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No Easy Way	By : secretlysecretly Category: M through R > The Phantom of the Opera > Het Views: 7568 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Phantom of the Opera, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Chapter 34

Hours had gone by since Raoul had left, Marianne staying by Erik’s side to care for him. The sun had set long ago, giving way to the full moon that shone in the sky. Mesmerized by the tranquillity of the night, Marianne had sat by the open window looking out into the night, all the while reliving the day’s events. The wounded man had been stirring in his sleep, crying out her name every once in a while, stabbing her heart with jolts of pain that wouldn’t subside.

Vincent had tried to convince her to retire for some time in order to regain her strength but she had dismissed his suggestions unable to leave the man she loved all alone when she knew he needed her. She just couldn’t bring herself to remove herself from his side, knowing these would be the last moments she would be spending in his presence.

Her conversation with Raoul had shaken her to her core. Never in her life had she imagined she would speak with such venom to her cousin whom she so dearly loved. She knew she had been cruel with her irony towards him but just couldn’t help herself from speaking the awful truth as she saw it. Christine had destroyed Erik’s life once and had instigated a chain reaction by coming into his life again; a chain reaction which had effectively separated Marianne from the only man she’d ever loved. She was devastated but she knew she had to carry on.

She would have to hurt Erik to keep him out of harm’s way. She knew Olivier well-enough to be certain he would make good on his threats and have Erik arrested, or even worse, if she didn’t follow his orders and drive Erik away. She sighed, trying to collect the courage for the heinous deed but, looking upon Erik’s sleeping form as he fought for his life, her strength vanished and she was once again reduced to a desperate figure that started weeping helplessly for her lover’s fate.

She crumbled to the floor in a heap next to Erik’s bed and took his hand in hers, touching her trembling lips to his chilly flesh. The heat which used to emanate from his skin had now been replaced by an odd coldness since he had been struck by Raoul’s sword that morning. Trying to bring back some warmth to his hand, she rubbed the flesh and held it in her hands, kissing the calloused fingers tenderly.

“Marianne…” the hoarse whisper reached her ears and Marianne felt her breath hitch in her throat. “No… you don’t mean… NO!... please Marianne… you said you love… I can’t… please… please Marianne…”

As she heard his delirium, obviously brought on by the high fever he was suffering, Marianne felt as if her heart were being ripped from her chest. She held on to his hand tightly and leaned in to whisper in his ear “I’m here my love. I will never leave you. Please don’t do this to yourself.”

“Why?...” he exhaled on a breath before he fell quiet again, leaving Marianne to cry in vain as she contemplated how much her love had actually hurt this broken man. The minutes drifted into hours and Marianne, after administering some laudanum to him, knelt by Erik’s side clutching onto his hand and drifted into sleep, exhausted by the day’s events.

She woke up hours later, to find a hand gripping her wrist tightly. Her eyes drifted open only to realize the room was still dark. Confused, she raised her head and found herself staring right into the green eyes of Erik Destler whose ice-cold gaze was boring into hers.

“Why are you here?” he demanded from her, his eyes two pools of fire in the darkness of the room.

Shaken by the indignant tone of his voice, Marianne tried to pull away from him but Erik, expecting her retreat, snatched her wrist in his palm and held her to him in a painful grip. “Answer me!” he snapped, forcing her to meet his eyes with hers.

“Erik, you are hurting me!” she tried to appeal to his good sense, unable to believe that this man who was regarding her in such a loathsome manner was her Erik; the man she had shared so many moments of unbridled passion with, the man she knew cherished her like a treasure. She knew she had hurt him the day before, when she had announced to him their affair was over and was willing to be the object of his contempt if it meant she would see him out of harm’s way.

As soon as the words left her mouth, Erik let go of the iron grip he had on her. His eyes clouded over at the thought that he was causing her any pain. He was disgusted at himself for the unthinking action and still perplexed as to why she was caring for him so openly after the callous way she had ended their relationship the other day. He shook his head dejectedly, feeling a pang of searing pain claim him at the movement. His brow furrowed and he turned his head away, unable to gaze into the eyes he loved so any longer. He needed to think, he needed to put some distance between him and this new situation that had arisen. Most of all he needed to understand.

He had truly thought Marianne shared his own feelings, hopes and dreams regarding a life by his side for the rest of their days. Yet, they had spent less than a month of bliss in each-others’ arms and he had managed to find himself heartbroken and utterly alone once more. He knew he should feel hatred growing within him. He knew he would be justified to turn against the woman who, but two days ago, was professing her undying love to him only to snatch that love away from his grasp, explaining to him he would never be good enough to stand by her side in holy matrimony.

He turned back to Marianne who was staring at him with eyes wide like saucers in light of his violent outburst and wanted to scream. He wanted to shake that terrified look off her face once and for all.

Why should she be afraid of him? She had captured his heart, given him false hope, offered herself to him body and soul, only to snatch it all away in one cruel moment. Why would she toy with his emotions like this? The Marianne he knew was kind-hearted, romantic, outspoken, sympathetic to the grief of those around her. Even if her regard for him was only of the physical sense, he couldn’t fathom her ever being so selfish as to profess her love for him, leading him on under false pretenses. She couldn’t possibly be so cruel. He knew there had to be something more than met the eye in this paradox situation but he just couldn’t see it. He had to make one last effort. He had to make her open up to him, tell him what was wrong.

“Why Marianne? Why are you doing this?” was all he could muster as he gazed into her forlorn eyes.

“Erik please don’t ….” was her sole reply as she turned her back to him walking to the window, her eyes searching the dark sky for answers she would never find.

“I know you care for me Marianne. You would not be here otherwise!” He tried to turn to her, moaning in distress when he felt a searing pain go through his shoulder where Raoul’s blade had penetrated his flesh.

At his cry she turned from her spot by the window, running to him frantically. “Erik, please don’t stress yourself! The doctor ordered for you to take your medicine and refrain from tiring yourself.” She checked on his wound, making sure the bandages over his trauma were safely in place, fussing over his muscular form. Her eyes glazed with unshed tears, as she allowed herself to think for a moment back to the last time she was leaning over him much like this. She covered his torso with the blanket, looking away as she readied herself to put some distance between them once more.

She was not prepared for the feel of his hand closing around her wrist again, this time though his touch was gentle, mellow even as he merely held onto her, looking at her with a dejected expression in his light loving eyes.

“Please Marianne, tell me the truth. Tell me why you are so determined to stay away from me all of a sudden. Does it have to do with your cousin? Has he requested from you that we put an end to our relationship? I know that if we talk to him, if we make him see how much we love each-other…” his voice trailed off as he gazed into her eyes. He could see his words had an effect on her. She had visibly relaxed in his arms as she regarded him with a pained look clouding her eyes.

“Erik, I…” she started, not knowing what she wanted to say to him. She knew that it wasn’t a possibility for her to reveal all that had transpired between her and Olivier Dervaux. She knew she would have to remain strong for Erik’s sake, as well as her own. There were times she could swear it would pain her more to see Erik hurt in any way than to abandon her fate in the hands of Olivier, knowing he would spend the rest of his life punishing her for even thinking of pursuing a love affair with Erik Destler. In the Baron’s eyes Erik was a monster. In her own, the only monster in this bizarre situation as it had formed between them was the Baron himself. Erik might have lived his whole life in darkness, pursued for his inability to reveal his face to those around him fearing their scorn, committing murder, theft and extortion in light of his need for affection. However, she knew that he had done it all to win Christine’s favor. He had been blinded by his infatuation for the young Primadonna, allowing himself to be caught in a maelstrom of emotions that led to his own demise and to the death of so many innocent souls.

She felt a chill run through her spine as she thought about Olivier Dervaux, the way he had conducted himself when he had presumed she had feelings for her neighbor. For all the years she had known Olivier, she never would have expected him to have the capacity for such cruelty against her. She needed to end this relationship right now. Otherwise, she knew Erik would be done for.

“What is it my love? Talk to me. Tell me what is wrong…” he whispered against her skin as he brought her hand to his mouth, kissing her fingers reverently one by one.

“Erik please, stop this. I told you this cannot lead anywhere. I am betrothed to Olivier Dervaux, I have agreed to be his wife and I will not go back on my word to him.” she said matter-of-factly, slowly disentangling herself from his grasp.

“What is he to you Marianne? What is the Baron to you that you would keep your word to him but could care less for your promise to me? Are you so blinded by his title? Is it so important to you that he is a man of blue blood? Will his nobility help to keep you warm at night when you will be lying by his side, dreaming of my body against your’s?” he demanded cruelly.

“Stop it! I wish to hear no more of this!” she cried, unable to contain her composure any longer.

“Do you really expect me to stop when you haven’t given me a reason for acting so odd? I have asked you time and again but you still deny to give me a satisfactory explanation. Why are you determined to end our relationship Marianne? What has he got to offer that I can’t? Money? A handsome face? Noble descendants?”

“Please Erik. Don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to us. Can’t you keep with you only the magical moments we shared together?” she begged him.

“Frankly my dear no. I cannot do that. You see, I know you have feelings for me. I know you would never set foot in this house otherwise, no matter how hurt or close to death I found myself. You love me Marianne. I know you meant it when you professed your love for me. I know I am not worthy of your love but I will not let you make us both miserable by denying the happiness we find in each-other.”

For a few moments the words lingered between them, neither saying anything as Erik stared into her eyes, silently daring her to deny his words and Marianne met his gaze with her own, contemplating on what the best course of action would be. For a moment she foolishly allowed hope to flicker in her heart, thinking to herself that if she told him the truth about Olivier’s demands of her, at least he would understand and not hate her, knowing how much her rejection had to hurt him.

Chastising herself, she met his eyes with an icy stare and spoke with as much conviction as she could muster. “Actually Erik, it is getting quite bore some to hear you speak in such a manner. I have told you time and again that I have no feelings for you; at least not of the type you presume. Yes, I professed my love to you but found that it was a rather fickle sentiment, born out of the passion you woke in me. I admit you gave me pleasure Erik but that was the end of it. We gave and received pleasure from each other, why can’t we just leave it at that?”

Her words seemed to have the desired effect on him. The color drained from his face and he regarded her with venom, his lips set in a thin line that for a second frightened her. She never would have imagined she would be the recipient of such hatred from her Erik but knew she would have to withstand it in order to see him out of harm’s way once and for all.

“Just explain one thing to me Mademoiselle de Duchess and I shall leave you to your devices gladly. Why did you lead me to believe you would be my wife? What made you change your mind with regards to the identity of your future husband? Was it the Baron’s vast fortune or his title?”

She regarded him with a forlorn look in her eyes, silently begging him not to press the matter any further, but was distressed to find Erik would persist until the time when she would answer him honestly. Determined to keep him safe though, she blurted the lie she had been weaving in her head ever since Olivier Dervaux had made his sick demands of her.

“It was your face Erik.” Stunned silence greeted her words as neither spoke for a few moments after the words left her mouth. Erik however never wavered his gaze from hers, meeting her eyes resolutely as if prompting her to go on. When she didn’t speak he pressed her on.

“Do go on Duchess. Do not stop when you have finally decided to speak the truth. What about my face turned you over to the Baron’s waiting arms? Weren’t you the one who begged me to keep my mask off when we found ourselves in the intimate company of each other?”

“Erik, please don’t make me say these things. You have to know I do not wish to bring you such sorrow.”

“Sorrow Duchess? Have no fear; I am perfectly happy finally being faced with your utter honesty. Pray tell me then. What about my face turned your head in the idea of marriage to myself? Did you feel your skin crawl every time you had to put up with the image of the mangled flesh which in my case has to suffice for a face?”

His features took on a frosty expression at her next words. “Erik, you know I wish to have a family one day. I can only hope you will understand why I feel the need to choose another to be the father of my children. I truly do not mind your deformity Erik; I just couldn’t bear it to be passed on to the faces of my children.”

She heard him mutter something under his breath but couldn’t make out the words he spoke. Judging from his granite features though, she presumed he was finally fed up with her.

“Get out” she heard him say again, the words falling to her ears like the axe of an executioner. The blood froze in her veins at his words, realizing this would be the last time she would ever have the chance to see him. Suddenly panic rose in her, suffocating her with its icy grip on her heart.

“Leave me be…” he begged her, turning his face to the side to stare at the wall to the other side of his bed, seemingly appalled by her presence.

Her shoulders sagged under the weight of the hatred she knew he must be feeling for her at that moment. She walked slowly to the other side of the room, swerving off her course for a brief second, desperate to get close to him one last time before she would leave him in his solitude, but suddenly she was shaken from her daze. She retreated the few steps she had taken towards him and walked over to the night stand, taking off the ring from her finger and placing it on the mahogany surface.

Finally she rose to her full height, walking the few steps that would forever part her from him. Opening the door, she couldn’t resist speaking to him one last time. “I hope you will be able to find it in yourself to forgive me Erik. You are a truly wonderful man. I was merely weak in light of the circumstances as they were presented to me. I hope with all my heart you will be able to find happiness next to a woman who will be more deserving of you than me. A stronger woman. You deserve it Erik; don’t forget that.”

He turned his eyes to her suddenly, hatred pouring from their light-green depths. “Get out!” he snapped at her, unable to control his temper any longer. When she didn’t move, he screamed at the top of his lungs for all to hear, oblivious of the late hour. “GET! OUT!”

And just like that, Marianne ran. She ran away from the only man she had ever loved in her life, knowing she was effectively running from the prospect of ever finding true happiness in her life. She ran knowing she was condemning herself to a life filled with bitterness, loneliness and abuse. She ran knowing her sacrifice would keep her lover safe and free from the demons of his past. And that last fact was enough to keep her on her tracks, never casting another glance behind her as she ran into the night, rivers of tears streaming down her cheeks.

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A/N: We are sorry for the delay. Please, R&R!
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No Easy Way