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Courtesan	By : Shelindrea Category: Twilight Series > Het > Jacob/Renesmee Views: 4787 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 26
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NPOV
After meeting with the king, travel plans became the priority of the day. Alistair agreed to cover Jasper's classes and to have Bree pack trunks for us and accompany them to Cullen Estates. Alice was certain that the girl would be beside herself at the prospect of travel. Edward and Carlisle made arrangements for two carriages and a luggage cart. Two couples would ride in one carriage and the other in the second. Because Bella was growing heavy with child, she and Edward would ride solo, and the Whitlocks would chaperone Jacob and I.
The trip generally took a day and a half, but it was decided that for Bella's sake, we would adopt a more leisurely pace. Jasper knew of several lovely inns along the route, and we planned to spend at least two evenings sleeping in them.
Jacob and I sat side by side on the soft leather squabs across from Alice and Jasper. They kept up conversation nicely, but all I really wanted was a moment alone with Jacob. He was polite and social, charming Alice with his stories of horses and travel. Jasper seemed to find him a convivial companion. He made friends easily and had a way of making everyone feel at ease.
He reached my hand to loop his pinky with my own, and at first, I stiffened out of fear for this open display of affection, but then I remembered it was not taboo and relaxed leaning into his side. He squeezed my finger once, and I smiled as I squeezed his in return. It was a small intimacy and perfectly chaste, but I suddenly felt safer and more connected to him. Throughout the first few hours of the ride, we seemed to communicate through the touching of our fingers.
We stopped at a small town to stretch our legs and have a small meal at the public house. Jasper exited the carriage and eased Alice down. Then Jacob did me the same favor, placing his hands at my waist and steadying me as I regained my feet. The moment I was steady, however, his hands were again at his sides and he stood a respectful distance away from me. It felt like a gulf had opened between us and I hated it.
Edward and Jasper offered their ladies their arms to lead them into the public house. Jacob stood next to me a moment and then began to walk toward the door. I felt myself shrink some and made to follow him, but before I had taken twosteps, he seemed to remember himself. He turned around in quickly, his eyes apologetic and took my hand looping it at his elbow. My eyes had fallen to the earth, and I was fighting the discomfort I had felt at his willingness to have me follow as I once had. Then I felt his finger raising my chin.
"Dearest one, you must forgive me. I have worked so hard to remember not to reach for you in public that I have many bad habits to break. Can you forgive my ungentlemanly behavior?"
I raised my eyes to his handsome face and saw the regret in his eyes. "There will likely be many things we must relearn," I soothed. "Still, there is no one I would rather learn with than you." I raised my hand to cup his cheek and earned a smile.
"Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to dine?"
"Gladly," I answered and we joined our party in the private room.
A fine meal was delivered to us; boiled ham, new potatoes with parsley and butter, and fine field greens dressed in light vinaigrette. Jacob pulled out a seat for me and took a seat beside me. I sat with my hands in my lap waiting for the others to be served when I heard Alice clear her throat lightly. My eyes flew to her face, and I saw her raise an eyebrow. It was her reminder to me that I no longer needed to wait for my betters to eat, for we were all equals. I sent her an apologetic look and mouthed an apology, to which she smiled and gave the slightest nod. However, before I could rectify my error by asking for a dish, Jacob kindly filled my trencher with a slice of ham. I turned to look at him and all he did was smile. He did the same with each of the offered dishes and then turned to me and asked me if I cared for wine.
I nodded and he poured me a goblet. Before I could reach for it, his hand was there handing it to me. Our fingers touched as the glass was exchanged, and I felt a sudden heat flood me. My eyes met his onyx orbs, and I was certain that he was feeling it too. I do not know how long we gazed before I hear Edward's soft chuckle.
"I wonder if they are even aware we are in the room?" he teased.
"I have never felt so superfluous," added Jasper.
"Leave them be, both of you," Bella said in our defense.
"They seem to forget when they looked at us like that," Alice said, nudging Jasper in the ribs.
I had broken eye contact with Jacob and could feel the blush rise upon my cheeks. I cut a small piece of ham and placed it in my mouth, trying to appear busy.
"How much farther do we travel this day?" Alice asked attempting to change the subject and ease my discomfort.
"Another few hours," Jasper explained. "I sent ahead to the inn asking them to reserve rooms for us, so we should have no worries. I even arranged for baths to be brought to the rooms, so that you ladies could soak away the residue of travel."
"How thoughtful, thank you Jasper," Bella beamed at him.
"Well," he demurred, "as we travel with two soon to be mothers, I felt they should be given royal treatment."
My eyes flew to Alice's face and she nodded to me. "Oh Alice, what wonderful news."
"Carlisle confirmed it just this morning," she confessed.
"I believe we must change carriages," Bella announced. "Let the women ride in one and you gentlemen in the other. We need some time to be ladies and discuss this marvelous news."
And so it was Bella, Alice, and I in one carriage, and Edward, Jasper, and Jacob in the other. We rode on, laughing and talking as I had never laughed before. Who would have imagined that I would call these two fine ladies friend?
"Have you decided upon any names?" Alice asked Bella.
"There a few we have discussed, but we have not finalized any between us. Edward vacillates so as to his preference for male or female, that he cannot seem to settle on either and focus on names," she laughed.
"I believe Jasper is still in shock about our impending progeny. Especially after all that I had been through at the hands of…" Alice paused and swallowed back the pain that still remained from her ordeal. "Let us say that we had all but given up hope of being blessed in this way."
"All is well with you though, is it not?" I asked concern flooding me. I had come to love Alice dearly and could not bear the thought of her in distress.
She smiled her beautiful smile and nodded. "Carlisle has assured me that the child grows well and that everything looks as it should."
"I would trust no one above him, except perhaps Edward," Bella beamed.
"How does it feel?" I asked them.
"Being with child?" Bella asked.
"That and sharing that blessing with the man you love?"
"Oh Ness, it is just… Well, it means you carry a part of them inside yourself. There is a bond it creates that is so deep and all encompassing. I have not the words," Bella said a glow lighting her beautiful visage.
"I agree, and in our case it is even more, for we never imagined we would have such a blessing," Alice added.
I smiled at them. I was so terribly happy for them, and yet I felt hollowness within me. I had dreamed of it, but had never imagined that a life that included marriage and family were within reach. Now Jacob had implied that was exactly the fate within my reach. I bit my lip thinking about that. I was so uncertain about how this was to occur. I must have frowned, for Alice interrupted my reverie, as she so often did.
"Nessie, I see that mind of yours churning. What distresses you, friend?"
"I feel at sixes and sevens. I know that I love Jacob, and he says he loves me, but neither of us seems completely at ease with my new circumstances. I am afraid that I do not know how to behave in this role. I am unfamiliar with the customs associated with courtship, and I fear I will behave in a manner that will cause Jacob to change his mind."
To Alice's credit she did not laugh, nor did Bella. Instead she smiled and took my hand in her own. "There is nothing you could do to change that man's mind, believe me. I have seen the way he looks at you."
"She is right, Ness. He is just as awkward as you are at this point, and I think you need to remember that. He is bound to err; after all, he is a man. What you must remember is that you must be honest with him. Tell him what you want, and what you do not. I feel quite strongly that if you do that, and listen to his desires in turn, you two will find happiness," Bella advised.
"There is no road map to your courtship, Ness. I am the only other slave to wed, as far as I am aware, and Jasper was my savior. There was no doubt that we would journey this world together. I believe if you want that with Jacob it can be yours. You need only trust."
"I do trust Jacob," I stated with conviction.
"That is not what I meant, Ness. The person you need to trust is you."
JPOV
"You are doing well, my friend," Jasper said clapping me on the back.
"Then why do I feel like a man trying to break a nervous mount? She seems so skitterish. I do not wish to frighten her or to show her any disrespect."
"You have never been disrespectful of her. Even when she dangled upon your chain, you treated her with kindness and consideration. Why do you think I gave her to you? I knew she was safe in your care," Edward explained.
"This is new to you both. Her freedom means that you must redefine much of your relationship."
"I could use any advice you have for me, Jasper."
"Unfortunately, I have little. Alice was never my servant, I met her as a slave, that is true, but she never served me. There was no awkwardness between us in that regard because we never played the part of master and slave."
I nodded. It was true he had not stood over Alice, as I had Ness. I was so torn. I wanted to hold her, kiss her, and declare to the world that she was mine, but she was no longer mine. She was her own, and I could only have her if she so desired. I had tried to give her that freedom while she served me, but in truth had I pushed my advantage at any time it was her duty to acquiesce.
"Jake, women are funny creatures," Edward explained. "Still, I know enough of them to know that honesty is a sure way to earn their trust. Be honest with her and you will find your way, I have no doubt."
Three hours later, we pulled into a fine inn. It was teaming with slaves who gathered our traveling bags, while others tended to the horses and carriages. We helped the ladies into the inn and saw them seated in a private dining room while we sorted out the accommodations.
"Are you quite certain?" I heard Jasper say to the innkeeper.
"I am afraid so, Sir. We have our three best rooms available, but the rest are full. I am sorry, but there is naught I can do."
Jasper sighed and nodded, thanking the man. He then returned to Edward and me. "There is a situation we must discuss with the ladies," he said leading the way to the private room. When we entered our three loves were laughing rather heartily. Nessie's smile was exquisite and it warmed my heart to see it. We took our seats around the table and Edward and Jasper took their wives' hands in their own.
"I hate to break up this jocularity, but we have a situation to discuss," Jasper said solemnly.
"Is all well, my dearest?" Alice asked her concern evident in her tone.
"Not to worry, Alice," he soothed, "It is simply that they have one less room that we expected. Instead of four there are only three. So, we must discuss arrangements for slumber."
Three rooms, one for each couple. I felt my manhood tighten at the thought of spending the night in the arms of my love. Then I realized the impropriety of such an arrangement. No single free woman would spend the night with a man in an inn, it would ruin their reputation. I could not expose Ness to censure.
"Jasper and I will have to bunk together, and then Alice and Ness can share a room," I said decisively.
"That is an option, certainly," Jasper agreed, but he had an odd tone to his voice.
"I would prefer to sleep with my husband," Alice said calmly, "especially in a strange bed."
"Then Edward and I could share. It will give Bella and Nessie a change to catch up," I proposed.
No one spoke for a moment, and then Renesmee rose from the table and excused herself quietly. She did not look back, but I noticed her posture was crestfallen as she sped from the room. I stood, but Bella halted me, grabbing my arm. "Jacob Black you are a fool."
"What did I do?"
"Bella, you explain to him, I shall go and see if I can find and calm Renesmee."
Jasper POV
I exited the common room into the courtyard and looked about for Ness. She was nowhere in sight, but she could not have gotten far. I stopped a youth who had assisted with the travel bags. "Did you happen to see a young woman come this way?"
"Yes, Master," the boy answered, "if you seek the copper haired lady from your party, she went to the stables with Mica."
"Thank you, lad."
I proceeded into the stables and saw her seated on a bale of hay, head in hands, and shoulders shaking. I walked up to her and kneeled before her.
"What are you doing hiding in here, Ness?"
"I thought to ask if there was room in here for a body to rest. I do not wish for anyone to be discomfited on my account. I can sleep here, then no one need be inconvenienced. You and Edward belong with your wives, especially with their delicate conditions."
"Where do you belong, Sweet, surely not in a barn, taking your rest on a hay bale?"
"I have no idea where I belong," she opined. "I thought to seek shelter in the kennels, but there is no place for me there, and Jacob was clear in his preference to not lie beside me."
"Are you certain that was his aim? I would guess that his thoughts were only of you."
She raised her face to look at me, confusion written in her eyes. I knew she was feeling rejected and lost, but I also knew that I was not the one to ease her pain. I stood, taking her hand in mine and gently pulled her to her feet.
"Where are we going?" she inquired.
"To find Jacob."
"No, please, Jasper, I cannot face him right now." She planted her feet to halt my forward momentum.
"What does Alice tell you?" I asked.
"To remember who I am and act accordingly."
"Just so, now, I have never seen you shy from a challenge. If we need to rearrange rooms, so be it, but you will sleep abed this night."
She took a deep steadying breath, wiped her tears, and squared her shoulders. "Very well," she said with conviction and allowed me to lead her to the courtyard. Before we had taken ten steps, we were face to face with Jacob. He looked stricken the moment he beheld her. I released her hand and clapped him on the shoulder as I passed him. "Pray mend what you have damaged, friend, or I shall have to school you in the harshest way."
JPOV
Bella shook her head at me and sighed. "What were you thinking?"
"I was thinking of Ness and her reputation. I thought to protect her from censure and derision," I explained.
"Well, what you succeeded in doing was making her think you wanted nothing to do with her."
"I…What?"
"You spoke as if sleeping next to her was the last thing you wished to do. She has no concept of protecting her reputation, Jake. She is not some sheltered virgin who has never known your bed. She is the same Ness you kept by your side even when traveling. You meant to protect her, but instead I fear you have confused and frightened her. She is a woman, Jake, one who is fully capable of making her own decisions. She has no reputation to protect, because until you freed her she did not exist in society. Her only reputation lies within this small circle of friends, and do you truly believe we would judge her harshly?"
"Oh, God," I moaned feeling wretched. "What do I do?"
"Tell her your reasoning, and then let her decide what she wants," Alice advised. "Give her honesty and require it of her."
That made sense. I nodded and went to find my heart. I had just reached the courtyard when I saw Jasper leading her from the stable. I paused before them and Jasper clapped me in the shoulder as he passed, whispering "Pray mend what you have damaged, friend, or I shall have to school you in the harshest way."
Ness looked pale and her eyes were rimmed with red. I had caused this, and I felt the full weight of my sin. I would rectify this.
"Will you walk with me, Ness?" I said offering her my arm.
She looked leery, but after a moment slipped her hand into the crook of my arm and allowed me to lead her from the courtyard to a small copse of trees a small distance away. We walked in silence until I could seat her on the ground and lower myself to her side. She kept her eyes averted, and I feared her anger.
"I fear I owe you an apology," I stated bluntly.
"You owe me nothing."
"That is untrue, my love, I owe you everything, but I will begin with an explanation."
She shook her head and looked down. Then she raised her eyes to mine and a look of determination glowed in her face. "Very well, I shall hear your explanation."
"Not here," I said leading her to the stairs and up to our room. I loved the sound of that in my head, 'our room.' We entered and I threw the bolt across the door. I led her to a chair and helped her take her seat. Her wide eyes looked weary, and I was at a loss as to how to right the wrong I had done.
"Ness," I sighed, "if I gave the impression that I did not wish to share a room with you, I beg your forgiveness. Nothing could be further from the truth."
"Then why did you seek to avoid it?"
"My concern was you, Love. As a free woman, you will have a place in society, and I want you to be respected and admired," I explained. "I owe you that respect. I simply wanted to safeguard you from any criticism that could come your way. That, and as I told you, I want to woo you in the proper fashion."
"I care nothing for the opinion of the world, Jacob. I care only for the opinion of those I love."
"And I care only for you. Therefore, I will make myself a pallet by the fire and allow you to take your rest within the softness of the bed."
Her browns knit together in confusion. "Nay, if one of us is to sleep on the floor let it be me. You are not accustomed to such hard living."
"I cannot allow that," I said kneeling before her.
"Then perhaps we could compromise."
"What did you have in mind?"
"It would not be the first time we have shared a bed…"
"No," I agreed.
"Then come," she said leading me to the bed.
I was worried that she was doing this because she thought it was expected. I wanted her to feel safe and free with me; I wanted from her what I had always wanted, her freely given heart and soul.
"Do you want me, Jacob?"
I did, but I wanted this to be about her wants, not my own.
"Where are we?" she asked in a pointed fashion. "Here in this room or any sleeping chamber there must be nothing but truth between us. Do you understand?"
I nodded mesmerized by the fact that she was throwing my own words back at me in such a seductive and engaging fashion.
"Good. Now I ask you again, do you want me?"
"More than anything," I confessed.
Then I pulled her into my arms. She raised her head, and I pressed my lips to her own. The kiss was incredible and caused a flame to burn across my skin making my manhood rigid as a stone tower. I slid my arm beneath her knees and swept her up into my arms, bending her down to the bed.
I had not the words to express how deeply I needed Ness, but I thought showing her might convince her how much I needed and desired her. I drank her in, our lips and tongues tasting and exploring one another, remembering and discovering what made the other moan or sigh. My hands began to untie her dress' chorded waist, when she pulled back and looked at me, her dark eyes smoky and hooded. "You do not have to do this," she sighed.
I took her hand and placed it at the apex of my thighs. "Yes, love, I really do."
This earned a smile and a small laugh. She cupped my shaft through my breeches, and I moaned. "I would not have accepted anything less than your desire. I am glad to find it so honestly displayed. Now then," she whispered in my ear provocatively, "perhaps we should get on with it."
That was all it took, we were undressing each other with a speed that caused a few awkward moments. I tore the seam of her gown trying to free her of it, and she somehow got caught in my tunic as she pulled it from my head. Still, eventually we were lying on the bed exactly as we were born, and we lay beside each other drinking in the sight before us.
Ness was even more beautiful than I remembered. Her hair glistened in the waning sun which streamed through the curtained window. I found myself staring into her lovely face, as she stared into mine. We were both breathless, yet all we had done was kiss. "Do you remember the first time we were together?" I asked her.
"Every moment of it," she answered.
"Then I ask you, do you desire me, for I will not touch you if you do not desire it," I said recalling the words we had spoken that night.
She smiled and leaned into my shoulder. "I have never wanted anything as I want you," she said kissing my collar bone and easing her hands against the muscles in my arms.
I rolled her onto her back and looked deeply into her eyes. "Then as you said, here, in my arms, in our chamber, let there be only truth between us."
"No," she said. I stopped myself from taking her when she said that. I was confused, but the she smiled and said "no matter where we are, or what we are doing, let there only be truth between us."
"I believe I can live with that."
"Then make me yours, Jacob, because I cannot live another moment without you."
With that, I slid myself home. She rose to meet my every thrust. We moved as one, taking and giving, needing and providing, each touch a promise, each kiss a vow. We rode the wave of our passion which fairly burst from each of us. It had been too long since I had held her, too long since I had felt her liquid heat enfold me. Our breathing was erratic and our rhythm frantic until we reached our mutual peak and tumbled over in tandem. I moaned and released myself deep within her, while she clutched my back and screamed my name. For the first time in months, I felt whole, complete.
We drifted to sleep in each other's arms, only to wake and make love again and again. By dawn, I knew I could not wait to make her my wife, and that I would never allow her to be parted from me ever again.
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Courtesan