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My Dearest Holmes	By : Leloi Category: Titles in the Public Domain > Sherlock Holmes > Slash > Slash Views: 2629 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: This is a work fiction, based on the Sherlock Holmes series by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Chapter List
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I never married. I know in the stories that were published I had a wife and my life with her took me away from Baker Street. But that was purely fiction. I wrote about her so the public would not suspect Holmes’ and my illegal activities. Who would guess that we were lovers when I wrote about a bride who waited for me between each adventure?
“I’m jealous.” Holmes announced, tossing my latest manuscript on the desk.
“What are you jealous of?” I asked, rescuing my writing from scattering onto the floor.
“Your wife.”
“I’m not married.”
Holmes gave me a look, narrowing his eyes and setting his mouth in a firm line. “Some sighs and hand holding… is that all it takes for you to fall under a woman’s spell?”
Gaping at him a moment, I finally chuckled. “Holmes, she’s not even REAL. I just added her in so the public won’t think we’re doing anything wrong.”
“We’re not doing anything wrong, Watson. It’s the law that is wrong on this one. There’s no reason two adult human men can’t be together if they so choose. They aren’t harming anyone. And if it keeps them BOTH sane then all the better.”
“Yes, I know that.” I responded. “I’m sorry it has to be this way… but I want to protect us… our partnership. I don’t want to lose that.”
Holmes wrapped his arms around me, resting his head on my shoulder. “And I don’t want to lose you, dearest friend.”
“Maybe I can kill her off…”
“You cad!” Holmes chuckled, kissing my neck before pulling away.
I beamed at him. “Actually… I like that you’re jealous.”
“You do?” Holmes’ eyebrows raised considerably.
“It makes me feel… worth something.”
“My god, Watson! How can you be…? Listen to me, John H Watson…” His hands caught my lapels and he pulled me close to face him. “You are irreplaceable… as a companion and friend. Never doubt your worth, my friend.”
I bowed my head. “I’m afraid I have no worth, Holmes. They took my soul… I know I had been free with it before then but they forced me to… to…”
Holmes wrapped his arms around me, pulling my head to his shoulder.
“I’m nothing but a whore!” I cried, trying to pull away. “I was sold…” Unable to pull away, I tried sinking, feeling my legs give out.
Holmes held me tightly, not letting me fall. We sank together to the floor, Holmes murmuring gently in my ear. “My dearest, John… I’m here. I have you.” My Christian name on his lips surprised me but my heart hurt too much to reflect on it. I found myself sobbing against his chest. It was with sudden realization that he had often murmured the same just before I woke fully from my nightmares. This was a waking nightmare and he held me just as he had when I was asleep. I felt myself rocked as Holmes hummed softly under his breath, his lips kissing my cheek and temple.
Slowly I regained composure, my fingers clasping his shirt like a child and my body cradled on his lap. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to break down like that. I don’t know what came over me.”
“Many terrible things happen in war. People do terrible things… break each other down so as to destroy them. You aren’t a whore. Do you understand? What they did to you was horrible… but that’s not who you are.”
“I never felt so dirty in all my life. Never! And I’ve been in plenty of beds before that.”
Holmes chuckled a bit. “Now I am jealous… hearing about the beds you’ve been in before mine.”
“They didn’t mean anything. I was young and… insatiable.”
“Now you’re older and insatiable.” Holmes reached up to caress my cheek. “I hope you don’t regret following me home.”
“No, of course not.” I whispered.
“This place became a home with you in it.” Holmes breathed. “You’ve given me something I never thought I could have.”
“I feel the same. I never thought I would find a partner who would want me after all I’d been through.”
“My dear boy…” Holmes lightly kissed my forehead. His words were gentle and sweet. Again I wished to weep, hearing them.
Wrapping my arms around his shoulders my face nestled against his neck. “I love you, Sherlock.”
It seemed Holmes stiffened for a moment, but his hands wrapped around my waist, holding me tightly. “No one has ever said that to me.” His lips found my ear. “Thank you.” A chuckle escaped, warming my neck with his expelled air. “Would it trouble you to know I want to take you to bed right now?”
“But it’s the middle of the day and any number of clients may show up.”
“Tonight then…” Holmes kissed my lips, savoring them.
There came a sound of heavy footsteps on the stairs and an impatient knock on our door. We pulled away and I set myself to rights again as I stood up.
“Come in.” Holmes called, not even bothering to get up from the floor. It seemed he recognized the footsteps for in came Mycroft Holmes, puffing a bit from the climb.
“How did you know it was your brother?” I asked in awe.
Holmes cast me a look, a smirk on his lips. “Brother Mycroft, what brings you here?”
^.~
The events at Reichenbach Falls happened much in the way I wrote. Staring into the abyss I had an overwhelming urge to throw myself in after Holmes. Unlike my writing I didn’t have a wife and home to return to. All I had was Holmes and he was gone. I barely manage to stop myself from sobbing as the inspectors came to look around the scene and draw their own conclusions.
I returned to the hotel, feeling drained and hollow, vaguely promising the inspectors to be around for a statement when they were ready to hear it. With numb legs I made my way up to the hotel room. An old man stood before my door but I paid him no mind. Opening the door he followed me inside the room and looked to me expectantly.
“I’m sorry… I’m afraid I can’t help you right now.” I told him as I poured myself a generous drink.
“You look like you lost your dearest friend.” The old man remarked.
I nodded with solemnity and took another drink. With some irritation I noticed that the old man moved to the door to shut and lock it. “What do you want?”
“A drink would be nice.”
I turned to mix him one, upset by his presumption to intrude on my grief. When I turned to hand him the drink I was in for a shock. Standing before me was Sherlock Holmes! A smile played over his features and for the first time in my life I fainted.
When I came to I found myself on the bed with my shirt open. Holmes sat beside me on the bed, anxiously assessing me. “Thank god you are alright. I’m afraid I gave you quite the shock.”
“You’re alive.” I stated, staring up at him. I could see that the old man had been one of his disguises.
“Yes, I’m alive. I’m so sorry Watson. I must ask you to keep my survival a secret from everyone. I have to go into hiding for a few years to flush out my enemies. I cannot allow you to come with me.”
Holmes always seemed to know my mind and voiced my thoughts. I didn’t bother to ask how he knew, but looked away, frowning. “Why can’t I come with you?”
“I am so sorry.” Leaning in his fingertips gently brushed my cheek. “Mycroft and I made these arrangements if the opportunity should present itself. I have asked him to take you in during my absence.”
“He is to look after me, then? Like a governess?”
“No! Oh Watson… I know you want to come with me. But the enemy I face would think nothing of going through you to get to me. I can’t let that happen to you. I wish to protect you. I can face this knowing that you are safe. Mycroft has the means to protect you.”
I still didn’t agree and continued to frown to show my displeasure.
“Please, my darling Watson… John. I need to know that you are safe. Will you stay with Mycroft?” His forehead to my own, he breathed against my lips.
“I’ll stay.” His use of my Christian name always melted my resolve.
Holmes kissed me deeply, as if committing my taste to memory. “If I do not return…”
“Hush!” I hissed, trying to banish that thought.
“If I do not return,” he repeated, placing a fingertip on my lips to silence me. “I want you to know that I love you.”
I stared up at him, shocked by his admission. It seemed he was equally embarrassed for his cheeks were tinted red. “Sherlock…?” I whispered.
“I love you.” Quickly he restated his words with more conviction as he took my lips again.
Together we struggled to unclothe the other and couple together in a desperate attempt to reconnect before our separation. I felt helpless knowing he wanted to face the coming danger alone. Guiding him inside of me I felt his desperation and fear over the situation. But we came together to reaffirm our connection. “I love you too,” I whispered, kissing his brow after we were both spent.
“Wait for me?” Holmes curled up against me.
“Of course I will.” I replied.
“If something should happen to me…”
“Stop! I don’t want to think about that!” I cried, covering my face with my hand.
“This is important, my love.” Holmes gently pulled my hand away. “All that I have is yours.”
“I don’t want it.” I whispered.
“It’s still yours.” Holmes kissed my forehead. “I will try my hardest to return to you, knowing you wait for me. My John wishes it so.”
We held each other for a time, not wishing to part but knowing it had to be done. Holmes was gone from my bed before the night was over.
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My Dearest Holmes