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Baser Urges	By : PersephoneCorelli Category: Anita Blake > Het Views: 4613 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Anita Blake series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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We armed ourselves as best we could and yet it didn’t feel like we were carrying any weapons. It’s amazing how you can be armed to the teeth and still be frightened of your own shadow. We sat in the car, riding in silence. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Who is Van Cleef? How do you know him so well?”
Edward stares out of the windshield and I begin to think he won’t answer.
“He’s my Grandfather. My father married my mother at a young age. Van Cleef was secretly grooming him to be an assassin. Mother was pregnant with me before she ever found out. She begged him to stop and he went to Van Cleef. He apparently thought that if he just explained the situation to him, he would understand and let him live his life. He was very wrong. I was five years old when I met my grandfather. My parents never spoke about him and whenever I asked about other relatives they would change the subject. I came home from school and found them sitting at the kitchen table with an older man. Even at that young age I could feel the tension surrounding them.”
He paused as if the memory pained him. I sat there stunned. I mean I knew Edward had parents but to see such blatant emotion? It choked me up.
“As I walked into the house my mother smiled at me and pulled me into a hug. She introduced the man as my grandfather. I was confused for a moment and then turned my attention to the man. I instinctively didn’t trust him and wiggled away from my mom to leave the room. I remember hearing her call my name as I ran up the stairs. Not two minutes later I heard a couple of sharp noises and went down to investigate. I walked into the kitchen to see Van Cleef killing my parents. I started crying and throwing things at him. I ran all around the house to avoid him. I circled back to the kitchen and pulled my mother’s head into my lap. She was still alive. She whispered in my ear that she and my father loved me very much and then Van Cleef found us. He shot her again and pulled me out from under her dead body. I kicked and clawed at him but there’s only so much a little boy can do. He brought me to a ‘school’ he had founded that trains recruits to be assassins. He made me who I am. He broke me piece by piece. Breaking down every emotion by, putting me through the most rigorous training at the youngest age ever. It made me the best. I have never forgiven him for what he had done to me or my family. But, I couldn’t kill him. As bad as it all was, he is my only surviving family. It’s amazing how much you will hold onto any ties. I’ve always known that I could never really leave Van Cleef and live. Hell I’m surprised he’s waited this long. I doubt it but maybe he’s gotten soft in his old age. He’s 73, but don’t think that means anything. He is more deadly than anything you have ever faced and he knows your weaknesses.”
He finally stopped again. The way the words rushed out of his mouth you’d think he was afraid to stop talking or he would never speak again. I feel a sharp pang in my chest at his story.
‘Poor Edward! How lonely and sad he must’ve felt seeing his family die that way.’
I brush my hand over his arm in silent comfort. He tenses and then relaxes into my touch.
“I’ve never told anyone about that. Hell, I barely even allow myself to think about it.”
I run my hand up his arm and through his hair. He leans into my touch and pulls the car over. I jerk at the sudden movement of the car. He parks the car but leaves it running. Unbuckling himself he turns and meets my eyes.
“I need to tell you something, Anita. I don’t want you to interrupt. I just want you to listen… to fully understand what I am saying.”
At my nod, he cups my cheek and continues.
“I love you! I am completely and impossibly in love with you. Everything we’ve been through I always did my best to tell you the truth. I meant it that day in Albuquerque when I said that I never had a romantic thought about you. For some reason, when I saw you lying in that hospital bed, it scared me. I’d never been scared before. I couldn’t believe the emotion running through me so I stayed away. When I found out about your mystical ‘disease’, I was furious. The thought of all those men getting to have what I wanted…”
He pauses and I watch his nose flare with the anger he felt. I’m not sure but I think I’m in shock. He steadies himself and goes on.
“It made me want to wipe them all out. I knew you’d never forgive me and that was the only thing that saved them. I couldn’t bear the thought of you never speaking to me again. It was one thing for me to exile myself from you but I couldn’t handle the thought that you wanted me gone. Some sociopath huh? Death falling for the Executioner, it was like a bad dime store novel.”
He gives a self-deprecating laugh.
“I never really thought you would feel the same. I’m not even sure you do. I just didn’t want to die without telling you how I feel.”
I capture his mouth in an impassioned kiss. I feel tears burn my eyes and blink them away. I will not cry, especially not before I say my piece. I pull away gently and meet his eyes.
“Edward, in all honesty I had never really thought of you as anything but a friend, a unique friend, but friend. You were always there when I needed you and in an odd way, never let me down. I could always count on you. Something I’ve never been able to do with any of the boys in St. Louis. Unless they’re going to argue with me, that I can always be ready for, in spades.”
I pause and give him a tremulous smile.
“When you suggested being my food, I was more shocked by my body’s reaction to you than your willingness to be fed off of. I had never considered you that way. I mean after New Mexico I would catch myself wondering about the whole ‘Soul Mates’ speech but, that wasn’t anything more than an overactive imagination. Yet being on this trip with you, even though we are in less than perfect situations, I can not help how I feel.”
Edward turns his head away and I pull him back to look at me.
“I love you. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. If we live through this I want to try and make something out of these feelings. I want to give us a try. Can we do that?”
He looks at me for a moment before nodding.
“We’ll talk after.”
Pulling back out onto the road we made our way to the meeting point. I didn’t know what was going to happen tonight but if we lived… Edward was mine and damn the consequences.
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