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Focused Madness	By : fusedtwilight Category: Twilight Series > General Views: 3772 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
- 4
Focused Madness
Chapter 3

Fusedtwilight: Thanks to my beta animegirlkiki for betaing, thanks to purpleranger76 andC_Lyn for reviweing I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I know I enjoyed writing it.

Alarm: Sudden sharp apprehension and fear resulting from the perception of danger. A warning notice
Example: Bella becomes alarmed when she see's the others begin to act strange.

Bella P.O.V
It has been twelve days since we found Matthew. Things have gotten very odd around the house.
It all started the next day after Matthew had his run in with the wolves. He and Nessie were in the living room watching T.V. Matthew was amazed by it, he could not believe so many people could live in a single box; I had tried to explain they were not in the box but he got confused so I dropped it.
Jake, Seth, Leah, Sam and Jared showed up at around noon. Esme had cooked them some steak and potatoes. Matthew was excited to see Leah again. He hugged her legs tightly and I swear I could hear the sound of her bones cracking under the strain. After she got her food on a plate and a cup of Pepsi to drink she and Seth followed Matthew into the living room to watch T.V. with us.
Carlisle, Jasper and Edward staid downstairs to talk with the other wolves while the rest of us watched T.V. I noticed Matthew sat with Leah happy as could be. Leah didn't seem too thrilled to be in a room full of vampires. Or maybe she was uneasy about how pleased Matthew was sitting next to her.
Alice had bought him some clothes. He looked so adorable in his little pants and light blue shirt, with his hair neatly cut. Only his body movements and wild eyes betrayed his true nature. He reminded me of the Amazon coven who were the wildest vampires I have ever met, the way they moved, quick, graceful, cat like.
I could hear what they were talking about downstairs. Sam was worried that Matthew might lose control and snap. Jake had some of the same worries, we all did. Matthew was a wild card, not just because he was vampire like but it was how unpredictable he was. He could be happy and delightful in a moment than he could be wild and crazy the next.
He didn't act very human; his movement were very animal like. Just as the Amazon coven had been. I wondered how long he had been alone, how long he had hunted and fallen deeper and deeper into his vampire nature. I wondered if he had left any evidence of his kills, he wasn't exactly the neat and tidy type.
Sam was also worried that if any of the wolves had to fight Matthew all he would have to do was make them phase back and they would be sitting ducks. Carlisle informed them my power protected me from Matthew's power. We were sure he was an empath like Jasper. Carlisle figure since Jasper controls the chemicals in a person’s mind it allows him to manipulate my emotions like the others.
He figured Matthew does is direct to the mind so I was immune. Sam had already informed the elders about Matthew and they were worried as well.
So after an hour of assurances we would do our best to train him and help him control his urges better the wolves left. Matthew was sad to see Leah go but she promised to come back and see him. She has not shown up since. Matthew doesn't seem to really mind, Edward said Matthew doesn't view the world like us; his view on time is a little broader than ours.
During the last twelve days things seemed to settle. We had adapted Matthew into our lives. Carlisle had arranged for Matthew to be put in his custody making him Matthew's legal guardian. On the third day a worker from the social office came to make sure our living conditions were right for Matthew.
It had been very tense. We had made sure Matthew was well fed and told him what to say and not to say. The lady had been an older heavier set woman who had a smile for everyone. She asked Carlisle a few questions about his credentials and how Matthew had been.
Then she had talked to Matthew and I could tell she was uneasy around him. He kept on looking at her like she was something to eat. Which to him she was. Jasper had used some of his power to make her more trusting and she gave us the all go.
On the fourth day of his stay with us the oddness began. I had noticed it in small doses at first, but as time went on the others became more....intense. I don't mean that in a bad way...exactly.
It began with Rose, who had always been vain and tenacious (or pig headed as Edward liked to say) but she had been spending more and more time looking in the mirror and trying on new dresses and finding these little microscopic deformities on her face that only she could see that she claimed made her look ugly. She began to spend more and more time on her looks, spending less and less time with Emmett and the family and more and more on herself.
Carlisle spent more and more time at the hospital. One day there had been a horrible accident and he had been unable to save a woman or her child. He came home crying, praying to God to forgive him. Now Carlisle is a good man, but he had been a doctor for centuries. He knew well that some you save, some you can't. There had been times when he lost a patient but he mourned them quietly and prayed for their souls. But now here he was crying like a baby and feeling such guilt for two lost lives. It was also to our shock that on the sixth day of Matthew's stay here he donated almost half our money to charity.
It was nothing new; we made private donations to all sorts of charity all over the world. But Carlisle had about thirty five billion dollars. All of it separated in different banks under different names all over the country so as to not arouse suspicion. Now half of it was gone. “Greed is a sin,” he said. “Why should we horde so much money when the country is in a recession and people are suffering all over the world?”
I wondered if vampires can go through a midlife crisis.
Esme had become more mother like and loving than ever. Whenever we went out she always made sure we had our cell phones on us. She would call us up and ask us if we were okay which was ridiculous seeing how no animal except the wolves could hurt us. She also made sure we carried baby wipes with us when we went to hunt to wipe the blood from our mouths.
She also fussed over our looks more, making sure our shirts were tucked in, fixing our hair when she felt it was getting to unruly. She gave us extra hugs and extra kisses and told us she loved us all three times more than what she did. She had been looking at the family photos more, reminiscing over the old days. She had also been watching a lot of lifetime. She cried a lot when she watched that station.
Next was Emmett. Emmett had always been competitive. Whether it was racing, playing video games or anything else. He always did his best to win. It had been to a minor childish degree like when I beat him when we first wrestled. Now it seemed like his competitiveness had reached new heights.
He would challenge any one to anything, racing, wrestling, video games. When he won he would rub it in our faces, but when he lost, he lost it, literally. He would get so mad he lost at something he would get physically violent. He never hit us but he would demolish the area around him. Plus there was his sex issues. I always knew Emmett was a horn dog before he became a vampire, dying didn't curb that at all. Now it seemed like it had reached new heights. He was constantly hitting on me, Rose and Alice and dressing like he was trying to impress. I mean who wears leather and vinyl in the middle of the day at home?
Normally Rose would deal with that but sense she was too busy worrying about her looks now Emmett had to deal with it himself. And these walls are paper thin if you know what I mean.
Not to mention he was obsessed with defeating me. It has been nine months since I became a vampire and my strength had began to wane to the point where me and Emmett were now on equal footing and he was doing his damnedest to beat me. He was really trying to fight me too, there was nothing playful about it, if he had to rip off a limb to do it he would try.
On the ninth day he came so close to actually tearing off my arm Edward had to stop the fight and came dangerously close to having his own ruffle with Emmett. Speaking of Edward his power has been acting odd. It had become a lot harder for him to block others thoughts, his range had increased and he was beginning to seed deeper into minds and was finding it possible to literally read minds instead of hearing thoughts. Not to mention he had always been very watchful, paying maybe a little too much attention to every little detail in what he sees.
Jasper....was a very disturbing case. His empathy power had grown stronger. He could sense our emotions so well he has now developed a horrible case of distinctive identity disorder. Let me explain. He could feel our emotions so well it was like they were his own emotions. One day I was walking by his and Alice's room when I saw him at Alice's desk, looking at himself in the mirror and applying eye shadow and putting lip gloss on. “Hi Bella, don't I look hot?” he asked when he saw me looking.
I quickly made my exit.
Then he would be watching T.V with Esme and acting motherly to all of us, than he was super compassionate and crying over the suffering of all the people of the world, than he was fighting with Emmett over who was the best vampire, than he was paying too much attention to details like Edward does now that his power is acting up. It was like he was channeling all our emotions.
Poor Alice was suffering as well; her power had been growing stronger. She was having visions from further into the future. Usually the visions go up to a few months to a year, but now she was getting visions from more than a year from now. They were becoming more real, not only did she hear and see a vision, she could smell and taste and feel as if she was there.
It was giving her a serious migraine as well, what is more amazing is La Push is slowly becoming visible to her, she has had little glimpses of the wolves in her vision, even Nessie was included in her visions. Her visions have become so intense she has isolated herself trying to meditate to control her visions. Edward and Alice tried to stay away from each other since their powers cross with one another.
I have tried to help her as has Jasper, but the visions are to much for her to handle, her mind has slowly begun to shut down. We don't know what is causing it but I have a pretty good idea.
Even my sweet Renesme as been affected. Before she had a child's curiosity. She was also an energetic little thing; she got that from my mother Rene. But in the last few weeks she has become a little monster. She was like one of those annoying little kids you see on the T.V always asking are we there yet or running around screaming. Her power like everyone's has increased. She can now show her memories without touching someone as long as they are a few feet from her.
On the eleventh day Jake visited and he noticed things were wrong. “Bella what is going on? This place has gone crazy,” he said.
“I don't know Jake but I have to do something. This is starting to affect our personal lives as well. Carlisle had to come home because he kept on crying at work about a patient who died of cancer. Carlisle was going to change him but he died before Carlisle could and he felt so guilty.”
“Should I take Nessie out of here? Things seem to be getting out of hand,” he said.
“Yes, I think she should spend the night. Something needs to be done and things are to chaotic right now.”
As ashamed as I was of it I was relieved he was taking Nessie away. It was like someone pumped her full of redbull. Nessie left with Jake to spend the night in La Push and it couldn't have happened at a better time. Because on the twelfth day things exploded.
First I called a family meeting. I expanded my shield around Edward so he could not hear Alice's thoughts and become catatonic like her. When I did his power seemed to go back to normal.
Alice and Jasper sat together. Jasper's face kept on changing. One minute annoyed and angry, than happy and loving, than blank and empty like Alice's.
Emmett and Rose looked like they stepped out of an issue of hustler. Emmett in his sunglasses and leather and vinyl with his bling-bling. Rose with her short cut jean skirt and red short cut spaghetti strap shirt with no bra that would have woken a man up if he was in a coma.
Esme and Carlisle sat together. Carlisle was still sad, still mourning and Esme was supporting him. Matthew sat next to her looking confused at everyone in the room. Like he was seeing something he did not understand.
“Okay everyone now I know why you are wondering why we are here,” I said.
“Yes, I have better things to do you know. I have to do something about these crow's feet, Rose said pointing to the crow's feet that did not exist on her face.
“Don't worry sister, you are beautiful, almost as much as me,” Jasper said crossing his legs like Rose and looking smug.
“Almost?” Rose whispered horror struck.
“Any way I think I know what the problem is-”
“I am sorry to interrupt Bella,” Esme said standing up, “but I have a big announcement. I have decided to adopt a baby.”
A stunned silence followed. Than everyone responded in a second.
“Oh honey that is wonderful truly god made you as his angel of mercy!” Carlisle cried.
“Great more competition,” Emmett scowled.
“Oh I want to help decorate the baby room!” Jasper said bouncing up and down in delight.
“No we cannot do this!” Rose screamed.
“Rosalie Hale why not?” Esme said clearly upset.
“Esme were vampires! You cannot bring a child into our life, you are risking the family as well.”
“Rosalie I am disappointed in you,” Esme said. “How can you not want to help a poor soul who has lost so much, besides you always wanted a child.”
“Yes as a human, but if we get a baby it will figure out pretty quick something is off about us when it gets older and we stay young!”
“Oh we can work around that, just think of the good we could do. In fact let’s adopt an entire orphanage,” Carlisle said.
Things degenerated quickly. Alice was quiet the entire time, unblinking, unmoving. Jasper was constantly agreeing or disagreeing with everyone depending on his mood. Rose and Emmett were against the baby, Esme and Carlisle for it. Edward was quiet, he was trying to shut out all the thoughts of everyone and his teeth were gritted. I could hear them grinding against one another.
Matthew was looking sad, confused at all the fighting, I could tell it was upsetting him a lot.
“All right that is it!” I screamed. The stress of the past twelve days made snap. Acting quick, I expanded my shield to encompass everyone in the family except for Matthew. It was like a switch had been flipped. Everyone blinked, than the air was filled with calm and peace.
I looked at Jasper who had a look of pure joy on his face. “Oh thank god! I can feel again!”
“Sweet lord look at me, I am not beautiful I am a slut! Look at me! I can't believe I actually thought I was anything but beautiful!” Rose said.
“Look at me, I look ridiculous!” Emmett said tearing off bling and taking off his shades. “I got to go on myspace and quick!”
“When did you get a myspace?” I asked.
“Well I got thinking there are lots of people who would love to see me near....or completely naked so I made an account.”
Rose bristled. “You put naked photos of yourself online for people to gawk at!”
“Well on the plus side I have over twenty thousand friends and I have gotten offers from Kelvin Cline to do some photo shoots,” he said sheepishly.
“I can not believe I donated over sixteen billion dollars to Alec's lemonade,” Carlisle said.
“I can not believe I came this close to adopting a baby,” Esme said.
“I can't believe the things I saw,” Alice said, “You will not believe the things I saw. It was horrible, my mind was over loaded with the future, and I felt like I was drowning. I couldn't focus.”
Jasper hugged Alice to calm her down.
“But what caused it?” Esme asked.
“Oh come on, we all know what or should I say who caused it,” Rose said.
We all turned to look at Matthew. “Is everyone better now? You were all acting weird,” Matthew said.
“Matthew, have you been doing anything you shouldn't have?” Carlisle asked sternly.
“No Car-Car, Matthew is being good, just like you are asking,” Matthew said.
“He is telling the truth, I was in his head these last twelve days, he sensed our emotions growing but he did not purposely cause it.”
“But what about our powers?” Jasper asked, “I cannot make someone's powers stronger and he is empathic like me.”
“Obviously there is more to Matthew than we thought,” Carlisle said.
“Is Matthew in trouble?” Matthew asked.
“No sweetie,” Esme said kissing him on the head.
“Okay before we do anything let me test something,” I said.
I noticed that Esme had leaned out of my shield to kiss Matthew and she didn't seem to go back to the way she was before I put up the shield. With Matthew outside my shield I could sense his power, it was beating down on my shield like the rays from the sun. I slowly lowered my shield, keeping an eye on the others, making sure they didn't revert to their old selves. Nothing happened so I brought the shield back to me.
Nothing happened, everyone remained the same. “Okay, so I guess it takes the affects of...whatever Matthew's power does to you guys- a few hours to take effect,” I said.
“Well I will call Eleazar and have him come down from Alaska, I think we can agree he can help us figure out more about Matthew's power,” Carlisle said.
“I have a power?” Matthew asked.
“Yes, the colors dear,” Esme said.
“Oh cool, I was thinking I was just a freak,” Matthew said with a smile.
“I will contact Eleazar immediately, Bella could you keep an eye on Matthew; make sure his power is kept in check.”
“Sure thing.”
Edward kissed my cheek. “Well done love.”
“Esme I hope you didn't sign any papers or anything for that baby,” Carlisle said.
“No, it was a decision I just made, I was going to make the calls later,” Esme said looking sheepish.
“Good. Oh and Rose, Emmett, please put on some decent cloths and Jasper....you have lip gloss on your lips.”
Jasper quickly rubbed it off.
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Fascination: The state of being fascinated: The state of feeling intense interest in something
Example: Eleazar is fascinated by Matthew when he meets him.

Carlisle P.O.V
I contacted Eleazar and him and the other Denali coven members showed up the next day.
We all greeted them at the door. Nessie was back to normal, she was no longer full of energy. Bella had kept watch over Matthew, making sure his power was kept in check.
She was upstairs with him now getting him ready to meet with the Denali coven. I wanted to go over about the boy with him before he met him.
Garrett was with them. I was pleased to see his eyes were yellow like ours now. “It was really tough but Kate managed to keep me in line,” Garrett said smiling at his mate.
“Any time he even thought of going back to human blood I gave him a nice zap to the ass,” Kate said with a smile.
“He has really been wondering all alone by himself?” Carmen asked sounding concerned about Matthew, she was maternal like Esme. The thought of a child alone in the world tore at her heart.
“Well let’s meet this young man,” Eleazar said clapping his hands together.
I, Esme, Eleazar, Carmen and Nessie went upstairs leaving the others alone to talk and catch up.
I opened the door to my study. Nessie ran over to her parents who were entertaining Matthew. “Matthew these are the Denali coven members Carmen and...Eleazar?”
Eleazar was frozen in the doorway, staring at Matthew with a look of amazement and shock. “Eleazar what is the matter?” I asked.
“I can't believe it,” he said. He strolled forward and knelled in front of Matthew. He gently touched his face and studied him closely. Amazing! Simply amazing! So much potential, such complexity.” He looked at Matthew like an artist looking over the work of a well known artist.
“What are you?” he asked Matthew.
“Me is being Matthew, a hybrid like Ness-Ness.”
“Oh he calls her Ness-Ness? That is so precious,” Carmen said gently pulling her husband off of Matthew. “Don't be rude dear,” she lightly chastised.
“He calls everyone names like that,” Edward said, “he calls me Ed-Ed, Bella is Bell-Bell and so on with the others.”
“Except Leah,” Matthew said sadly. “Where is Leah, I miss Leah.”
Leah had not been to visit like she promised. I was considering asking Jake if he could request she come visit. It might do Matthew some good, seeing how he took a liking to her.
“Oh don't worry sweetie, I am sure she misses you as much as you miss her,” Carmen said giving him a hug.
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Acceptance: The act of accepting, to be accepted. To accept a situation without any reaction.
Example: Leah accepts a request.

Leah P.O.V
I had not been over to see Matthew. Like I said before I had been to the Cullen's once and once is enough.
My day was continuing as it usually did. Wake up, take shower, eat, and go out for a quick run. (as a human) come back, do some yoga, help mom do some chores. Go for a little stroll through the woods avoid Sam, especially avoid Sam, come home help mom cook dinner, do some more yoga, patrol, come home, go to bed.
Today I was doing something different. Today I was trying to find a job. I had done some odd jobs around La Push. Baby sitting, cleaning the house and yards of some of the older folks. Stuff like that. But I was tired of the low pay; I needed a job a real job. Sadly such things were hard to find now days.
Money wasn't a problem. When dad died he left us with enough money to send both me and Seth to college and have enough money for herself. God bless dad, he was a hard worker, and he had worked in the lumber mill the majority of his life, good money and lots of benefits.
But I wanted to separate my human life from my werewolf life. So I had to get a normal human job. But what? I could be a secretary. I was good at doing paper work and filing stuff. Or I could get a job as a nurse or work in the cafeteria there. It may not be as exciting as being a nurse or doctor but even working in the dietary area you get benefits.
I was so engrossed I forgot not to answer the door. I left that to mom or Seth. But I was so annoyed when someone showed up and interrupted my job hunting that I got up and answered the door.
It was Sam. “Hey Leah,” he said.
“Hey,” I said. I did my best to sound not surprised or upset. Which I was both.
“Can I come in?”
No you can take you're sorry ass out of my house.
“Sure.” I opened the door and let him in. As he passed I rolled my eyes. I was not in the mood to deal with Sam. I had more important shit to deal with, like moving on with my life.
He walked into the kitchen and sat down. He glanced at the paper. “You're looking for a job?”
“Yeah, need something to do besides yoga and patrolling. Now that Victoria is dead and the Volturi are gone I can start putting my life together.”
“Good, I am glad for you Leah,” he smiled.
I said nothing, just leaned against the door frame. We said nothing, the air was tense and uncomfortable. “So how are things in Jacob's pack?” he asked.
“Okay. How's the kids doing?”
“Okay. We have made some progress helping them not phase. Still can't believe so many wolves exist now. Our generation has had a lot of firsts.”
“Yeah first wolf-pups and first she-wolf. Hell of a record breaker for our little rez,” I said.
“Do you like being a beta?” he asked.
“It's okay. Not much to do now that things are all quiet on the western front. It's nice to have some authority over the others though, I tell them to jump they ask how high.”
He grinned. “I always knew you would be a good leader Lee.”
“Bullshit. I was too busy pinning over you and mourning my father and feeling sorry for me, to be a second. Leaving your pack and following Seth was the best decision I made in a long time.”
The smile left his face. “I am sorry you were miserable Leah. But I am glad you are happy.”
“But you wish I was still part of the pack,” I said.
“No,” he said a little too quickly.
“Please. I seem too recall you sending Jared to as he said 'Get on my hands and knees and beg',” I said quoting Jared. “You even told him to use my nickname you insensitive prick.” I didn't raise my voice. I was just stating a fact. I didn't mean to make this confrontational but Sam always seemed to draw out my bad side-well as of late.
“Leah, I wanted you away from Jacob, from the Cullen's. I didn't want you to get hurt.”
“Funny you never mean for me to get hurt yet you still manage to do it.”
He continued like I said nothing. “We knew nothing about Nessie. How did we know she wasn't going to be a wild, raging monster? How did we know she wouldn't be worse than a newborn? I felt there was a risk to the tribe and our families and I decided to act.”
“Please, you always wanted to kill the Cullen's. You blamed them for us, you blamed them for Emily, you blamed them for all the misery we all felt.”
“I let them turn Bella, I joined with them to kill the newborns,” he said defensively.
“You let them turn Bella because you knew she loved Edward not Jake and you hoped once she was out of the picture Jake would snap out of his little emo phase. You joined with them because Bella was human and we protect humans but the newborns were a threat to us as well and you knew we were to outnumbered to fight twenty newborns if they attacked the tribe.”
He smiled but it was hallow. “You know me so well Leah, you didn't even have to read my mind. Yes I just joined them to kill the newborns, yes I let them turn Bella because I knew she wanted it and I hoped once she was gone Jake would come to his senses.”
I sighed. I had been avoiding this talk for months but here we were talking about it. About me leaving his pack, about me leaving him, about the imprinting, about our feelings for one another.
“I was so mad and angry when you left, I felt so betrayed.”
“Not so fun when you are on the receiving end huh?” I asked.
He glared at me. “I was angry because you were defending the vampires Leah. The same leeches who caused me to phase and imprint on Emily. The same blood suckers who caused our suffering in the first place. You left me to protect them to spite me!”
“Don't you dare make this all about me Sam,” I growled. “I left because my baby brother decided he had the balls to get out from under your thumb and join Jake to do the right thing. My only regret is I let the little shit leave first. I didn't leave because of you, I left for him. It wasn't until after I left I considered the thought of not being in your head and hearing you're lovey, dovey thoughts about Emily all the fucking time. I was more concerned about my brother and what he was getting himself into and protecting his ass so he didn't wind up hurt or dead.”
“And now you got what you wanted, are you happy Leah?” he asked.
“No, happy is I still have someone to love me, happy is my dad still alive and my mom not going out with another man, happy is being able to still have children, happy is not being a fucking werewolf and being a normal girl and going to college. See that’s another thing I enjoy about being in Jake's pack, more freedom. He wants me to go to college, he wants me to get a job, and he wants me to have a normal life that doesn't involve hunting monsters.”
“You know why I did not allow us to tell friends or family or allow anyone to go to college. We have a duty to the tribe and the pack and it is too much risk,” he said.
“Yeah well guess what, I am going to college, as soon as I work out my wolf issues I will go and I will be sure to send you a shit load of cards that say 'glad you are not here.'”
The rage threatened to come out, to transmute from emotional energy to fur and claws. But I took deep breaths and focused. I am proud to say I did not even shake.
“You really have been practicing?”
“Don't sound so amazed, you think I want to stay angry all the time and burst into fur and claws all the time?”
He looked at the paper. Looking at the possible jobs I circled and the ones I axed out. “I am happy you are moving on Leah. You deserve happiness.”
“Thank you, now why are you here?” I asked.
“Emily wanted me to ask you if you are still in the wedding,” he asked.
I practiced self-control. I had hoped she had been kidding at first, that she was just trying to be nice to me in a weird way. I also hoped that after the last nine month's she had reconsidered. Guess not.
I was about to tell him to fuck off when the phone rang. Seeing an opportunity I grabbed the phone. “Hello?” I answered.
“Leah, its Jake.”
“What's up?”
“The Denali coven is visiting the Cullen's. Apparently little Matthew is stronger than what we or they thought.”
He described what had been happening to the Cullen's these last twelve days. I wanted to tell him to shut up and that Sam was there. Something told me this was not stuff Sam should be hearing. A.) It was my pack's business none of his. B.) Sam did not like Matthew one bit and judging from his past with vampire hybrid children I did not like the fact he was hearing how the Cullen's were having difficulty with the kid.
“So they are trying to figure out what makes his power tick?”
“Yes, Eleazar is having a field day with this kid. Judging from his reaction the kid is strong. He is examining him right now.”
“So what do you want me to do?”
“Well Matthew is asking for you. He is wondering why you haven't been visiting him.”
I sighed. “Let me guess, you want me to come over and hold his hand?”
“If it isn't too much. He is really nervous and he misses you.”
“Why me? He only met me once.”
“I don't know, he is a kid, he is a hybrid and he obviously is not in his right mind. Please Leah.”
“Sure I will be right down.” Better than standing here and having the talk with Sam.
“Okay, I will see you soon.”
He hanged up.
I put the phone back on the wall and turned to Sam. I know he heard everything. These super werewolf senses could be really useful for eavesdropping. I know a few old ladies in town who would kill for such a power, the easier to listen in on conversations and gossip.
“I'm heading over to the Cullen's, Jake needs me.”
“You mean Matthew needs you,” he said with a raised eyebrow.
“What he needs is a padded cell and some Thorazine.”
“Then why go over?”
“Because the kid may be crazy but he is still a kid. And because Jake asked me to, that's another thing I like about him, he asks me to do stuff, and he doesn't have to order me.”
I was being a bitch and purposely baiting Sam. He took the bait. Swift anger filled his eyes. “Well maybe if you hadn't been so difficult I wouldn't have needed to order you around Leah.”
I grabbed a notepad and pencil and wrote mom and Seth a note. They were still at the grocery store. Thank god dad left us enough money where we could still live comfortably and maintain our diet. Otherwise we would have starved long ago.
“I'm leaving now. Do me a favor and lock the door on your way out.” I turned and went to walk outside but Sam stopped me.
“Leah wait.” I heard the sound of the legs on the chair squeal against the floor. “The wedding, are you in or out?”
I stopped. I should say no. I owe nothing to either of them. I loved them both, they were two of the five most important people to me and they hurt me bad. For all my life my heart would have a scar from what they did. Sure they didn't mean to do it, sure it was all imprinting and destiny and all that bullshit Sam likes to go on about.
But I loved him. I loved him with all my heart and soul. I would have died for this man, I would have spent the rest of my life holding him, loving him, kissing him, loving him. I would have given him and home and a family. We would have had the perfect life.
It was not that he left me, it was how he left me, and it was the way how he treated me when I was in his back. One minute giving me special treatment than acting like I was another wolf. Like when he made me cut my hair. I miss my long hair. It brought back a lot of memories of me and Sam. But he made me cut it, even knowing how much it hurt to do it. It was knowing that even though a large part of him loved Emily more than me, a small part of him missed me and wanted me to love him.
So what do I owe them? Nothing. Fuck them both. Why should I have to watch as Emily gets what should have been mine? Why should I have the memory of the event that should have mine, the role that should have been mine.
I sighed. What I said about Sam still loving me was true but it was also true that I loved him as well. I gave him my heart and hearts are precious things, once you give it to someone they own you. No matter what.
I loved them both, I missed them both. I wanted to move on with my life and in order to do that I had to let go. There was no hope. Sam would never be mine, the dreams I had would never come true. If I was to move on I had to let go, which was the hardest thing, especially when you were letting go of the one you gave you're heart to.
“I'm in,” was all I said. I quickly walked out the door and ran for the woods. I quickly strapped my clothes to my leg and phased. I ran for the Cullen's, glad to get far away from Sam. If only I could just run away, far, far away and not have to deal with this shit.
Be careful what you ask for, you might just get it.

Fusedtwilight: So what had Eleazar so excited? What is it about Matthew that make shim so strong and what exactly is his power? Find out next chapter. Please review.
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Focused Madness