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Emptiness	By : Josephine1881 Category: M through R > The Phantom of the Opera > Slash Views: 8257 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Phantom of the Opera, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Disclaimer: See chapter one!

Chapter Three

“You thought I was wearing the mask day and night, didn’t you?” Erik asked. He didn’t seem to expect an answer, for he continued talking right away. “That’s only possible with the wig. But sometimes I have to take off the mask, especially on warm days. You wouldn’t believe how hot it became on the graveyard after a while. And then the edges started cutting into my skin… I had to apply a salve when I came here.”

I lay on my side, staring at the back of his head while he was speaking. Our bodies didn’t touch, for I was afraid he might send me away if I approached him. After all, he had pushed away my hand barely a minute ago. And after I had taken in his words and their meaning for me, I didn’t feel like trying it again anyway. “So you only agreed to stay here for the night because you had to take off the mask for a while and didn’t want to risk being seen without it on the way to Paris?” I whispered, not even making an attempt to hide my disappointment.

“I didn’t say that,” he corrected me. He reached behind himself and seized my hand, pulling my arm over his back and to his chest. Slowly I began to stroke his skin, hardly daring believe my luck. “I stayed here because I thought that you and I… that we…” he muttered. I didn’t let him finish his sentence, but interjected: “Why did you want two rooms then?”. “I wasn’t sure whether you wanted the same,” he admitted. “You walked away on the graveyard, so I assumed you didn’t like me touching you. And when it came to renting the rooms, you didn’t say anything…” “Because I was afraid the innkeeper could make a stupid comment about two men sleeping in the same room,” I interrupted him yet again. “But I’m here now.”

My hand grew bolder with every moment. It wandered up and down his chest, caressing the surprisingly soft skin. He inhaled sharply as I found one of his nipples and pinched it lightly. “Go and fetch my mask!” he whispered urgently. “I have to turn around… I simply have to…” “No,” I replied firmly. “Why not?” he asked, sounding puzzled. “You said yourself that you wanted to kiss me…” “That’s true,” I admitted. “But I won’t fetch your mask. You told me it hurt you. So you shouldn’t wear it.”

I had no idea where the courage to stand to my opinion came from. There was just this little voice in my head telling me that I was right and he was wrong. “Foolish boy,” he muttered. “Don’t you remember what I look like without the mask? Do you really want to see that a second time? For what reason? Do you wish to experience the thrill of the forbidden by doing all these things with a monster, which belongs into a cage rather than a bed?”

“Shh!” I made. “Stop talking about yourself like that! You know very well that none of it is true. But if this is what you think about you and me, I can as well leave.” Of course I didn’t put my words into action. In fact, I did quite the opposite. I moved my hand down his belly till it met his underwear. Feeling his muscles quiver with excitement I leaned forwards to press a soft kiss to his shoulder. “I’ll close the curtains,” I offered. “And I won’t touch your face. Please… I just want you to be comfortable…” Finally he nodded. “But hurry…” he breathed.

And hurry I did. I left the bed quickly and went to the window, drawing the curtains with one determined motion. It had been rather dark in the room before, and now it was even darker. I smiled, pleased with my idea. Hearing the bed make a slight sound I returned there at once, expecting to find Erik facing me. Yet he still lay in the same position as before.

Slipping under the blanket again I whispered soothingly: “I can hardly see my hand before my eyes. You don’t have to wo-“. I never finished the sentence, for in this moment he turned around with truly amazing speed and attacked my lips, taking my breath away. Involuntarily I closed my eyes. “Do you know… how appealing you looked… standing at the window?” he asked between kisses. “In that white shirt… like a little ghost…” So I had been right in my assumption that he had turned around before. “And I thought you were the only ghost here,” I said, suppressing a chuckle. “I can assure you I’m not a ghost,” he gave back. “I’m made of flesh and bones… especially the former part you should know by now.”

Encouraged by his words I brought my lips to his again and put one of my legs over his, thus pushing our hips against each other. As soon as they touched, my manhood began to grow, and I noticed that his did the same. `Flesh indeed…´ I thought. Slowly I started moving backwards and forwards, a hand hastily placed on his backside making sure he moved with me. Just a moment later his hand landed on my bottom, and he pushed me against himself even more firmly.

We rocked back and forth with increasing speed. It was wonderful, yet the longer we did it, the more I realised something I had tried to ignore before: We were still wearing our underwear. I really didn’t want to come in them; I didn’t even have another pair with me. “We have to stop,” I muttered, panting slightly. “We have to get rid of those…” I tugged at his underwear. “And of my shirt, of course,” I added. “It’s becoming a little too warm.”

“But don’t open your eyes,” he whispered. “It’s so very dark,” I said reassuringly. “I won’t see a thing.” “Don’t…” he repeated. Was there a note of panic in his voice? I wanted to take away that negative feeling. It had been a coincidence that I had closed my eyes at first, and it was stupid of him to cling to it. Quickly I opened them… and froze. I had been wrong. It wasn’t dark enough.

I didn’t know what to do or say. I could only stare at the twisted mass of flesh that was the right side of Erik’s face. True, I had seen it once before, yet that belonged to the kind of memory stored at the back of my mind. I simply didn’t comprehend how a human being could look like that. Involuntarily my gaze wandered to the other part of his face, which was rather handsome with its strong jaw, full lips, elegant nose and those startling golden eyes. The contrast between the two sides had a certain cruel irony that made me shudder.

“Take a deep breath! It helps… or so I’ve heard,” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. I felt a motion and realised he had taken his hand from me. Quickly I did the same. None of us had pushed the other away, but we weren’t touching anymore either. It was as if someone had emptied a bucket of icy-cold water over us. My manhood was shrinking to its normal size rapidly. Moreover, I still had no idea what to tell him.

After a few moments I at least managed to look down, so that I wasn’t staring at his face anymore. Yet apparently that wasn’t right either, for he hissed: “Have you satisfied your curiosity now? Would you leave my bed then? Be a good boy! You need your sleep. You can tell all your little friends about how disgusting I am tomorrow.”. He wanted to turn around, but my hand darted out and gripped his upper arm. “I don’t have any friends,” I said simply. “Nor do I intend to tell anyone about you.”

I forced myself to look into his eyes as I continued: “I’m sorry, Erik, I truly am. I should have listened to you. If I had known it wasn’t dark enough, I’d have never suggested only drawing the curtains. But I don’t want to go. I want to stay here, with you. I’ll keep my eyes closed if you want me to, I promise…” He shook his head. “That’s not what I want,” he whispered, his voice strangely hesitant. “But could you… No, I can’t ask you to do that.” “Yes, you can,” I assured him, my hand wandering up and down his arm. He leaned even closer, murmuring: “I’ve always dreamed of somebody touching my face.”.

I swallowed hard, trying to hide my nervousness. That request was completely unexpected. Touching his face… What would it feel like? I thought back to the day when I had sneaked into the kitchen as a child to have a look at all the different kinds of food before they landed on my plate. I had even touched a few, but then the cook had caught me and sent me away. With a shudder I recalled the feeling of raw meat under my fingertips. Would it be like that?

Christine would do it. I didn’t know where the thought came from. It was simply there, causing one of the internal battles I was so familiar with. ´I’m not Christine,´ I argued. ´Christine would have only done it because she liked him.´ Oh, and you’re lying here in bed with him because you hate him so much? a little voice in my head asked. Isn’t it strange that you don’t have that many problems with touching certain other areas of his body? So why not his face? He wants it to happen so badly…

Naturally Erik was oblivious to my struggle. “It’s all right,” he muttered. “You don’t have to do it.” I could almost feel him withdraw from me, so shortly after we had been so very close. It was in this moment that I understood what his wish meant: He trusted me enough to believe I’d at least consider it. I couldn’t let him down. “I will do it,” I said, half to myself.

My heart was pounding in my chest as my hand made its way up his arm. Every time I wanted to slow down I forced myself to continue. Finally it reached his chin and moved further upwards. At the first contact of his cheek and my fingers a trembling went through his body. Or did it come from me? Given my nervousness both options were possible. Yet to my relief I soon noticed it didn’t feel too bad. Of course the flesh wasn’t as smooth as my own skin. It was much rougher, but not as terrible as I had expected. I’d surely get used to it.

After that realisation had sunken in, I grew bolder, moving my hand in tiny circles all over the deformed side of his face. By now it was clearly he who was trembling. His eyes were closed, and his lips slightly parted. Every now and then he drew a shuddering breath. He looked more vulnerable than any person I had ever seen. The times in which I had been afraid of him seemed to be wiped away, at least in these moments. And that was why I wanted them to last as long as possible.

Driven by a sudden impulse I brought my face even closer to his and kissed his right cheek softly. The twisted flesh felt strange, yet not at all unpleasant. His eyes snapped open, and he stared at me, the expression on his face one of utmost astonishment. The next moment our lips met in the sweetest kiss I had ever experienced. Our hands tangled in each other’s hair, but I had to be careful not to pull off his wig. So I chose to let my fingers trail down his throat, caressing the skin there.

When the kiss ended we looked at each other for a long moment. Erik’s eyes were shining with tears and affection. “Thank you,” he whispered, his voice slightly hoarse. “Thank you so much. You have no idea what it means to me. I’ll always remember it…” He gave me a lopsided smile, yet I couldn’t help thinking that he wasn’t as happy as his words should have made me believe.

“Is something wrong?” I asked. “Didn’t it feel as good as you thought it would?” He heaved a deep sigh. “It felt wonderful,” he assured me. “That’s just the problem. It felt wonderful, and now it’s over and won’t ever happen again. I’m very grateful that you’ve overcome your revulsion for a few moments, but I’d never dare ask you for such a favour a second time.”

At once my hand was on his cheek again. “Touching you is not a favour you have to beg me for,” I said, stressing every single word. Meanwhile my finger traced the line the edges of his mask had left in his skin. He winced slightly, and I gave him a brief kiss on the tip of his nose to comfort him. “I like making you feel good, Erik,” I went on. “And if touching your face is the right way of achieving my goal, I’ll do it… again and again, till it’ll be completely normal for you.”

Slowly his face spilt into a smile. “And I like making you feel good,” he told me. “Is there anything special I could do for you? A spot you’d like me to touch? Or maybe a certain way of kissing you?” I shook my head, feeling rather stupid. I knew so little about what two men could do together. As a matter of fact, I hardly knew anything about what a man and a woman could to together. For once I wished I’d have listened to my brother more carefully.

“There is something I’ve heard of,” he started as he realised I wasn’t about to make a suggestion myself. “Maybe you’ll like it. I’m not sure, though… Would you let me try?” “Well, yes…” I replied hesitantly. He had trusted me, so I had to trust him now… no matter how weird that concept still felt.
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Emptiness