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Courtesan	By : Shelindrea Category: Twilight Series > Het > Jacob/Renesmee Views: 4787 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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Chapter 30
JPOV
As we traveled to Port Angeles Nessie remained tucked into my side. She dozed easily as if she hadn't a care in the world. I was beside myself, but I was grateful that she was at ease, even if I could not fathom how. When she had announced that she thought we should share our intentions to marry with my sister in person I was aghast. I could not imagine a favorable outcome to such a situation. I attempted to dissuade her in her aim, but she was adamant. She said that as my only living relative Emily deserved the chance to hear the news from us.
"I do not think that is wise, Love. The peace between my sister and I is still of a tenuous nature," I told her honestly.
"All the more reason to tell her personally. We need to let her know how important she is to our future family."
"Ness…" I hedged. I was terrified that my sister's response to such news would be unfavorable. I had not yet forgotten how she treated Ness, and I had not fully forgiven either.
"She is your family. You say you wish to make me part of that family that means that we will undoubtedly be exposed to one another in the future."
"Yes, this is true, but if she is anything less than gracious to you…" I took a deep breath, I did not wish to vent my spleen upon Nessie for what Emily may or may not do. I needed for Ness to understand just how important she was to me. I would shun any relation to anyone who mistreated her. "It is you whom I choose, Ness, you whom I will always choose."
"That is unacceptable," she stated plainly. "You have promised me a family. I wish for that family to be complete. I want our children to have all the love they can, from aunts, uncles, cousins. How can they have that if you alienate the only blood relative you have?"
I knew that she meant every word, but I was fearful that I could not protect her from my sister's wrath. "After the way she treated you…"
"The past is past, Jacob. She did not know me. I was beneath her notice. We must give her the opportunity. You have always said that I can charm anyone."
It was true I had said it. I simply feared Emily was resigned to hating my love, and that simply would not do. I had consulted with Edward and Bella, as well as Jasper and Alice on the advisability of the trip. We had not involved Nessie in the discussions hoping to circumvent any possible obstacles in our path.
"I do not wish to expose her to possible unpleasantness," I told them.
"Of course not," Bella agreed.
"Yet she is adamant about the trip. She feels that it is the only way she can demonstrate her desire to have Emily in our lives."
"Perhaps she is right," said Alice. "I believe you must give her the chance to win your sister's favor."
"I fear there is little chance of her having a success."
"What is her goal here?" Jasper asked.
"She says that she wants a family. She was so disheartened when she realized that she was no longer a part of the community she had known here. I told her I would be her family. Yet, I realize this is something she desires greatly."
"She needs to know that she has a family close at hand, and that she will not be without, no matter Emily's response," Jasper explained.
"I agree," Edward nodded.
"Are you saying what I think you are saying, husband?" Bella asked.
"I believe I am. Are you in agreement?'
"Of course, Alice, Jasper will you join us?"
"Most definitely."
That was how it came to pass that not only were Renesmee and I heading to Port Angeles, but so were our dearest friends. They agreed to follow us and arrange for shelter outside the walls of my sister's abode should we need to beat a hasty retreat.
We traveled straight through to Port Angeles on this trip, not the circuitous route we had taken on our previous journey. Travel time was cut down to three days, and I sent a missive ahead to inform Emily of our arrival. At Nessie's insistence, I only informed her that I was arriving with a guest, that I required adjoining rooms and that I had some things to discuss with her.
When the carriage pulled into the bustling city, Ness' eyes were glued to the windows. As always, she was lit with delight. The teaming streets and tall ships we passed in the port were enthralling to her.
"To think," Ness enthused, "each of those ships is bound somewhere foreign and exotic."
I chuckled and drew her close. "You sound as if you are dreaming of becoming a stow-away and seeing their destinations."
She turned to me her eyes alight with excitement. "I would not wish to go without you, and since you are here, I shall keep my feet firmly planted on terra firma, with you."
"That is good, because I am only here because of you."
We rode through town and into the courtyard of my sister's abode. My stomach clenched as I saw Sam and Emily descend the steps and approach the carriage. I disembarked and told Ness to wait inside until I returned.
"Jacob, I am so glad you have returned. I dislike it when we quarrel," Emily said opening her arms to me.
"As do I." I allowed the embrace, but remained cautious. "In fact, I so dislike it I am going to allow you the chance to avoid it. Renesmee is in that carriage, and I expect you to remember that should she be treated with anything but the utmost respect and care I shall depart this place and shake the dust from my shoes. There will be no second chances in this, sister, never doubt this, for both our sakes."
When I leaned back from the embrace, I saw Emily's face. Her smile was present, but pinched and strained. Her eyes searched my face for my sincerity, and I knew the moment she was certain of it, for she schooled her features in passivity. "As you wish, my brother, I cannot say this news is completely unexpected. Rumors of your freeing the girl have reached us even here in Port Angeles."
That surprised me. Who would have been aware of Nessie's status other than the royal family? Surely Aro was not one to gossip about such things after all he had been so careful to protect Ness from her previous life becoming common knowledge. "The king himself has demanded discretion in this matter. I expect you to respect that," I warned.
"Of course, really Jacob, you act as if you could pass the girl off as a new acquaintance after she had been in my house? I am not a fool. Still, as I understand it the king himself elevated the girl, so who am I to disagree?"
I nodded, but something seemed off. Emily was not known for her obedient nature, and she certainly had no reason to be so amiable.
"Come, you cannot keep the child locked in that carriage all day. Better to release her from her gilded cage and get this meeting over with," Emily said walking toward the carriage.
I beat her there and took Nessie's hand to assist in her dissension from the confines of the box. Her hair sparkled in the noonday sun, and her smile was genuine and warm. I looped her arm through my own and presented her to my sister. "Emily, you remember Renesmee."
"Welcome to my humble abode, Miss Cullen."
"Thank you," Ness said with genuine glee. I could not put my finger on it, but something was amiss, and I would need to be vigilant to the dangers that lay in wait for the both of us.
NPOV
Emily was welcoming on the face of things, but I could feel her tension and felt that there was duplicity to her acceptance of the situation. Still, I was determined to make some kind of truce with her and ensure that communication between the siblings remained free and friendly.
Emily led us down a corridor with Sam in tow. He was quiet, but I noticed the furtive glances he threw my way. At the end of the hallway, Emily instructed Jacob to follow her husband to his suite while she showed me to mine. I noticed Jacob stiffen at the suggestion, but I placed my hand against his chest lightly and told him that we would be fine. I knew he was nervous, he had no intention of leaving me alone in Emily's care, but it was inevitable, and he needed to trust me. He nodded reluctantly, and we parted company although he was only a door away.
"I do hope you will make yourself comfortable," Emily said with an icy air to her tone.
"Thank you," I said and then I turned to her. "I am glad that we have a moment to ourselves, I would appreciate a word with you."
"Really?" she said suspicious to the last.
"I thought that we should have a moment of honesty between us before we don our masks for Jacob's sake."
"What a refreshing perspective. So you admit you wear a mask for my brother?"
"I shall, when in your presence. I have one goal here, to ensure that your relationship with him remains cordial."
She raised her perfectly arched brow at me and indicated a chair for me to take a seat. She also sat and eyed me with distain. "What difference is my relationship with Jacob mean to you?"
"You are his only living relative, and although I know you have no love for me, I also know you do love him. I do not wish to be the cause of a breach between you. I will do nothing to cause such a breach."
"Are you implying I would?"
"I am saying that if Jacob believes for a moment that I have been made uncomfortable in your home he will bolt. He has vowed it. I simply wanted you to know that I understand this and will do everything in my power to prevent it."
"You presumptuous little… Let us practice a bit of this honesty of which you speak, shall we?" she sneered. "I know what you are, and I have no interest in having a harlot under my roof pretending to be a saint."
I take a deep breath. The sting of that statement will likely linger for a bit. Still I am determined to prove that I present no threat to her. "I have no delusions of sanctity. I simply wanted to assure you that I would not divulge your true opinion of me to your brother. You may feel free to do so, but I will protect him from this pain."
Emily POV
I listened to the little snip whine about her affection for Jacob. I knew she was hoping to manipulate me into taking her part. What she did not realize was that I was no fool, even though my brother appeared to have foolish tendencies where she was concerned. At least I was not to be forced to wear the mask of civility in private. It was better that we knew each other. I did not like the thought of never having a moment to relax beneath my own roof.
The truth was the confines of my domain were becoming less and less comfortable, of late. As I recuperated from the birth of my second son I had hoped to recapture the attention of my wayward husband, but Sam had not returned to our bed. He continued to relieve his baser needs upon my slaves, and I was becoming more and more fearful that he would never return.
I could not say that having this strumpet beneath my roof alleviated any of those fears. Sam had already shown a marked preference for the girl.
It was not that I did not see her appeal. She was well formed and seemed biddable enough when it came to my brother at least. Still, now that she was free perhaps she would present less of a threat in terms of my spouse. Only time would tell.
"I would protect him from the pain of taking someone completely beneath him to wife," I spat at her.
"Emily," she said, her pretty brown eyes looking sad, "Jacob will not thank you for that opinion. I understand your feelings, I really do. All I ask is that you do not anger him. I can smooth most things in his path, but I fear his affection for me could, in this case, blind him to familial affection."
I worried that she may be correct, after all, had Jacob not said that very thing to me? I nodded my understanding, and departed, leaving her to her own counsel. After all, I had a home to run, and guests to accommodate. I turned on my heel and departed.
NPOV
I sank upon the bed and sighed as Emily left. Perhaps Jacob was correct. Perhaps it was a hopeless endeavor to try and sway Emily to join my camp. Still I had to try. I had hoped that acknowledging her feelings would have opened a dialogue. After all, that was the advice Alistair would have given me, but it seemed I had only angered her more.
I had not meant to imply that she was to blame for the breach that had occurred between them. I knew it was my presence that had been the impetus for their argument, and I felt badly for it. I wished to assure Emily of my sincerity, and it seemed that I had only caused a further injury. I was faced with few options. I could either accept this situation, or I could do something to change it.
I decided to seek her out again and see if I could offer her any assistance while I stayed. The dwelling was a labyrinth of hallways and rooms and I found myself hopelessly lost. Finally, I heard voices and turned a corner to find young Claire barreling toward me, tears streaking her cherubic face. I knelt to her and opened my arms. Her small frame shook with sobs and my heart broke for her. I lifted her and tried to sooth her until she was coherent enough to express her distress.
"Claire, are you quite well? Have you an injury?"
Her little face rose to look at me with watery eyes. The dark orbs held a sorrow beyond physical pain. "I 'member you, you're Unca Jake's girl."
"That's right. Can you tell me what ails you? Perhaps I can help."
Her small head shook and she sniffed loudly. "Papa was bouncing with Hulien. I saw him, and he hollered at me to go away."
I began to understand. "Is Hulien a slave, Claire?"
"Uh huh," she nodded her inky hair bouncing about her shoulders.
"I shall endeavor to fix the situation, Sweet. Can you go and find your Mama?"
She nodded at me and placed her small thumb in her mouth. I placed her feet upon the floor and sent her on her way. I decided to retrace her steps and found the offending souls just as Sam was refastening his trousers. Hulien was a small dark slave with wide dark eyes. She was kneeling on the ground where it seemed Sam had unceremoniously dropped her from his lap.
"You may go," Sam uttered the dismissal with no kindness, in fact he did not even spare her a glance. His eyes met mine as I entered the room. The marked appreciation was evident in his eyes. "Well, well, well… Renesmee, how lovely to see you."
Hulien slithered from the room, her eyes downcast and her body slumped in defeat. Sam rose and came toward me with a predatory smile upon his lips. "What can I do for you?"
I made a decision right there and then. I was so angry at him. "You can explain to me how a man of such little intelligence ever won the heart of a woman like your wife."
His face became pinched, and I saw his ire rise. "Do not think that such insolence will be accepted simply because you are here as a guest of my brother-in-law," he growled through clenched teeth.
"Oh, I believe it shall, for I shall have my say and then never speak of this again. All my life I have longed for one thing, and one thing only, to be loved and to give love in return. Yet, here you are surrounded by a wife and children who so obviously adore you and you would throw them away with both hands. It boggles the mind."
"Throw them away? What are you talking about?"
"I have just encountered one of your children, sir, and I have in an instant come to understand something you should face with each day, and yet are oblivious to. Does it not occur to you what you teach your family by your behavior?"
He seemed genuinely confused by my question, and I gave a mirthless laugh. "Every day you teach your sons that love is a waste of time. That women, especially their mother, are a means to an end, and deserve no more regard than one shows a faithful pet. You teach them that no woman is worth their time or affection. You fit them for lives of loneliness and no more than carnal pleasures."
"There is much to be said for carnal pleasures. Surely you must know that, having been educated in the art of physical pleasure. Or does my brother-in-law fail to please you in return. I could certainly educate you, if you would taste those joys," he leered.
"There is nothing you could provide that I would find satisfying. However, you might consider becoming pupil to your sister's brother, for he provides the joys of love. Believe me when I say they are so far above the mere physical delights you find that the angels shall weep for you, having chosen them over what you could have had."
He stood before me showing genuine confusion. I almost felt sorry for him, but I was so outraged by his careless disregard for his family I found myself continuing his chastisement.
"I have explained what you have wrought in your sons, perhaps I should now tell you of the lessons you bestow upon your daughter. That sweet angel of a girl who looks to her father for guidance in what to seek in a man, what do you think she sees? Shall I tell you? She sees that men have no hearts. She sees that even the man who is meant to love and cherish her, has no depth of emotion, no honor, no commitment. She sees her beloved mother accepting the infidelity of her husband. One day, she shall wed, and when her husband uses her body as a vessel to bear his children while he spills his seed carelessly into any willing womb she shall bear it, for she shall have accepted that she is worth no more. She will believe that since her father has thus betrayed her mother, surely she deserves no better treatment from a man."
I heard him gasp at that last statement, but still I was not satisfied.
"Lastly, she will see her mother's affection for her husband pale and fade into nothingness, as her resentment and self-doubt consume her. Her mother, whom she knew to adore her father, will wither beneath the drought of affection, turn her face from the sun, which once rose and set in her husband's eyes, and become a parched and lifeless shell which once housed a heart devoted to a man too self-absorbed to realize the ill which he has wrought. One day, she will turn from you. One day you will have lost them all. I pity you sir, and I pity them." With that I turned upon my heel and fled the room, but as I turned the corner I ran right into Emily. Her face drained of all color and her eyes questioning me.
I was at a loss. I had just chastised her husband like an unruly schoolboy. I was certain that any chance I might have had at gaining her acceptance was now gone. What had I done?
"Forgive me," I breathed and fled down the corridor back to my room.
Emily POV
I was in my dayroom when Claire came to me in tears. She was upset and wanted her mama to sooth her worried soul. I rocked her in my arms until she calmed enough for me to enquire about the root of her distress.
"Why does papa play with the slaves?" she asked in her innocence.
How was a woman to explain such things to her offspring? I had had these discussions with Seth and explained that his father needed certain entertainments which he did not always find in his wife's company. He had nodded sagely and never spoken of it again. Now my daughter would learn of my disgrace as well. My heart broke, but even more my anger rose.
Surely it was not unreasonable for me to require that Sam at least display some modicum of discretion within the walls of our home, if not for my sake, for the sake of the children. I calmed Claire's fears explaining that he had not meant to reject her, and that I was certain he would play with her later. I then sent her to nap with one of the house slaves.
I rose from my sewing and sought my husband. I was stinging from the realization that I would have to discuss this unpleasantness with him. There was a time when I could speak of anything with Sam. I had felt safe and cocooned within his love. Then when I had become with child, he had turned to the kennels to slake his lust, as his father had done before him. I knew it was common place. How many others had I witnessed do just the same? Still it pained me. I had had the girl he had taken whipped. Releasing my ire upon her, even though I knew she had no more chosen her lot than I.
When I approached my husband's wing I heard a raised voice. I had not recognized it at first, but as I grew closer I heard the voice of my brother's harlot. I meant to catch her attempting to seduce my husband and then present her duplicity to Jacob, but as I drew closer, I heard her words.
She abraded Sam for his treatment of me… Her words were rather eloquent, and she expressed the feelings I had hidden for so long. Then I heard her speak of my daughter, of Claire. She spoke of how she would lamp unto my feet and one day accept the life I had myself accepted no matter how grudgingly. I felt shame. Had I truly doomed my child to such a life? Was I truly so base?
The girl flew round the corner, and we collided. I was so confused. Why would she, of all people, defend my position to my husband? What cause had I given her to be my champion?
"Forgive me," she breathed and fled down the corridor. Forgive her? What had she done that required forgiveness?
NPOV
I ran as fast as my legs would carry me and tumbled into Jacob's chamber. He was finishing a letter at the table. I flew to his side and sank to my knees in supplication, weeping before him.
"Nessie? Are you injured?" he said falling to his own knees and inspecting me for injury. "What has happened?"
"I am so sorry, Jacob. I meant no harm, I swear. I simply became so angry. Oh God, I have ruined everything. Forgive me…" I sobbed. How could I have let my passion so overrule my sense? I had wanted to find a way to solidify Jacob's relationship with his sister, and instead I had potentially been the cause of a far greater breech.
"Nessie, I do not understand. Calm yourself. I am certain there is nothing you could have done to ruin anything."
"You are wrong. I have let my unguarded tongue betray me, and worse, you."
"You could never betray me, I know that."
"Perhaps not, but I have spoken out of turn, and now your sister will never find me acceptable," I sobbed again, falling into his arms.
"Surely that is something for his sister to decide," came the voice of said sister from the door. I turned to face her, knowing she had every right to berate me for my behavior. I withdrew my hands from Jacob's and turned to face the music. I would allow her to have her say, uninterrupted, and somehow I would make Jacob understand that I deserved whatever harsh verbiage she could deliver.
"Emily, would you care to explain this?" Jacob asked, wrapping his arms around me, in protection. He did not know that I deserved whatever punishment his sister deemed fit.
"Jacob, I would speak with Renesmee, if you would allow," she said evenly.
I felt him stiffen and he pulled me back into the protection of his arms. "You may speak to her, but only in my presence."
"Very well," she acquiesced. It seemed so unexpected that I found myself looking to her face for some explanation. She did not appear enraged; rather her face was etched with what appeared to be resignation. "Please, can we at least sit, and pretend to be civilized people?"
She saw me as uncivilized. Of course she did, I had behaved like a harridan. I was mortified, and now Jacob would know just how badly behaved I was.
He rose and eased me from the floor, leading both Emily and me to the couches by the hearth. Emily sank to the sofa as Jacob nestled me into his side upon the cozier love seat. He squeezed me; he must have felt my shaking.
"Why, Renesmee?" she asked, clearly dumbfounded. "Why would you say those things?"
I wanted to explain, but I feared that no explanation would be sufficient. Still, I owed her an explanation at the very least. "I had found Claire, running from her father. She was crying and I wanted to put her at ease. I meant to simply entreat Sam to go to her and sooth her wounded heart, but when I saw him, I felt such anger. I felt it on behalf of Claire and Seth… I felt it on your behalf… and perhaps most especially on behalf of myself."
"Yourself?"
"Yes," I said shamed faced. "He has everything I have ever longed for, and he treats it as if it has no worth. I did not mean to vent my spleen upon him, I swear." I hid my face within Jacob's chest.
"You had every right to state your opinion," she said softly, "I simply do not understand. I have given you no reason to speak so vehemently on my behalf, yet you dressed him down with such passion. Why would you take my part against Sam?"
"You are the sister of the man I hope to one day wed. That would make you my sister, one day. I have never had a sister. Still, I know how I would wish to be treated. I was simply trying to treat you as I would wish you treated."
Emily's eyes were swimming with unshed tears, and I felt so badly for having caused her distress.
"I am so sorry," I sighed. "Please forgive me."
Jacob held me closer and I began to weep, wishing that I could disappear. He shushed me and stroked my back in soothing circles.
"I cannot forgive you, Renesmee," Emily said firmly. "You have done nothing requiring forgiveness. It is I who am unworthy of forgiveness. Jacob, it seems you have chosen better for yourself than I."
She stood and knelt before me taking my hands in her own. "If you can bring yourself to accept my apology, and you have no reason to do so, I would endeavor to be as fine a sister to you as you have already been to me."
My heart swelled. Perhaps we did have a chance at becoming a real family.
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Courtesan