of course, the hours down in the dirty bilge without treating hid wounds had done him no good. Even the iodine seemed to have only prevented the worst, but not all signs of infection.
Sighing she stood up – God, was she tired! – and stumbled to the windows, opening two of them to allow fresh air into the room. It was still raining, and reminded her of another concern -- Peter. It was certain the boy was not well, if the weather was like this, so she decided to visit him as soon as she had cared for James again.
She drank a full cup of fresh water, relieved herself in the chamber pot and crossed to her clothes that still lay in the chair. The shirt was torn, bloody and smelled badly, so she took one of Hook’s shirts from his locker. Dressed in the, again, overlarge shirt, she gathered her tools for fighting James’ fever. She returned to the bed, armed with a bowl full of cool water, several cloths, towels, and a pair of his stockings. She drew back the blankets covering him, sat beside him and put one of the damp cloths on his forehead.
His reaction to this was a low grumble, and Wendy felt the first hint of relief. That he felt the cold cloth was the best proof that he wasn’t unconscious, but only deeply asleep. She then gently lifted one of his legs, wrapped another cold cloth around his calf, fixed it with a towel, and put one of the stockings over his foot. She repeated this with the other leg and finally wrapped two more cool cloth around his wrists, she was satisfied that it might bring his fever down. She shook out the blankets and covered him with just a sheet. In a quarter hour, she would repeat this procedure, and then again and again, until his fever was down.
Realizing that she could do no more for him at the moment, she looked around spotted the two parrots, who seemed to glare at her. “Sorry, you two!” she murmured, opening the cage. She was greeted with a low croak. The birds seemed to feel sickness in the room. She refilled the little water dish and crumbled two slices of bread and gave it to them. Wendy fed the two parrots, and had to smile when she saw how tenderly the birds handled each other. “As the master, so the pets,” she whispered.
Returning to James, she changed the leg compresses again, then decided that she could spend some minutes visiting Peter and looking in on the boys. She didn’t want to leave James, but he would sleep a little longer, she was certain, and her guilty conscience urged her to take care of the other ones who were dear to her.
Hastily, she washed herself, then slipped into her clothes and boots and silently left the room by way of the secret passage. The Oriental had told her that Smee had taken the boy into his own cabin, to be sure that he was warm and safe, and so she knew where she would find him. Climbing down the stairs, finally crossing the washhouse and stepping out into the quarterdeck-passage she heard the loud snoring from every corner. The whole ship was asleep, and as she passed one of the quarters, from which an adventurous mixture of snoring, whistling and grunting sounded, she had to giggle, and felt her mood lifting.
At last she reached Smee’s cabin and knocked softly. No answer came and so she simply tried the latch. The door wasn’t locked, and she tiptoed into the room. The old Irishman sat in his wooden rocking chair, hands folded over his belly, his head tilted back, and snoring. A thick plaid laid around him.
In his narrow bunk, Wendy saw the small shape of Peter. The boy had had fever, too, her fingers told her, and he seemed almost lost in the thick bandage around his head lying in this strange bed. Next to his head lay a bruised and sleeping Tinker Bell, curled into a tiny ball with wings.
For the first time, she realized that he truly was a small boy – an innocent boy who seemed to be in his twelfth year. But she knew now that this was far from the truth. No one knew how old Peter was. Time was a strange thing in Neverland, considering that Blackbeard had been here, James was from his time and she was born in the end of the nineteenth century! And that in this boy lived a fierce fighter who had killed was not news to her. He could fly, never aged and spoke the language of fairies, mermaids and other mystical creatures. Even if his appearance was that of a normal outdoor child, she understood now that he wasn’t a normal human being.
Still, a part of her loved him – and would ever do so! – but she understood now the difference between a first crush and a real love for a man. Her feelings for Peter were these of deep friendship and tender affection toward him. She liked his unique way of seeing things, and the true innocence of his heart and soul. His joy and carelessness was almost contagious, and for several days – just after her return to Neverland – she had found a part of her nearly-ended childhood again; until James woke the first feelings of a woman in her.
That had changed her forever. The love she had for James was completely different. It was wild and dark, passionate and all-consuming, fierce and thrilling – but also tender and soft, teasingly and warm. It gave her comfort and security in a way that was completely new to her, yet nevertheless familiar. She knew him by now, much more intimate as she had ever thought possible. And this came not only from their long hours of lovemaking. No. Sometimes she thought she could feel what he felt, and when he looked at her, she could swear she saw his soul, the part of him he had buried so deep inside the savage pirate that he wore on the outside; the part that yearned for freedom and that seemed to crave her like she longed for him.
The contrast between her feelings for Peter and James wasn’t that sizeable, but it was significant. Peter had been the love of her childhood – the kind of innocent love only children could feel – and James was the love of her life – the love a woman could give only one time, and would see her through all difficulties that lay ahead.
And one of these difficulties was snuggled deep into a pillow and blanket directly before her. She knew that Peter could never understand, and would certainly see her choice as betrayal. It would hurt him that she had turned to Hook, and he might even hate her; lashing out in his pain which surely would come. Heavens, her own brothers would be outraged and were going to call her crazy, but she couldn’t change it. She had made her decision. She couldn’t play this game of hide-and-seek anymore, and she was tired of all these pretends and denial. She had almost lost James last night, and it had shown her one thing: their time together was too precious to mar it with her constant fear of what would happen if her friends and brothers would find out about her and James, forcing her to sneak out in the morning from his warm and protective embrace to reach the hideout in time, only to think all day about how she might return in the evening to be with him again and yearning for the evening to come.It was bizarre! This insanity had to stop! The sooner the better. And as soon as Peter was well again, she would talk to him.
With a sigh she sat down on the bed and softly stroked the sandy locks of the boy. He had a slight fever, and she could see the vanishing tracks of tears. He must have had a nightmare, like he had so often before. Deep inside was still the little boy who longed for protection and security, for a mother, like every child, and to know that he had none who could give him this was often mirrored in his nightmares. Seeing the bandage around his head, she hoped he hadn’t much pain when he woke up.
She took a closer look to the scratch at his throat, where James had threatened him with his hook. Yes, the captain really could be fearsome, especially when he was angry. Once again she asked herself what had made him hesitate to kill Peter at first sight. All right, the boy had warned him about what he had heard on the Revenge, but to tell this to Hook, the pirate first had to listen – and she couldn’t recall an time when the both enemies had really listened to each other. Something had made James pause so that Peter had the chance to talk to him – and it must had been something very important, because normally, nothing would have prevented Hook’s slicing Peter’s throat without any hesitation.
”He did it for ye,” came the low voice from the chair and startled Wendy looked up.
Lost in her thoughts she hadn’t recognized that Smee had stopped snoring. “Sorry, what did you say?” she asked uncomprehending.
The old Irishman straightened in the chair and smiled while he nodded in Peter’s direction. “That the cap’n didn’t kill him yesterday. He did it for you, because he knows how much the boy means to you.”
Wendy blushed. “I thought, Peter told him about…?”
“Yeh, the little hellion told him about Blackbeard’s plan, but in earlier times it wouldn’t ‘a’ stopped the cap’n to kill him nonetheless. Now he was even ready to let ‘im go.” Wheezing he stood up, let the plaid slide on the rocking chair and looked warmly through his spectacles at the young girl before him. “You’ve changed him, Missy, and not just a little. He starts to be like the man again I come to know afore we came to Neverland.” He grinned. “Almost, ‘cause in earlier times, he only thought of his ship, but now the only thing he seems to think of is
you. And I dare say, you couldn’t get him out of your pretty head as well, seeing how much you risked to save him.”
The girl blushed and lowered her gaze. “I love him,” she whispered, almost too quietly to be understood.
Smee nodded. “Aye. T’is obvious. And he is deep in love with you, too. Otherwise he would have never challenged Blackbeard to a duel, risking his life, his ship and his men.” He took a deep breath. “I hope your love’ll be strong enough to overcome the problems ahead of you.”
Wendy lifted her head. “You mean Peter?”
“Yes. And your brother. I believe, John is his name. He watched you out on deck, as Cecco brought the cap’n aboard. He saw everything – especially your worry and … well, your tender proof of affection for the cap’n.”
Shocked Wendy looked at him. “John saw me… kissing James?” she asked with a high voice. The boatswain made an affirmative gesture. With a moan she closed her eyes and let her head hang. “So much for my decision to tell him the whole thing in my own way. He must be--”
“Outraged? He didn’t take it well, to say the least. You were lucky that the other boys didn’t see it, but your brother is definitely angry with you.”
Wendy bit her lips. “I have to talk to him. He has to understand that--”
“--that you’re in love with someone who once tried to kill you all?” Smee sighed. “Not an easy thing, I dare say.”
“Where is he?”
“I gave him and your friends a cabin where they could rest. They don’t want to leave without their leader, and Pan has to stay in bed. That’s for sure.”
Wendy’s attention was drawn back to Peter. “How bad is he? Considering the weather, he isn’t well.”
“The bullet grazed his temple and he lost some blood. I managed to stop it, but he has a high fever now as well. But I think, since one of his fairy-friends was here to nurse him, he isn’t so bad any more.”
Wendy frowned and looked at the fairy asleep beside Peter’s head. “Tink did--?
“Who? That little pain in the neck over there? No. It was another one. Very beautiful with long silvery hair and-- “
“It was the -queen,” the girl interrupted, recognizing this description immediately.
Smee paled. “WHO was it?”
“The fairy-queen. She helped James and me before, when I had to get back to the hideout in time, and when Blackbeard came and James wanted me away in safety. She even gave me a small bag with her fairy-dust.”
The Irishman whistled. “Can you believe that! The fairy-queen herself! No wonder I could understand her.” He rubbed his eyes under his spectacles. “Do ye want to see your friends? I think, they are still asleep, but--”
“Thank you. It would be very nice if you could show me where they are. And then I have to return to James. He has fever as well.”
Worried the old man looked at her, forehead crinkled. “Bad?”
At this anew show of loyalty and care, Wendy had to smile. “Not so bad anymore. I gave him leg-compresses, and I have to change them in again. I think I will get it down by the evening.”
Smee’s eyes twinkled at her. “You really do care for him, eh?”
Wendy simply nodded, stroked once again through Peter’s hair, and followed Smee down the passage, finally reaching the common room where several blankets lay on the floor – with sleeping boys upon them – and several hammocks hung between the struts, where other boys slept, too.
Smee nodded to a longer buddle on the floor, which turned out to be Slightly. “He was really fine help for us. Bandaged and doctored a lot of the crew and didn’t stop until everyone was cared for.”
Wendy lowered her head. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to help you as well. But after Sky, the Oriental and I had take care of James I was suddenly--”
“—completely exhausted? I know.” He looked warmly at her. “What you have done for us couldn’t be bought with gold, ‘cause without your interference, we’d all be dead by now.”
Wendy smiled shyly. “What is about the man Peter and I knocked out with the Laudanum. Do we have prisoners?”
Smee hesitated a moment. “The man is in the brig. Mason found him at the hatch to the bilge, bounded like a package.” He bit his lips. “I don’t know what the captain has in mind for him. Maybe he will make him walk the plank – or he offered him the same choice Blackbeard gave us. It would be the better form.”
“Any more prisoners?”
The Irishman shook his head. “No. We only found 10 dead enemies around the ship and two very bad injured one, which didn’t make it.”
Wendy paled. So many lives thrown away! “Did we lose any men?” she asked quietly, almost afraid to hear the answer.
Her use of the word ‘we’ was not lost on the man. “No, only lost four men. Which ain’t many, considering the size of the battle. Teach has the higher lost; this is certain.”
“Still--” she murmured. “Four lives from our crew lost. I am sorry. You must have known them for a long time.”
“Aye,” Smee confirmed, repressing a smile by her anew mention of ‘our crew’. “But we pirates are living with the mortal threat every day. You get used to anything. Even to this.”
Wendy leaned against the doorframe. “I don’t think that you’re honestly used to this. Otherwise you all wouldn’t have fought the way you did.” She took a deep breath. “What will happen to the corps?”
“We will give them a seaman’s funeral tomorrow or the day after. I think the cap’n would want to be present as well, and so we have to wait until he is strong enough to leave the bed.”
Wendy smiled sadly. “This is not a good reason to recover quickly.”
Smee nodded and took in her compassionate expression. He lifted a horny hand and stroked her cheek. “Sometimes I believe that you have to be an angel, seeing ‘ow caring you treat the men of this crew, who called for your death those years ago – and ‘ow fierce you fought for the very same man who sent you to the plank, and who has now robbed your innocence.”
Wendy had to smile, while her cheeks turned pink. “Love does funny things to people. Perhaps that innocence is not a vaunted as I once thought.” She pursed her lips. “I never thought that he could be so caring and tender – and even romantic. When I remember four evenings ago, with the bathtub and --” Her eyes widened, as she realized what she was saying. “Sorry! I’ll shut up right now!”
A chuckle escaped the Irishman. “Yeah. I heard you yelping as I came into the cap’n’s quarters – and I heard you both laughing and splashing. The floor was wet the next morning around the tub.” Grinning he looked at her red face. “It’s good to know that he has someone to laugh with – and who cares for him. Loneness is the most deadly enemy of a human soul – far more deadly as a sword or a pistol ever could be. I know that very well.”
Wendy looked up to the old man beside her, surprised by his thoughtful words. “Do you remember something from your past?”
Smee sighed. “Yes. A lot. The memories came during my last sleep.” He lowered his gaze. “Most of them. And not all are pleasant.”
Wendy saw the sad expression on his face, and laid an impulsive hand on his shoulder. “If you need someone to talk to, then I have two good ears.”
“Thank you,” he mumbled. “But I think right now you have other worries.”
The girl nodded, looking over the sleeping boys. “I’ll talk to them later, when they’re rested. What about the rest of the crew? Do you need help looking after them?”
Smee shook his head. “No need in the moment, Miss. They’re all – or most of them – asleep. I think they’ll be listening to their hammocks ‘til the evening.”
The girl nodded. “Alright. I’ll then have a look on them then – and perhaps James will be better then as well.”
“Going back to him now?” he asked, winking.
Wendy smiled. “Yes. I have to change the compresses.”
“Of course!”
“And someone has to do something about the chaos in his cabin.”
“Understandable.”
“And I have to look after the two parrots.”
“Yes. Very important.”
“And--” she stopped suddenly. “Why I do have the feeling that you aren’t taking my words seriously?”
Smee had to laugh now, while he shut the door to the common room. “Because we both know the real reason for your eager return--” he made a gesture with his head upwards “--is simply that you want to be close to him again.”
Blushing furiously, Wendy grumbled something about “pirates” and “always ever so direct?” before she hastened away, whispering an “Until later”.
Grinning, Smee looked after her. She really was a sight in her small breeches and the oversized shirt; long hair waving and the soft swaying of her slender hips. And that shining beauty wasn’t all what was tempting about her. Her heart and soul were something you didn’t meet every day. No wonder that the captain had fallen for her.
With a sigh Smee returned to his cabin to continue his nap. Later, he would wake an uncooperative Cookson to make an early dinner for them all. Of course the ship’s cock wouldn’t be too happy about feeding the boys as well – old habits die hard – but he’d take care that the boys would have something to eat. Wearily, Smee reentered his quarters, threw a last glance at the still sleeping boy, let himself fall into the chair and was asleep again almost immediately.

As Wendy returned to the captain’s quarters, she found him exactly as she’d left him. She changed his compresses and checked his temperature. He would need this done many times until the fever was broken. She was still tired, but she knew that there were many things to do – especially since James wasn’t able to do anything. So she started to correct the chaos in the cabin into something more orderly.
The strange furniture was – except the chairs – to heavy for her to carry away, but she put Blackbeard’s documents and clothes away. She came across the overcoat he wore yesterday when he captured her, and with that came an idea. Searching all the pockets she finally found James’ ring. Teach hadn’t even bothered to put it away. Beaming in triumph, she laid the ring on the stand, intending to show him James as soon as he was better.
Then she took a piece of paper inventoried all that Blackbeard had brought in the cabin. She counted every piece of his clothes, every piece of furniture, and finally she checked the trunks with wine, rum and – Wendy forgot to breath for a moment – the jewels and gold pieces. She didn’t know how many ships and towns Teach had raided since his last stop in Nassau, but the booty was enormous. And she knew that the stocks of the Jolly Roger were full now as well. Heavens, Teach seemed to have taken anything that he saw. When she finally finished – only pausing in her work to change James’ compresses – it was evening.
From outside, she heard quiet voices and several footsteps sounded. Not all members of the crew were up, and those who were moved slowly. Wendy checked one last time on James, kissed him softly and left his cabin – this time by using the main door.
Several of the pirates looked up and waved at her. Wendy waved back and looked at the skies. It was still damp and the wind was quite cool. Neverland was covered with a thin mist and the usual lights of the fairies were missing. The whole island seemed to suffer along with its little prince. Again it came to her, the strange connection between Peter and his small world.
Wrapping both arms around her she descended stairs to the main-deck, and was greeted by several of the crew. They were all bruised, but didn’t seemed to heed them – until Wendy started to ask about their well-being, and as she offered to change Billy Jukes’ bandage, who had a nasty gash on his temple, most of the men made sure that they were pitied as well. Of course the girl saw through them. Not all of the men were seriously hurt, but a kind word here and there, and praise for their bravery, and the faces -- which had once looked threatening, bloodthirsty and lustfully had her -- now beamed at her, please for her recognition.
Nevertheless she doctored their wounds, and as she changed the bandage around Cecco’s arm, she thanked him for his prompt reaction the day before, when she had called for his help and he had stormed straight to his captain. She couldn’t tell exactly, because the dark skin of the man hid it, but she could have sworn that he blushed.
The men asked her how the captain was doing, and were relieved when she told them that he had a fever, and was only sleeping through it. It dawned on her that Smee wasn’t around to give orders, so she decided to take James’ offer from their trip and made her first decision as a commander on the ship. She asked for a ship’s report within the hour – to answer whatever questions the captain might have when he awoke, as she told the surprised pirates – ordered a list of the seriously injured men, and what wounds had been inflected on the crew, also an inventory of the booty in storage, all to be provided to her the fallowing morning – and finally allowed them to open one barrel of the rum and one of the wine. Further, she asked if all sails had been repaired, and, when she proved that she really knew the name and function of every sail on the ship, several of the pirates started to whistle and to chuckle, their estimate of her rising by the minute.
At last satisfied, she asked Cookson, who stood near, to bring a cold supper to the captain’s quarters in an hour, and not to forget the boys. Then she returned to the common-room.
Several of the boys were awake by now, and beset her with questions about Peter, what would happen in the next days, and if she were all right. Smiling, she answered patiently and saw herself surrounded by the whole gang moments later, as the last of them awoke.
It was good to see that none of them was really badly hurt, and their bruises were mostly from their wild games. She appeased their worries as to whether they could stay on the Jolly Roger until Peter was well again, and needn’t fear the pirates. Wendy assured them that Hook wouldn’t mind this time, if they didn’t make so much noise, and wouldn’t romp over the whole ship.
During this time, John watched his sister with clear eyes. If he hadn’t seen her and Hook upon the deck hours ago and aboard the Revenge, he wouldn’t have suspected anything strange. She behaved as ever –the mother, big sister and friend to all the boys, but she couldn’t fool him anymore. He knew her secret now.
She shooed the smaller boys to the big table in the corner to prepare it for dinner, and asked Slightly, Nibs, Curly and John to help Cookson to carry the dinner to the common-room. They couldn’t demand any more service of the buccaneers. It was then she met her brother’s eyes and felt uncertainty. His look was almost hard as flint, and she was surprised that none of the other boys saw it.
John waited until she paused in her work to approach her. “We have to talk!” he said in a low voice and Wendy nodded.
“I know. But not now. We have--”
“Now, Wendy!” he demanded.
The girl lifted one brow. “I asked you to help Slightly and the others to carry the dinner to the common-room. So please follow them!” She pointed toward the other boys who left the room to go to the galley.
“There are enough hands to carry the dinner!” John said firmly and lowered his voice. “Maybe we should choose another room to talk. Or do you really want to discuss your… your relationship with Hook in front of everyone?” He had said it so only she could hear; but he would soon raise his voice if she put him off.
Wendy knew this. Narrowing her eyes, she saw that she couldn’t avoid this talk any longer. “Come with me!” she said calmly, and left the common-room with her brother. The only place where they could speak undisturbed would be an empty cabin. Finally locating a deserted cabin, she closed the door behind her brother and herself, making sure they were alone before she faced John.
“Alright, we’re here. Now tell me I’m crazy!”
The boy hadn’t expected that, and for a long moment was silent. Then he took a deep breath. “So it’s true?”
“What you saw on deck several hours ago? Yes.”
“I’m not talking about that, Wendy. I’m talk about the whole thing.”
“What whole thing?”
John rolled his eyes. “Heavens, Wendy, I SAW you! I HEARD you! You kissed him-“
“Only on the temple!”
“--and called him James!”
“This is normal among grown-ups.”
Her brother threw his hands in the air. “But you aren’t a grown-up! And it is NOT normal to call someone by his first name only because he or she is a grown-up as well!”
“In case you haven’t seen it yet, John, I am no longer a child. So you could say that I am a grown-up. And he calls me Wendy, so I call him James.”
“Yeah, and don’t forget ‘sweetheart’ and the other names he’s given you.” He shook his head. “Don’t think me a fool, Wendy. KNOW that there is something going on between you and him! Heck, I’m only angry that I haven’t realized it sooner. As if you really could have escaped him THREE times! And him kidnapping you, and never pressuring you or hurting you!”
“James would never hurt a woman!”
“Don’t make me laugh! He wouldn’t harm a woman – but sent you over the plank! He threatened to slice your throat and then--”
“He’s changed, John. Don’t you see it?” Wendy cut in.
“It is only a great pretend to trick you into trusting him. He uses you to get to Peter and to finally get his revenge.”
“Think, John. He already has Peter. He’s had him since yesterday – and he didn’t kill him. He even wanted to let him go! Does this sound like he’s using me or getting revenge?” Before her brother could protest, she continued: “And what is about his fight with Blackbeard? If he really was only using me, then he didn’t have to risk his life to save me!”
John made a face. “How do I know what that crazy scoundrel is thinking?”
Wendy paced in the cabin. “He isn’t crazy! Yes, he wanted revenge for the loss of his hand, and for being made a prisoner in this land, but he has changed! He isn’t the brutal, cruel pirate you came to know during our first stay in Neverland.”
“He tried to deceive you then – and he’s done it now again. Do you really think he cares for you?”
Wendy lifted her face and looked sternly in her brother’s eyes. “I don’t think so. I KNOW it! He was half mad with fear for my safety. And don’t dare to say you didn’t recognize it when Blackbeard’s first officer caught me. You’ve heard and seen him as well!”
The eldest Darling-son pressed his lips together. Yes, the pirate-captain had been worried about her. It would be a lie to say the opposite. But still… He shook his head firmly. “This is just another plot of his.”
“What’s he plotting for, John? If he seeks only revenge, then he could have killed Peter by now – him and all of us. He didn’t – and he will not do it.”
“And why not? Because of you?” he asked bitterly.
Wendy narrowed her eyes. “That’s it in one, dear brother. Even if you don’t want to accept it, but James has changed and he cares for me!”
“Exactly how you have changed and care for him! Confound it, Wendy, but the man is a killer! He’s a criminal, who—“
“Don’t you think that I don’t know this? Don’t you think that I haven’t though about this over and over again? I know all this, but I can’t change what I am feeling!” Her voice started to rise.
“What are you feeling? I know that you were fascinated with him from the very first! But I thought you smart enough to let it alone after you met him face to face! Instead, you run to him and let yourself being sway by him!” John snorted shortly. “Wake up, Wendy! This isn’t a romantic adventure! This is a dangerous game you’re playing here! You are a beautiful, nearly grown-up woman and Hook is a man and he has eyes in his head. Soon or later he’ll want more from you than a simple kiss!” Wendy’s cheeks turned crimson red, but the boy was looking out the porthole and didn’t see it. “When he took you the third time, and we were caught in that miserable net – the kiss he stole from you… It wasn’t the first!?” It was more a question than a statement and Wendy nodded. “When did that start?” demanded the boy.
“When he caught me the first time,” she answered truthfully.
Her brother gaped at her. “The whole time we’ve been here in Neverland, you and Hook…?” He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe that his sister had tricked them all that long. “For God’s sake, Wendy, we’ve been almost daft with worry when he took you the third time and his ship was nowhere to be found! I thought you were being tortured to give away Peter’s hideout! But in reality you and this criminal bastard were holding hands?” His eyes were blazing by now. “‘He showed me his ship’ Yeah, and what else did he show you?”
The girl felt herself go pale. “I think you’re going a little too far, John!”
“Do you? The honor of my sister is at stake, and--”
“My honor is not your business!”
“Yes, it is! Do you know what Mother would say, if she learned that her daughter had been on a ship full of pirates for several nights? And that their captain was courting her?” He shook his head. “Bloody hell, Wendy, don’t throw your life away for a crazy adventure which could cost you your whole future! How are you supposed to find a good, decent husband, if--”
“Don’t you dare talk to me like Aunt Millicent, John!” Wendy began to rage. “I don’t care about a ‘decent husband’ who would bore me to death in ‘normal’ society. I can’t imagine welcoming chattering wives of my husband’s fellows to tea, talking about recipes and the newest fashions! Or listening to what the men are talking about and silently nodding my approval without a chance of saying what I’m truly thinking!” It was HER life they were talking about, and the only one who had a say in it was she. If her mother or father demanded satisfaction, then that was another matter, but not her younger brother!
“But you can imagine yourself on a pirate-ship and calling yourself a grown-up!?” he sneered, shoving his hair back. “This is crazy, Wendy. Don’t you see the danger? Even if – and I mean a very big ‘if’ – Hook really had some kind of affection for you, and won’t hurt you, he could do worse. In the state you’re in, he could try to seduce you and then what? How will you defend yourself if he suddenly does more than… kiss you?”
Wendy went red from her toes to her hair-roots and this time John saw it. His eyes widened. Her blushing could mean only one thing. He didn’t dare think about at first, but then he needed to know. “What have you done?”
Wendy reddened even more, which was answer enough.
John closed his eyes, almost afraid to voice the question that suddenly burned in his mind. “Have you slept with him?” he asked hoarsely and the girl took a deep breath.
“Aren’t you a bit young to be asking about things like this?”
“Don’t change the subject!” John snapped, curling his hands into fists and glaring at her. “I’ve heard the special talk between you and Mother, and the boys in the school talking as well! Answer my question: Has he touched you?”
This was the moment she had feared – and on the other hand had longed for, because after it came to light, the whole stress of secrecy would find its end. “Yes,” she said quietly.
Horrified her brother glanced at her, his face losing all color. “How far has it gone?” he whispered.
Wendy straightened her small shoulders. “As far as it has to go, when you’re sleeping with another person. I told you before: I am not a child anymore!”
John swallowed hard; there was an odd buzzing in his ears. “He raped you?” The boy’s voice was very high.
Wendy went rigid, her eyes started to flash. “No! And don’t you ever dare accuse James of this! He hasn’t raped me, and he has not forced me to do anything against my will!” That wasn’t completely true, because in the beginning she hadn’t wanted it. But then his sweet caresses and soft demands had overwhelmed her resistance, and she let herself be carry away to the greatest bliss possible. And she didn’t – and wouldn’t! – ever regret it.
“Not against your will?” her brother repeated. “So you welcomed him into your arms?” He begged the Higher Powers that it wasn’t true, but as Wendy nodded he lost his hope. He lost his speech and he could only look at her for a long moment, before he breathed again: “Have you gone completely mad? My own sister gave her honor and innocence to this villain like…”
The girl stepped in front of him. “Don’t you dare to say it, John, or you will get the slap of your life!” she threatened, and meant every word. “It isn’t wrong to find happiness in the arms of another, and to enjoy the sensation of giving and receiving tenderness.”
John stared at her. “He seduced you!” he realized; then his face turned dark with rage, while he whirled around to the door. “That bastard! I’ll kill him!”
Wendy seized his arm and held him back. “Don’t you go near him, John! He doesn’t want to hurt you because you are my brother, but if you attack him, he will defend himself!!”
“Don’t pretend you would care!” he said bitterly.
“What? Of course I care, even if you’re right or not. You’re my brother! And believe this much -- a fight between you and him is the last thing I want!”
John wrung his hands, still hardly believing that his sister had been this careless and foolish. Even now she didn’t see the devilish plan Hook was up to. “He has robbed your honor, destroyed you future and you’re trying to tell me that he had forgotten all about his revenge, and that he changed? Are you blind? This IS his revenge! He doesn’t have to kill you to make you pay for what you did to him four years ago! He knows about your fascination for him. So he simply took you to his bed, seduced you, made certain that your life is ruined, and, by the way, had the pleasure of a lay!” he nearly screamed.
Wendy laid her index-finger on her lips. “Hush, John. Do you want to be heard by the whole crew?”
“As if this would make any difference. They all know that you are his… his ‘birdie’, as Blackbeard said, his doxy.” He turned away and rubbed his eyes under the spectacles. “How could you?” he asked with a plaintive voice after a while. “How could you let this blackguard touch you?”
“It happened. You don’t know how it feels, when--”
“Please, no details! It makes me sick when I imagine you and this scoundrel rolling between the blankets.”
For the first time, Wendy felt a burning behind her eyes – more out of anger than anything else. “Don’t speak about things you don’t know, John. You may have overheard of what Mother said, and talked to boys your own age who haven’t a clue of what they’re speaking, but it’s nothing near the truth! Far from it, dear brother. It isn’t the ‘duty of a good wife’ or a ‘fulfillment of the marriage contract’. It is the greatest possible bliss to be a part of someone who is dear to you. You don’t have the vaguest notion of anything that happens! You don’t know what it’s like to see the other one that vulnerable, and to realize the trust he’s showing, to open himself up like that. You don’t have a trace of an idea of how it feels when you think you will die of pleasure, because of the incredible caresses he gives you, and then takes his own joy from yours! You don’t know how it is when you are really at peace and made whole for the first time, because you’re lying in the arms of another, and can return the attention he gives you! You don’t know how it is to wake up not alone, but in a safe embrace, and to be cared for like no-one has ever done before! You’re just a boy!”
John stepped away from her to one of the beds and sank heavily down onto it, realizing how much had gone on between his sister and the pirate-captain. “It sounds as if you two have done this insanity more than once.” His voice was very quiet by now and he looked beaten and tired.
Wendy sighed and sat down beside him. “It isn’t insanity, John. Alright, you think you’re losing your mind in pleasure, but it is the most beautiful thing you can ever experience – if you are with someone who dear to you.”
“So he is dear to you. The very same man who once tried to kill you!” He looked at her as if she were batty.
“He has changed, John. I don’t know how often I have to repeat this, but he really isn’t the same man as before. Or to say it more clearly: He has turned back into the man he must have been before he came to Neverland and lost his hand. Hate and bitterness had held him so long in their deadly grip that his soul was almost destroyed. It is amazing how this powerful and strong man yearns for a simple display of caring, and how he seeks shelter in my arms.” Her voice had gone very soft and she met the glare of her brother.
“What poison has he used on you that you not only take him into your arms, but speak of him in this way?”
“The poison you’re talking of has infected even the strongest men on earth and wears the simple name of ‘love’.”
John’s eyebrows rose and his spectacles slid down his nose. “Love? Has he said, he loves you?”
Wendy nodded slowly. “Yes.”
“After – what? – eight or nine days?”
“We’ve known each other longer, John. And sometimes it isn’t a matter of time when it comes to realizing that you love someone.”
John swallowed. “Do you believe him?”
“Yes. I knew it even before he said it. Too much gave him away. And you’ve seen the proof on the Revenge. Not only did he risk certain victory over Blackbeard by challenging him to a duel to save me, but his reaction as I mouthed the three special words to him. If he didn’t love me, Neverland would not have unfolded its special magic again.”
“I haven’t been there during the duel. The others and I were throwing the gun-barrels over board. Still there was something odd in the air suddenly.” The boy bit his lips. “So you do love him in return?” he whispered and Wendy had to smile.
“Yes, I love him.”
His shoulders sagged down. “Of course you do. You were never more excited than when you told us stories about Captain Hook with eyes as blue as forget-me-nots.” He shook his head. “And whose eyes turned red before he gutted you!”
Wendy took another deep breath. “In battle, there are only two possibilities: to win or to die. Yes, he’s done things which were criminal. But only because he had no license as a privateer. Otherwise the Crown would pay him, like Francis Drake or Flint.”
“And you have no problem with that?” he asked quietly. “This man has killed!”
“Like soldier. Like you and I have. We both know that there is so much violence in the world. James regrets it. He thinks of himself as a mere shell of a human being. And that miserable hook has its part in it. He thinks that to have a cold steel instead of flesh and blood makes him less human.” She lowered her gaze. “I will never forget his look as he showed me the stump and I asked him if it still hurt.” She shook her head. “You’d think that he never experienced the slightest bit of compassion and sympathy before.”
John had propped his chin in his hand and closed his eyes. “He has twisted you around his little finger.”
“Funny. He said the same thing, only that I had done it to him!” She smiled briefly. “You don’t know how much humor he can show. As we had this bath together…”
“Ungh! There’s a picture I’d rather not think about!” John cut in and turned pink.
Wendy blushed as well. “Sorry!”
For a long moment they remained silent, then the boy lifted his head. “So what are you going to do? Stay here?”
Wendy snatched up all her courage and said clearly: “Yes!” She met his shocked gaze. “I’ll stay with the man I love. I don’t expect you will understand this—“
“Damn right!”
“—but it will not change my mind. Sooner or later I would have left my childhood, and had to face marriage. Now it is sooner, but…”
“Do you really think that he will marry you?”
“Why not? And even if not – this is not Edwardian England, which only accepts you if act the way they want you to.”
“Have you lost all your morals?” he blurted out.
Wendy stood up, finally losing her patience. “He loves me, I love him. Where is the problem?”
“That’s easy: You would be his whore, his kept woman! Are you’re really sure that he loves you? What if he only wants you to fall in love with him to abandon you later, to finally have the greatest revenge possible?”
Wendy threw her head back. “How many times have I to tell you that he doesn’t think of revenge anymore? He would rather die than hurt me! And this is the very reason he spared Peter’s life! Can you think of a bigger proof than the reprieve of the one that he had hunted all those years? And even if he were not truthful, I choose to love him and I choose to stay. I can do no other.”
John shoved his spectacles back in place. “That remains to be seen. Peter is still here – under his control. And I don’t think that he’ll let him go.”
“He’s done it before. He gave me the keys to the brig, or have you already forgotten?” She hesitated a moment. “If James lets him go, will you believe than that he loves me?”
“It doesn’t matter if I believe it or not. You believe it and that’s worse!” He scratched his head. “Please, think again, Wendy. All right, you aren’t decent anymore, but we could say that you have been violated and--”
“Oh, not you as well!” she moaned. “James asked me to tell the same story, if he died in battle and I had to return to London, so that I could find a good husband to have a safe life.”
John made a grimace. “The bastard seems to have the slightest bit of decency at least!” he grumbled.
“Don’t call him that! I know you don’t like him, but that doesn’t give you the right to insult him.”
“To insult him?” John repeated. “I would like to see him hang! If I’d known how far this whole thing had gone, I wouldn’t have helped you rescue him!”
Wendy paled. “Do you know what you’re saying? Do you know how terrified I was for his life?”
“Yeah! I saw and heard you as you tricked us in helping your lover.”
The girl frowned. “I never tricked you. Blackbeard was the greater danger for Neverland. Even Peter understood this. Otherwise he never would have sided with James.”
“Of course you only thought of Neverland!” the boy mocked. He stood up and offered her a hand. “Please, come to your senses, Wendy! Come with us back to the island, before it’s too late. None of the other boys knows what happened to you and they won’t, if you return together with us.”
Wendy shook her head. “They will have to accept it – as well as you, John. I love James and I will not leave him! He needs me – and I need him.” She wrapped her arms around her petit form and admitted quietly: “The mere thought of being without him frightens me. For without him, I’m not alive, but only exist. I need his warmth, his tenderness, and his passion and care. I’m tired of sneaking out in the dark of night only to be with him, then leaving him in the morning, to hasten back to the hideout. I don’t want him to worry anymore because he is afraid that I could get hurt along the way. I’ve had enough of pretends, only to avoid your shock and anger. James and I are one, and the sooner you all accept this, the easier it will
be.”
John shook his head. “So you sneaked out of the hideout when I thought you fast asleep and safe in bed.”
Wendy sighed and nodded. “Yes. James wanted me to stay, but I knew I had to look after you all and…”
“And so you returned night after night to be in his arms, and to show us the scared little girl that had been threatened by the mighty, evil pirate. And in truth, he was your lover even then!” Wendy saw how much John was hurt, and reached out to stroke his cheek. He avoided her touch, and the girl felt a deep pain in her heart. “You lied to us all, Wendy. I thought you trusted us – that you trusted ME. We both never had secrets from each other. Why now – and all because of him?”
Wendy felt her tears rising again and blinked them away. She was tired of weeping, tired of defending herself and tired because of the whole stressful situation. “That’s easy, John. Because I knew that this is how you would react. I know that you loathe James, little brother, and I… I feared your anger.”
She whispered the last words. In spite of his irritation, John could clearly see the state his tender-hearted sister was in. He didn’t like to see her cry, and especially when he was the reason for it. Wait a moment! HE was the reason? No, it was the fault of that blasted pirate up there in his pompous cabin! Hook had caught her in her weak spot, had seduced her and had taken care that she would fall in love with him. And that’s where her pain began. The proof was here before his very eyes. He sighed deeply. “Don’t you see how he manipulates you? He even turned you against your own friends and family!”
Wendy’s jaw fell. “WHAT ought James to have done? Are you mad? I feared your anger – and now you prove I was right! – And it’s HIS fault? You dare to speak about things you haven’t the slightest knowledge of, insulting him – and me by doing so! – and because you’re still too young to understand how love really behaves between grown-ups, you’re placing blame on James?” She shoved her fists to her waist. “Whether I talk to you or not, it won’t make any difference. In your eyes, James will ever be the villain, even if he saved you sister’s life!”
“And ruined it!” John shot back.
“Shut up!” she snarled, losing her temper. “For the last time: he didn’t do anything to me that I didn’t want, and it’s not for you to decide with which man I will share my life! You can respect it – and believe me, I would be more than glad! – or you can continue to play the cuckolded brother and behave yourself like an idiot!”
It was John’s turn to go crimson red. Never before Wendy had talked to him like that. “You know what? Go to him and be happy! I don’t give two pence if you throw your life away, or not. All right, I have to explain it in front of our parents, but don’t worry! I’ll manage!”
“No, you won’t!” the girl snapped back. “I’ll write them a letter and perhaps you won’t pretend to be too self-important to give to them!”
John nodded. “My pleasure! At least I still know how to behave!” He turned to leave, but stopped one last time. “What about Peter? I thought he was so dear to you. Have you thought about him, as you throw yourself in the arms of his deadliest enemy and betray him?”
Wendy felt the hard stab of guilt again, but held her ground. “I haven’t betrayed him. He is a boy, I am grown. We are friends and earlier, when I was still a child, I developed the first tender feelings of my life and they were for him. But he has decided to remain a boy, while I had to move on. Do you really think I intend to mourn all my life because Peter chose Neverland over me? I can understand him in a way. To grow up is really a barbaric thing, because nothing is as easy as it seems during childhood. It’s a new way of seeing, and you see far more than before. But I don’t close my eyes and pretend everything is all right. I have faced my future. To tell you the truth: being a grown-up isn’t that bad. In fact, the opposite is true. Perhaps you will learn it later, when you fall in love the first time.”
The boy took a deep breath. “Do you want to tell him that you prefer Hook?”
“I will tell him what he needs to know. And don’t you dare interfere. I have to go alone.”
Again John sneered. “Don’t worry, Wendy. I wouldn’t dream of helping you through this. Turn your back on all of us – and maybe someday you’ll come to your senses, when you need us after your ‘lover’ has let you down.”
For a moment, Wendy closed her eyes. “It appears there’s no use in continuing this talk. I hoped you would understand that nobody could choose who they’ll love. But perhaps I was wrong, and you aren’t mature enough for this kind of talk. Go back to the other children and pretend that you’re so clever, because you think you know everything and can judge me. Maybe someday, when you’re older, you’ll learn that you were wrong about both of us.”
John stormed out of the cabin – and straight into someone big. If it hadn’t been for the quick reaction of the man he collided with, he would have landed on the deck, but a hand closed around his arm and held him. “Hey, why the hurry, boy?” grumbled a well-known voice with a Irish accent, and John realized that he had bumped into Smee. At first he nearly begged pardon, then he snorted. This man was a pirate, too. Smee lifted a brow. He had heard the loud voices of the two siblings and had followed the sound until he found the cabin, where they were having their fight. Instantly the boatswain had known what the fairy-queen had tried to tell him.
“What do you say, John?”
“What do you mean?” the eldest Darling-son snapped back and earned a soft scolding.
“Oh, for example ‘I am sorry that I almost ran you down, Mr. Smee’?” He waited a second and added kindly, “I know that you don’t like my choice of career, but I thought you well-bred enough to respect grey hair and wrinkles.” He winked at him and John promptly turned red.
Yes, he scorned buccaneers, but nevertheless, this man in front of him earned his respect simply because of his age. And – by the way – Smee wasn’t so bad. Clearing his throat he murmured, “I’m sorry, Sir.”
Smee smiled warmly. “You’re welcome.” He cocked his head. “What went on in there moments ago? Did you argue with your sister?”
John gave him an evil glare. “You eavesdropped?”
The Irishman lifted both brows. “Lad, I don’t eavesdrop on no one. Never! But you two were loud enough to wake up the dead.” He sighed. “Sometimes girls are difficult to understand, eh?”
John narrowed his eyes. “Do you to want have a so-called heart-to-heart?”
Smee shrugged his shoulders. “If you like. I may be old, but I was once a boy, too. And I remember my older sister perfectly. Sometimes I could’a sworn she was crazy.”
The boy’s eyes widened. “You… remember something? I thought you all never remembered and…”
“Aye! Until several hours ago. Suddenly they were back.” He sighed. “Come on, let’s go to another place and parley, and maybe have a drink. Have you ever tasted ale?”
John swallowed. “One time, but…” He took a deep breath. “I know what you’re up to. You want to tell me that this crazy thing between my sister and your captain is all right.”
Smee shook his head. “Nah. That’s something the two of them have to figure out by themselves. But I know how upsetting sisters can be. I remember one time, as my sister…” he began, gently tugging John along with him.
John bit his lips. “Where are you going?”
“To the galley. It’s still the best place to talk. I don’t know how it is in London, but in Ireland the kitchen’s the center of a household and the family all come there to talk while the food’s on the board.”
Too perplexed to argue, John followed him. He didn’t even realize that Wendy had stayed behind in the cabin until he and Smee were gone.
Wendy looked after them both, feeling hope that Smee could talk sense into her brother. She trusted the Irishman. Deep in thought, she returned to the common-room, wished a good night to the other boys, excused herself as being very tired, and started toward the captain’s quarters, again by the main route. The fresh air was good and she remained briefly at the rail of the quarterdeck, ignoring the rain. She needed to clear her head. The silence around her, only interrupted by the noises of the riggings, the soft splashes of the waves against the ship’s body and the quiet voices of the crew from under the deck, calmed her. Finally, as she was wet to the skin, she entered the cabin, closed the door behind her.
She lit several candles and looked at James. He had shifted in his sleep and lay more on his left shoulder now. As she saw his face, and her gaze roamed over his blanket-covered body, she felt the last bit of unease leaving her. His presence was enough to calm her, and she felt the security she only experienced with him.
With still trembling hands she undressed, laid her clothes over a chair, and towel dried her hair. Dinner waited on the table, and even though she wasn’t hungry after the fight with her brother, she made herself eat something.
She saw the rum bottle, and she decided to let Red-handed Jill out one more time. She took several deep sips. It burned in her throat like fire, and her stomach protested, but after a while the burn changed into a pleasing warmth. Checking one last time on James – his fever was down – she blew out the candles and slipped in beside her captain, daring to snuggle closer to him.
His familiar scent, the feeling of his soft breath upon her skin and the tickle of his curls were enough to tell her that she had made the right decision. She loved him and she would never leave from him only to satisfy her brother’s opinions.
Tenderly kissing his lips, she buried her face between his chin and throat, and for a moment she heard a soft grumbling from him, then he grew silent again. Convincing herself that tomorrow would be another day, and that Smee possibly had been successful in convincing her brother, she closed her eyes and shoved every thought out of her mind, allowing only be those of James to remain – and finally, tired and a little bit tipsy, she fell asleep.

TBC…
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In the swirl of passion