Demon Song | By : TheBlindQueen Category: Twilight Series > AU/AR > Het > Het Views: 1989 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story. |
*****Chapter 3: Brooding and Sulking, Vampire Style******
In the end, I did go to Alaska, just not anywhere near the Denali clan. I could not face the interest in Tanya’s eyes, or, more importantly, the questions they would ask – even if only in their minds. Instead, I escaped into the vast wilderness, far from others of my kind.
And far from any temptation. The monster had been roused from his long slumber and it was going to be no easy thing to wrestle him into submission again. I realized at last how arrogant I had been in my complacency. The temptation was always there of course, especially when one was thirsty. But I had grown so used to denying myself that I had become sure that none of them could ever move me to contemplate breaking the habit of decades.
What a fool I had been – an arrogant and reckless fool.
It had taken the scent of only one human’s blood to prod the monster and awaken him. The man and the monster now battled for supremacy, and I could not be around a human while the war waged. And at least there in the wilderness, I would not face the pain of seeing a swathe of dark hair swinging over a delicate shoulder, or catch a tantalizing glimpse of a blush illuminating a translucent cheek.
Here I could safely be the monster I had always been beneath the civilized façade. Here I could face my demon and hopefully vanquish it.
Except the demon wore a new face. The girl’s face haunted me.
I burrowed into a snow drift. I sulked and wallowed and raged and brooded – but mostly I thirsted.
Sometimes I merely settled into the perfect whiteness and closed my eyes, pretending that I could sleep, that it was just a few moments away. My human life was so far away from me that sleep was nothing more than a distant and vague memory that seemed to belong to someone else. But there, in the snow, I could almost recapture the feeling of drifting away into nothingness.
Then I would see her face again, no matter that my eyes were closed and nothing but snow surrounded me. Then I would clear a space so that I might look up into the sky, hoping that it would distract my mind from the one memory I could not bear. I counted the stars and made pictures of the clouds. All to no avail.
She haunted me. The horrific temptation of her blood, the quiet beauty that I was only now beginning to appreciate – her unique and intriguing silence, all of which had seemed to take their own place in my head. As if she belonged there somehow.
It was unbearable. I would not endure it. But what choice did I have?
I had to face her. For my own sanity.
My decision was made and now I had only to find the strength to see it through. I kept Carlisle’s example before me, knowing that I would rather cease to exist than to disappoint him. He had made this existence bearable, even managing to find a kind of honor in our damnation.
I leapt out of my place of exile and ran back toward the car. I would be home within hours. Home. My family.
For them I would be strong.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I had been under any illusions that I might have only imagined how wonderful – and how terrible – her scent would be, they were dispelled the moment I caught a whiff of her. Even across the crowded cafeteria, I could catch the hint of her perfuming the air.
I clenched my teeth and wondered if I would have to leave. Again. Forever? Just the knowledge that she was only a dozen yards away, so completely vulnerable to me, her translucent skin just waiting for the deadly kiss I longed to give her, made me tremble with desire.
Alice kicked my chair while Emmett snickered.
“I saw that,” Alice warned, her eyes narrowed. “Watch yourself.”
“I am,” I muttered, casting yet another longing glance at the object of my torture. I would be hunting tonight. Again.
There didn’t seem to be enough blood in the world to keep the forbidden thirst from tormenting me, but I had to try. Surrender was not an option.
Alice leaned forward, her tiny hand resting on my arm. For just a moment, I wondered what it would be like to feel the warmth of a human’s touch.
Not just any human, but –
Stop. It did no good to imagine that tantalizing warmth pressed against me, defenseless.
“She’s lived here for two years,” Alice whispered. “Her father’s the police chief.” The words were a warning. Bella Swan was protected – and much too dangerous to think of as prey.
I grimaced. “Yes, I know. Don’t touch.” I scowled at the table.
Rosalie rolled her eyes and began playing with Emmett’s hair. God, I couldn’t even go home after school. They’d be locked in their bedroom and the noises that issued would drive me insane. Even their thoughts were loud, especially when they indulged in their bedroom games. I would have recognized the desire in Rosalie’s eyes, even if I had not gotten a glimpse of her plans for Emmett.
“Could you two keep it down?” I growled lowly.
Emmett merely laughed and leaned to whisper something in Rose’s ear that I deliberately blocked out. I didn’t want to know.
Trying anything to distract myself, I asked Alice a question about HER. “Anything else I should know?”
“She’s an only child,” Alice supplied. “Her parents divorced when she was a baby.” Alice grinned. “The consensus is that her mother was a flighty woman and that Chief Swan was better off without her.” She made a face that indicated her opinion of small town gossip, no matter how helpful it was to us.
“Was?” I asked automatically. I didn’t really care. The only thing I cared about was Bella Swan’s blood. That’s the only thing I was capable of thinking about.
“Her mother died a few years ago, and Bella came here.” Alice’s eyes were strangely soft as she stared at the girl. She frowned. “Bella seems lonely, don’t you think?”
“I don’t care,” I muttered, trying desperately not to look at the pale girl again.
Alice closed her eyes for a moment and then I sensed her concentrating very hard on Jasper. I couldn’t tell if she was doing so because he was suddenly facing a moment of temptation of his own, or she simply was trying to keep me out of her thoughts. I briefly considered trying to scale the walls her evasive efforts offered, but decided against it.
Sometimes it was better not to know.
I got to my feet and carried my uneaten food to the garbage can, throwing it in and holding my breath. She was closer than before.
I didn’t mean to look at her, but her friend’s thoughts caught my attention.
/Oh my…will you look at that ass?/ I heard her murmuring. “At least the scenery’s improved around here.”
It was Miss Sex Fantasy.
“Jess,” Bella hissed. “Will you stop that? It’s rude.”
Her voice was quiet and subdued, carrying a hint of distaste for whatever Jess was doing. I heard Jess thinking my name. /Edward Cullen…/
Oh.
Jess was look at ME. When I caught her eye, she winked and gave a small wave. Bella shook her head and turned away, obviously embarrassed at her friend’s behavior.
“Seriously, wouldn’t you like to just rip off that shirt and see what’s underneath?” Jess whispered, nudging Bella with her elbow. “Fresh meat!” She giggled then and I entertained a brief vision of giving her a good, up close look at what I was. Perhaps that would stop some of her fantasies.
Bella looked up at me and then blushed fiercely when she saw my attention was on her. She flashed a brief, apologetic smile and turned, hiding behind the mass of her dark hair.
Her blush warmed the air.
I groaned silently, knowing that my torment was only going to get worse.
Biology awaited me, and with it the temptation of Bella Swan.
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