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Focused Madness	By : fusedtwilight Category: Twilight Series > General Views: 3772 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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Chapter List
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Focused Madness
Chapter 33

Fusedtwilight: Thanks to my beta animegirlkiki for betaing. Thanks to everyone who reviewed.
Well the time has come for Focused Madness to end. It seems like only yesterday I began to type this on my computer. It has been a long and emotional journey. One I am glad to have shared with all of you.
Although it is a rather short chapter to be the last, I think it will leave you all pleased.
Choice: The act of choosing, the power of choosing, a care in selecting.
Example: Matthew's choice at the crossroads will affect his life.
Matthew P.O.V
The wagon stopped and I got off.
"Are you sure you will not come with us? You will be most welcome," Roman said.
"Yes, come with us Matthew!" his youngest son said. A boy of seven.
I smiled and shook my head. "Thank you all. But I need to head off now," I said.
Roman and his family looked surprised. They were a group of nomadic Gypsies that had found and cared for me. I was lucky some of them spoke English, even if it was with a heavy accent.
"Come with us, you are too young to be all alone," Roman's wife, a heavy set woman in her fifties pleaded.
"Thank you, but this is where we must part. Thank you all so much for your hospitality," I said.
Roman reached out with his hand and I shook it. "Before we go we have something for you."
His eldest son handed me a bag. I looked inside and found clothing, some bread and even money. "Roman I can't take the money," I said.
He shook his head. "We do not need it. Please, take it. It will make us feel better about leaving you here alone."
They were all nervous; I could see they did not want to leave without me.
I would need the money and the clothes. Deciding to take necessity over politeness I took the bag. "Thank you Roman, for everything," I said.
"Take care, Matthew. I hope you find what you are looking for."
"Me too."
I looked over to Roman's mother. An old woman in her eighties but was still sharp and youthful. We shared a look and nodded to one another. She was not too worried for me, she knew what I was and that I could take care of myself. She gave me a toothy smile and I smiled back.
Roman slapped the horses with the reins and the wagon began to move forward. Everyone waved at me, saying farewell. I waved back. I would miss them. I have been with them for over a week. They are nice people.
Roman's daughter blew me a kiss and I blushed. She had been taken with me, but I did not return her affection.
I waited until the wagon was a tiny spot in the distance before I looked around. I was at a crossroads. Literally. I was in a vast field that broke off into four paths. Which was fitting seeing how I had a big choice to make.
I took a moment to reflect on how I got here. I should have died, but fate had other ideas for me.

I fell into the chasm.
I was so afraid. Leah was so filled with horror at what was happening. They all were. But this was for the best. Leah would not leave me to die and I would not let her die for me. Not again.
I felt the fire lone before I landed. I felt like I was in hell. I hit the ground hard and blacked out; when I came too I was burning. I tried to stand up but the flame was everywhere, every part of my body burned.
I heard the sound of something massive falling; I looked up and saw a massive boulder falling. Ignoring the pain I ran through the fire, when it landed I fell to the ground from the shock of the impact. A chunk of rock broke from it and hit me in the back.
I fell to the ground; every part of my body was in pain right now. I felt like I was being tortured by that little brunette from the Volturi again.
The fire was still burning me. It was everywhere. Hybrids were more durable than humans so it was taking longer for me to burn.
I never gave much thought to how I would die, but I kind of hoped it would be quick and painless.
Something picked me up and began to carry me. I could sense his pain; I already knew who it was before I passed out.
When I woke up I was burning bad. I could hear fire, but not the inferno. I could hear rumbling in the sky like thunder. I looked up and saw in the distance fire falling from the sky.
"You are awake?" a voice asked.
He stood, back turned. Watching the fire, his hands clasped behind his back.
"Joham," I said.
"Matthew," he said.
I was confused. I sensed no murderous intent from him, only defeat and resignation.
"Why didn't you let me burn?" I asked.
He was quiet for a while. "Perhaps I didn't want to lose another child."
I said nothing. It hurt to move, I could fight him off with my power if need be.
"Why did you kill them Matthew? They were your family," Joham said.
I ignored him.
"Nothing to say? Very well then, let's finish this."
He turned around and I gasped. His face was misshapen and missing whole chunks.
"As you can see, although I survived Seraphina's blast, I did not come out unscathed."
"You look ugly," I said.
"Rather rude don't you think?"
"You think I care about your feelings right now?" I asked.
"I liked you better when you were insane, you had manners at least."
"So what now?" I asked. "You start again? Go off and breed a new army and try again?"
"Don't be foolish Matthew, what female in their right mind would come near me when I am like this?" he asked.
He had a point, before he could have any woman he wanted. Now, they would run screaming.
"The dream is over, I came so close. But it is pointless to try and start again. I no longer have the heart. Now we must end this."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean now you must kill me?"
I looked at him in shock.
"The fire will spread here soon. All you need to do it rip me apart and let the fire do the rest."
"You seriously want me to kill you?"
"Why not? You killed the others."
"That was different," I said defensively.
"How? You were in a blind rage?"
"Yes, alright! I was so mad I wanted them all dead!" I growled.
"But now that you are calm you are feeling guilty? And you thought I did you a disservice when I stripped you of your memories and emotions. Tell me, how does it feel to be a murder? To kill your own family?"
A streak of sadistic pleasure streaked across his aura. Enjoying the guilt and pain I felt for killing the others.
"Well, you wanted me to be remorseless so why are you complaining?" I asked.
He chuckled. "That's right Matthew. Hide from the guilt; I am sure your morals will keep you sane enough to accept what you have done."
"Before I finish you off, I have one last question...the darkness. What is it?"
"You remember when Morphia told us about it?"
"I met it in my dreams," I said.
He had a thoughtful look on his face. "I have no idea. In all my life I have never encountered anything like it. Maybe it is an evil spirit, or maybe a demon from hell. I don't know. But if I were you I would try and keep a low profile. Who knows where this thing is, if it even exists in our world."
"Believe me, I won't go within a hundred miles of it," I said.
"I hope you do Matthew. Before I meet our family, what will you do with your life?" he asked.
"Why do you care?"
"Despite what I have done, I do love you Matthew. Maybe not how you define love, but I still care to know."
"I don't know...I can't go back to America...I...I am not right."
"You are what you are Matthew. You have great power, do not be afraid to use it to get what you want."
I said nothing; let him say what he wants. He has the right.
"I have no regrets...well, maybe that so many had to die. But I stand by my beliefs Matthew. Never let anyone sway you from your path. Walk this world like a god, for that is what you are. A god, even amongst out kind."
I got up and shakily walked up to him.
"Is that all?" I asked.
"Yes, good luck Matthew let no one stand in your way."
"...Goodbye father."
I grabbed his face and bit into his neck. I focused all my madness and rage into killing him and I must admit I did take some pleasure in tearing him apart. The fire was quickly spreading; I tossed his bits and pieces into it.
A part of me screamed in horror at what I had done, another part screamed in savage triumph.
When the human planes began to fly above I ran into the woods. My body protested but I had to get away.
By the time I stopped running I was so tired, I was barely walking. The world was starting to swirl around me. I had to stop.
Then I heard the sound of a beating heart, I sensed something up ahead. I found a deer and before I knew it I had its neck in my mouth and sucked it of all the blood it had. I was in predator mode, my body needed to heal and the blood helped give me strength to keep on going.
I continued to stumble through the woods, refusing to give in. I had to keep on pushing forward, I had to. I had to return to Leah, I knew she would be sad, so sad.
The sun was starting to rise. I could hear many heart beats up ahead, I could smell humans. The idea of all that blood waiting to be taken made my mouth water.
I could see a wagon and people up ahead. There were children playing, some adults were talking. Who should I go for? The adults or the children?
I was so hungry, yet so tired.
I broke through the trees, the second the children saw me and they ran for the adults. They huddled behind them, looking at me with terrified eyes.
The adults looked at me with wide shocked eyes. I imagine I still look a bit burned from the fire. I stopped and stared at them and they stared at me. I was so hungry, I could kill them all. There blood would make me so much stronger.
Caution and a small tinge of fear was in their aura.
"Ma ma, is he going to hurt us?" one little boy asked his mother.
Something in me rose up. Something kinder, gentler, more human.
"Help me," I whispered.
I fell on the ground, giving into exhaustion. The ground felt so soft and comfortable. I could feel movement around me. Someone turned me over and I saw a man hovering over me.
"Hold on, we will help you!" he said. "Quick get the medicines, he has been badly burned!"
I don't know what happened after that, I gave into the sleep my body so needed. My last thought was of my Leah and I hoped she was safe.

I stayed with Roman and his clan since then.
They gave me food and cream that helped the burns. Roman's mother, an old woman with white hair and wise eyes watched over me most of the time.
She knew what I was. The Gypsies have plenty of stories about vampires, even about hybrids like me. The others were amazed at how quickly I healed the burns. They thought it was the cream, but Roman's mother knew the real reason why.
She told me she knew what I was; she said as long as I did nothing to harm her family she would not say anything.
She fed me blood at night. When people were asleep she would come into my tent and feed me goat blood or pig blood. While I fed she would sing me songs of her people.
I asked her why she would care for me if she knew what I was and she told me she was good at reading people. She could tell I had a kind heart and an old soul.
She was special, I could sense it. If she was turned into a vampire I was positive she would have a gift of some kind. Her blood smelled good too, Joham told me that humans who have strong blood usually turn out to be gifted. I wondered how her gift would grow with the vampire venom.
I asked her what she meant by old soul.
"You have seen horrible things and have done horrible things child. I can see it in your eyes. You have known such pain and sorrow; it clings to you like a perfume."
I asked her if she knew I did horrible things then why help me?
"You feel regret, you feel guilt for what you did. It eats you from the inside. Anyone who feels such shame deserves some help."
She helped me keep my secret. She fueled the others belief it was their medicines that helped me recover so quickly. They all listened to her. She was the matriarch and the wise woman. She had the respect of her family.
When I was well enough I helped out around the camp. Putting the tents up and putting them away, helping them hunt for food and fish. We did not stay in one place for too long, sometimes we would go to towns and villages and do odd jobs to earn money or to trade furs and other things.
The children were home schooled. Their mother was from another clan of Gypsies, only she had gone to an actual school and passed on everything she knew to her children. I helped too. Fred had taught me all the things he learned in school and college and I was able to teach them what he taught me.
Roman helped teach me Italian while I stayed with them, thanks to my vampire genes I was able to remember and process information better then a human could. Three days after my lessons I was a pro. He even taught me Romani, the language of the gypsies. Two languages in one week, I was kicking some ass.
Although I enjoyed the company of the family, they did not know it but they helped me keep the anger and guilt back. Seeing them so together and close knit. It made me remember the Cullens and the Denali coven.
Sometimes I would think of Joham and the others. They may have been his sheep, but they were also a family. They felt pain when one of their numbers died; they felt protective of one another. They were family in some ways.
I missed them. When we played and laughed. Sure there were parts I didn't miss. But had I been more merciful...more sensible I could have given them a better life. Instead I chose to kill them. I gave into my dark impulses and killed them all. My sisters as well.
Kin slaying was believed to be one of the blackest sins. All I had left now was Nahuel, Leah, Fred and the Cullens.
So shouldn't I go to them?
I stood at the crossroads. Left, right, up, down, what path do I take? Where do I go from here? Forks? Priddis? Romania?
As much as I wanted to return to her, I was not the same Matthew Leah had once known. I remembered everything now. The real memories and the fake. I had done something that shattered any innocence I had left and once innocence is lost it can never be regained.
I had some demons I had to deal with before I was ready to see her again. Plus the last time I was in Washington I caused some trouble and I do not think they will be quick to roll out the welcome mat.
Once again I am alone. No Joham, no Leah. No one to tell me what to do. No one to give me purpose.
I took my bag and walked to the center of the roads. Despite the loneliness I feel I also feel a sense of freedom. For the first time in my life my life is my own, I am bound by no one and nothing. I can do as I wish, go where I wish.
Such a bittersweet victory.
The only question is what do I do now?
I look up into the sky and watch the clouds. Should I be a cloud and go where the wind blows me? Surely eventually it would lead me to her again.
Leah, thank you for everything you have done for me. All the sacrifices and pain. I promise I will be worthy of it all. I love you so much Leah, and I know we will meet soon. I just need to figure some things out first.
And Leah, no matter where I am, no matter what I happens I want you to know one thing.
"Leah, I miss you," I whisper.

The Shadow P.O.V
I wait in the dark, hungry, alone.
I wait in exile, imprisonment.
So thirsty, so many lives out there, I can sense them.
So many lives for me to take, so much light to extinguish.
I have waited so long, suffered here in my prison.
The world has left me behind, forgotten me, but I have not forgotten the world.
I still haunt them, as I did when they young and cowered by their fires with their stone spears.
I haunt them in their dreams, I whisper in their ears.
I make them fear the dark.
But soon I will be free, that fool Joham handed me the keys and he never knew it.
The world has forgotten me, but I will make it remember.
The child will help me, with him I will make everything the way it was, the way it should be.
My emptiness will spread all over the world.
Lovers will savage their darlings.
Mothers will smother their children.
Cities will burn; the world will be soaked in blood.
I will use him to erode the pillars of society and return the world to an age of stone and bone.
A time when they knew of me and they trembled at the idea of me.
But for now I wait.
Soon I will be free and the hybrid will become just another scream in the chorus of my victims.

Fusedtwilight: And that is all. Matthew is actually alive and alone once again. And to answer the most important question many of you are wondering, yes there will be a sequel.
Focused Madness began like all stories do, with an idea. I thought of Leah and how she could have no children of her own. I thought, what if she had to care for a child? Then I thought why would she need to care for the child? Then I thought of ways to make the relationship unusual and special.
I thought what if the child came with great responsibility? I thought of ways to make the child special and interesting. Thus Matthew was born. Writing him has been fun, his power gives him a better understanding of people and the world, yet he is such a tragic figure.
His whole life he was manipulated by his father and he never knew the true love of a family, until he met Leah. The Volturi's attack on Joham was a blessing, because if they hadn't Matthew would have never met Leah and I fear he would have become another monster child of Joham's.
Writing Leah as a mother was tricky. I didn't want her to instantly feel a bond with Matthew, in fact when first meeting him she is ready to kill him, but over time she develops a bond with him that helps her break free and discover who she really is.
And, as for Fred. Fred didn't exist in the beginning of the story. Had it not been for The short second life of Bree Tanner there would be no Fred. After reading that book I knew I had to use Fred in one of my stories and I am pleased how well his presence made things.
And the shadow man? Who is he? What is he? I already know who and what he is and the planes he has for the world. But those questions will be answered in the sequel, because Matthew and Leah's journey is far from over and they have one last hurdle to over come.
The main theme of Focused Madness is the importance of family. Whether it is blood or not family can be a powerful force. Joham did not treat his children or grandchildren as he should have. He taught them to be cold and unforgiving. But it was Leah's bond of love with Matthew that crushed Joham's family, because he underestimated the power of a mothers love for her child. But at the same time sometimes we must take a stand against our family.
Leah had to stand up against her wolf brothers to save Matthew, and Matthew had to stand up to Joham in order to find his voice and take control of his own life.
Thank you to everyone for reading this story. I hate to make you wait for Leah and Matthew's reunion. I know I am eagerly waiting to write it. Until next time then.
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