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Sex and the Single(ish) Vampire	By : tbird1965 Category: Twilight Series > Crossovers Views: 7312 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
There is a whole lot going on is this chapter. Eric Northman has been asked by Carlisle to help Edward with his sexual problems. Eric enlists the help of Vampire Buddy, Damon Salvatore. Damon also helps Eric to fufill Sookie's fantasy of breakfast with her Vampire. The Barnabas mentioned, but never seen is Barnabas Collins from Dark Shadows. I hear that Johnny Depp will be playing him in a movie coming out this year. Well anyway, I really hope you like this one. I've been thinking about it for a long time.
Disclaimer; I don't own anything.
"Uh huh." Eric Northman muttered into the phone, "Yes. I see." he sighed heavily, "Well I'm sure I can take care of your young progeny's little problem. But you will owe me Carlisle." he nodded again. "Well I was planning on having a Vampire Night Out anyway. Damon Salvatore is coming, your Edward and if we can get him out of his cave, Barnabas." Eric laughed, "Don't worry Carlisle, we'll take good care of your Edward." he hung up the phone.
"Pam." he muttered.
"Yes, Master?" Pam leaned against his office door, looking bored and a little put out.
"I'm hosting a Vampire's Night out here next Friday." Eric began.
Pam huffed loudly. "You are not bringing Damon Salvatore here again, are you?"
Eric stared at his child sternly, "Yes. Damon will be here and another young Vampire, Edward Cullen, he's one of Carlisle's children. I'm inviting Barnabas, but I don't know if he'll be able to make it."
"Barnabas" Pam scoffed, "He's positively stuck in the Victorian Era. It's like he thinks he's Dracula or something."
Eric chuckled. His child wasn't wrong. Barney was still working the black cape and tuxedo look. It was pathetic.
"Pam," Eric continued, "Carlisle has asked us for a favor and I have assured him we will comply. Damon should not only be able to help, but he should thoroughly enjoy this task."
"And what "favor" is this?" Pam asked warily.
Eric chuckled. "It seems that Edward is dating a human girl and they plan to marry. Edward is a virgin and is too afraid to attempt sex with a human female. Carlisle has asked me to train his son in L 'Art d'Amours"
"A Virgin Vampire." Pam scoffed. "Why are you telling me this Master?" she asked.
"Because I want you and Yvetta to help in the training process."
Pam rolled her eyes dramatically. "Must I master?"
"Yes Pam. You must. It is an order. They will be arriving in a few days. I want some True Blood available and get a case of that new stuff, Virgin Maidens. I hear it's fabulous. Oh, and Damon will need a bottle of Jack Daniels."
"Master," Pam sighed. "The last time Damon got drunk he antagonized Barnabas until they both transformed into a bat and a crow and chased each other all over the bar."
Eric laughed heartily. "That was a good night. Take care of my requests, Pam. I command it." his voice was stern. "And for the evening, I'd like to see you in white lingerie and I want Yvetta to be nude."
"As you wish." Pam said sullenly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Edward, can I see you in my office, please?"
"Sure Carlisle. What's up?" Edward asked.
"This." Carlisle said, handing Edward an airline ticket.
Edward looked at the ticket. "Why am I going to Shreveport?"
"I want you to spend some time with other Male Vampires involved in relationships with Human Females." Carlisle explained. "You'll be visiting my friends, Eric Northman and Damon Salvatore. Both are and have been sexually active with humans. I'm hoping they can, uhhmm, help you with your problems with Bella."
Edward stared at Carlisle. "But Bella and I don't have any problems."
"Yes. Edward. You do. Since you are unwilling to turn her and are determined to wait, you need to lose your virginity and learn that you CAN safely have sex with a human. Emmett and Rosalie frequently have sex with humans. You are driving everyone in this house crazy." he said staring intently at Edward. "You are going to Shreveport to learn how to have sex. No arguments."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Damon walked up to the front door of Fangtasia, ignoring all the humans waiting patiently in line. "Pam" he called, "How wonderful to see you again. Let me look at you." he said leering at her. Winking, he kissed her on the cheek. "When are we going to have a night together, you sexy thing."
"The Master is in on his throne, Damon." Pam said smirking.
"I'll have you yet, my dear." Damon said smiling at her. Turning away he entered the bar.
"Eric!" Damon called as he approached the throne. "How are you?"
"Good Damon." Eric smiled, "have a seat." He motioned a waitress to bring Damon a Jack on the Rocks. Watching Damon take a drink, Eric wondered at the different varieties of Vampires. Damon drank tons of alcohol and could eat and enjoy human food. He slept when he wanted and did not experience the bleeds from lack of sleep. Damon also possessed an item that Eric wanted almost as much as he wanted Sookie's love. The ring. The ring that allowed Damon to walk freely in the sunlight.
"So is Barney, the old bat, gonna be able to make it this evening?" Damon asked.
"No, he called and sent his apologies." Eric said, "Actually, I think this evenings festivities might have proven to much for poor old Barney." Eric chuckled.
Damon raised an eyebrow, "So we have something different planned for this evening?"
Damon smiled wickedly as Eric explained the "favor" he had promised to do for Carlisle.
"The Cullens?" Damon asked, "Aren't they those sparkly Vampires from up North?"
"The very same." Eric answered. "It will be tricky, only because he can not bite her in anyway. They never sleep, can walk in the day light, but have the misfortune of having venom in their fangs. Sex without biting." Eric shuddered.
Damon nodded in agreement.
Eric turned to Damon and stared at him. "You have wanted to fuck my child for sometime now, haven't you?" he asked.
Damon nodded slowly.
"I would like to make an arrangement with you, Damon." Eric began. "While I am working with Edward, I will assure you that Pam will submit to your every desire."
"And in return?" Damon asked cautiously.
"In return, I would like to borrow your ring. Just for the morning. I have a certain, Human, I would like to surprise with breakfast in bed." Eric smiled, his fangs running out slightly.
"What am I supposed to do while your enjoying breakfast?" Damon asked.
Eric leered at Damon, "Hopefully you and young Edward will still be enjoying Yvetta."
Eric glanced up and saw Pam approaching with a thin young Vampire. He stood up. "This most be Master Cullen. Allow me to introduce myself, I am Eric Northman and this is Damon Salvatore. I see you have already met my child, Pam."
Edward nodded, "It's a pleasure to meet you." he mumbled.
"Pam/" Eric called, "We are going to retire to the basement. "You and Yvetta, bring the refreshments.”
Eric, Edward and Damon had settled themselves at the table that had been set up in the basement. "So let me get this straight, Eddie. You can go out in the daylight, but you sparkle in the sun?"
"It's Edward. And that's correct." Edward responded, a little nervously.
"Sparkles." Damon chuckled. "And you never fucked a human?"
"I've never had sex with anyone." Edward said, lowering his eyes.
"Well that changes tonight." Eric said, smiling, Looking up he purred, "Ahh Pam and Yvetta, perfect timing"
Pam entered wearing white satin and lace lingerie, while Yvetta was stark naked. Pam carried a tray with True Blood, Jack on the Rocks and 2 bottles of Virgin Maidens. Edward gaped at Yvetta's nudity.
"Now Edward," Eric began, "I understand that you consume no human blood whatsoever, so I have plenty of True Blood, I hope AB negative is alright with you."
Edward nodded as he reached for a bottle. "But for you Damon. I have a special treat. A brand new product, very expensive, very rare. Donated blood from Virgins. It's become quiet a profitable business. Selling a bag or two of your young daughters blood."
Damon reached for a bottle and took a sip. 'Oh my God, that is good." he said.
"I thought you might like it." Eric chuckled. "So tell me. How is your love life?"
The three Vampires enjoyed their beverages and chatted about life, death, humans. Eric shared the story of his blood bond with Sookie. Damon talked about finding out about Katherine and his growing love for Elena. Edward told them about Bella. During this conversation, Yvetta and Pam reclined on a bed in the background, leisurely kissing and stroking one another. Eric had carefully placed this bed so that it would be directly in Edward's line of sight."
"So tell me Edward," Eric said. "This Bella of yours begs you to fuck her, yet you refuse. I would give my afterlife to have Sookie beg me. Yet you deny a willing female. Why is that?"
Edward couldn't tear his eyes away from the two females. He cleared his throat. "I've never had sex before and I'm afraid I will hurt her. I couldn't live with myself if I hurt her."
"Well lucky for you, you are in the company of two Vampires who completely understand your feelings. I, myself, would perish if I ever harmed my precious Sookie and I'm sure that Damon feels the same about his Elena"
Damon nodded his head solemnly.
"I have here two females. One human. One Vampire." Eric gestured to the bed, where Pam was kissing Yvetta passionately. "I would like you to join Yvetta and myself. Damon will be amusing himself with Pam. Shall we Damon."
Oh yes we shall." Damon stood up, leering at Pam.
Edward watched in fascination as both Eric and Damon stripped off their clothing. Damon walked like a panther to Pam and held out his hand "I'm going to make you sorry that you ever told me no." he murmured, pulling her in for a passionate kiss. Pam moaned when Damon's tongue touched hers and his hand slid in between her legs. Pushing her gently, he led her to another mattress in the room.
Eric wrapped his arms around Yvetta and kissed her. "Come here Edward." he called. His voice was not asking, but demanding. Edward took a tentative step forward. "Remove your clothing" he ordered. Eric whispered to Yvetta and she lay down on the mattress, Eric continued kissing her. Edward slowly removed all of his clothes, but left his boxers on. Eric noticed, but made no comment. "Kneel down here." he ordered.
Edward flinched as he heard Pam scream Damon's name in ecstasy. He glanced over, Damon's head was buried between Pam's legs and she was pulling his hair. Despite himself, Edward was becoming aroused.
He knelt down next to Yvetta. "Now, Edward. Touch her. Where ever and however you please."
"Ilus, ütle mulle, kui see on töötlemata või valutab" Eric whispered to Yvette. She nodded her head.
"She'll say if I'm being to rough?" Edward asked.
"You speak Estonian?" Eric smiled.
"A little." Edward shrugged, reaching out to gently touch Yvetta's breast. He massaged it gently, he was becoming very excited touching her bare skin. He lowered his head to kiss her breast but pulled back.
"What are you worried about Edward?" Eric whispered.
"The venom in my fangs. I'm afraid I might accidentally bite her or even scrape her with my fangs."
"Huh" Eric said, "Hang on, keep touching. I think I have a solution."
Eric stood up and walked towards the storeroom. Pam was riding Damon for all she was worth, her head thrown back in ecstasy. Chuckling to himself, Eric rummaged through some sample boxes that had been delivered to Fangtasia. 'Here they are', he thought to himself. 'And I almost threw them away.' He returned to where Edward was lying on his side, caressing Yvette's breasts and stomach.
Shaking the box, Eric smiled down at Edward. "I have your solution. Fang guards."
"Fang guards?" Edward asked.
"Fang guards." Eric repeated, "they are rubber tips that you place over your fangs. That way, if in the throes of passion you inadvertently lose control of your fangs, no damage will be done."
He held the box out to Edward. Edward carefully removed a piece of rubber and placed it over his left fang, he repeated the action with his right.
"Now bite down." Eric instructed.
Edward did as he was told. It felt funny, but his fangs were completely encased in rubber.
Eric leaned down and whispered in Edward's ear. "Now be the Vampire that you were meant to be and fuck her brains out. Do not worry. She will tell me if you are hurting her and I will stop you. But I think you should know, these humans are far more resilient then you give them credit."
Eric sat back and watched Edward "attack" Yvetta. Edward kissed her neck and sucked on her breast. His hands roamed all over her body and delved between her legs. Yvetta was moaning and crying "So good, so good." in Estonian.
"Touch tema munn, naine." Eric whispered to Yvette.
Her hand raked at Edward's boxers, pulling them off of his hips. Rolling over onto his back, he allowed her to remove them. She grasped his dick and begin to stroke him. Edward threw his head back and growled.
Damon and Pam had finished their fun and where watching Yvetta and Edward with fascination.
"Don't hold back too much Edward." Eric urged, "she is liking what you are doing."
Edward rolled Yvetta over and positioned himself between her legs. Growling he plunged into her opening and begin to thrust in and out. It didn't take long before Yvetta was clawing at his back. Edward felt her muscles tighten around his dick, he screamed as he joined her in orgasm. He held her tightly to him for a moment and then rolled off, flopping onto his back.
"Tulge minu juurde nüüd" Eric said, holding his hand out to Yvetta. He held her on his lap and they whispered in Estonian.
"Edward." Eric said. "Yvetta says you were not too rough at all. In fact, she would have liked to have been fucked a little harder. She said your touch was gentle and quite exciting. She is very pleased with your performance. And looks forward to continued practice."
"Now" Eric said, pulling on his pants. "It is nearly dawn. Pam needs to go to ground. And I, have a date for breakfast. Your ring, Damon?" he asked, holding out his hand.
Damon removed his ring and placed it in Eric's palm. Eric looked at it lovingly and placed it carefully on his finger.
"Eric" Damon asked smiling. "Do you know how to cook breakfast?"
Eric looked confused. Damon and Edward laughed.
"Come on Viking." We'll whip you up a breakfast for your lady love.
"Magama nüüd." Eric whispered to Yvetta and she curled up on the mattress.
Eric led the two other Vampires up the stairs and to the kitchen. He had arranged for his day man to buy all the ingredients for a breakfast and a picnic basket, but he hadn't even thought about cooking. Despite the rising sun, Damon could remain in the kitchen as long as the blinds were drawn and he stayed out of any direct light. Eric marveled as the two young vampires worked together, creating a breakfast feast for his Sookie.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eric stood at the front door of Fangtasia, freshly showered, dressed and picnic basket in hand. He was mentally preparing himself to step out in the day light for the first time in a thousand years. "Have fun with Yvetta while I'm gone you two." he winked.
"Eric wait." Damon called. He handed over his sun glasses. "You will probably need these."
"Thanks" Eric said. He put them on and stepped out into the sunlight.
Sookie woke up and blinked her eyes in the sunlight. She listened. She could hear the clink of silverware and dishes on the kitchen table. Sniffing, she could smell bacon and fresh coffee. 'What the hell?' she wondered. Carefully climbing out of bed, she tip toed into the kitchen. She gasped at the sight in front of her. She pinched herself, sure she must be dreaming.
Eric stopped arranging the food on the table and smiled at her. "It's not a dream lover. I thought we might enjoy breakfast together."
"Eric! But..how? The sun?" she ran to him and caressed his cheek, she stared at his blonde hair glinting in the sunlight streaming through the window. "You're not burning. How?"
Eric held up his hand showing her Damon's ring. "A friend loaned me his magic ring." he said, "I'll explain later."
"Don't move." Sookie said.
She ran out of the room and returned a moment later with a quilt. Grabbing Eric's hand, she led him to the back door.
"But what about breakfast?" he asked, laughing.
"It can wait."
Sookie lead him out to the yard, to a sunny patch of grass. Looking around, Eric could see the spot was hidden from the road by the house and the out building. Spreading the quilt out, Sookie laid down and held her hand out to Eric. He touched her hand and laid down next to her. Sookie bent over him and kissed him passionately. 'What are we doing Sookie?" he asked.
"Making love in the sunlight." she said.
The End.
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Sex and the Single(ish) Vampire