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Focused Madness	By : fusedtwilight Category: Twilight Series > General Views: 3772 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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Chapter List
- 29
- 30
- 31
Focused Madness
Chapter 30

Fusedtwilight: Thanks to my beta animegirlkiki and thanks to everyone who reviewed. The time has come, the big battle is finally here. Will Leah save Matthew? Or will she pay the ultimate price?

Leah P.O.V
Seth and I waited for Bella and Edward to finish with the phone. I know they called Nessie and Bella also called Charlie. This was going to be a big fight and everyone wanted to call someone they loved in case it would be the last time.
When they left I dialed home. I hoped mom was there. I needed to hear her voice.
Five rings and she finally picked up. “Hello?”
“Mom, it's me. And Seth,” I said.
“Hey mom,” Seth said into the phone.
“Seth! Leah! Please tell me you are coming home,” she asked.
“Soon...tonight we are having the big showdown,” I said.
She was quiet for a moment. “You’re not sure if you will survive.”
“We are just being cautious,” I said.
She made a sound that was part sigh, part growl. “I hate this! Why can't I get a simple call. Hi mom I love you, not hi mom we might die, just thought we call and say hi.”
“We know, Mom. Believe me we hate calls like this,” I said.
“Tell me everything, I have to know. What has been going on since you got to Italy?”
We took turns telling her. We spared no detail.
“You said you would join the Volturi!” she screeched.
“It was the only way,” I said.
“Leah they are evil! They almost killed us all and they kill humans! You would be disgraced! Banished from La Push forever!”
“I know. But what was I supposed to do mom? Let Aro get his creepy hands on Matthew? It would be like giving a nuke to a spoiled brat.”
“Leah this is insane.”
“Well let me finish, it gets better.”
We told her about the mission, about me finding Matthew and Rosemary's sacrifice. We told her of our plan and how I faced a dilemma. I did not mention the issue with Fred and Nahuel. I don't think she could take it.
“Oh baby, I am so sorry you must go through this,” she said. I could hear the compassion in her voice.
“What should I do Mom?” I asked.
“You are at the crossroads Leah. You face an impossible decision. I can't imagine having to make it myself. Honestly Leah....I don't know what to tell you. Part of me wants to tell you to take him and run, another part see's the wisdom in Nahuel's words...all I can tell you is to listen to your heart. Let it guide you Leah. Make the choice only a mother could make.”
“That's what I am afraid to do,” I said.
We talked for a little while longer. Then the time came when the call had to end.
“Mom, we have to go,” I said.
“Already?” she asked.
“Yeah. We have a war to win,” I said.
“Alright, but promise me you will look out for one another. And Leah, promise me that no matter what happens you will come back to me.”
“I promise mom.”
“Then I will pray for you, and I will pray you save Matthew Leah. Take care my babies, and come back to me safe.”
The call ended and I wiped the tears from my eyes. Seth wrapped his arms around me, giving me a hug. “Don't worry Leah, we'll figure something out, we always do,” he said.
I wanted to believe him. I really did.

Fred P.O.V
We would be leaving in fifteen minutes.
We would meet Joham and his coven half way. As far from the city as possible.
I sat in my room thinking. Thinking of ways to kill Joham, thinking of ways to protect Leah and Matthew. I felt so powerless, a feeling a hated a lot.
How was I going to save them? Between the Volturi and Joham, Alice's vision of Leah's death and even Leah herself.
What was I going to do? Let Leah and Matthew join the Volturi, no I will not let that happen. Nor will I let her kill him. Matthew is like a son to me. I raised him with Leah. I have as much right to decide his fate as her and I say he will live. I say they will both live. And we will be together again.
So I will kill Joham, and if need be I will kill Aro if need be. I will not let them ruin us, I will not lose my family.
I will stand tall and protect them with my life.

Joham P.O.V
We ran through the fields.
It was dark out, the shadows helped mask our presence. Not that we needed it, we moved to fast for the human eye to register.
Matthew ran on my right side and Seraphina ran on my left. We ran for Volterra. More than likely they would be waiting for us, but it mattered not. They would all burn tonight.
All these years of planning and waiting, all the sacrifices I have made have led me to this moment.
The Volturi thought they were so special, thought because they had powers they were better than the rest of us. But tonight they will learn different.

Leah P.O.V
Fred, Seth, Eleazar a few of the Volturi guards and myself staid hidden.
We hid in the trees and Fred kept us hidden from sight. It was dark out, a human would have trouble seeing. But for vampires it would be clear as day.
We waited for Joham and his group to show up. When they did we would sneak around them. I was in my wolf form as was Seth. He insisted he stay with me. I did not stop him. It did not matter if he was with me or the others, he would still be in danger.
We were miles from Volterra. Somewhere, wear we we would not be bothered.
I felt so impatient, I wanted them to hurry up and get here.
“Be calm Leah, they are almost here,” Jake said.
We waited and waited, and then finally they came.
They moved through the tree's, in formation, swift and graceful, just like the Volturi. They were in a triangular formation, like a giant arrow. At the front, leading the charge was Joham, followed by the Romanians. I saw Matthew, he stood next to Seraphina.
A soft whine escaped my mouth. His eyes were still blank and empty as before.
Fred put a hand on my head. I glanced up at him and saw he was staring at Matthew, too. The look on his face showed how disturbed he was to see our boy. To see nothing but his empty shell.
“Good evening Joham,” Aro said the never ending smile on his face. As if nothing was wrong, like it was just another pleasant night. “I see you have brought your whole coven this fine night....and some old acquaintances.”
His eyes looked over at the Romanians.
“Hello Aro, we meet for the first and last time,” Joham said.
Joham then saw Nahuel and his eyes widened a little.
“Nahuel?”
“Hello Joham,” Nahuel said contempt thick in his voice.
“Why are you here?” Joham asked.
“To finally rid the world of your evil and save my brother.”
“Matthew needs no saving.”
“Because you killed him!”
“He is not dead.”
“Just as well,” Nahuel said looking at Matthew with a pained look.
“You do not understand what you are doing my son. Join me and I will over look this and spare you and your aunt. I promise a place for you in the new world that is to come.”
Joham spread his arms in a grand gesture. “Look at how much our family has grown. You have nephews and nieces now, join us.”
“And be your pawn? No thanks.” Nahuel looked at the other hybrids. “Can't you all see he is using you? Joham only cares about his dream. You are all pawns to him.”
The hybrids didn't even flinch.
“And you care so much, seeing how you are the one who brought the Volturi on our doorstep all those years ago,” Joham said, a note of anger in his voice.
“I was asked to witness for the Cullen's. There was a misunderstanding.”
Misunderstanding my ass. They wanted to kill us.
“I told them about us so they would not kill the Cullen child. I asked they leave my sisters alone. You I told them to go ahead and finish.”
“Well they did not listen, many of your sisters died because of your betrayal,” Joham said.
A look of pain crossed Nahuel's face. His aunt placed a comforting hand on her nephew's shoulder.
“Huilen, I am surprised you allowed him to do this,” Joham said.
Huilen glared at Joham. I remembered the story she told all those years ago of Nahuel's conception. It was very clear she had a grudge going on against him for what he did to her sister.
“Nahuel can make his own choices; he fights for a truly noble cause. He gets his goodness from his mother, obviously.”
Ohhh, praise her nephew and jab at Joham. She may be a human eating leech but I like her a little more now.
“Carlisle!” Vladimir called.
Carlisle stepped forward. “Hello Vladimir, Stefan.” he greeted politely.
“It is good to see you again. Although I must say I wish it was under better circumstances. Stefan and I bare you and your coven no ill will. In fact we grew quit found of you, even learned to respect you, despite your odd choice in food.”
“We are here to help retrieve Matthew. He is a part of our family and we wish him well.”
“So you are the leader of the coven of golden eyes?” Joham asked. “I owe you my thanks. You found my son and cared for him, sheltered him. I have no quarrel with you. I ask you please leave; I would hate to have to taint my gratitude by killing you. My world needs men like you, great thinkers and dreamers who can make our world a better place.”
“Is that what you call your world?” Caius sneered. “A world full of aberrations?”
“Come on, let's go,” Fred whispered.
We slowly began to move to the side, coming up behind the hybrids. Renata was one of the guards with us. She preferred to stay by her master’s side, but he told her to go with us. Her power combined with his would help mask our presence.
Heidi was over with the others. Using her power to draw attention away from us. So far, it seemed to be working. All we had to do was get close enough to get to Joham.
Once we were close Fred would let of a wave of revulsion so powerful it would send the hybrids running. Then before he could run I would kill Joham. After that things would get tricky. I still had a choice to make concerning Matthew. Life or death.
Years ago I dreamed my father came to me in a field while I had a picnic with Matthew. For a while I thought it meant my decision to leave La Push to protect Matthew. Now I am wondering if he meant I had to chose whether to kill him or not.
Every instinct in my mind screamed at me to not do this. That it was suicidal.
“I would expect you to think that?” Joham said. “Nothing but an old relic who cannot change, who pathetically clings to the past.”
“You are just a self-important pup who thinks he is more important then what he is. You think you can just change the world? Destroy what we have built and replace it with your own? I think not.”
“Grandfather, something is wrong,” one of the hybrids said.
We froze, fearing he was talking about us.
“My power is not working on them.”
Our bodies slumped in an unspoken sigh. He was referring to Bella's shield is all.
“I see you are protecting the very same coven that tried to kill you Carlisle. May I ask why?” Joham asked.
“The Volturi and my coven have some bad blood. But they are important to keeping the stability of our worlds Joham. My daughter can see the future; she has seen visions of what will happen if you kill them. Without the Volturi the other nomads will go wild. It will be like the wars in the Mexican area only on a global scale. Now only in a few days it will take for humans to realize our existence.”
“So, let them,” Stefan said. “When we ruled we did not hide what we were and the humans knew their place.”
“That was then. Humans have weapons now that should give you pause. Or have you forgotten about Hiroshima?” Aro said.
“A fearsome weapon, but how can a device threaten us? When we can just out run it.”
“If there is one thing humans are good at it is finding ways to kill. They may not have our physical abilities but they make up for it with their science. It is better to hide in the shadows and pull the strings. Humans will never accept us. They persecute themselves, why would we be any different.”
“Obedience can be forced.”
“But my way is better,” Joham said. “It will be slow, but the hybrids are our only answer. No more hiding, no more fights for territory like rabid beasts. They are better than either humans or vampires.”
“Those words are blasphemy!” Caius roared.
“What right gives you the power to order us around?” Joham asked.
“No one gives us the right, we take it.” Caius smiled.
We were right behind the hybrids and moving forward, we had to walk around them, they were to close together for us to move through them.
“Well tonight that right is taken from you. Tonight the Volturi will fall,” Joham said.
“And as retribution for what you did to our castles we will burn your precious city to the ground,” Vladimir said with a grin.
“But before we begin this epic battle for the future of the world...where is Leah?” Joham asked.
No one spoke. We continued to make our way forward. Joham was so close now.
“Leah has returned to her home,” Carlisle said, “she could not bear to see him like this.”
“Funny, I thought she was more dedicated then that.”
Joham was right in front of me, now was my chance! I got ready to spring, I was going to enjoy ripping this mother fucker to pieces! Never before have I wanted someone dead this bad. He has dared to hurt me, my friends, my family and my pup. I will see him dead. I will make him dead!
Joham looked right at me and smiled.
“Hello Leah.”

Fred P.O.V
Leah jumped at Joham and all hell broke loose.
I let loose my wave of revulsion and the hybrids all stepped back, hiss, growling and snarling in disgust.
“I knew you would be here!” Joham yelled. He had his hands on her jaws, keeping her from biting into him. . “Now, he will watch you die screaming!”
He pushed her jaws apart and she howled in pain
I ran forward and punched him right in the face, sending him back. Ten feet.
“That was for Matthew,” I said.
“Don't just stand there, attack!” Caius roared.
The vampires all rushed forward and the hybrids met them head on. “Let's get him Leah,” I said.
She nodded and we went to go for Joham but a wave of fire appeared in front of us, keeping us from reaching him. A woman with dark hair and icy blue eyes appeared with Matthew in hand. It must be Seraphina.
I looked at Matthew, the fire reflected in his eyes, the only thing that was reflected in them. So empty, so dull. Those wonderful brown eyes, once filled with warmth and a madness born of pain and innocence.
But now there is nothing there. Everything that I knew in him was gone, a feeling of despair washed over me.
“Matthew! Make our family strong, show the Volturi the might of the true race!” Joham roared.
Matthew did not move, but the hybrids moved more quick. It was like the blood lust and resolve in them was magnified. The Volturi tried using their power on the hybrids, but their powers had now been magnified, along with their need to kill.
There was one girl who looked like Seraphina. Her entire body burst into flame. For a wild moment I thought she spontaneously combusted. Bud her body did not burn, her cloths turned to ash, but she looked like the human torch. She grabbed one of the guards and before he could react she ripped his head off, the second the venom was exposed to her fire his body erupted in flame.
I saw Vladimir was fighting Alec, Stefan and Caius was going at it. There were so many hybrids, their powers magnified by Matthew's power. It did not matter if they were inexperienced now. Matthew had fused them with Joham's will and made them more powerful.
Alice and Jasper were fighting side by side. She could not see hybrids so she was not so good at fighting now. Jasper would not leave her side. Despite the lack of her power Alice was still quick on her feat. I couldn't tell if she was dancing or fighting.
Joham, Seraphina and Matthew were behind the wall of fire, watching. Waiting.
A hybrid rushed us. I hit him with a wave of revulsion stopping him in his tracks. I grabbed him and tossed him onto the ground.
“I am only going ask you this once. Did Rosemary have any children?” I asked the hybrid.
I pushed some revulsion into him, I knew the urge to run would be so strong, to get away from me he would answer. Being revolting can be useful.
“Yes,” the hybrid spat, looking away from me.
“Who?”
“Peter, Steven and Gregory,” he said.
“What can they do?”
“Peter can trap you inside a mental reality, Steven can make you relive your best or worst memories and Gregory can make you remember everything, every memory you have ever had.”
Leah perked up. I saw a strong glimmer of hope in her eyes.
“Where are they?” I demanded.
“Dead. Peter was killed by one of those giant wolves, Steven was killed by the one with the evil eye and Gregory was killed By the brute with the yellow eyes.”
I growled and threw him into the battle. A small group of guards tore into him, his screams were shrill and fear filled.
I turned to look at Leah. Her eyes were so...defeated.
“Don't worry Leah, we'll find another way,” I said.
Leah looked at me, then to the flame that separated us from Matthew. I saw in her eyes a resolution. A sort of finality. Like she had decided to embrace the end.
“Leah?”
She looked at me and gave me a sad wolfish smile. I did not need to read her mind to know what she was going to do.
She rushed me, headbutting me with her head and sending me flying back. “Leah!” I screamed.
I was attacked by some hybrids, I used my power to make them back off. But before I could stop her Leah lept into the fire, to Joham, Seraphina and Matthew.

Leah P.O.V
Fred said we would figure out a way.
But there was nothing we could do. Our last hope of saving him was dead. The time had come for me to make a choice, so I was going to make it.
But that doesn't mean I was going to drag Fred with me.
I head butted him, sending him as far away as I could. My plan was crazy, impossible. But I had to try, it was my last hope. Before she died Rosemary told me that memories as powerful as Matthew's do not just die, she told me there was still hope. So if there was still a chance I could make him remember, I would just have to do it the old fashioned way.
I jumped through the fire, the smell of burning flesh and hair filled the air, once I passed through the wall I phased back into a human and rolled. I stood in front of them, naked and a bit burned, but they were quickly healing.
“How nice of you to join us Leah, saves me the trouble of hunting you down,” Joham said.
I ignored him and looked at Matthew.
“Matthew, it's me, Leah,” I said.
“Not this again,” Joham said rolling his eyes.
“Remember when we first met?” I asked Matthew ignoring Joham. “I was naked, just like this. You had been chasing Seth around; you were trying to eat him. I did not like you when we first met. You were part vampire and very clingy. Remember how you asked me where my thing was? You told me I should see a doctor. Everyone thought it was funny except me. You called me Lee-Lee. I told you not to because that was Sam's nickname for me.”
“Enough of this dribble!” Seraphina said. She raised a hand, getting ready to smite me.
“Shut the fuck up!” I yelled at her. “This is my last chance to bring him back and you will not ruin it!”
Joham put a hand on her shoulder. “Let her have one final good bye Seraphina.”
I went back to talking to Matthew. Ignoring the battle, ignoring Fred calling my name, I continued.
“You were such a creepy little kid. So innocent and yet so feral. It was so disturbing how easily you could read people, how you stated the obvious, you had such little tact. You latched onto me like a little leech, I was so annoyed by you. Treating me like I was your lifeline. Always rushing to greet me and hugging me like a giant Boa constrictor. I remember when you were going to meet Nahuel for the first time, you were so scared and nervous. I remember how you were so happy when you found out he was your brother. Those were good days weren't they?
“How you wrestled with Emmett, cooked with Esme, ran from Alice when she tried to dress you up. You were like a little Quileute. Running around in shorts with no shirt. The best day we had was that day at the creek. You and Nessie were like little torpedos in the water. Of course there were downsides. Those nightmares you had and that stupid experiment to see if we could help you remember.”
I showed him my arm, the one he scared. “Remember when you gave me this? God you pissed Sam off. He was ready to start a war with the Cullens. You know I should have been pissed at you too; you did try to kill me. But all I could think about was how bad you must be feeling. We got that all patched up and we had our moment. IT was around that time I became more affectionate with you. Then that mess with Emily happened and we ran for it. We found Fred and everything was so wonderful. Remember how I would read you Harry Potter before bed? God you cried so much when I read you the seventh book. You cried so much when Hedwig died, more so then the others. You said she was the most important because Harry could always rely on her. I remember how you used to say you would one day find Hogwarts and learn magic, God you were so cute.
“Our first Christmas was beautiful. We decorated the tree and made cookies and poured a glass of milk for Santa. You said you wanted to eat Rudolph. I made you that blanket with a wolf on it, you got me that necklace made from those pretty rocks. We got Fred a new pair of shoes. He was so surprised we got him something.”
My eyes began to water with tears and they fell down my face.
“I know you remember something Matthew, because before they took you, you showed me how much you loved me, you used your power to show me how happy you were. And I don't care what vampire power was used on you, love like that cannot be washed away. And I just want you to know something Matthew....I love you...I love you so much. You are my precious little boy and I thank God I met you. I was in such a horrible place in my life and you saved me from it all. You showed me there was still good in the world, that there were such beautiful things to live for. You are a beautiful boy Matthew. You are sweet, kind, caring, sensitive, warm, and such a good boy and I love you. And no matter what happens tonight, no matter how this ends I will always love you.”
I summoned every ounce of love I had in my being for him. I thought of all the trials we faced, all the good times, all the laughs and precious memories. Me holding him in my arms. Us hunting deer. Watching Fred teach him math and science. Watching him grow into such a fine young man. I took all that energy, all that love and I focused it on to him.
And I prayed some part of him would remember.
I was a mother and a good mother always shares her love with her child.

Matthew P.O.V
The female speaks.
Anger, blood lust, pain, fear, vengeance, retribution, agony, suffering, surrounds us.
This one stands with Joham and Seraphina.
This one protects Joham like this one was meant.
But the female. She speaks of things this one does not know. Things this one does not understand. Things that do not make sense.
But the female is a hurricane of soft pink. Soft pink.
Soft pink is love, and it is radiating from her like light from a sun. And it is all directed at this one.
Why?
The female is this one's enemy; she seeks the destruction of Joham.
So why is she feeling love for this one?
This one.....this one.....confused......this one....so much.....pink.....much.....love.
Is this love?
Is this being mother’s love?
Mother?
What is...mother?
This one looks at females arm, the one with the scar. This one is feeling....hollow....empty.....remorseful.
That scar....the female....something....familiar....something....important.
But this love, so bright and warm. And all this one's.
This one's eyes are burning now, vision is becoming hazy. Something wet is sliding down face. This one touches wet object. It smells salty and is clear. It looks like female's tears.
Is this one crying? Why? Why does this one feel so happy? Yet so sad, like this one has lost something.
Who is this female?
What power does she hold over this one?
Why do I feel like....i should have soft pink for her too?

Leah P.O.V
I cried happily as he cried. The tears were dripping from his chin.
I looked at Joham with a victorious smile.
“You see that Joham, he is still alive, somewhere in there.”
“Matthew, would you kindly restrain her,” Joham said.
A wave of paralyzing fear hit me then. I was so scared, I could not move. Like when a mouse stays still, hoping the cat will not see it.
Matthew walked over to me and held me from behind. Despite him being the source of my fear, it felt so god damned good to feel the touch of his skin again.
Joham walked up to me, he was going to kill me, I could see it in his eyes.
Should I have killed Matthew? Should I have spared him?
I could never kill him. I could never spend the rest of my days raising a living corpse. A bitter reminder of what I lost.
It would seem Alice's vision would come true.
“The reign of the Volturi ends tonight Leah, your pathetic little speech has done nothing. He is still my son, still my creature.”
He extended his fingers and brought his hand back, getting ready for the killing blow. “Just remember, you failed him Leah, in your last act in this world, despair....and DIE!”
He brought his hand across my chest. We werewolves are much more durable than humans, but our skin is nothing compared to that of a vampires. I could feel his nails and fingers, cold as ice, like the fingers of death ripping through flesh, muscle and bone.
And you want to know something funny?
It didn't even hurt...that is how bad it was.
Blood sprayed him in the face, it matched his eyes. The blood also hit me in the face and I know it hit Matthew as well.
I could hear people screaming now.
Nahuel.
The Cullens.
The Denali coven.
My brothers howling in pain.
Fred.
The world was starting to go dark. I was so scared. Seth and the others, what would happen to them? Would they survive and make it back to La Push?
Mom? What would she do after losing another daughter?
Would the Cullens and Denali coven survive? Would Edward and Bella be able to see Nessie again? Was she doomed to lose her parents and Jake?
Would the Volturi fall this night? Would the world be plunged into a new horrific age?
What of Nahuel? Would Joham kill another child tonight? Would he die knowing his father’s evil would infect the world?
Would Fred lose another loved one? Would he wonder the earth, lost in pain and loss?
What of Matthew? What would Joham do once he no longer needed him?
Was I weak? Was I foolish? Was I naive? Have I condemned these fates to everyone?
Maybe, maybe not.
But even as I died and the world went to hell, I could not help but smile and be thankful.
Thankful that I got to see my boy one more time.
My time had come, I was at peace, ready to die. Ready to stop running, ready to just let go and accept my fate.
But before I go, I have to say one final thing.
“You're a good boy Matthew,” I whispered.
Matthew let me go and I fell to the ground.
I never felt my body hit the ground.

Joham P.O.V
I watched as blood pooled under her body.
Blood covered my face and Matthew's. She was not dead, not yet. But her heart was beating very slowly right now.
I looked at Matthew. He was staring at her. Just....staring. His mouth was slightly open.
Why was he crying? Had something gone wrong? Had Rosemary left something behind?
The battle raged around us. The yellow eyes were trying to make their way to us, as was the wolves. It was time to end this war. Time to build my empire

“It “It is time to finish this. Seraphina, cleanse the world in fire, build my kingdom from the ashes of the old world,” I said.
“Yes father,” she said.
She took Matthew's hand and waved the fire away. We made our way to the fighting. My body was bursting with energy. Everything was falling into place now. With that bitch out of the way I can finally move on.
Adora's shadow will never haunt me again.
“My name is Joham, look upon my work ye mighty and despair!” I said.
For one glorious moment I thought I had won, that my day had come.
But then I heard the most disturbing sound in the world.
A sob, escaping from Matthew's lips.

Matthew P.O.V
This one does as ordered.
This one watches as all color and life leaves the female.
She told this one he was a good boy. Why?
Even in her dying moments the soft pink never left, never changed.
This one feels the blood on his face. Can smell it.
It is not smelling as appetizing as human blood though.
This one follows Joham and Seraphina as we prepare to kill our enemies.
But this one keeps on thinking of the female. This one is feeling...pain....in his chest....this one's heart is hurting.....is it the blood? Is it poisonous.
Why is the female dying hurting this one so? Why? Why does this one want her to not be dead. Why is her being dead hurting this one?
The blood on this one's face wafts into this one's nose. This one feels something nostalgic from this smell, like this one has known this smell.
This one licks the blood from his lips. It tastes better than this one expected. It tastes......familiar....like....love....blood...Cullen...Quileute....wolf.....Leah?
Then it happened. Like a dam breaking, like being crushed by tons and tons of water.
I remembered.

I am seeing the Charlie person is cautious, even a little intimidated by mes, like he is somehow knowing me is being dangerous. He is having very tasty smelling blood. Me is thinking of eating hims, but he is saying he can help me find my daddy so me not eat him.
He is taking me to place now, I am having fun. Me can run faster then metal car cop thing but it fun to ride in them.
I giggle. “Look at us go! Wow.....can you make it scream?” I am asking.
“Scream?” he asks.
“You know...whoooooooooooo.” I imitate sound.
He smiled and turn siren on. Me like that. I mimic the sound, having lots of fun, Charlie is feeling more relaxed with me now. Wow, you are fun. I was going to eat you but I am thinking you be better alive.”
“Eat me? Why would you eat me?” he asked thinking me being joking.
“Because I am getting thirsty silly, you're blood makes the thirst go away. I have been doing it before, before when men take me in their cars or the girls I get thirsty and bite them and they scream and holler then go quiet and cold and dead.”
He is getting scared now. Me not like him scared. Me make him happy and fun and we make siren sounds for rest of drive.

Me jumps up and walks cautiously to nice man. Caution. He not like me getting to close but me need to smell. Me circle him few times. Smelling him deeply. “Are you my daddy?” I ask him.
He gets confused. “No.”
I am disappointed now. Smell so familiar now, I was hoping I had finally found daddy, whoever he is being.
I went to the nice beddy bed to sulk. I am sad now. I was hoping I find daddy. But once again no daddy, just Mr. nice man with nice yellow eyes and yellow hair.
“Tell me young one, what is your name?” he asked.
“Matthew,” I say.
“Matthew, what are you doing in Forks?” he asked.
“Forks? Not Forks silly. Room with bed. I cannot be in forks, that sounds painful. Forks are pointy.”
“No, I mean the area you are in, this town is called Forks,” he said.
“Oh..................................ohhhhhh!” realization hits me then. “I am sorry, I am so embarrassed now.” I got up and his under the bed. “I think I Hide now until me not embarrassed anymores.”
From under bed I see him step forward. Pale yellow now mixed with strong curiosity and worry. This worry different. Each emotion is different, millions and millions of different kinds of emotions, so many flavors that crisis, crosses and interconnects, some finer than the edge of my teeth.
He being worried about me? I wonder why that is?
He bend down to speak with me. His face calm and relaxed. “You don't need to hide.”
“But me embarrassed,” I say.
“Don't be, you just did not know where you are. Where are you from?” he ask.
“Me not know,” I say sadly. “Me remember nothing but the fire.”
“Fire?”
“The pain, the never ending pain. Like my entire body is filled with lava. It hurt so bad.”
I cringe in fear. The memory of the fire hurts. Makes me shiver. He senses me in fear and gives me a nice smile. “It is okay, you are safe now. You asked if I was you're father, why did you ask that? Do you not know him?”
“I do not remember. The fire is all me remember.”
“What is the last thing you remember?”
“Waking up alone in the woods....all alone, afraid. Wondering by myself searching for daddy.”
“How do you know you have a father if you do not remember him?”
“I not know. I just know I have a father and I must find him, it is important. He is my daddy, he will love me and protect me and keep me safe. I track his smell, there be others like you, only they have red eyes and they really mean to me. But I always scare them off. I make them so scared they scream and shout and run like scaredy cats.”
“Wow, that is really special. Matthew, I know what you are. But the thing is no one else is supposed to know. See if they know what you are then they could figure out what I am and if that happens, bad things will happen. I want to take you to my house where I live with my family. We will look after you; we will try and help you find more about you.”
Me like the sound of that.

Me look at female wolfie in amazement.
She is so pretty. Me make her calm so she not angry and hurt. Me also stare because me see her naked. Me finally see boobies.
“Me never see girl naked before.....where is your thing?” I ask.
She had nothing between her legs. Me is wondering why not? Maybe she born different. Maybe she is being hurt.
A wave of horrified embarrassment and annoyance washes over her and she quickly covers herself up.
Her and boy wolfie talk now. Me keep staring at her. Her colors. She is so angry, bitter, sad and....lonely.
Matthew is knowing what that like. He is being lonely too. Maybe we can be friends and not be lonely. Maybe we being best friends. Matthew like that. Something in Matthew feels drawn to her.
Something in Matthew feels like he knows her from somewhere.

“Neh, neh, Em-Em can't catch me!” I yell as me run from Em-Em.
We be hunting for food. We find bears, Em-Em like Bears. He make fun of me and Nessie for being to small to fight the big scary bears. Me decide to play a trick on hims.
Me make him scared of bear. We are all laughing as he climbs up a tree to get away from bear. To bad he forgot bears climb trees.
We all laugh so hard. When me stop making him afraid he is realizing what me do and he chases after me's.
“Just you wait shortie!” Em-em says as we run.

Me and Ness-Ness are in the creek now.
We are swimming, racing one another, seeing who can catch the most fish. Me cheat, me use power.
Me having so much fun! Cullens, big brother Nahuel and his nice aunt, Leah and her friends are here, too. Me is seeing dark pink shining between Leah and big brother Nahuel. How nice would it be if they mates? Then we can be a real big happy family.
Em-Em jumps in creek, making big tidal wave. Me and Ness-Ness giggle as we splashed with water and we splash him.

Me is hating self now.
Me hurt Leah! How can me hurt Leah!
Me not mean too. Me remember pain and me lash out, trying to make it stop. Me taste blood and me is seeing me hurt Leah. She start twitching and me watch as her aura fade.
Wolves get mad then, they turn wolfie and things get tense. Me not care, me to worried about Leah though.
Good thing big brother Nahuel there, he suck out venom and save Leah.
Me so ashamed of Matthew. Es-Es and Car-Car try and tell me it not my fault, but it is. Leah is going to hate me so much when she wakes up. Me not want her to hate me.

“Merry Christma,s Leah!” I say handing her, her gift.
She opens it and me happy to see how pleased she is being by rock necklace I am making.
“Matthew is looking for rocks to make you pretty necklace. You like?” I asked.
“Yes, I do, thank you Matthew.”
She hugs Matthew and Matthew hugs back.
Matthew is liking Christmas.
Fred-Fred was trying on the shoes me and Leah got him. He was surprised we got him something. A little ashamed too, all he got us was a card.
We like card though. Leah says Christmas is not about gifts, it is about family and happiness. Me is both having family and happiness now.

I stare at the face of my world.
She looks so beautiful and peaceful. But her light is fading.
Why do they not help her? Why does Joham not save her. She love him, why he not help her?
Someone save my world, my Adora, my mommy!

Leah is asleep now.
Me is having bad dream and Leah let me sleep with her again.
Me like sleeping with her, she so warm and makes me feel so safe. Me knows she protect me and keep me safe forever. Me love her lots. Me never let anything happen to her.

A sob escaped my lips
I remembered everything.
All the true memories of my life and the false one Rosemary made.
I was the Matthew who was the loyal son, I was the Matthew who was the lost boy, I was the Matthew who was a drone.
All the different Matthew's who ever existed have merged to become a new Matthew. A broken Matthew, a shattered Matthew.
I stopped walking, Seraphina and Joham stopped as well. They looked at me confused, but I do not care. A cold feeling gripped my heart.
“Leah?” I whispered, tears fell down my face like a river.
“Matthew? What is wrong?” Joham asked.
I ignored him.
I turned around and saw Leah, on the ground, blood pooling around her body, the same blood that reawakened me. And her light....was just about gone.
The horror, the wicked truth, the realization of what my life was and had come to was all before me with her.
So many people died for me. My mother, Rosemary who sacrificed herself in vain to do good by me and now I was about to lose one of the most important people in my life.
“LEEEEAAAAHHHHHH!” someone screamed with much horror and loss.
I would later realize it had been me who screamed.

Fusedtwilight: That's right everyone Leah is dead! Some visions come true. Matthew remembers everything, but with Leah gone what is the point of remembering? Next chapter Matthew is full of rage and directs it all at Joham. With Leah dead who will be able to stop Matthew's rampage. And Leah may be gone but her story isn't over and creepy shadow guy makes a return.
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Focused Madness