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Enigma	By : Skullbearer Category: A through F > Dragonlance Views: 3917 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own the book(s) that this fanfiction is written for, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Enigma
Chapter three- Obsession.
"Star by Star
Corrupting all of humanity"
-Star by Star, Kovenant.
The fine weather of the day before continued, the bright light of dawn awaking Raistlin. The human was stiff, freezing and shivering after having finally fallen asleep just after moonrise. Dalamar wasn't much better off.
"Still alive?" The Dark elf said softly to Raistlin, voice letting slip both wry humour and slight concern.
Concern? Raistlin though scornfully, did his companion think so little of him that he thought him incapable of surviving this night?
If so, why would he care? Was he worried Raistlin would die before Dalamar understood him? Or was it something else-
Stop that. Raistlin told himself. You're behaving like an idiot. "I'm fine," He answered Dalamar, the coldness in his voice matching that in the air.
Dalamar gave a small non-smile that seemed both ironic and slightly sad before turning and packing up. The morning passed largely in silence, Raistlin not speaking unless spoken to, and answering questions both curtly and in as few words as possible, not posing any of his own, he lagged behind Dalamar, head down, offering no clue as to his thoughts.
Inside, he seethed.
How could he have lost control enough to be so taken up in this? How could he have lost so much control around someone he'd not even known for two days? How could he have lost control so much that he let them occupy his every waking thought for so long?
How could this fascination turn to obsession so quickly that he hadn't realised?
He didn't know, and that was what stung most of all, that and the fact that he had to admit that he had enjoyed losing that control, enjoyed feeling fascination and obsession for someone he barely knew.
And there was nothing he could do about it.
No matter how much he scorned himself for allowing the obsession, no matter how he scorned Dalamar for being the one to inspire it, he could not kill the emotion.
Dalamar had clearly realized something was amiss with his companion, glancing back at him occasionally, puzzled, and once he almost looked pleased. Pleased? Raistlin thought, why would he looked pleased? Although, it didn't look as though it was because of what he himself was doing, but rather because of something he wasn't doing. He appeared almost... relieved. Enough! Raistlin snarled mentally, trying unsuccessfully, to push the thoughts out of his mind. Seething that he couldn't do it.
It was intolerable that though Raistlin had prized spending so long looking inwards so that he could read both himself and others perfectly, it was that very skill that had both created this problem and been unable to solve it.
Obsession.
How had this happened? Raistlin demanded himself, How? And why could he not dispel what he felt as he often did? Why couldn't he ignore it like he did so many others? How did he lose so much control that he became driven by emotion rather than driving it?
Worse, why did he do nothing to regain it?
Raistlin didn't warn Dalamar that he needed to rest, preferring to collapse on the verge and hope the Dark elf would walk on and ignore him. Needless to say that that didn't happen, Dalamar noticed Raistlin was no longer following him and walked back, seating himself beside the human and looking at him, his eyes holding a touch of amusement.
"Did you think you could drop out of the game so fast? I heard you stop walking." Dalamar smiled slyly.
"And why didn't just keep going?" Raistlin snarled at the Dark elf.
Dalamar smiled, slightly mocking, which made Raistlin's blood boil. "You know. Try not to make yourself less intelligent that you are, enigma." Dalamar sat up, he was only a few inches taller than Raistlin, yet at that moment he seemed to tower over the human, a sharp, confidant smile on his face.
Raistlin drew his mind back together with an effort, sealing stray thoughts dispersed by self-scorn into a seamless fortress of will, behind which he hid his thoughts and emotions; desperate to keep them secret and avoid Dalamar realizing that he had mentally been associating him with that very word since he had met him.
Unless he'd already guessed.
With this one you never knew for sure.
It was the very first time that Raistlin received first hand the impression he himself made on most people, cold, cunning and able to read you like a book. It was the very first time Raistlin felt so wrong-footed he felt crushed. Dalamar had gained an advantage over him and Raistlin knew it and somehow revelled in it and the knowledge that their game had once again been made more complex, even as he hated Dalamar for besting him.
Despite the impassable wall of will hiding his emotions, some must have shown through for Dalamar's smile both broadened and darkened as the thoughts passed through Raistlin's mind.
Then he changed the subject completely.
"You're tired again?" A question, not a statement, interes- Stop that stop that stop that!
"Yes." The ongoing mental argument and the lack of sleep made his answer just as sarcastic and angry as it would be if he was speaking to his brother, "Why else would I be sitting down here if I were not weak and tired?"
The Dark elf's dark grin slipped slowly into one of his enigmatic non-smiles which told nothing. "I never thought of you as weak."
Raistlin snarled back, "Then what? What do you want?"
Dalamar's face was just as secretive as his smile, "Why, to understand you of course, why else are we doing this but because we wish to understand? Unless, of course, you want to stop..."
Raistlin was about to tell Dalamar that this was exactly what he wanted, when he realized, quite sickeningly, that it wasn't, and that the Dark elf had manipulated him -him!- to admitting it to himself.
He did the only he could have done to save face, he got up and continued walking.
Dalamar wasn't openly smirking, although Raistlin would have expected him to, but Raistlin could feel it in his eyes anyway. He was angry; both at himself, for falling into the same trap he himself had laid many times; and at Dalamar, for setting it so well. He felt too, the pride he had swallowed settling in his stomach- the fact that it had taken an outsider to show him something about himself. That Dalamar had read him better than he could himself was a shame that would be with him for a while.
They broke off at midday to eat, also in silence, before walking on. Raistlin, though he didn't look at Dalamar, could feel the Dark elf's eyes boring into his back.
How had the elf seen what even he could not? How could he know his thoughts when even he himself didn't know them? How could he? How could he?
How could he!
Raistlin suddenly wondered how often people had thought that when talking with him and had to stifle a small smirk, once again feeling challenged by the Dark elf. Dalamar was so good at this, as good as Raistlin was, he had let his mask slip, it would not do so again. Dalamar would find it much harder to read him next time. This time, when they started walking again after stopping to allow Raistlin to rest, he started to pose his questions again.
"You are eighty five, you told me, at what point did you discover you had a talent for the magic?"
Dalamar seemed slightly taken aback at the sudden question, then smiled challengingly, "I'm so glad you've decide to join the game again, it was getting far too easy, I had no need to guard my thoughts and you gave information away so easily."
"I expect you'll find it much harder next time." Raistlin retorted, a slight smile on his lips.
The Dark elf smiled back, "I was a child when it was discovered I had mage-talent, much to the irritation of my superiors. They had no idea what to do with me, they never did."
Raistlin looked at him intently, "Why didn't they just change you to another rank, they have a house for mages, I believe?"
Dalamar nodded, a sneer on his lips that Raistlin knew was not directed at him, "House Mystic, but you can't just change castes in Silvanesti, you're born in one and you die in one."
"And that's it?" Raistlin couldn't hide his incredulity.
"And that's it."
"You're eighty five. In human years, that would make you about my age, perhaps a little older, and like me you can cast spells. You're certainly talented. Were they prepared to waste that?"
Dalamar smiled at him, and Raistlin suspected that despite himself, he had deeply appreciated the compliment. "Thank you. And yes, they were."
Raistlin shook his head in amazement. "Absurd."
Again, he saw the Dark elf give an appreciative smile. "And what about you? What did your people say when you started learning the magic?"
Raistlin shrugged, "Not much. People never really cared."
"Even your family? What did they think?"
"My sister was the one to suggest I learn the magic-" one of the few decent things Kitiara had done for him, "and as for my brother... It's debatable whether he thinks at all."
Dalamar raised an eyebrow at him and this time they both shared the smile, one made much brighter by the sudden warmth that seemed to have settled in Raistlin's chest.

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They stopped a good while after nightfall, due to Solinari being full and casting enough light to see by. Dalamar could have gone on further, no doubt, but Raistlin couldn't. They stopped in a grove of oaks to set up camp. They found enough dry wood there to make a small fire, around which they ate in silence.
Dalamar got up and sat right beside Raistlin and looked at him, "Tell me, why do you get tired so fast? Are you naturally frail, or something else?"
"We've had this conversation before." Raistlin snapped, he was tired and it made him short-tempered. Oddly, he felt a rare pang of guilt for being so brusque.
When the Dark elf didn't answer, Raistlin settled that as the end of the conversation, then jerked back in shock as Dalamar reached out one hand and took hold of Raistlin's arm. The long fingers closed around his thin wrist, first running his free hand up his arm, pushing back the sleeve of his white robes. The human mage shivered as the light touch
raised the hairs on his body, a shiver that had nothing to do with the cold. The Dark elf's face was close to his, the firelight making his eyes glint silver and playing on his long hair and sharp features. His hand stroked down, tracing the veins inside his arm, leaving a trail of cold fire where his fingers had touched the sensitive skin.
"Very thin." Dalamar murmured, "You are so very thin. A scholar then? Did you ignore the body in favour of the mind, or were you never strong; leaving the magic as much a refuge as a gift?" Dalamar's knowing smile was almost gentle and told Raistlin that the Dark elf already knew the answer.
The hand holding Raistlin’s wrist loosened, the fingers tracing slow circles on the tender skin, his thumb sliding up to stroke over his palm.
The contact was strange, alien, and Raistlin felt both hot and cold, his skin tingling invitingly and a strange fire starting in his belly; "A refuge, a gift, a home, a strength. Choose which one, you know them as well as me." He said softly, looking down at the hand holding his and barely realising what he was saying.
Dalamar's fingers slid back up his arm and tilted his chin up so their eyes met. For one crazy moment, Raistlin was sure the elf was going to kiss him, a thought that evoked a mass of conflicting emotions within him.
"You love the magic, as do I." Dalamar added softly.
Raistlin narrowed his eyes slightly at the Dark elf's choice of words. He couldn't seem to slow his breathing. "Does one love the air he breaths? Magic is my life, as it is yours.
Without it, we are nothing." He managed to keep his voice steady, and smiled in triumph at the elf's surprise at his words, clearly, he had read the elf correctly over the last few days, understood his dependence on magic, they were on equal footing again.
"No." Dalamar's voice broke into his thoughts, a soft hiss that sent shivers up his spine, "Magic is my life, not yours. Without the magic, I would not live. To you, magic is your reason for living. You are a bird: frail, weak and helpless. The magic makes the feathers that will let you soar."
Raistlin shivered as the Dark elf's words slid down his backbone like ice, as his burning fingers traced out the bones in the his arm. Hot and cold.
"Believe me," Dalamar whispered, "it will, and I will not be the one to drag you down, you needn't fear that." They had subconsciously moved closer and Raistlin could feel the heat of his body, the same heat that filled the words he spoke, the same heat that burned into his arm from Dalamar's clenched hands. He trembled again, unable to look away from those fire-splashed silver eyes.
"I do not fear you." Raistlin breathed, his stomach knotting, afraid the elf would pull away and terrified that he wouldn't.
"Then stop acting as if you do." Dalamar's eyes didn't break from Raistlin's, hypnotising. Serpent's eyes. "If that isn't the reason, then what is? You are afraid that this fascination will forge your end, that curiosity will kill the cat in the most literal meaning possible. Let me tell you now, Raistlin Majere, you have nothing to fear from me." He stared even more penetratingly into his eyes, his beautiful face so close that Raistlin could feel his breath, hot against his face.
Then he released Raistlin and stood, haloed in the firelight.
And walked away, leaving Raistlin furious, shaken and achingly aroused.
Raistlin shivered again, dragging his cloak closer around him. His skin burnt, as much from desire as from humiliation. This had gone too far, to be so far out of his depth that Dalamar found it so easy to play on his emotions, to touch him like... like...
He felt both abashed and confused at his reaction, to his sudden desire at Dalamar's touch, shocked at his body for betraying him, and confused that the Dark elf was the one to have that effect on him.
And why had Dalamar done it in the first place?
This was no time to ask, Dalamar was asleep and he was exhausted, he would be best off sleeping and leaving his questions for another day.
Despite being tired, he was sure it would take him again long time to get to sleep.

Skull Bearer
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Enigma