Destiny Awaits | By : Lollydolly Category: Twilight Series > Het > Bella/Jasper Views: 19536 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story. |
An: I’m so sorry, I owe you all a huge apology for taking so long (so long in fact that some of you thought I was dead, or that the story was finished) I have no brilliant excuses other than a lack of time. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, you all rock my socks. Even the crazy ones :)
As always thanks to my lovely beta ladyofkeegan
Chapter Twenty Four
Jasper
“So what do you think?” I asked Rose nervously. This was new territory for me. Sure, I’d taken Alice on dates, but as she’d been able to see where I was taking her in advance, I’d always known whether or not she’d like it in advance too. I was used to planning a date and having Alice tell me what she’d rather do instead. This time, I’d have no idea if I was getting it right until Bella actually saw what I had planned.
“I think she’ll love it.” She smiled. “I’m sure she will actually, but you do realise that you could probably take her to the nearest dump and she’d be happy because she was there with you, right?”
I let out the breath I’d been holding and relaxed a little. “Will you help me set it up?” I gave her my best puppy dog look for good measure and she agreed, smirking at me.
“Ok, we have four hours until she gets here, which should be plenty of time. If you write me a list, I’ll go into town and buy the food.” She offered. The nerves kicked in again. So far, I’d only made breakfast foods without help, and I was worried I would be overstretching my capabilities tonight.
“How are you at cooking?” I only sounded the tiniest bit desperate, maybe she wouldn’t even notice.
“Pretty good actually, I’ve taken classes at every school we’ve been to. How about I buy double and we have a practise go before we set everything up.” She offered. I was definitely going to have to buy Rose diamonds for this.
The time I spent alone with Rose had always been limited, but this was a reminder of just how much I actually enjoyed her company. To the outside world she often seemed vain and cold, but once you got to know her, she was brilliant. I couldn’t have asked for anyone better to play my twin. Fiercely protective of her family and collected in a crisis, always ready to help if she was asked. I loved her like a true sister.
She had changed a lot recently too. Particularly since Edward left she’d been much happier, and more relaxed. I wondered if that had more to do with the absence of Edward and Alice, or the newfound friendship between her and Bella. She’d always been a firm part of the family, that had been obvious from the day I’d joined the coven, but now she seemed like a more involved, and important part of it.
“Thank you.” I grinned, giving her a quick hug. When I pulled back she looked at me like I might be one sandwich short of a picnic. “What?”
“That’s the first time you’ve ever hugged me.” She pointed out. Surely she must be mistaken, I hadn’t lived with her for sixty years and never hugged her. Maybe I’d been a bit lax in the family affection department. “What brought that on?”
“I was just thinking how lucky I am to have you as a sister.” I explained.
“Oh.” A smile spread across her face, and I felt almost warm with her happiness at the compliment. “Love you too, brother.” She laughed, before running off to find paper and a pen for the list.
I scribbled down everything I’d need quickly, and ending up asking her to get three times as much stuff as I needed in case anything went badly wrong. Once she left I started collecting everything else I’d need. When she got back an hour later I’d amassed a collection of pillows and cushions almost as tall as I was. Hopefully it would be enough. Rosalie laughed at me and said I was over thinking things.
We’d just got started on cooking when her cell phone rang.
“Hi Bella.” She answered, grinning over at me as I tried to eavesdrop while not burning anything.
“Hey Rose. Are you busy?” She sounded excited. I wondered if it was because of the date or something else. Either way, I liked that she was happy. Rosalie looked at me and raised an eyebrow.
“I am. Is it important?” She asked. I really hoped it wasn’t important. I wasn’t sure how well this would go if I was left to try and do it alone.
“Not really.” Bella answered, sounding a little disappointed. “Hey, do you happen to know where Jasper is taking me?”
Rose stifled a giggle as I glared at her in an attempt to make her keep quiet. “I’ve been sworn to secrecy.” She answered, stealing the spoon from me as I’d stopped keeping an eye on the food.
“Aww, please Rose?” Bella whined.
“Sorry, no can do.” Rose laughed. “Anyway, I need to get back to... working hard.” She added vaguely.
“Fine.” Bella huffed. “See you later.”
“I wonder what she wanted.” Rosalie threw her phone on the counter and didn’t answer.
__________________________________
Bella
I can’t believe Jasper is taking me on a date! I’ve no idea where we’re going either since its Sunday and everything closes early in this small town, especially when there is still three inches of snow. I guess a picnic is out of the question.
I’ve already tried to get him to tell me with no luck, and now Rose is being mean and withholding information too. I wondered what kind of “work” she was doing.
Staring around my room at the clothes strewn everywhere I started to panic. I wanted to look perfect for our first date and nothing looked right. I didn’t have any idea where we were going, so I didn’t even know if I should wear something dressy or something casual.
I had been hoping that Rose would at least give me some sort of hint about where I was going, and I’d really wanted her to come over and help me get ready. She could make my hair look gorgeous, and she had a way with makeup that would probably take me decades to learn. I was going to end up going on a first date in jeans with mascara smeared across my eyelids at this rate.
All was not lost, though, there was still Esme. I hadn’t heard her when I’d spoken to Rose so I was hoping that meant she was free. Even if she couldn’t come over she might give me a little advice over the phone, or a hint about where I was going.
I found her number and dialled hopefully.
“I’m sorry I can’t take your call at the moment. If you leave me a message I’ll get back to you as soon as possible... If this is one of the children and it’s an emergency, call your father. If this is Emmett, the answer is almost certainly no.”
I laughed out loud at the last part of the recording and decided not to bother leaving a message. Charlie was at Billy’s, not that I thought he’d be any help, which left me with three options. I could carry on alone, and never actually make it to the Cullen’s, I could call Alice, but I was still mad at her, and asking her for help with this would just be weird. This meant I had to call Emmett as a last resort.
He’d been with Rosalie long enough that he must have picked up some sort of fashion sense, and even if he hadn’t, he’d probably keep me entertained enough that I’d stop being so nervous. I called him, and he took so long to answer that I was worried he was busy too.
“What?” He asked when he finally picked up the phone.
“That’s not very polite Emmett.” I laughed.
“Sorry Bellarina, what's up?”
“Well firstly, please don’t ever, ever, call me that again.”
“Ok, noted.” He laughed.
“What are you doing? Are you busy?”
“Erm... can you keep a secret?” He whispered.
Already dreading his explanation I agreed that I could.
“I’m at a pet shop. I’m trying to decide between a Boa Constrictor and Carpet Python. I always wanted a pet snake.”
“Emmett, have you checked with Esme?” I sighed.
“Yes.” He said cautiously.
“Really?”
“Well… sort of. See she’s got this thing on her answering service, that says-”
I cut him off. “I heard it. It says the answer is no.” I pointed out.
“True. See I was calling to ask if she had any objections to me having a new pet. And if the answer is no… do you see where I’m going with this?”
I sighed and rubbed my eyes. “Where exactly would you keep it? You’d need an awful lot of stuff you know.”
“I know. I was thinking if I kept it in the attic Esme might never even find out. She’s not the problem anyway really. It’s Rosie that hates snakes.”
“Ok Emmett, I have a deal for you. Go and ask whoever is running the store for a book on snake care and bring it to my house. Buy absolutely nothing else ok? Then you can help me get ready, and I’ll help you with your pet problems. How does that sound?” By ‘help’ I really meant dissuade, but he didn’t need to know that right now. Besides, if he did end up getting a snake I’d just pretend I had nothing to do with it.
“Fine.” He sighed. “Give me half an hour.”
I threw the cell down on the bed, grabbed my favorite underwear and robe and ran to the shower.
With no help from Rosalie coming, I was relying solely on my conditioner to work miracles, so I combed through my hair while it was on, and left it for twice as long as usual with my fingers crossed.
Once I was well scrubbed, and my hair had been given the best possible chance I got out and routed through the stuff Jasper had got me for Christmas. I was hoping that since he’d bought it, he must like the smell.
After a few seconds searching I found a tub of lotion that smelled fairly delicious, though I had no idea what it was, and I smoothed it all over my skin before putting my underwear on. A muffled crash from down the hall alerted me to Emmett’s arrival, so I threw on my robe and went back to my room.
“Bella, it’s two in the afternoon, why aren’t you dressed?” He greeted me, sprawled on my bed with his shoes leaving mud on the comforter.
“Shoes off.” I ordered grabbing a comb. “I’m not dressed because I don’t know what to wear, you’re helping me.”
“Why me?” He grumbled, pulling his new snake book out of his back pocket as he kicked his muddy sneakers onto the floor. The book was already bent almost in half and looked like it had been read through a few dozen times.
“Everyone else is busy. Do you know where Jasper is taking me?”
“No. I’m not allowed to know. He said he doesn’t want me interfering so he wouldn’t tell me. I think Rosie knows though, you could ask her.” He shrugged, opening the book and pointing to a picture of a huge black snake. “What do you think of this one?”
“I think you should start out small if you’re set on getting one. And I already asked Rose, she wouldn’t tell me.”
“Yeah, she likes her little secrets.” He grinned, his eyes unfocusing for a moment before he turned back to his book. “Let’s get on with it then. You put something on, I’ll tell you what I think, and you’ll end up wearing the opposite of what I say.” He said smugly.
“No I won’t.” I frowned. “I’m sure Rosalie must ask you what you think sometimes, and she always looks beautiful.”
“Yeah, Rosie asks. If she can’t decide between two outfits, she asks me which is best, and then wears the one I didn’t pick.” He smiled. “So, get on with it.”
“I don’t even know where to start.” I whined. “I don’t know how dressed up to be.”
He gave me a long suffering sigh and pulled out his phone. The conversation was too fast for me to follow, but I saw Emmett frowning and then smiling.
“Rosie says you should wear something comfortable, and not to listen to me too much.” He shrugged. That helped buckets.
I opened my closet and used the door as a screen to change behind, while Emmett read me passages about snakes that I tried hard not to tune out. Comfortable… hmm… I pulled on faded jeans and my favorite blouse, already deciding that this was too casual.
“What do you think?” I asked stepping out from behind the door into Emmett’s line of sight.
He gave me a quick glance and shrugged. “Boring.”
After proclaiming the next five outfits similarly every day, I started to worry I’d never find anything to wear and turned to the bags in the bottom that I’d been avoiding. I didn’t even know what was in half of them; they were all full of ‘gifts’ Alice had felt the need to force on me at least once a week before she left.
In the first bag I found a pair of tight black jeans and a low cut, halter-top of red silk. It might not be comfortable, but it looked better than anything else I’d tried so far. I got dressed, unsurprised when the clothes fit like a glove.
“No.” Emmett said the second I stepped out.
I closed the door so I could see myself in the mirror. I actually looked kind of… sexy. I shocked myself by liking it. “What’s wrong with it?”
“Nothing, if you want him to jump you the second he sees you.” He scowled.
“I do.” I said without thinking, and then blushed furiously as Emmett laughed.
“I think I may have underestimated you.” He chuckled as I ducked back behind the door and waited for my cheeks to cool down. “You really would set me on fire if I kept him away from you wouldn’t you?”
“Yep.” I agreed, coming out of hiding to attempt to apply some makeup.
“You’re doing that wrong.” He commented as I nervously traced eyeliner across my lid.
“I’m what?” Brilliant, now it was on my cheek.
“You’re not doing it right.” He sighed, throwing down his book and stealing the pencil.
I scooted away from him fearfully. “How would you know?”
“Jasper dared me to take hair and beauty classes in the eighties.” He shrugged and moved the pointy object close to my face again. His huge fist looked like it could snap it any second, and I didn’t at all relish the idea of him putting it near my eyes.
“No offence Emmett, but I don’t want you to help.” To be honest, I wasn’t sure he was capable of helping anyway. Emmett was quite possible the manliest man I’d ever met, I doubted he would have gone to beauty school, even if it had been a dare.
“I can do it, you know.” He grumbled.
“Do your eyes first then.” I suggested. He amazed me by walking over to the mirror and doing just as I’d asked. He even did it just as perfectly as Alice or Rosalie would have. I got an idea.
“Fine Em, I trust you.” I smiled, and let him do my eyes too. I repeated the process with eye shadow, mascara and finally lipstick. How he hadn’t caught on to the fact that I was slowly getting him to give himself a makeover I didn’t know.
I bit my lip hard to stop myself from laughing as I handed over a dark red lipstick I’d found and watched him apply it carefully. Smiling, making himself look even funnier, he approached me with the lipstick. “See, no smudges or anything. Honestly, when are you going to believe I can do it?”
“I believe you. I guess you were telling the truth, but I think I’ll just stick with a bit of lip balm, that’s just not my colour.” I escaped to the bathroom, knowing if I looked at him any longer I’d start laughing and give the game away.
I looked into the mirror above the sink and felt a little bad for getting him to put that junk all over his face. He’d done a really good job on me. For once, I didn’t look ordinary. I was still me, just a slightly sultrier version. My hair had dried and through some sort of magic, it was falling in perfect waves, looking almost as good as when Alice or Rose spent half an hour on it.
When I got back to my room I found Emmett pulling my jewelry box out from under my bed. “What are you doing?”
“Alice just sent me a message saying that you should wear the necklace with the little black beads on it, and that is was under the bed. She also said Jasper will be speechless when he see’s you.” He shrugged, beginning to rummage through the box, scattering the contents all over the floor.
“I wish she would stop meddling.” I snapped.
Emmett held out the necklace she’d mentioned. “No you don’t.” He smiled slightly. “How often has her ‘meddling’ saved your life?”
“I’m grateful for that, of course I am.” I fumed. “But why does she feel the need to interfere with the little things? I can choose my own jewelry, and I’d like to see things for myself before she starts telling me about them.”
“She did you a really big favor a few days ago.” He said as he inspected a pair of magnetic studs.
“Did she? What was that?”
“She called us and told us to do something about you and Jasper. You probably wouldn’t be together now if it wasn’t for her.”
Oh. I got on the floor to help Emmett put my things away and thought about Alice. She was only trying to help. I was torn between despising her for how much she’d hurt Jasper and loving her because she was trying to make it right. I was grudgingly thankful for her part in helping us get together, but I was also childishly upset that she had had anything to do with it.
“Let it go Bells, Alice is Alice. That’s all there is to it. She’s just doing what she thinks is for the best, and let’s be fair, she has a better idea of what’s for the best than most.” I started giggling and was soon laughing so hard it hurt. He had such a kindly, serious look on his face, but with the addition of the makeup he looked even more ridiculous than he had before.
“What?” He asked as I struggled to breathe. “I didn’t say anything funny.”
“I know… sorry. It was a nervous laugh, I’m just nervous about this date.” I lied. If I could get him home without him remembering he was still wearing makeup it would be one of my greatest achievements. Just like that my mind switched back to the reason he was here in the first place. I was still nervous about the date. What time was it anyway? Was I late?
“Should we leave?” I heard how high pitched my voice sounded, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. I was quickly sinking back into panic mode.
Emmett raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, ‘cause it takes an hour to get home.” He pointed out sarcastically.
I hated feeling nervous, and I wasn’t fond of the butterflies the feeling left in my belly either. All I wanted to make me feel better was Jasper, which was ridiculous, as he was what I was worrying about. Why was that anyway? Over the last three months I’d spent masses of time with him and no one else, why was I worrying about doing that now? We’d even done date-like things, although we’d only been as friends at the time.
All this date was, was a chance to get some alone time and have fun with my boyfriend, who I loved. There wasn’t a single part of that that didn’t make me feel all warm inside. The alone time was particularly appealing. I thought of the way my body responded to him, the sensations he created with just a few kisses, and let my mind drift to what we might actually get around to if we were uninterrupted.
“Earth to Bella?” Emmett laughed, poking my harder than necessary in the cheek. “Why are you blushing?”
“I’m not.” The denial would possibly have been a little more effective if I wasn’t feeling my cheeks prickle with renewed heat. Emmett just smirked at me in a way that let me know he’d guessed where my mind had wandered.
“Whatever.” He said, getting back on the bad. “Now about this snake…”
I groaned and settled back in the chair, knowing I had a good half an hour in which to try and convince him that it wasn’t a good idea to sneak a snake into his house. After ten minutes I lost interest completely and only nodded or hummed occasionally in response. I decided I should probably tune in again to make sure I wasn’t missing anything really important.
“…and you’re sure I’d never get away with keeping it in the attic?” He asked.
Well I must have answered at least one question right. “I’m completely sure Em. They’d be able to smell it wouldn’t they?”
“I guess.” He sighed. “Hey, how about we keep it here? Charlie wouldn’t mind, right?”
“Yes he would. He hates snakes. No way would he let me have one in the house.” I lied quickly. Snakes might not bother me, but there was no way I wanted one in my room all the time. Plus they ate dead mice, not something I had any desire to witness.
“Pity. We could have named him Bob.”
“Why Bob?”
“Just ‘cause I like it.” He shrugged. “I always call my pets Bob.”
“You’ve had pets before?” I grabbed a bag and jacket at random, stuffed my feet into my boots and took one last glance in the mirror, knowing it was time to leave, but also wanting to hear Emmett’s stories.
“Oh yeah. Let’s see.” He said thoughtfully as we got into the truck. “The last five were all fish, but they don’t last long, at least not with me they don’t and they’re boring too. Before that was a frog, but he escaped when I took him to the pond. Erm… I had a little white cat before that, but when it scratched up some of Rosie’s stuff she gave him away. There was the ant farm, but I knocked it over and the ants got all over the house. I’m not allowed insects anymore. Ooh and there was the cow, but Esme made me take it back to the farm. I had a Dalmatian just before Alice and Jasper joined us, but then Alice came along and ate it. And my very first pet was a kitten, but we were playing hide and seek, and I never did find him.”
“And they were all called Bob?” I checked, desperately trying to contain my laughter.
“Not all the fish.” He told me, straight faced. “That would be stupid.”
I couldn’t hold it any more; I had to pull over because I was laughing too hard to see the road. Emmett grumbled to himself while he waited for me to control myself. “Everyone laughs at me.” He muttered.
“I’m sorry.” I panted. “You must see that it’s funny that all your pets have had the same name, and that none of them lasted very long.”
“’s not funny. I loved my pets.” He pouted as I started driving again. “And Bob’s a perfectly good name.”
“Sure it is.” I muttered, my thoughts turning rapidly back towards Jasper. The nerves were now almost completely gone, replaced only be excitement. I knew that whatever Jasper had decided we should do would be perfect. He knew me well enough to know what I would and wouldn’t like to do, and really, even if he made a mistake and planned something awful, the day wouldn’t be a total waste because I’d be there with him.
“I got it!!!!! Lizards, how does Charlie feel about them?”
“What?” Somehow, I’d stopped listening again. I hoped I hadn’t missed anything too important.
“I said the store had loads of different lizards. Maybe one of them would be better. Is Charlie ok with them or does he hate all reptiles?”
I tried to catch up. Why did it matter if Charlie liked them or not? Oh God, he was still planning on keeping something at my house.
“I think Charlie just dislikes animals in general really, but he hates scaly things the most.” I wasn’t all that sure that sounded plausible, but there was no way I was going to end up saddled with some hideous creature living in a tank in my room.
“Pity.” He muttered, staring out of the window as we turned down the drive.
“Maybe you should just stick to fish. Get some that are less boring this time.” I suggested hopefully.
“I’m sick of fish. Unless… maybe I could get some piranhas, or a small shark.”
I said nothing. I was clearly having very little luck persuading him to drop the idea of a new pet, and I didn’t want to involve myself further. I loved Esme and Carlisle as well as if they were really my parents, and I really didn’t relish the idea of them somehow finding out I’d helped Emmett acquire a shark.
My truck crawled to a standstill by the garage as I risked one last glance at Emmett's impeccably made up face and stifled my giggles. He would surely get me back for this, but it was so worth it, and to be fair, he had done it to himself.
I had to run to the house to keep up with his massive strides, there was no way I was going to miss the reactions. He barrelled through the front door and into the living room with me hot on his heels. I prayed everyone was home as we wandered towards the kitchen. I could hear Rosalie's voice and what sounded like someone washing up.
Seconds later, Emmett and I came to a standstill, side by side on the opposite side of the breakfast bar from Jasper and Rose. Jasper looked me up and down, then did it again, and then grinned across at me. I briefly forgot about Emmett, gazing back at the beautiful man in front of me. He opened his mouth, then closed it again and continued to smile almost stupidly at me. Alice was right, he was speechless.
“Emmett... why...?” Rosalie's baffled voice, made us break eye contact long enough to look at her. I knew what she was talking about immediately, Jasper didn’t. He followed her eyes to Emmett's face and promptly doubled up laughing.
“What?” Emmett asked, turning to me for help as his wife joined in the laughter, though hers wasn’t as free as Jasper’s, she still looked somewhat horrified.
I wondered if I could get away with it. “Oh Emmett.” I gasped possibly a little too dramatically. “You forgot to take the makeup off.”
His expression changed from confusion to understanding, and finally he laughed. “I suppose you just didn’t notice until now?”
I adopted my very best look of wide eyed innocence and shook my head sorrowfully. Emmett raised one eyebrow, letting me know he didn’t believe me in the slightest and headed off to the nearest mirror to inspect his handiwork again.
Jasper righted himself, still chuckling while Rosalie looked at me for an explanation. “He was helping me with my makeup but I didn’t trust him so I made him do himself first.” I shrugged as Emmett came back into the room grinning.
“And I did a mighty fine job.” He commented. “We look kind of alike. I could pass for your much larger, manlier sister right now.”
The three of us stared at him for a minute before Rosalie broke the silence. “Do you think you could wash it off? It’s a little unsettling.” Emmett pouted and flew off upstairs, Rose right behind him, mumbling about locking up all of her cosmetics.
Jasper was staring at me again, this time with a new level of intensity that made me blush. “You look beautiful.” He whispered.
“Thank you.” I swallowed hard, suddenly nervous again. It was strange to be going on a first date when we seemed to be so far past that stage already. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going yet?”
“No.” He grinned, moving around the counter to pull me close to him. “But we can leave now if you’re ready.”
“I’m ready.” I grinned, shifting from foot to foot, at once eager to see where we were going, and wanting to stay here where it was familiar. Emmett's reappearance convinced me that it was best to leave soon, before he decided he would be following us.
“We can walk, which will take about an hour, or I can carry you and we’ll be there in five minutes.” Jasper whispered into my ear, making me shiver. Obviously, where ever he was taking me was somewhere we couldn’t drive to. Did that also mean that we would be the only people there? I hoped so. The thought of possibly being alone with Jasper in less than ten minutes made the choice clear. “Carry me!”
He scooped my up bridal style, letting my wrap my arms around his neck and give him a quick kiss.
Emmett stood blocking the door with his arms folded. “Where are you taking her?” The fact that he hadn’t done a very thorough job of removing his eyeliner did spoil the effect of his firm voice and threatening stance.
“It’s a surprise and I’m not going to ruin it by telling you now so that you can come and bother us later.” Jasper said firmly, and glanced over his shoulder as Rose came back downstairs.
“Well what time are you going to bring her home?” Emmett asked, not looking the least bit happy with Jasper’s previous answer.
“After breakfast.” Jasper smirked at his brother, and then glanced nervously down at me, as if he expected me to be upset that we were staying out all night. When had spending the night with him ever been anything other than perfect?
“No. No, I’m not allowing it. I want her home by ten.”
“Emmett, remember how we talked about this. Several times? Remember how you’re not my dad?” I complained. As much as I liked being in Jasper’s arms I did feel slightly stupid being held by the front door while they argued over the top of me.
Emmett’s glare faltered for a moment, and Rosalie took that as her cue to join in. “Emmett...” She purred, slinking around us to stand in front of him. He was already distracted as she ran her hand down his chest and pouted up at him. “I bought some new lingerie last week and I haven’t had a chance to show you yet. Would you mind coming upstairs for a while?”
I neither saw nor heard him answer her, but the doorway was suddenly empty and there was a clattering on the stairs, swiftly followed by a slamming door and giggling.
“Huge diamonds.” Jasper muttered as we stepped outside.
“What are you talking about?”
“Diamonds for Rosalie. She’s been such a help lately- she promised to keep Emmett distracted until at least lunch time tomorrow so that there was no chance of us being interrupted.” He adjusted his hold on me slightly and started running straight into the woods. I closed my eyes against the speed and tried to remember where you would end up if you went far enough in this direction. I didn’t know, but I didn’t really care either, so that was ok.
I could smell the snow and the trees as cold air whipped against my skin, tickling rather than burning, letting me know Jasper was moving far more slowly than he was capable of, but still far faster than any speeds I could hope to achieve. Letting my forehead rest against his neck I registered the way the weather had made him colder than I was used to. I hoped wherever he was taking me it was warm. Of course, I’d put up with the cold to be with him, but I’d rather be warm.
Jasper spoke, but the words were carried away before my ears could pick them up. Though I knew he probably wasn’t saying anything important, I wished I’d heard them. I didn’t like missing anything that involved him if I could help it.
Soon, much sooner it seemed than the five minutes he’d promised, we slowed and stopped. I opened my eyes to find we were stood in what looked like an overgrown garden. The way the snow lightly blanketed everything gave the place an almost magical feel. Jasper set me down and waited for me to get my bearings. Footprints marked a path between a border of what seemed to be smallish shrubs, and I followed the path with my eyes until I saw a cottage.
It was the sort of cottage you see on Christmas cards, the covering of snow making it look almost cake like. Masses of sleeping ivy and honeysuckle covered so much of the walls that I was unsure what colour they might be, and most of the windows were little more than small gaps in the green and brown curtain. I felt Jasper take my hand and begin leading me towards the front door, an old wooden thing with a few scanty chips of blue paint still clinging to the warped wood.
It was perfect.
“What is this place?” I was little embarrassed at how awed I sounded. It was only a ruined cottage after all, but to me it was beautiful.
“It’s mine. Well, I’m the only one who comes here. It’s on the edge of our property.” He explained, and somehow, the little house became even more special. He had brought me to a place that was his. When he spoke again he sounded nervous. “Would you like to go inside? It isn’t much better on the inside but I’ve done my best to clean it up.”
I tugged him forward, curiosity getting the better of me. When he opened the door, with what looked like a well practised wriggle of the handle, I was amazed. Though I hadn’t had any time in which to form expectations, I was pleasantly surprised by what I found. As the door creaked open the first thing to hit me was the heat, inside the little house it was deliciously cozy. The room we entered was tiny, only large enough to take four steps forward or two to the side, and seemed to be an entrance hall. The door, held to the wall by a single hinge was open, revealing a larger room beyond.
The second room was alive with light. In the centre of the far wall stood a fire place, already roaring and spreading its heat into the room, warming my cold hands and face. Candles in vases, glasses and jars of every description and colour stood on the floor around the walls and clustered together over the mantle piece. The light played across the walls in rainbows of flickering colour.
I took a few steps further into the room, worn oak boards groaned quietly in protest. Like the walls, they were dull and faded, but obviously clean. Everything was remarkably clean, and I could smell the faintest scent of something lemony over the deep woodiness of the fire.
On the floor, a few feet from the fire pillows, cushions, quilts and even a huge beanbag sat heaped together, inviting me to throw myself onto them. An open bottle of wine and a single glass waited beside the ‘bed’, the light of the fire glowing orange red through the liquid inside.
Beneath the rooms largest window, this one less obscured by ivy than the others, stood a camping stove, a cool box and a small table.
“Is this... is it ok?” I couldn’t understand how he could possibly not know how very ok this was. “I just wanted to do something for you, for us, and nowhere was open. I should have waited. I’m sorry, this was stupid.”
“Jasper, this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.” I told him, turning away from the room to face him, and letting my happiness well up and take over to make sure he could feel it. “It couldn’t be more perfect.”
A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth and his shoulders relaxed. “You like it?”
“I love it.”
___________________________________________
Watching Jasper cook was an experience I would treasure. He was usually so sure of himself, but as he poked experimentally at the steak he looked absolutely terrified. I could hear him muttering under his breath and moved closer, hoping he would be distracted enough not to hear me before I heard him. Luck was on my side.
“You’ve done this twice already Jasper, this is exactly the same. She said three minutes. This is not complicated, you chose something easy. You can do this.”
I bit my tongue and edged quietly back to my place by the fire. I was so tempted to take over so he wouldn’t have to worry, but it was obvious that this was something he wanted to do. I contented myself by turning over the baked potato he’d forgotten about after he’d nestled it in the flames and hoped he wouldn’t notice I was helping on the sly.
The warmth of the fire and the quiet music soothed me, lulling me almost to sleep as I curled up on the huge beanbag. Jasper brought me a glass of wine, waiting nervously for my verdict. It was sweet and fruity, much nicer than anything Renee had ever given me to try, and I wondered what had made him choose it as he couldn’t possibly have known what it tasted like. I smiled and nodded, too relaxed to do much else, and he went back to his little stove.
“How often do you come here?” I asked him as I stretched my feet towards the fire.
“It depends.” He shrugged, keeping his back to me as he spoke. “This is where I come to be alone. Feeling the emotions of others all the time gets difficult sometimes, and the house if far enough away that when I’m here I only have to feel my own. The others know not to come out here.”
So this was his place. And he’d brought me here. It made it more special, made me feel special really, that he was sharing this place with me.
“The last few months I’ve come here more than I used to. At first it was to escape their pity. They all tried to help me, but they always pitied me too, and I hated that, I felt weak enough already. But the more time I spent with you, the less they needed to pity me, and I found myself coming here just to think about you. Without anyone else around it was easier to pretend you were with me. This is where I made most of my plans, in the beginning, I was thinking of ways to stop myself from really loving you. That only lasted a few days.”
He turned to face me, lighting up my insides with a rueful smile I hadn’t seen before. I wondered how long it would take me to discover all his expressions, to learn every smile and what each one meant. I could quite happily spend all eternity watching him.
“Once I realised I was truly head over heals in love with you, my plans changed. I started thinking of ways to make you like me, analysing your every emotion, and later, trying to pluck up the courage to tell you how I felt. I started trying to fix this place up then, hoping it could be somewhere for us one day, instead of just somewhere for me.”
I glanced about the room again, wondering what exactly he’d fixed up. While clean, everything looked fairly old, and in some cases almost derelict. I knew he could have set the room up like this in half an hour, but he was implying he had started doing something months ago.
His chuckle smoothed the frown from my face, and I assumed he caught the gist of my thoughts.
“All I’ve got done is the bathroom. I’ll show you after dinner, it’s nothing special, and there’s no hot water yet, but it’s functional.”
Again I was touched by him thinking of it. Not only had he brought me to his place, he was changing it for me too. This was where he came to escape, and it seemed he was mainly escaping the emotions of others. While I was here he certainly couldn’t be feeling only his own. I worried I would be taking away the one place he had to feel like himself alone.
“I love that you’ve brought me here, and that you’re fixing the place up, but doesn’t my being here sort of defeat the purpose of you being here. You still have to feel me after all.”
“I like feeling you Bella.” He purred.
I tried very hard to ignore his tone and the double meaning of his words as my cheeks prickled. “You know what I mean.”
“Bella, your emotions aren’t as strong as theirs for one thing, and for another, why on earth would I mind being blanketed in love all the time?” He grinned. “You feel love more than any other emotion. I like feeling what you’re feeling anyway, it’s like an extra link between us.”
“You have an unfair advantage.” I grumbled. I wished I could feel his feelings too. He complied with my silent request instantly and for a few seconds I felt dizzy, trying to separate everything I was feeling and make sense of it. The warm glow of love I felt whenever I thought of him was more than doubled, I felt almost as if I was being dazzled. Beneath it was happiness, contentment and excitement, they were all familiar too. But something else encroached on that, and though the feeling was weaker by far than the others, it spoilt them, made them less than what they were.
It took me almost a minute to place it, possibly because I hadn’t felt it myself for a while. Inadequacy, guilt and nestling alongside them, just a hint of shame. It baffled me.
“What? I mean, why?” I fought past the strength of his gift, the almost tangible feelings slowing my mind and found some middle ground. I could still feel everything, but I could think clearly too. “What are you ashamed of? Why don’t you feel good enough?”
As soon as I’d asked I wanted to take it back. I felt as if I’d read his diary, or opened a box of secret things I never should have touched. He took control again, leaving me with only my own emotions, and I felt suddenly bereft. My own didn’t seem like enough anymore.
“I am ashamed of many things Bella, with a past like mine it’s difficult not to be, and the guilt is always going to be there, no matter what. And how could I ever hope to be good enough for you?”
“But you are good enough for me. I didn’t think I was good enough for you, but I am and you are. It’s just the way it is. We’re exactly right.” I didn’t have any of the right words to explain it, I couldn’t even really explain it to myself in my head, but something in me knew, without doubt, that I would always love Jasper and that he would always love me. There was no question. And that was enough.
“And I wish you wouldn’t still feel guilty. I know you did a lot of terrible things, and there is nothing you can do about that. What matters is that you’re not doing them now. You’ve learnt to be a better man. Can’t you feel proud of yourself for that instead?”
His smile was wistful, almost hopeful. “Maybe one day.”
“Good.” I announced, vowing to help him with that in any way I could. “Now give them back.”
“Give what back?”
“Your feelings, I miss them.” It was true, I did. I was somehow more complete, and in a strange way more myself when I could feel him too.
Once again there was a dizzying moment of confusion before I tidied them up again. The love was stronger, the inadequacy less noticeable. I had helped just a little, but it would do for now.
“Spiders.” I blurted my mind moving on to a new topic.
Jasper jumped and scanned the floor and walls. “Where?”
Laughter threatened, but the genuine fear on his face helped me tame it. “No where.” I said quickly. “That’s the point. This place should be full of them, but there are none. Not even any cobwebs.”
His shoulders slumped. “Every time I come up here I put citronella everywhere. It keeps them away.” He explained his back to me once again. That explained that lemony smell anyway. The thought of Jasper hiding away from spiders amused me even more now than it had when he’d first told me.
I enjoyed a few minutes of imagining him standing on chairs to avoid tiny little spiders. He started feeling a bit irritated and I gathered he’d guessed what I was thinking about.
He told me everything would be ready in five minutes, and I carefully turned over the potato again before standing up. I needed to wake up a little before I ate something so I wandered to the door hoping the cool air would work for me.
I took in more of the garden this time, noticing a little stone birdbath, what I was sure would be roses come spring, and even a small pond. I didn’t want to ever have to leave here. This place already somehow felt like home, despite the fact that it had none of the things I really needed. Goosebumps began to creep across my arms and my head felt much clearer so I wandered back into the living room. Not that it was really a living room, just the only room that was in any way liveable.
Back in the house Jasper was plating up my food and I reminded myself to thank him later for putting up with a bloody steak for me. Glancing quickly at his eyes when he smiled at me showed they were still a deep toffee colour, so the blood couldn’t have bothered him too badly.
I tried to make sure where I was sitting was fairly stable, not wanting my clumsiness to ruin the food that smelled delicious, and that Jasper had put a lot of effort into.
“Shit!” He shouted. He turned towards the fire, pulled out the foil wrapped potato with his bare hands, and unwrapped it so that it fell onto the little table. I grinned to myself as I felt panic, then incredulity and finally watched relief flood his face when he realised it wasn’t ruined. Luckily he had little enough experience with food that he didn’t seem to suspect I had anything to do with it.
“I hope you’re hungry.” He laughed, and my stomach chose that moment to growl loudly.
He set a tray on my lap, and the plate on it was huge. The steak looked perfect, as did the potato and sour cream. He’d even fried a huge mushroom for me, something I loved. He sat down beside me as I cut into the meat, holding the wine bottle in one hand and a small bowl of salad in the other.
Everything was delicious, and as I ate Jasper told me stories. I learnt that he had a brother that used to get him into trouble all the time when they were children. He told me about seeing the pyramids by moonlight with Alice and Edward and climbing Mount Everest with Emmett because they thought it would be fun. He had a way with words that made me feel like I’d been there with him.
When I finished eating he asked me about my life, and I told him about Renee’s crazy schemes and my usually futile attempts to curb the insanity. I told him about making mud pies with Jacob and going to work with Charlie when I was little. At some point the dishes disappeared and we ended up curled up on the pillows at the fire side.
___________________________________________
Jasper
Things couldn’t have gone better so far. Bella looked beautiful, she genuinely liked the house, I hadn’t ruined the food, and she said the wine was lovely. I was sorely tempted to get up and do some sort of happy dance, but something told me that might wreck the mood.
Letting down my own internal barriers was always a relief. I naturally projected everything I felt to a certain extent, and being able to do that always made me feel better. Since meeting Alice, I had done it only once in her presence and she didn’t like it. She told me it was suffocating. At the time her reaction hadn’t bothered me in the least, I often felt bombarded by other people’s emotions, and I was used to it. For her it had been too much.
Tonight was the second time I’d shown Bella my feelings. The first time had been only a few days ago on the way home from the hospital, and I’d only shown her how I felt about her, carefully controlling how much I allowed her to feel. This time I had let her feel everything, and she had reacted completely opposite to the way Alice had.
When she asked me to show her again, after I’d hidden the feelings away, I felt almost as if a whole new part of me had come to life. She not only accepted that part of me, she liked it.
I was amazed by how much she actually cared about the little stories I was telling her. Her feelings matched mine throughout each story. It was a strange experience for me. I’d never been much of a talker and I’d certainly never felt this need to share things with anyone before. I liked it though, particularly taking about my human days and my family was soothing. I wondered how I had spent sixty years with Alice without ever telling her my brother’s name, or the fact that we lived on a small farm. I didn’t seem possible that she had never cared to ask and I had never cared to tell her.
As much as I was beginning to enjoy talking, I found I enjoyed Bella’s stories more than my own. Her mother sounded like a real character, and I could tell that while Bella felt some irritation towards her, she loved her deeply. Every tale taught me something new about her. With a mother like Renee it became easy to see why she had bonded so easily with Esme, I saw that though she didn’t often show it she loved Charlie enormously and was extremely proud of him.
When she talked about her vague memories of La Push I felt a sort of longing coming from her, which I put down to her missing the simpler times as a child.
Then she started talking about me. She told me in detail, about every moment that had led to her falling in love, and about her struggle to squash the feelings in the beginning partly because of Edward and partly because of the conviction that I didn’t feel the same. My favourite part of this story was the way she said she couldn’t sleep without me. It proved to me that she needed me as much as I needed her. It was a first for both of us. Neither of us had ever been in a relationship as equals really. The fact that I was a vampire ceased to matter in any way, because it simply wasn’t a problem for us.
My thoughts triggered a memory. “You told me once that I don’t make you cold. Is that true?”
She smiled and nodded her head, then frowned. “Well, sort of. Being around you makes me feel warm, and I guess that staves off the cold. Plus, I warm you up, so after a while, you’re not cold anymore anyway.”
I couldn’t resist. “So what you’re saying is, I make you hot?”
“Yes.” She grinned, half a second later her eyes widened and crimson crossed her cheeks. “I mean no.”
She was throwing off a lovely mix of embarrassment, anticipation and desire. “No?” My voice came out lower than I intended as I got caught up in her emotions, adding fuel to mine. In the space of a second I had her beneath me, wide eyes staring up at me with huge pupils. I lightly kissed both corners of her mouth before kissing her properly, and deliberately pulling away when she made a move to deepen the kiss. “Are you sure I don’t make you hot?”
Her breath came raggedly between swollen, parted lips. I was sure I was going to win this one, and leant up on my elbows to wait for her to give in. This had the added bonus of bringing our hips closer together.
I got a little worried when instead of confirming what I’d said, a slow smile spread across her face and she wriggled beneath me. “Maybe it’s me that makes you hot.” She suggested huskily. While a part of me wanted to deny it, to win the game, a much larger part of me was telling me to give in. Giving in meant kissing Bella, and possibly getting that little red scrap of a top off. I was only a man after all.
“You win.” I agreed, probably too fast for her to hear. “It’s all you.” The next ten minutes were spent making her breathless again. I kissed her, enjoying the way she always kissed me back with equal fervour. The way she trusted me so completely, even when my lips were against her pulse point filled me with confidence in myself and in us.
While kissing her was wonderful, it just wasn’t enough, for either of us. I so wished I hadn’t spent so long avoiding real hunting trips, waiting for this one was driving me mad. I paused for a moment to take stock of the situation. As usual, I felt no desire for her blood. I wasn’t even thirsty at all.
While the possibilities certainly weren’t endless at this moment in time, I felt sure enough of my control that exploring all available possibilities seemed like a brilliant idea.
When Bella tugged my mouth back to hers, I took the opportunity to slip my hands behind her neck to the ties of her shirt. She stilled beneath me as I pulled gently on one of the ribbons but then shifted, allowing me better access as her lips resumed their game.
The free exchange of emotions amplified everything, making even the lightest touch seem incredibly intimate. As my fingers brushed against the heated skin on the back of her neck I felt her lust increase, my own grew, projected back at her and again fed mine in turn. In seconds one tiny touch had us both gasping.
Finally her top came undone in my hands, the silky material at the front went slack and I pushed it downwards without waiting for further permission. Her bra was red with black polka dots but otherwise plain. Nothing about it distracted me for more than a quarter of a second, leaving me free to appreciate the soft swell of her breasts above it for a moment before Bella became impatient and starting trying to remove my shirt.
This time, there was no need to stop her or to worry about what she would think. This time there was only us. She pushed me upwards and sat up in front of me, biting her lip as she fumbled through each button. My hands found their way to her hips, stroked across her waist and around to the small of her back, tracing patterns and raising goose bumps on her skin.
My shirt fell open and Bella’s hands ghosted over my skin drawing the same patterns in sync. I pulled her onto my lap, bringing her lips back to mine as she pushed the material off my shoulders bringing us almost skin to skin. We would have to stop soon if there was any hope of keeping to the guidelines Carlisle had given me, but I was determined to squeeze in a little more before we broke apart.
I listened carefully ensuring we were truly alone this time before I brought my hands up to the clasp of her bra. I was sure Bella was well aware of my intentions, and I expected to feel at least a little apprehension, but none came. My fingers were less cooperative than usual but they still got the job done in under a second.
Our bodies were so close that the spotty material was trapped between us, still separating us, which just wasn’t good enough in my opinion. Bella solved the problem herself while I was busy being distracted by a particularly sweet spot on her collar bone.
She moved backwards half an inch, the cloth fell away and her nipples brushed against my chest, making her gasp. A wealth of words flew to mind in that moment, but her name was the only one I spoke as my gift overcame us both.
Bella hips rocked against mine as she rode her climax, then fell against me as if she had no bones left in her body. It took me several minutes to break through the fog surrounding me. I stoked my fingers through her hair in wonder. That had never happened before. I had often had little choice but to feel the lust of others, and living with Emmett and Rosalie it was a fairly regular occurrence, but it had never affected me like this before.
I fell back against the pillows, pulling Bella with me and still revelling in our uninterrupted closeness. She was tired and would be asleep in minutes and I wanted a few more moments with her before I went to get cleaned up. I knew she was blushing when I felt the extra heat against my neck.
“Wow.” She laughed quietly.
I grinned like the Cheshire cat and kissed the top of her head. “Yeah.”
An: Now to answer a few questions, no this fic isn’t over, no I haven’t abandoned it, and no, I’m not neglecting it for my other story. I’ve just been busy. Oh, and I forgot, I’m not dead, though I’m fairly sure you’ve gathered that by now lol. It’s three in the morning and I’m knackered, so maybe you could leave me some lovely reviews to wake up to... please?
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