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My Shiny Freak	By : Prettyflour Category: Twilight Series > AU/AR > Het > Het Views: 3183 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Twilight is the property of its owner- Stephanie Meyer. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. I make no profit from this- this is for fun!

Chapter List
- 21
- 22
- 23
Beta'd by Vinetagejgc

Warning: This chapter contains Jesus jokes. If you are offended by people busting on Jesus Christ. STOP READING NOW!
On with the show.

How I ended up on this topic of conversation confounds me. But somehow it seems to pop into the idle chit chat around the house. Everyone tells me that I am morose and twisted, but I can't stop myself from asking questions and contrary to their opinions, I do not feel I am acting like a bothersome child. Besides, I have sworn an oath to the entire family. All of their limbs will remain in contact with their bodies at all times. For me it is a matter of extreme fascination of how quickly we vampires heal.
I am staring at Emmett with my mouth agape after hearing his secondary tale of reattaching a limb.
"Carlisle says our limbs are animated even when not attached. You've seen it for yourself. Your lone arm punched me in the mouth... Remember?"
I nod with a grin. Of course I remember, not the sort of thing one could easily forget.
"The point is, had we not actively taken your arm and stuck it back in its socket, it would have made its way back to your body on its own."
"That is just creepy!" I exclaim.
"No, what's creepy is your morbid obsession with dismemberment." He casts me a cautious glance.
A door slams. A blue streak I barely recognize as Esme flies through the living room and up the stairs and is now dragging Carlisle out of the bat cave and into their bedroom.
Aro then saunters downstairs scowling over the loss of his BFF. He plops down on the couch next to Jasper who is watching the history channel. He yawns, pretending to snore and says, "Been there, done that."
I don't have any interest in television either. I take out my new Blackberry and amuse myself for as long as I can before I decide to text Edward. Alice shoots me a warning look, reminding me to play nice.
"What would Jesus text?" I mumble.
"He wouldn't" Aro waves his hand. "He's old school, anti-technology. Won't even create himself a Facebook page."
Jasper snickers. "Carlisle's been trying to convince him for years to at least get a cell."
I sat up. "Jesus?"
"Yeah, you know of Jesus Christ don't you?" Aro asks. I roll my eyes and nod. "He's kind of a hippie martyr type. No fun at parties."
"Wait.. What? You know him?"
"He's immortal. Duh." He rolls his eyes back at me. "He was bitten... sort of publicly. The whole crucifixion, resurrection scenario was a cover story. A cover story that worked far better than we could have possibly imagined. He's a nomad now, a vegetarian too thanks to Carlisle."
"Jesus is a fucking vampire?"
"Sure is."
"And he ate people?"
"Only those he considered bad. The ultimate God complex." He sighs dramatically.
"But he's a vegetarian now?"
"Yes. After meeting Carlisle he was inspired to change his eating habits. Mother fucking hippies, both of them."
oooOOOooo
As we wait Rose and Emmett take this opportunity to hunt. I suspect a quickie as well. Alice gave me a quick run down of the Royal Babysitters. There would be three, Caius, Marcus and Jane. All had been 'guarding' Aro for centuries. Keeping tabs on him, chasing him down whenever he escaped the castle and basically catering to his every whim. She describes Caius as a flaming gay super happy kind of guy who is pretty harmless aside from his notorious hatred of werewolves and Walmart.
She didn't say much about Marcus except that he is eternally pissed off. No one, not even Aro, has seen him crack a smile, ever.
She is quiet before telling me about Jane. She tells me that Jane was young when she was turned. Not a child, but not far from it. She warns me not to stare and assures me that as long as we are cooperative, that all will go well and that Uncle Aro will soon be gone. I promise to be on my best behavior.
Alice breathes a heavy sigh and then counts down from ten aloud.
"One."
The front door opens and Caius blows in.
In his fabulous immortal glory, Caius prances forth with an arrogant swagger. He walks the distance to Aro as if it were a runway, tossing his head back and throwing his cape aside. He puts his hand on Aro's forearm and then smirks before turning to face us.
The next to enter is Marcus. He is monstrous in size, making Emmett look small, stalking across the room with a murderous glare directed at Aro. His lips twist into a scowl that spans most of his face. He's wearing a perfectly tailored black pin stripe suit and a fedora. I am secretly pleased that he looks like a mobster, but he is also exceedingly more intimidating than I had imagined.
He pays absolutely no attention to anyone but Aro. They stare at each other and shake hands quickly. Marcus immediately falls to Aro's right side and then Jane comes in.
Her tiny figure is consumed by a dark wool cape, with a large hood that makes her resemble a hobbit. She approaches Aro slowly, and then brings her hood down and shakes out her short black hair. They share a quick embrace and then she turns. My eyes go wide as I realize how young she looks. My guess would be she was turned at thirteen, fourteen maybe... Her dark hair and raccoon-like eye makeup, along with blood red lipstick are an obvious attempt at making her look older, but there is no mistaking her youthful appearance. She glares at me and I looked to the floor, remembering Alice's warning.
She steps forward and opens her mouth to speak, but before she can say anything, a fourth immortal waltzes through the front door. He is barefoot and wearing nothing but ripped up jeans and a leather jacket.
"Who the fuck are you?" Alice screeches. I'm guessing she didn't see him coming.
He steps toward her and Jasper goes into caveman mode, jumping in front of her and looking menacing.
The stranger steps back and smiles. "Is Carlisle home?"
"He's busy," Jasper replies quickly. It is true. None of expected to see Carlisle or Esme in the immediate future. They were indeed busy upstairs.
"What about Jemo?" He asks.
Alice puts her hand over her mouth and then falls to the ground in a fit of giggles.
Everyone stares at Jasper who keeps looking back and forth between mystery guest number four and Alice who remains in a ball at Jasper's feet snorting to herself.
"Who the fuck is this?" Marcus barked.
"Who indeed..." Caius purrs as he approaches the stranger, looking him up and down and licking his lips. "What's your name beautiful?"
"James." He eyes Caius carefully.
"What do you want?" Jasper asks.
"Are you Jemo?"
"What do you want?" Jasper repeats, showing just a little teeth.
James takes another step back and raises his hands slightly. "I'm a friend of Carlisle's. He has told some pretty wild tales of an empath named Jemo who can replicate the feeling a drugged state. He raved about the results." James puts his hands together in front of himself as if he were praying. "I want to experience that. I will pay whatever you want."
I can't believe this. I start giggling to myself. For a price, you too can feel Jemo's stonedpire wrath, complete with body high, perma-smile and hours of amusement otherwise. He could make some serious money. He could corner the market. Oh my fucking god, we could sell him.
Jasper's eyes go wide then look down at Alice. "This is not funny!"
I disagree and join Alice in a fit of laughter.
Aro chuckles as he steps to Jasper's side. "You have quite the opportunity here. Think of the money you could make. I would be willing to bet that many will want to try this. Think of the parties you could have! Fuck, Jasper, throw a little lust in the mix and you could have the orgy of all orgies. Do you guys have orgies? Now Jesus... That man knew how to throw an orgy..." His eyes light up and he leans over and whispers. "After you're done with James… Marcus the miserable would greatly benefit don't you think? The bastard hasn't smiled in centuries."
Jasper looks down at Alice again, who shrugs and hugs his leg, "I can't see anything bad happening."
"I don't know. Last time we almost burned the house down and you did not see that happening."
"I don't see everything! Until the moment our siblings decided to become pyros, there was no way I could have seen that." Alice huffs and comes to stand next to me.
Caius starts tapping his foot impatiently and folds his arms across his chest. "What exactly are we talking about here? Aro?"
Aro waves his hand in response. "Nothing to worry your pretty little head about, my darling."
Caius shakes a finger at Aro. "Don't darling me! What in the H-E-double hockey sticks is going on?"
Marcus nods. "An explanation is in order."
Jane hisses and grabs the sleeve of Aro's shirt. "I want to go home... Now.''
Aro throws his hands up in the air. "QUIET!" He rubs Caius' shoulder. "You want an explanation? Fine. Jasper's a drug dealer."
"Am not!" Jasper promptly starts pacing.
"Drugs?" Jane asks, looking confused.
"Drugs?" Caius drawls, looking curiously at Jasper. "You can't be serious."
"He's not serious. I'm not a drug dealer. I'm an empath." Jasper responds dryly.
"My husband is an emo pusher. That is so bad-ass," Alice breathes and licks Jasper's ear.
"I agree." James says with a smile.
"Let's just back up a second." Jasper says, stepping toward James. "How do you know Carlisle?"
"Facebook." He replies simply.
Jasper balks. "Facebook? Carlisle's bragging about my… ability… on Facebook?"
"I was high!" Carlisle yells from his room. "You can't hold me responsible. It was your fault I felt so inclined to share that information. I never would have done it otherwise. Fuck! Yes! Esme... Yes!"
Abruptly Carlisle and Esme jump out their bedroom window and take off running into the forest. Just then Rosalie and Emmett walk into the living room looking like they just had sex somewhere muddy, their clothes shredded and barely hanging on. She points at James. "Who is that?"
And then everyone starts talking at once. Fingers are pointed, questions are asked, Jane whines, Alice compliments Caius' shoes, Marcus looks confused, Emmett tries desperately to hide behind Rose, Jasper bites his nails and I just stand there watching the chaos ensue.
Caius shrieks and runs in Emmett's direction. "Hi, Emmett! How is my big man? Oh... You're all dirty... That's hot."
Rose and Caius looked at each other and wink. Emmett cringes.
"Don't be rude Em. Say hello." Rose pushes him into Caius' waiting arms.
"So, is he a drug dealer or an empath?" Marcus asks.
"Both I hope." James answers.
"Caius! Grab my ass again and Rose might start to get jealous."
Rose chuckles. "I won't. Continue." She really does love to torture him.
"We don't have time for this, Master Aro. We need to return to Volterra. There are matters to attend to." Jane tugs on his sleeve again.
James leans over to Jasper. "Are we doing this?"
I feel a light tension in my shoulders and an unease start taking over. Jasper is quickly spiraling into panic mode and it is starting to spread. I touch his shoulder and motion for him to join me in the kitchen.
Once in the other room, I turn to face him. "Please keep it together Jazz. I am already freaking out because of the whole Edward in Vegas thing."
"I've noticed. I'm a fucking empath remember?" He seethes.
"Sorry! But your panic is not making this situation any better. Go think happy thoughts and spread that shit around. Please?"
He shakes his head and looks like he is going to break down and cry at any moment. "I'm think I'm in shock."
"Is that even possible?"
"I told you vampires can go insane, didn't I?" He runs his hands through his hair, bites his nails, paces and is otherwise as emo as ever. "Maybe that's it for me. It's happening... Right now... Fuck!"
Fucking drama queen. "Jasper, calm down. This is no big deal. So you throw some emotions around? So what? You're a pro at that."
His jaw drops. "It's not just throwing around emotions. The desired effect is a complex mix of feelings. It's taken me decades to figure it out to this point, but I'm having trouble controlling the level of intensity. It's always the intensity..." He rubs his head and looks at me. "What should I do? Calm everybody down? Get everybody high? Just get James high? Should I even be considering this at all? I'm not sure that I am comfortable being considered a drug dealer. This is so fucked. Alice!"
Alice bolts through the door and hugs him. "You're not a drug dealer. We all know that," she whispers. "Bella's right. This is not a crisis situation. Think of it as a little party. It'll be fun!"
"I'm anti-social," he mumbles. "I hate parties."
Alice is getting nowhere with her efforts at consoling him. Meanwhile, Aro has been preaching the gospel of Jemo. Talking up the whole thing as if it were a religious experience. They are all quiet, yet intrigued. Rose and Emmett then back him up, regaling them with tales of bonfires and good times and then they started talking price.
Wow. They certainly didn't waste any time with this money maker.
Disbelief fills me when Caius offers Jasper a quarter of a million dollars in exchange for six hours of being high, all of us being high. Jasper stops pacing and looks up. He grins from ear to ear and is the picture of calm. "Let's do this."
Apparently Jasper is all about the money. One wire transfer into Jasper's personal off-shore account later, and he is putting us all in a silly haze.
It comes on quick, but slowly. Sort of... We are all sitting around nervously waiting, staring at each other when the wave hits. It starts as one tiny giggle that somehow morphs into ten FUBAR'ed vampires laughing hysterically at nothing.
Even Marcus.
He is on his back on the floor, his hat long since fallen off, his head thrown back in elation. Cauis jumps on Emmett's back and gives what sounds like a battle cry. Aro is giving fist pumps like they were going out of style and everyone else applauds Marcus, except for Jane who smirks and takes a picture of him on her cell.
When the laughter dies down, Alice swoops in and saves us from awkwardness. She starts up a conversation about music, each one of us spouting off our favorite artists of all time, of course.
Alice smiles. "Etta James. Such a powerful, beautiful voice. Love her."
"The Cure." Jane whispers.
"Lady Gaga." Aro says. A few others laugh. "What?"
"Pffffff." Cauis sways and slowly wiggles his fingers in front of his face. "Over three thousand years of music and you choose that?"
"I have many favorites and she is indeed one of them."
Marcus coughs. "Your favorite musician or your favorite pet? Hhmmm?..."
Aro smiles. "Well played, my brother. We finally get you to speak freely and you bust me. Yes, Gaga is a peach, my muse... We really were great together."
"You're kidding right?" James doesn't look at all convinced.
"Oh, I am serious. We had a thing, but her career grew too much. I couldn't risk all the press."
"No shit..." James shakes his head and giggles.
Aro lays back and sighs heavily. "She wrote a song about me."
Jane snorts and Caius harumphs, "Forever immortalized in Lady Gaga's 'Love Games.' How classy!"
Jasper stands and gasps, his hands covering his mouth. He slowly takes his hand away and points at Aro's crotch. "Oh my God. Your... thing... is a disco stick?"
Aro shrugs. "Yeah, I sparkled for her. Totally worth it."
oooOOOooo
Jemo is fantastic.
He is maintaining a wonderful level of mind numbing goodness. Alice becomes compelled to talk non-stop, but it works. She keeps the conversation going and prevents any weirdness. Truth be told whatever Jasper is doing has made her a bit hyper. Her movements are very animated and she is just plain funny to watch. She is a ball of light and energy and I find myself fascinated by her.
"Bella?" Alice appears in front of me, snapping her fingers in my face.
She decides formal introductions are in order. She starts with Marcus.
He is sprawled out on the floor with his eyes closed. His smile small, but still there. He sits up suddenly as we approach.
"I want to become a nomad." He speaks softly and smiles. Poor fucker is bored I think. He continues to blurt out random fun facts. He hates wearing suits, he considers the blood of a young diabetic a delicacy and he worships the Jonas Brothers. Yes, he is a member of their fan club.
I quickly come to the conclusion that being high has made him honest. Honest to the extreme of having no filter. Whether it be inappropriate or out of place, he says it and he means it.
Jane is too busy listening to Joy Division and scrawling emo poetry in her journal to really acknowledge me aside from a subtle nod.
Caius oohs and ahhs at me, patting my head and pinching my cheek. "You are just adorable!"
He puts his arm around Marcus' shoulder and beams with pride. "I told you Edward wasn't gay."
Cauis turns slowly and looks at me. "Where is Edward?"
I sink into the chair. My happy bubble of ignorance is deflating.
"He'll be back soon." Alice answers and then instructs us that we are now going to put on the 'Wizard of Oz,' while listening to 'Dark Side of the Moon.'
I decide to space out instead.
I close my eyes and take a breath, the Pink Floyd creeping into my ears. Relaxation does not come easy to this vampire brain of mine. The thought processes happen without thought, well... without conscious thought. No effort, just a venom bath for my brain, opening it up to its full potential. I think about that dust mite I spied on the stairs. It has to go. I think about Edward, imagining him walking through the door and tackling me in a embrace. I fight the urge to run into our room and sniff something that smells like him. I make a mental note of Aro's Tina Turner belt buckle. I notice Alice stops talking. Everyone is engrossed in this ridiculous cliché of a coincidence.
"This is stupid," Marcus states.
"I agree." Aro stands up. "Not to worry. Relief is here."
No sooner do the words leave his mouth than the front door opens and none other than Jesus steps inside. His long white robe flows down to his bare feet and he wears a crown of thorns on his head. I gawk at him. And then I gawk at the woman on his arm. She is a tall red head, dressed in a halter top and my-ass-is hanging-out-the-bottom-shorts shorts. Oh... and she wearing roller skates.
"Jesus!" Aro calls and opens his arms in welcome. "Long time no see."
Jesus says nothing and motions for his girl to enter. She rolls on over and squeals, "Aro... My darling, so good to see you."
"Ah... Vicky, how I've missed you." He kisses her softly on the lips, twice.
Meanwhile, Jesus is looking around and waving to everyone before frowning. "No orgy?"
Aro chuckles. "Unfortunately not. I tried but this crowd is kind of lame."
"Vicky!" James shouts and runs over to greet her, picking her up and spinning her around. "New skates?"
She nods and giggles and rolls circles around him at vampire speed. "So good to see you, James. Have you met Jesus?"
The mingling begins. The constant chatter floats around along with snickers and snorts. Some of them know each other, some are meeting for the first time. I am quiet, half sprawled on the couch, my leg slung over the side watching, observing a gathering of supernatural creatures. I shake my head at Vicky. She is juggling two Wii remotes, four cell phones, three books, eight pencils, a banana, ten kitchen knives, a coffee table and Alice curled up into a ball.
I'm impressed.
Where the hell did that banana come from?
Anyway, while I am watching this display I hear every word of every conversation happening in this house. Processing every syllable and every change of tone. It's kind of strange. It takes no effort, it just happens and it keeps happening. I wonder what it's like for Edward, not only being able hear every spoken word and surrounding sounds, but their thoughts too. It must be so weird for him.
And overwhelming too.
He's in Vegas. In casinos full to the brim with humans. I don't know how he does it. All those humans... All that blood... and all those thoughts... I shiver. No wonder he was always such a dick at school.
I lean back and focus on a tiny crack in the plaster on the ceiling, letting myself sink deep into thought. Trying desperately not to notice that Jesus is high and is engaged in some kind of flailing motion which I believe may be a dance of some kind. I'm really not sure. He's playing The Grateful Dead. Wait... That was air guitar. Yes, he's dancing. Badly.
I'm closing my eyes now.
I am not paying any attention but I know Alice and Cauis are talking fashion, Aro is bragging about his belt buckle, Vicky is giving Jane a lap dance in the corner while Marcus and James watch Jesus dance.
"Jesus Tap Dancing Christ." Marcus mutters.
He stops dancing and looks at his feet. "No. Not tap dancing. It's freestyle movement."
"Jesus on a cripple after Sunday Mass." James replies.
"It's not Sunday. Is it?" Jesus asks, concern taking over his features. "I have yoga on Sunday and my vegetarian support group."
"Jesus Christ in a cardigan," Alice chirps.
Caius hums. "No, he doesn't wear anything but that ill fitting robe, except for crotchless panties." He winks at Jesus. "Don't worry, today is Friday."
Jesus smiles, nods and continues.
I fetch Edward's pillow then resume my position on the couch.
I laugh because these people are funny. Not just the Cullen Clan, but everyone. Aro is his usual nut job self, rubbing his belt buckle, telling tall tales and every so often dropping hints that he wants me to visit Volterra which I pretend not to hear. Marcus is still smiling and speaking his twisted mind with nothing but blatant honesty. Caius is just awesome. He is zipping around groping every male in the house, shrieking with glee with every feel he cops. Jane is going back and forth between quietly scowling and writing poetry, and bouts of perma-smile while Vicky gives her lap dances. Carlisle and Esme are still in the woods somewhere in the depths of their reunion coupling. Alice and Jasper are wandering around like super-duper party hosts, making conversation and generally keeping the peace. Rose is cackling at Emmett who is currently latched on to her back like a spider monkey trying to avoid Cauis' overly excited hands and Jesus Christ is under Jasper's influence and loving it. He is dancing around, talking to himself and occasionally suggesting that we have an orgy. Thankfully, we are all too high to take him seriously. James is chilling by the fire place, staring into the flames with vast interest while Vicky is rolling from person to person dancing seductively and juggling anything she can find.
I am still sitting on the couch, silently observing and sniffing this pillow. Letting my mind process what is going on around me and wondering why everyone is so worked up about the Royal Babysitters. They don't seem so bad to me...
I become lost in my thoughts. My body is ultra-relaxed with brief moments of tense ache for Edward. My mind becomes a never ending plain of thoughts. I remember Charlie and Renee, their faces fuzzy and far away. Phoenix is a blur, Jake is a passing flash of tan skin and whiskey. I see another dust mite and plan to take it out later. I pray for Edward's speedy return. I picture his long fingers against piano keys, his beautiful smile, well... his mouth in general, his eyes, his hair, his thighs. I take a mental inventory of his body and what I plan to do to it. I simultaneously plot his punishments for leaving me here with out him. I am swallowed by the couch, totally lost in the abyss of my vampire mind.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Bella? Yoo Hoo?" Alice's smiling face is inches from mine. In a flash, she is sitting next to me, patting my leg. "You OK?"
I blink. Three times. I look at her and nod.
Jasper jumps over the back of the couch, landing in back of Alice. He wraps his arms around her and buries his nose in her hair. "What do we have here?"
"Bella's having a moment." she says as she leans back into her husband.
'Oh." Jasper chuckles. "Those pesky moments... They sneak up on you."
I pull my leg close to me and curl up with my pillow, the scent of Edward making me calm and driving me insane with need for him. The love birds are eyeing me, whispering to each other in a language that I don't understand, looking sympathetic.
"You fuckers! What is that? Russian?"
Jasper rolls his eyes. "Do you know how long you have been sitting here? Unmoving, not breathing, acting totally oblivious to what's going on around you?"
How long had I been sitting here?
I do not know.
I furrow my brow and smoosh the pillow into my face. After a few deep breaths, I ask, "How long?"
"A little over four hours."
This surprises me, making Jasper laugh and Alice sigh. She leans forward, "It's alright. It happens to us all."
Four hours? My brain scans, computes and is officially confused. "Wow... I..." Ah shit, I can hardly even speak.
Jasper nods solemnly. "Alice calls it having a moment."
"I do. It's difficult to describe but sometimes we can get lost in our own minds. Our capacity for processing information is something that takes getting used to; and even when you are used to it, it can be overwhelming. I remember the first time I created my own fashion line... I was relishing the urgency and the joy of designing my own clothing, but there was so much to do. I sat down and started thinking about my color palette which led me to think about shoes and accessories, fabrics, hair, make-up and blah fashion blah. I got absorbed in my own thought process. I sat there for twelve hours just thinking."
"That was a long one for you," Jasper says as he kisses the top of her head.
"Rosalie has them quite often. Edward, well, he used to." Her smile widens and she gives my leg one last pat. They both sigh and hold each other. I find myself jealous of their sickly sweet love vibes and slightly embarrassed at my grip on this pillow.
"What's wrong?" Rose joins us on the couch.
"She's having a moment," Alice whispers.
"Oh." Rose gets quiet and fidgety and then out of nowhere... she hugs me. She hugs me tightly, smoothes my hair and rocks me ever so slowly. It should have been strange. It was Rosalie... Practically spooning me.
But it isn't. It's nice. It's comforting. Someone holding me in a way that is consoling and loving. It isn't Edward but it's making me feel better. It makes my ache for him subside a bit.
"Thank you," I whisper, hugging her back in appreciation.
She releases her hold and pulls away, tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear. "This is just another piece to this life, a part of what we are. It wouldn't be so bad if Edward was here."
I'm sucking Edward's scent off this pillow in deep huffs.
She laughs. "Do me a favor and give him hell for this."
I groan because I want to... but I want the happy-sex-filled reunion more.
"I know..." She huffs. "Alice told me. Fine. Have your sexy-time when he gets back, but there is always time for making him pay later. You have nothing but time now."
She arches an eyebrow and sighs. "Sorry to cut this short, but Cauis is dry humping Emmett again."
As she walks away, Vicky turns away from Jane and towards me.
She rolls on over and looks me up and down, smiling and biting her lower lip before spinning away from me. She bends over pushing her ass in the air. She puts her hands through her legs and proceeds to juggle six balls with each hand. All the while rolling her feet back and forth and wiggling her butt. It is like a train wreck. I can't look away.
Where the hell did her shorts just go? Oh my... Oh no. I can't... This is wrong. Right?
A twinge of arousal sparks in my belly and Jasper is cracking up laughing across the room.
He... He is pointing and laughing at me.
And upping the lust level up a notch or two.
I glare at him. "Stop."
He pouts and looks down for a moment, shaking his head. A curious look overtakes his face and then he looks up and smiles at me.
Another wave of arousal shoots through me, causing me to shift and rub my legs together.
I try again. "Stop." My voice more forceful this time.
Vicky is still juggling away, random items of clothing disappearing as she rolls closer, rubbing her thighs against mine.
And dammit, it's turning me on. A lot. Jasper is going to die. Or get a limb ripped off, I can't decide. Gah! Why is she trying to straddle me?
I lean back away from her, as far as the couch will allow.
I growl and give Jasper a death look, trying to push past this wavy haze and make him stop.
He doesn't.
What the...
What the hell is going on?
I can't...
Somehow, this whole manipulation thing isn't working.
I focus harder, shouting at him and crying out in frustration.
And Vicky... She mistakes my cry for a cry of pleasure, spurring her to giggle and turn to me.
Facing me, she swishes and sways her hips. Jesus Christ and Aro are hooting and hollering for her to keep going, all the while I plot revenge on Jasper. I'm surprised Alice hasn't come over and tried to convince me not to rip his head off.
The laughing, the shouting, my mellow body, my confused mind, my want, my need, Jane throwing a fit and asking why her gift isn't working on me, Alice's snorting, Emmett's constant wide eyed glare... It is all too much for me. I think I'm getting The Fear...
As Vicky leans closer, I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to ignore the raging arousal that Jasper has forced upon me, but I can't deny that she smells kinda nice. No! No!
I'm confused, perplexed, slightly disoriented and hankering for some sexual healing, but not like this. No, not from some red-headed master juggler. When did this whole scene go upside down?
She fingers the hem of her shirt and pulls it up. "Uh... No. I... Stop that. Can you please put your shirt back on?"
"Relax Bella. Relax and enjoy this." When she licks my neck, I think I whimper a bit.
I hear a gasp or ten and a fierce growl.
"WHAT THE FUCK?"
An absolute silence takes the room. I take a breath.
Oh god... Oh no. No No No No No No No No No!
Aro chuckles. "Welcome home Edward."
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My Shiny Freak