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By Twilight	By : McGonagall Category: Twilight Series > Het > Bella/Edward Views: 3618 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
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Edward looked back at me with his bright golden eyes, concern pooling in them. I couldn't help but wonder if this would have hurt the same with another human being – another male, who wasn't a… vampire.
Sure enough, it hadn't been pleasant at first. I, however, couldn't grasp that feeling of pain anymore. It had been exuberantly present and lingering until the pain flew over to pleasure. Pain and pleasure, two feelings between which only a very thin line existed.
Nervousness had surely played its part. I had had no idea what to expect; no idea what would be waiting for me on the other end… the end on which I would no longer be a virgin.
I heaved a sigh at the thought of men, and women, who still believed that a girl only became a woman after her first night with a man. Edward had been my first and I didn't feel any different to before he had released his semen inside of me.
"This wasn't supposed to happen tonight," he spoke, and I couldn't help but be taken aback by the sound of Edward's cold voice.
"Do you... Do you regret making love?" I struggled to get out.
"No, Bella," he whispered, head shaking in contradiction and gathering me in the marble arms I had come to feel safe in. He swiftly pressed his lips to my temple before laying back and cradling me against his chest. Though the gesture would have been described as warm by a novelist, I didn't feel it that way. Although I lay atop of him, held in place by the restraint his arms provided, I couldn't help but feel distance, seeming to enlarge with every second tickling by.
I leaned up on his chest, my long dark brown hair crashing down like a curtain and brushing over his skin. I trailed over his torso with my finger tips before looking up at him and asking to explain with my eyes. "Please," I added.
"I wasn't supposed to lose control like that." My eyes went back and forth trying to read more behind his words, but I couldn't really. I didn't understand what he meant, but Edward didn't leave me waiting long and went on. "This is going to have consequences," he said, and I knew for sure he was already blaming himself for this, as I tried to grasp it all.
"Why?" I stuttered. "Because you… Because you just–" "Exactly," he said, suddenly letting go of me and swinging both feet over the edge of the bed, resulting in me sliding off his stone cold chest on the mattress as he came to sit upright on the edge, holding head in hands once more. I frowned, irritated. "I should have never agreed to this," he continued. "Who knows what I just did to you."
"Does it matter?" I questioned, and I immediately regretted saying this out aloud. Edward turned to me fiercely. "Of course! It matters!" he snapped. "Bella, don't you even care the least about yourself?"
I pushed myself up with one hand and tried my best to return the same fierceness, but I couldn't compete with Edward. "What's the worst that could even happen? Me, too, becoming a vampire?" He didn't answer. "I never wanted to stay human after marrying you. You… You promised me!" I spluttered.
"I still don't understand what part of becoming a vampire yourself attracts you so much," he sighed, despair sounding through at this point.
"If I'm going to get old, I want it to be with you." This seemed to have caught his attention, because his bright golden eyes shot up at once. "And if that isn't going to happen, than I rather not," I concluded. "I don't ever want to be without you anymore," I whispered.
Edward didn't try and pull back as I leaned in to kiss him, warm meeting cold in a passionate kiss. He rolled me backwards in bed and hovered over me as one cold hand came to rest on my hipbone, the other supporting his weight so he wouldn't crush me. My arms both weaved around his neck as the kiss came to the hungriest point, on which he, to my surprise, didn't break apart from me either.
His palm stroked back and forth, practically setting my skin on fire by the friction. My dark brown eyes had closed as soon as he had given in to me again, his breath making me feel dizzy. His eyes had been a light green as a human, Carlisle had told me once. And I already couldn't place the specific memory anymore. I could hardly recollect anything of my life before Edward. Because, now, he basically was… my life.
My pelvic bone shifted briefly as he slid down to my lower abdomen. Edward laughed at me sweetly before letting a single finger slip inside me, soon adding a second one and starting to drive in and out at a steady, fast pace.
It felt different, yet brought me on the same path of pleasure. I soon reached the invisible finish with two fingers inside me and collapsed into his marble arms convulsing against him. Edward chortled, warm to me for this once.
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