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A Pucked-Up Situation	By : ChysLattes Category: G through L > Leandros Brothers Series Views: 1564 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't make money off this & I do not own the Leandros Brothers Fandom (I only own specific jokes within this story as well as my OCs Jazel & Piper)

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Title: "A Pucked-Up Situation"
By: Chys Lattes
Fandom: A (Rob Thurman) 'Cal Leandros' Series FanFic
Disclaimer: I make no money off this, I just write it for the sake of improving my writing style. I think that fanfiction and fanart is like a love letter to the story's original author. Too bad I know most never read their own series fics.

Chapter: Three/?
My fanart for this series and accompanying illustrations for this story can be found at:
http://chys.deviantart.com/
-That night-
Corpse hands reached through the darkness to grab Niko's arms and hold him with a death-like grip, slimy warm hands. Dead hands, that still pulsed with the life of another. They pulled at him, tugging him forcefully into the dark, the warm, moist, deep recesses of the giant troll's putrid body. He was being eaten alive, preserved, and turned into a part of the creature known as Abbagor.
He couldn't breathe!
The air was gone, what little was left of the stench that once resembled breathable air. His lungs cried out for breath. He could feel his skin turning purple. The poison ate at him, slowly, turning him over. A voice caressed his mind, 'mine.'
Where was Cal? Hadn't he saved Cal a million times by now? A little reciprocation would be well deserved. Where was his brother when he desperately needed him? Struggling, he couldn't move an inch to save himself. He'd always been the dependable one, the one to save his little brother. But strong as he may be, he couldn't save himself.
He couldn't hold on, the darkness took him over, sucking him in. His katana had slipped from his grip, lost to the ooze surrounding him. This was some kind of nightmare; that was for certain. But this had been real.
Hadn't he survived this already? Yes, Cal had saved him. He was safe now. Safe, with Cal. The air slowly seemed to seep back into the room, and the touch of vile corpses vanished. But that was when the panic snuck in.
"Cal? "Where is Cal?
He saw him vividly. Laying in a puddle of his own dark blood, seeping slowly into the rug on the floor. Dead.
Dead. Someone killed Cal. His whole reason for living, gone. A blinding rage filled him. This time, he couldn't breathe for a different reason. This couldn't be real. Can't be real… It's not.
Cal is alive. He'd saved him. No… he was never hurt.
It was all a deception, the little mind-warping Chupacabra beast they'd dealt with before had messed with their minds, with all of them, and messed up Niko's the worst. He'd been led to believe his brother had been killed, right there in the entryway to their own apartment, so that he would blindly seek revenge against the one who did it. Who supposedly did it. Every night, without fail, the nightmare kept coming back, so deeply had it influenced him. His worst nightmare. He'd thought of killing himself, first. He was glad now that he hadn't.
Niko sat up, startled, brushed a hand through his short blond hair and stared into the cool dark shadows in his bedroom. He studied the dark room, wondering for a moment where he was, disoriented. He couldn't escape it in his sleep, in his worst dreams. But Cal was safe. "He's Fine, just asleep on the couch, and pissed off that Robin took his bed tonight. Yes. He's fine."
'Just tell yourself that. Over and over.' His new mantra: 'Cal is alive, Cal is safe, you're going to wake up and everything will be all right...' Niko fell back into a fitful sleep. He had no idea that when he awoke that next morning, he wouldn't remember anything that had passed. Or that he'd much rather keep it that way.

-The next day-
"If every human looked identical in appearance, body structure, hair and voice, then there would only be one standard of beauty and every human would be a part of this, piece and whole." Niko stated, sounding dangerously close to his 'This is a lecture, and Cal, duck that sword!' voice. Good thing they weren't fighting at the time but rather sitting at the little kitchen table and finishing off a very heart-healty non-trans fat made-by-and-approved-for-Niko breakfast. He ought to get them patented. Well, at least Robin and Niko were eating it. Cal was just pushing his bran muffin around on the table with his spoon and perfecting his glum look. He almost had it down pat. "Now replace the word Human with Puck. It makes perfectly logical sense for the seemingly senseless narcissism."
"You flatter me! Though, the narcissists can't even come close. We pucks invented the hedonistic ways." Robin smirked, "and positions. Care to try a few while you're in a flattering mood?"
Niko picked up his butter knife and pointed it at Goodfellow. 'Nuff said. The puck hastily looked away, "Guess not."
Amusing himself by picturing Robin chopped to bits by Niko's dull-edged butter knife; Cal did the same to his muffin. He knew his brother would do it too, or at least threaten to. Threats were always good.
"A puck's ego is unmatched." Cal passed the orange juice to Robin, raising his brows.
"We're quite secure in our puck-tastic ways, thank you." Pouring himself another glass, the puck wandered to the kitchen's cupboards to look for some of Cal's alcohol stash. Too bad Cal had finished it off last night while the puck took residence in his bed. While Robin was rooting through the cupboards, Cal pondered how much it would cost to get his mattress gassed. Or just get a new one. Watching the puck's backside, clothed this time, as he rifled through the lower cabinets, Cal concluded he should just trade beds with Niko while Niko was out at school. Perfect, problem solved. Niko would be none the wiser and Cal wouldn't have to get puck-germs on himself every time he tried to sleep.
The problem was that Cal couldn't get the image of a bare-assed Robin out of his head. It wasn't the first time he'd seen him nude, but it had a more lasting impression for some strange reason. He figured it was either the repetition or the proximity. He knew he'd slept in his bed, in the nude. Yes, naked as a jay-bird. In Cal's bed. All of this while Cal had to settle for the morning cartoons on a lumpy, second-hand couch that randomly stabbed a spring up his back. Not that Cal was angry over not being in said bed at the time or anything. Well, it was his bed, so yes, he was actually. He was a bit miffed that the puck had taken his spot, molested it with his bare skin, and then jaunted around the apartment in his birthday suit like he was marking himself off some new territory.
Looking up from his muffin, Cal caught Niko staring at him intently. His brother shook his head and then went to the sink to rinse off the dishes. "It's only temporary, Cal."
"Yeah, yeah. Using that Jedi mind trick to read my thoughts again?"
"You're agitated. Go meditate."
"I did, Obi-wan."
"Do some more."
Robin butted in, having given up on the quest for hidden alcohol, "Oh yes, some peace and quiet would be a kind favor."
"Do I have to point out I haven't said a damn thing to irritate you?" Incredulously, Cal 's brow furrowed. Robin didn't appear amused.
"You've been sending me foul mental-death threats since you stomped your foot like a child last night. Don't think I didn't hear them. Coincidentally, the Jedi trick was invented by-"
"Wha? Shut up. It's not like you're psychic now." Just the word psychic made Cal think of George, but he let that thought leave his mind. He didn't want to get any further involved as it was. And she never answered his calls anymore.
"Telepathic, and no, true telepaths are not really psychic. I'd tell you a marvelous story about-"
"Save it." Both Cal and Niko chorused. Robin blinked at the gypsies and sighed.
"Fine. You both have just consented to hearing it at a later date. Uncensored. And no ear plugs this time, Niko." Niko actually gave Robin an innocent look, having been caught once in the act of ignoring the puck's tirade in just such a manner. That was, yet again, a moment where Cal wondered what alien species had abducted his usually more mature and logical older brother. Then again, logic dictates that earplugs block out incessant noises, which can disturb meditation, so….
The three men looked up when they heard a tiny rap on the door.
"Promise, probably." Niko went over to answer it. Sliding his gun off the table, Cal wiped the muffin crumbs off onto the floor and slipped it into his front holster. Niko called back into the room, "Time to go."
Robin and Cal joined Niko in the hallway and he locked the apartment behind them. "Promise." Robin smirked unkindly in her direction. She pulled her hood closer over her head and stayed quiet. She wore it to block out the sun, and wasn't a happy camper this morning. Just because her lover, Niko, was interested in having a good-for-nothing trickster as a friend didn't mean she had to like him. Especially since he was constantly hitting on Niko in ever more inappropriate methods. Promise, as a very possessive lover and vampire, got a bit twitchy about the sex-addict's constant proximity to her human boyfriend. Niko obviously noticed but preferred to pretend to be oblivious to their little problem. He seemed to have no care one way or another if the puck was constantly chasing his ass, and it made his brother frustrated. Because he just wouldn't quit it. Even after the puck claimed monogamy with the molting peri, he still chased after Niko's ass on occasion for good old time's sake, probably to see the furious looks on Promise's pretty face.
Well, Cal couldn't totally blame him in this case since even Delilah said Niko had a fine ass, for a human. He didn't make a habit of staring at his brother's ass, so he couldn't personally be certain, though she and Promise seemed to be in agreement about that point. 'It's strange what females who have little in common actually agree on.' The fact that Promise already had some first-hand experience on the topic of Niko's ass seemed to rub Robin the wrong way. Ok, it made him way more than jealous. And full-circle back to Niko, who was stuck in the middle, with his fingers metaphorically stuffed in his sharp ears while the pissing contest ensued around him, starting once again since Promise finally chose to comment, "Must we bring him? Can we simply dump him at a bar on the way? It's as good as a babysitter with plenty of bottles. Aren't we after a different puck?"
"If we keep him with us we will know we're not shooting the wrong one." This stunning and heartless sounding observation came from Niko. Robin looked affronted.
The vampire smirked slyly, "A dreadful mistake that would be!" Cal actually hid his face in his palm.
"You and everyone else in the world would just love to get a piece of me," Robin started, glaring from Niko to Promise, "Some would in much better and far more entertaining ways than others. Your opinion doubtless would be just as amusing for yourself but for some reason I've a nagging suspicion I wouldn't find it so."
The woman pulled a black veil across her nose, "Shut up, goat."
About to open his mouth to counter her once more, he was interrupted by Niko's fresh death-glare. "So where was the puck sighted?" Niko questioned Promise on the information she and her informants had thus-far collected, wrapping a hand around her waist as they headed down stairs. Of all places, the puck was at a gym.
"Work it baby! Roll those spare tires!" a curiously familiar voice could be heard over some ditzy eighties pop song being pumped out through crackling speakers. A yoga instructor. The puck they had found was teaching the fine art of bending over backwards and pressing your nose into your butt. Or your neighbor's butt if the yoga mats were too close together.
Cal grimaced at the sight of a two hundred and ninety pound man trying to contort himself into a pretzel while struggling to keep his inexperienced self upright and follow the puck's elaborate and probably for the fat guy, dangerous, instructions. The man was sweating thickly, cussing under his breath, and his bones could be heard popping under the strain. He appeared to be the only participant in this yoga class, so this puck must be a one-on-one instructor. "You're doing great Fabio!" the trickster on the floor called prompting the blubbery man to grin in response, though he slipped on the mat and fell on his rather large ass. "Now keep those legs up!" It appeared to be quite a strain for him but you had to give the guy credit for trying hard. "You can do it!" Robin's doppelganger seemed far too enthused.
The fat man howled an affirmative and nodded, face red, legs straining, staring toward the back of the room where the puck was mimicking the position in a lighter, thinner, sensuously graceful move. Finally noticing that they had company, the puck gave Fabio a moment to catch his laboring breath and switched the music to something instrumental, the light fluttering of a pan pipe. He bounced up, just a ball of energy, and skipped over to Robin, grabbed an armful of him and planted a soft kiss on his lips, which Robin slowly accepted. For all the world they looked like a pair of identical twins making out.
"Hey there, handsome!" the now more husky voice drawled. "Come to get a little one-on-one exercise?" the puck in the tight green spandex (which left nothing to imagining) quickly studied the others standing around them and suggestively wiggled in Robin's arms, "First time is free!"
"Sorry, we're not interested in joining a gym." Promise stated with a bit of venom dripping acidly in her tone. Two pucks must be overkill for her. Noticing her tone, he turned to her and scowled, "Bite me, bitchy!" his scowl instantly flickered into something more intense, "You know you want to!"
"It is not the best of ideas to tell a vampire to bite you." Niko said softly, mindful of the fact that Fabio was nearby. Vampires and other non-human creatures weren't exactly out of the closet. Yet. "Could you please tell us why you attacked Ishiah in the Ninth circle a few days ago?" that's Niko, right down to business.
"Who?" his obliviously staged eye fluttering kind of gave him away. Robin placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. "Oh, the Peri. Yes, he was fun to play with. And I remember you!" his voice turned playful as Robin's double spotted Cal, "You taste… spicy."
"You tasted-?" at Niko's surprised stare, his brother shuffled his feet. A moment passed while the puck just smirked at Cal, who finally looked sheepish and announced, "The puck kissed me."
"Scandal!" Robin glared at the still grinning mirror image before him. "How dare you- I haven't even, yet! Ah-" the other puck hid his face in Robin's collar and rubbed in a cat-like manner. "I was just having fun with him." Cal could almost swear the puck was purring.
"Death threats, sent to Ishiah, are fun to you?" the vampire's angry glare was ignored by the unnamed puck. Behind them, Fabio seemed to have fallen asleep to the lulling sound of the pan pipe. The puck had probably recorded it himself.
"If done properly," the puck muttered, "What's your name, handsome?" he asked, looking up into a mirror of his own eyes.
"Robin Goodfellow. I thought you knew that."
"Why, yes! Never hurts to check. You sell cars nearby." Piper said, pulling a wallet out of god knows where and inspecting its contents closely.
"And you?" Robin glanced down at the man nuzzling his neck and noticed what was in his hands.
"I am Piper."
"I see." That seemed to be enough information for Robin, who stilled and stared at his other self.
Promise snorted, "Not very original."
Piper giggled at her, "That depends on the chronological sequence of events. I am the original." He stated, waving the wallet in front of his nose.
"Oh, hardly!" This from Robin.
"I swear I am!" Piper declared, stepping back from Robin with his arms crossed and a pained look on his face.
"Don't even try to pull that. And give me my wallet back, you sneak thief!" furious, Robin lunged at the thieving trickster, missed by inches as Piper was every bit as fast and agile as he, with Robin's stolen wallet still in his hands.
Cal glanced at Niko, who just stood there listening with an amused expression crossing his face, then at Promise who stoically watched the pucks argue. He noticed that Fabio was snoring lightly and decided to pull his gun out to aim it at Piper. "We can do this the easy way or the fun way. Either way is my way, so I'm up for either. Or both."
"Kinky!" the gleeful declaration came from Piper, who paused to stare at Cal's gun long enough for Robin to tackle him and reclaim his wallet, yanking it forcefully from the other's manicured fingers. "Is that a Desert Eagle? Where were you hiding that beauty?"
Ignoring the question, Cal kept his aim leveled at the new puck. "Give it up. Quit it with the impersonations. That bullshit is getting old fast."
"And return the money from the fundraiser." Niko added as an afterthought.
"You will stop attacking the members of the Kin and the vampire community. Our employers have requested we either halt your activities forcefully or provide them with your head on a stick. I brought the stick. It's in the car. Which do you prefer? I would enjoy collecting your head for them but considering the mess that would make…" Promise trailed off, seeing that her words had absolutely no impact on the apparently mentally unstable Piper who continued to grin manically.
"The money's been spent. The fundraiser was my idea anyway. Just a way of gathering a bit of money for myself. If a fool is dumb enough to part with his paycheck then what does that matter to me? I get a free dinner."
"You will stop your unruly behavior and impersonations?" Promise raised her delicate brows. Piper shrugged, "Fine, fine, spoil all my fun. I was just messing with my cousin here."
"I am not your cousin, more like second uncle." Cal holstered his gun and groaned.
"Details." Piper waved them off and went back to his yoga mat. He'd effectively dismissed them, settling down to wait for Fabio to regain consciousness. He was perfectly inclined to let the fat man sleep. He was expensive, and being paid by the hour.
Robin watched him walk away, "I've plenty."
"Not now." Niko warned as Fabio let out a snort in his sleep.
--Meanwhile--
The wolf could smell it. Delectable, mouth-watering tuna with cheese. And roast beef with tomato. And Bacon. What self respecting canine wouldn't like bacon? In sandwiches, surely. And they were nearby. 'Yum.'
Too bad he had to steer his cousin away from the tourists, not just for his own safety but theirs as well. He couldn't trust him near people anymore now that he was stuck with just the wolf mind and no human consciousness any longer. He wouldn't have minded raiding their picnic basket himself for a few modern treats… Oh, great, he was going to turn in to Yogi Bear at this rate! But he supposed deer and small mammal would suffice. It was all that his cousin Catcher was into lately. That, and chasing other wolves around the forest all day. That seemed to amuse him to no end, especially the females who never really wanted anything to do with him, always nipping him on the nose when he got too fresh.
Too bad. Catcher deserved to get some action after everything he'd been through. Living as the 'All Wolf' (Or like the severely debilitating autistic version of werewolf-who-can't-change-form-anymore, which many wolves like Delilah would just die to be,) wasn't really what he'd thought it would be, for certain.
Oh, the things he gave up for family. Like showers, soft pillows and blankets, milkshakes, microwave pizza, greasy French fries, and pasteurized produced cheese product. But someone had to look after Catcher in this state, and Rafferty wouldn't let anyone else do it. He didn't know anyone else who could help him, either. He'd traveled the globe and never found a healer capable of saving Catcher. Not even the demented mummy the gypsies had kept locked in a coffin since a day before the first day of forever, the self proclaimed master of healers whom he, the puck, and the Leandros brothers had just chased across the United States… but healing went both ways; both destructive and creative. But not even the most skilled healer could help him because there was nothing wrong with him. He'd reverted to his natural state genetically, perfectly physically healthy. Bull crap.
But Rafferty had long since given up, resigned to simply wandering the forests with his wolfish cousin in the lead. He now followed him wherever he chose to roam. He'd been rained on more times than he could count. Cold, wet rain. He seemed to think Catcher was fond of running in the rain now. It was way different back then when you could come inside after and dry off!
They started out in Yellowstone. If his calculations were correct they were now somewhere north, near Washington. They'd travelled pretty far, never quite fitting in wherever they happened to stop. There was one incident in Montana with a Yeti… but he didn't want to think about that. You do not want to fight a Yeti. That was one cave that stayed off-limits on a dreary, hail-raining morning. Plus, Rafferty didn't want them to get too close to civilization: that was a barrel of monkeys he didn't want to deal with. No point getting shot by poachers or relocated to a preserve.
Catcher turned to head toward the new scent of deli meats and decided he wanted to investigate, but Rafferty cut him off, nosed him in the other direction, and nipped him on the nose when he refused to immediately obey. 'Other way, Cuz. We don't want to go there. It's for your own good.' He could swear Catcher was rolling his eyes at him, tongue lolling listlessly, but he stood his ground. No tourists. No campers.
So he tried to get his cousin to keep moving, trudging forward through the thick undergrowth of the tall green tree lined forest. He was about to kick into a run, when he heard a whimpering sound. It sounded vaguely human. Catcher heard the same thing, this time taking off before he could be admonished. He ran forward a few paces but abruptly slid to a halt, looking down. Rafferty caught up to him and stared, startled, at the sight before him. A young kid had fallen down into what appeared to be an old sink hole, thin and deep, and though there was evidence he'd been trying to climb and failed, it was obvious that the child couldn't get out. He was curled up in a ball, crying. He couldn't be more than five years old. What the hell was he doing out here alone?
Sniffing the area, Rafferty realized the kid must have gotten lost from the tourists trail, and had probably belonged with the group of school kids that had passed through here earlier that same day. He and Catcher had watched them pass earlier and he'd had to hold on to Catcher's tail with his teeth to keep him from running out to them. Catcher was always extremely playful in his wolf form, and now that his wolf mind had taken over, he couldn't be certain if he wanted to eat the kids or just toss around a Frisbee with them. Maybe both.
Catcher started digging at the hole, only working to widen it further, while obviously trying to get to the kid, but for what reason Rafferty could only guess at. Catcher was making grunting noises as he worked, digging at the edges of the hole, working up a good sweat. The kid, now that he'd finally looked up, started screaming at the giant wolf who seemed to want to attack him but couldn't due to the distance between the lip of the hole and the crevice the boy had curled up in below.
If the screaming caught the attention of the couple who were having a picnic a ways back, they might come over to save the kid. Then again, they probably hadn't heard him earlier if he'd been calling for help.
Rafferty weighed his choices. He didn't have any clothing here. If he changed back to his human form to save the child, he'd have to explain to the couple back there why there was a naked man with a wolf tagging along behind him in the middle of the cold, northern forests, all alone without resources and in a random place apparently only there to save a random boy. The child's screaming intensified as Catcher started drooling on him. 'Great. Just what he needed. Frighten the little kid out of his wits. Good one, Cuz. I think he just pissed himself.'
Rafferty mentally shrugged, thinking now that Catcher had the right idea. They could widen the lip of the hole far enough that it could act as a ramp to get the kid out, If the kid could reach it they could give him a couple ledges to climb up to. That would take a hell of a lot of digging, but hey, they had time, right? Something productive to put their paws to. Catcher gave him another eye roll as he got to work. Sometimes he thought he'd caught a bit of intelligence behind those wolf eyes, but then he remembered Catcher wasn't really Catcher anymore.

Chys: More to come-- I have it written, need to post it after some HTML formatting editing.... feedback would be appreciated greatly. I am seriously trying to improve my writing style so be brutal if I need it.
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A Pucked-Up Situation