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Crescent Moon	By : lordoberon Category: Twilight Series > Het F > Bella/Jacob Views: 23572 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
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CRESCENT MOON
A Twilight Jacob/Bella fanfic
by lordoberon
Part 3

Bella’s POV

Bella stared at herself in the mirror. She hated her heart and the stupid, petty way it worked. It got so confused. She loved Jacob, but she loved Edward. She wanted Edward, but right now, she wanted Jacob.
She wanted Jacob more than she had ever wanted him before. In his warm, passionate embrace, in his lusty kiss, she found a freedom that she had never experienced with Edward. Jacob, she could kiss back. Jacob had no restraint right now, or so little, so she hated to take advantage of him. She had the power, here. With Edward, he had to restrain himself daily. He tried to make her feel better, feel equal to him, but she couldn’t help being human, being weak. Now, she had power over Jacob. She had his heart. Would she toss it to the ground and leave it?
No. She couldn’t. Besides, Jacob’s body was a whole different matter than the heart. Jacob’s body…
Bella bit her lip, and watched as the blood trickled down her chin because she bit it so hard. Jacob was absolutely stunning. Even being so tall, he moved like a cat. His skin glowed with life and color. His muscles rippled with every move he made, and his smile shining on her was like a lighthouse beacon that symbolized salvation and life.
When he kissed her, Bella felt so alive. It was different from kissing Edward. When Edward kissed her, she wanted her whole world to be Edward. She wanted him to never stop, and had no self-restraint. Edward became her whole world.
When Jacob kissed her, Bella was keenly aware of herself. She noticed the way her body reacted. It exulted in her acknowledgement of herself. Jacob made her feel beautiful, made her feel strong and needed and wanted, wanted so much. In his lack of restraint with her, in his inability to disguise his need, Jacob was vulnerable. The fact that he was willing – even when he was in a normal condition, unlike today – to bare his heart so much to her…it made Bella feel loved. Special.
Around Edward, it was Edward who was the special one. Bella did not think of herself. Her world became him. She became what he wanted. He was open with her, but she knew he did not tell her everything.
It was a contrast to the honesty with which Jacob showed her how much he needed her. He needed her, in her every imperfection. She felt no need to be different around Jacob, whereas around Edward, she couldn’t help but feel unworthy. There was no shadow around Jacob; there was no thought of, I’m not good enough. Every moment with Jacob brought with it the realization of how loved she was.
Jacob had made Bella’s heart overflow with joy and happiness, in all the warmth he gave her. He had comforted her. She had at first disliked his attempts to win her, because she thought they would wreck their friendship, and it was unfaithful to Edward. But lately…lately, she had seen the beauty in Jacob, and wanted it.
She wanted it now. The way his kisses made her moan, it just slipped out of her. His hands touched her reverently. He made her feel so beautiful. He made her realize how her heart was pounding. When he had touched her, put his mouth to her, every inch of her body had felt so entirely alive. Bella had never felt so alive before. She had never thought of herself and her body so much.
She stood back from the mirror and peeled the wet swimsuit from her shoulders. Her mirror self stared back at her, cupping her round breasts, turning to trace a finger down her spine. Then she stripped the swimsuit and shorts from her body. Her skin was cold where it had been wetted by the ocean.
Shivering, Bella pulled on her panties and was just tugging her jeans on when Jacob’s voice came from the other side of the door.
“Bella? Are you…almost done?”
Bella forced her voice to be light and easy. “Yes. I’ll be out in a minute.”
Does he want me to leave so badly? Then she forced that thought away. It was no use being angry with Jacob. He couldn’t help the state he was in. Besides, she had only made it worse by telling him how she liked his kiss; it had been a lie. She had loved his kiss.
She wondered what it would be like if he touched her other places…what it would be like to give up all the careful plans and throw away all the things holding her back. What about living? She wanted to feel again that keen awareness of herself that Jacob gave her.
It’s a stupid idea. I’m just walking into trouble with these ideas in my brain. I should leave.
Jacob’s voice came from the door again. It was strained. “Bella, are you dressed yet?”
She looked at her dark, wide eyes in the mirror, and then turned to look at the wooden door. “I’m halfway there,” she said, flipping her hair back behind her shoulder. “Why?” It was a stupid question, but she couldn’t help asking it. Something was rising up within her, a teasing, strong part of her. She missed the Jacob she could make jibes at. This Jacob was so tense. She wanted to see him smile more.
“Why?” He laughed, but it was a hoarse bark. “Tell me what you’re wearing.”
His boldness made Bella feel like this was normal Jacob. She knew that was a façade, though.
“I’ve got my underwear on, and my jeans,” she said. A smirk came unbidden to her lips.
“Hmm…are they those ones with the rips in the knees, from when you got dragged by the bike way back when?”
Bella smiled to hear Jacob’s light chuckle. “No,” she answered. “They’re new. They’re a darker color. Tight on me. Renee wanted me to get some new clothes.”
There was a long pause, and then Bella heard a thump, and a swwwsshhh sound. She imagined Jacob’s shoulder hitting the door lightly and then his pants grazing against the door’s surface as he sat down. His voice came a little louder now, and she thought she was right.
“Have you got it all on now, Bells? …What kind of bra?”
She held it up, and then put it on. She didn’t know if she liked that he’d asked that or not. The snap closed with a loud sound that struck through the air. “It’s turquoise,” she said simply.
“You put it on, didn’t you,” he said. She heard a strange huffing sigh come from him.
“Shoot. It got tangled in my hair.” She could see it in the mirror, and when she bent her head forward, it tugged her hair painfully. Jacob was distracting.
“Do you want help?” Jacob asked. In his voice suddenly was that boy she had known, so long ago, who had told her laughingly about the cold ones, and had been so susceptible to her bad flirting. Desperate. Adorable.
“Jacob,” Bella sighed, and the sound was sad.
A loud thump came from the other side of the door, and then a crackling bang. Bella stepped back as suddenly, with a loud – CRUNCH! – the door collapsed inward. It broke into chunks and splintering pieces scattered across the floor. Jacob stood in the doorway, staring at her.
He marched forward determinedly, and Bella made sure to stand tall. She wouldn’t let him intimidate her again (maybe if she showed some backbone this time he would stop?). Jacob wrapped his arms around her. That was too much. A sob broke from Bella’s throat. She wanted so much to be able to kiss him, to be able to want him without breaking his heart or Edward’s.
“Shhh, Bells. Shhh.” Jacob stroked her head with one hand, hugging her to his chest. She laughed through her tears as he undid the clasp of her bra, and then gently pulled the hair strands free. He let go of her and reached his other hand around, trying to re-do the bra’s clasp.
“Damn it…I’ve never…worked one of these things…”
Bella couldn’t help it, she started laughing, and as she collapsed to sit on the carpeted floor Jacob started laughing, too.
“Shit, I’m useless, aren’t I?” He laughed, wiped sweaty palms on his jeans, and then sat down across from her.
Bella nodded, still laughing. When she opened her eyes from laughing, Jacob was suddenly very close. He was on all fours in front of her, and his mouth hovered by her left ear.
“Bella,” he whispered. “I love you, you know. I would never hurt you. Why were you crying a second ago?”
“I…I…I make trouble for myself, that’s all,” she whispered. She didn’t want to mention Edward, or heartbreak, to Jacob.
It would only bring him pain. He was always fiercely protecting her, but Bella wanted to protect Jacob, too. She wanted to protect his heart, not just because he was her sun. She genuinely wanted him not to be emotionally hurt. The thought of breaking his heart, eclipsing that sun, made a pang physically shoot through her chest.
His tongue was on her ear then, and he nibbled a delicate track over the shell of her ear. Bella couldn’t breathe anymore. His heat was so close; she could feel her previously cold body warming. He had one hand on her knee, and its tight grip was all that signaled to her how difficult a time he was having holding himself back from doing more. His hair tickled her as his light kisses fell down her neck and lower. The bra fell away, as she lifted her arms outward, and let his warm, large hand dip between her breasts to yank it off. It got tossed somewhere.
Then Jacob’s tongue was on her, and he moaned with an acute pleasure that had Bella’s hair standing on end, as he licked over her breasts. She squeaked as his hot tongue licked over her nipple, and then he took it in his mouth. She heard herself groaning in some distant land, felt her hand coasting over his shoulder again and again, finally clasping the back of his head, as his mouth gently suckled at her.
When he sucked harder, Bella gasped his name, “Jake,” and her back arched a little. She didn’t mind that his hand had wandered down, down her side to cup her bottom. Somewhere he had slid her pants down to rumple at her feet. His hand was warm, and his thumb made little circles of heat above her hip. A warmth was heating in her belly, and further south, between her thighs.
Jacob kissed her breasts, suckled the other, and then he was kissing her again. Both of his hands moved down to grasp her buttocks, his hot fingertips pressing at the cotton cloth of her panties. He started to pull her up, up to stand, and by the time she was moaning into his mouth they were both standing. He was close enough that her breasts brushed his chest, and she put her hands on his hips because it felt natural like that. She knew the hard heat in his jeans as the core of his lust, and it was a hot rod against her belly, but even that didn’t make her want to pull away. It only made her heart beat wildly within her, and it made the place between her legs itch and ache a little.
“Mmm, Bella,” Jacob breathed. In the next moment he had picked her up off the ground, and she clung to him willingly, warmed by his heat. Her body felt tingly and fuzzy with lust. Jacob smelled like pine and earth.
He lay her down on the soft pile of blankets on his bed. That made her nervous, so she sat up a little. Somehow she had liked it better when they were in the bathroom. The bedroom had too many connotations. She didn’t like it. It was too…Too much a reminder of where this is going?
She told that voice in her head to be quiet, because she caught out of the corner of her eye, the crestfallen look on Jacob’s face. You got yourself here because you wanted this, remember? She did. But not here, in his room, on his bed…it was too attached to other things, that reminded her of all the heartbreak that she didn’t want to think about. She wanted to allow Jacob’s sun to warm her, and she wanted to not be distracted, so that she could in turn make him happy.
“Jake…
She looked away from him, past him and out the window. There was the beach, the beautiful beach. Maybe if she were there she would feel more peaceful. The beach was their place, anyway.
Standing up, Bella gave Jake a mischievous smile.
“Bells, that look is evil. What are you plotting?”
“Is there any place we can be…outside? Hidden by the ocean and the trees?”
He stared at her for a moment, stunned, and then said slowly, “Yeah…yeah. You coming like that?”
Bella blushed, and it felt awkward and simultaneously good to see how Jake watched her blush. It was with thirst, yes, but the thirst of want, of love, too. Before she could think about it more she grabbed her jeans from the bathroom, and a shirt of his and slung it all on.
They walked outside, and Jacob peered around before turning to her. She knew he was sniffing for others around. “Coast clear,” he said.
She noticed how he held his arms out for her, gently, with that wide, beautiful smile shining down on her.
This is your moment, Bella, she told herself. Now or never.
She stepped into his embrace and let him lift her up, to be carried like a bride over the threshold of the steps exiting the porch.
She couldn’t resist his smile, and allowed him to hold her in his arms the entire way out along the beach. As the ocean sped by, and the sand, and the first few trees, Bella thought, I got him to smile.
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Crescent Moon