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The Brother I Never Knew	By : fusedtwilight Category: Twilight Series > General Views: 2615 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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The Brother I Never Knew

Chapter 38

Fusedtwilight: Well only two more chapter before the end. Hang on people the end begins here. Thanks to my beta animegirlkiki and my readers.

Jamie P.O.V

It had been a week since the little incident.

Paul took three days to heal; if he had been human he would still be in the hospital. They had to break his leg because it healed wrong. I take no pleasure in his pain. Sam's pain now that is a different story.

I told Emily what Sam tried to do, she was not happy. I could hear her and Sam arguing all the way up in my room. I listened in giddy satisfaction knowing it was hurting Sam to have his Emily so mad at him. It was petty but I am a cold hearted bastard and there are consequences to hurting a cold bastard.

Fenris has been quiet. Fenris is the name I have dubbed my alter ego. Fenris was the wolf son of Loki. He was destined to one day kill Odin the king of the Asgardians. I think it is rather appropriate. I am the high king; he is the wolf who seeks to devour me. Only this isn't some fairy tale, I know one day he will take over me. But unlike Odin I will not die, I will find a way to get rid of him even if it kills me in the process. My life is my own, my body is my own, my will, my mind, my soul. I will share none of them with no one and nothing.

All the wolves know what I did to Paul. There was no way even Sam could hide what I did. The wolves had a new found respect for me…well more like fear. Fear, respect same thing. No one dared even look at me the wrong way. Paul was a very experienced wolf, and if a new guy like me could take him down who knows what else I could do.

It was obvious there would be a result like this. The wolves followed many natural systems from common wolves. Dominance and other aspects played out in us. IT was only natural for me to gain respect and a higher place in the chain of command. Wolves fight to prove how dominant they are, by defeating Paul I proved how dominant I was. This gained me two sets of observers. Those who would fear me and those who would be attracted to me.

Many of the younger wolves now look up to me, as disturbing as that sounds. The fact that a young pup like me could defeat a veteran like Paul has caused some ambition and confidence to spread in Sam's pack.

Many of the young one's are starting to be drawn to me, trying to be my friend. Bobby and his friends are among them. They seem to think that because we had gone rough and hunted the dealers down it has formed some kind of bond between us.

Personally I could care less. But some followers can't hurt now can it?

Leah P.O.V

I was out in the woods with the pups.

Some more of the other pack was here too. I watched as they played with the pups. Playing hide and seek and tag. It was weird to watch them play such childish games. They looked so much older then what they are. That's the power of the wolf gene it makes us older then what we appear.

Five to eight year olds looking like their in their early to mid teens. Thirteen to fifteen years olds looking like their in their twenties. I have to wonder what the point of looking older is for being a wolf? I mean muscle mass is one thing, but looking older?

Jamie was having no more therapy seasons that went without saying. I haven't heard from him or Sam in a week. From what I have heard Paul took three days to heal, thank god for the healing factor. He didn't mind too much, he got off patrol duty and Rachel played nurse for him…ew. I still haven't cried from what Sam said, what's the point? Crying won't fix shit.

One of the things I am beginning to understand is that no matter how hard I try I can never fully escape Sam. I gave him a piece of my heart and hearts are not things to be given away so easily.

Did it hurt when Sam said that? Hell yes. But I will survive. I have always been a survivor, always will be. When you lose a part of your heart you find something to replace it. I found anger, resentment, and apathy. Those made me into something ugly but they helped me survive. But the time has come to do some spring cleaning; I am going to find something better to fill my heart with. Something that will make me a better person and an even stronger person.

Strong enough that one day Sam will never hurt me again.

Carlisle and the others felt bad for waking up the other Jamie. I told them not to sweat it; if anyone was to blame it was me, my idea and all. Lately I have been throwing myself into my work, which right now is looking after the pups. Can you believe it the Cullens are actually paying me? I said no at first but they said since they are supposed to be looking after the pups it was only right for them to pay me for looking after them. I obviously gave in, I need the money.

It was nice taking care of the pups. It was one of those jobs that was fun but at the same time needed some work. The pups were still making no progress with those tempers of theirs, we had to work on that they can't keep phasing or they'll never age.

My phone began to ring and I was not expecting to see who it was that was calling me. IT was Emily. "Hello?" I answered.

"Leah, I need your help," she said. Her voice sounded rough like she had been crying.

"What's wrong? Is it Sam? Jamie?"

"Both, please can you meet me at home, Sam and Jamie aren't home and I really need you."

I looked at the pups, they were too busy rough housing too listen in. "Look I'm babysitting the pup's right now; I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thank you Leah, I can always depend on you," she said sounding so relieved.

I hanged up without another word. Yeah she could depend on me alright; too bad I can't say the same for her. I was in no hurry to go over to Sam's for obvious reasons. I was going to try and avoid all Uleys right now. Their more trouble than their worth.

"Leah come play!" one of the pups called.

I grinned to myself and joined in on the fun. I was never going to have kids, nature saw to that. But maybe the pups can help fill that role. After all I was filling in for their mothers, why can't they be the children I would never have.

I sighed as I knocked on Sam's door. Luckily it was Emily who answered. She was so happy to see me. Her eyes were red and puffy like she had been crying a lot. Maybe Sam learned of Jamie's little pill popping adventure last week or the issue with the drug dealers. Maybe he had enough and was going to kick him out.

"Leah thank God you're here!" she said wrapping me in a hug.

How often does someone say that? "What's wrong?" I asked barely returning the hug.

"Come in," She said moving to let me in.

We walked into the kitchen. She made us two cups of teas. I drank it gingerly but she finished hers in three gulps. "Emily what's wrong?" I asked gently. It pained me to see her like this. I wanted so bad to end her pain.

"Oh Leah everything has been wrong. Ever since Jamie did…that to Paul things have been bad and getting worse." a tear dropped from her eye. It slid down her scars, following the trail her scars made.

"Start at the beginning," I said.

"Well Jamie told me what Sam tried to do, Leah I had no idea he planned that. When Jamie told me I freaked. As soon as I saw Sam I started yelling at him for what he did."

Emily yelling at Sam that was something that didn't happen often.

"Then we got into this huge fight, it got so bad he started to shake and I froze. He saw how scared I got and he fled. I learned the next day what Jamie did, I went to see Paul and he looked so bad. You know how people look worse after a beating because of the bruises?"

I nodded my head. I had heard that Paul looked real bad; I didn't dare enquire how bad I was feeling guilty enough. Paul was a dick but I didn't want him to get beat up, not like that. I still have nightmares of him so bloody and torn he was nor recognizable except for his scent, and Jamie looking so cold and inhuman.

"I barely saw Sam the next couple of days, and then he came home in a rage. Leah you know the story of that drug dealer found in the woods in Forks, he said he had been beaten by four Quileutes. When Sam found out he immediately called his pack together and found out Jamie and some of the younger wolves had gone rough and attacked him!"

I closed my eyes getting ready to drop the bomb. "Emily I know, I have always known."

"What?"

I told her everything, about the party I saw Jamie at, the drugs, the sex, and Jamie making the deal, and Jamie hunting the dealer so ruthlessly.

"I thought I could help him," I said. "I thought he would just ask around, I had no idea he would do that. It was my idea he go and see the Cullens, I hoped maybe their powers could sort him out, instead I made everything worse…as usual." I put my hand over my face, unable to meet her face. I did not want to see the rage in her eyes I saw in Sam's.

I felt her hand touch mine and I looked and saw her face full of compassion.

"Oh Leah, what a fine mess were both in. There is more to the story though. You see when Sam found out he came so close to throwing Jamie out, only I kept him from doing that."

"Why?" I asked.

"Why do you want to help him so bad?" she asked.

"Because…were alike, were both something new, something different. We understand each other in a way."

She nodded her head like she understood. "I have always been very motherly, you know that. I have a sense when someone is lonely. I guess in Jamie I sensed a deep loneliness that I thought I could fill." she circled her thumb around the cup. "He's a good boy; he's just in so much pain. He's had to turn himself inward just too save himself from it."

"He needs help Emily." I said.

"He's not the only one, I heard about you're little rumble with Alex." she smiled.

"Hey that bitch had it coming, she tried to kill me Em," I said defending myself.

"I know, Leah. Ever since she phased there has been something off about Alex. It becomes more noticeable every day. She is becoming more wolf like even when she is human," Emily shuddered. "It's like the wolf is taking her over, she is becoming more territorial, more aggressive, she even moves like a wolf now. And she has taken to eating raw meat. Sam has his hands full trying to help her stay in control. But her mind is like a rock and the wolf is the waves, every day the waves beat against the rock until eventually it erodes. The same with her mind."

I could only imagine what that was doing to Sam, he had saved her life by giving her the blood transfusion. How guilty he must feel watching his cousin, his kin go through that. My poor Sam, my poor Emily, they are both suffering and there is nothing I can do about it.

"Add that to running the pack and Jamie it's taking its toll on him and I don't know what I can do to help."

I sipped my tea savoring the taste. So many problems. "Is Sam with her now?" I asked.

"Yes, it's gotten to the point where she can't be left alone."

"I would suggest a muzzle for her but that might not go over so well," a voice said.

We turned and saw it was Jamie. He was leaning against the door wearing jeans and a white shirt. He was a rebel in every way. All the wolves' wore sweatpants and either went shirtless or wore wife beaters. Jamie always dressed normal, which wasn't smart when you burst from your clothes.

"Jamie what are you doing home?" Emily asked.

"Well I do live here, for the moment," he said and went into the fridge. "Hello Leah." He greeted while his back was turned.

"What's up," I greeted back.

"Sorry if I interrupted anything, I would have been gone longer but I don't have friends so." he pulled out a jug of milk and poured himself a cup.

"What about your friend Tom?" Emily asked.

"He was never my friend, not really. Just someone who attached themselves too me hoping to make a new drone to follow him around." He drank some of his milk.

I and Emily looked at each other wondering how much he had heard.

"Actually I am glad you are both here, there is something we need to discuss, two things in fact," he said placing his empty cup in the sink. "First Alex is a lost cause; it's only a matter of time before she snaps. Second I'm leaving La Push."

"What!" I and Emily said at the same time.

"I am trying to decide if I should wait a year or move sooner. I'm thinking I should wait, that way I can finish school."

"But Jamie why would you want to leave?" Emily asked.

"It's just not working Emily." Jamie said giving her a smile. "There are just too many rules and expectations for this wolf thing. As long as I am here Sam will try and force the rules on me."

"Sam only wants what's best for you Jamie," Emily said.

"Maybe, but Sam is a firm believer in the rules, he's old fashioned. As long as I live with him he will try and force feed me his rules and I will not have that Emily."

"But Jamie what about your condition?"

"Which one?"

"This isn't funny this is serious! What if you're other self tries to take over you again? What will you do then? Who will help protect you from yourself?" Emily was getting hysterical now. "Leah talk to him say something!"

I looked to Emily who looked at me with desperation. Jamie looked blank as usual. "Maybe, when school break comes around you should leave, just for a while. Get some fresh air, clear your mind. Put some more thought into what you want to do," I suggested.

"I suppose I could do that." he said. "But I will make no promises. Things are heating up around here and it's going to boil over once Alex finally snaps."

"Jamie! Don't make it sound like we've lost her already," Emily said.

"But we have lost her already Em, don't let Sam sugar coat things for you. I have been inside her mind; there is nothing we can do. I give her a week before she snaps."

"How bad is it?" I asked.

"Bad enough you should watch your back Leah. She is a sore loser and she would like a rematch. She is more wolf then human now, she's dangerous, she's already attacked some of the wolves who were watching her."

Was it really that bad? Were we about to have to dangerous wolves in La Push?

"Poor Alex, poor Sam," Emily moaned.

"How's Ashley?" I asked. How was Alex's sister dealing with all this?

"Don't know don't care," Alex said without a touch or remorse.

"We have been telling her that Alex needs some extra wolf training. She's worried, we've had to keep the worse details from her." Emily said.

"Why are you telling us this?" I asked Jamie.

"Which part? Me leaving or Alex loosing it?"

"Both."

"Well I figured since Alex is looking for a rematch and in her condition wouldn't shed any tears if she killed you, you have a right to know. And as for me leaving…you two were the only ones I could trust. I have no friends, I no longer trust Sam, not after his little stunt. I know I can tell you both something and you won't try to interfere or stop me."

"Oh Jamie," Emily said. She got up and hugged him and he hugged her back. She pulled back to look at him. "I know things have been bad for you, for a long time, but just wait a little while and once we get some things cleared up everything will be better."

"Thank you Emily, since I have been here I have brought you nothing but grief and yet you still treat me like family. But things will never be better. Me and Sam are too different. Sam likes control and order, I prefer chaos and freedom. It just won't work out. But I will consider it." He hugged her again.

"Now if you excuse me I need to talk to Leah, alone. Pack business."

"Okay, I'll make us all something to eat while you talk," Emily said.

"It'll be quick don't bother," he said. "Leah if you'll follow please."

"I'll be right back," I said to Emily.

I followed Jamie into the woods. We said nothing as we walked, nothing need to be said. I was going to let him do all the talking. He seemed to have a lot to say. I was too busy pondering what he had said to talk anyway.

Alex was losing it and Jamie might be leaving. It was one of those days.

Jamie P.O.V

Leah followed me silently. The two of us walked deeper into the woods. Well the three of us technically.

"I can't believe you love that scar face more then you love me!" she said.

Fenris may be gone but my mother's wraith was still haunting me. I was smart and lucky enough to keep this little detail from the pack. If they knew I was seeing hallucinations of my mother I would be kept under lock down like Alex.

She had been ranting and raving ever since I had my moment with Emily. My mom was always jealous if I ever showed affection of other women.

I continued to ignore her rantings and instead turned to face Leah.

"Well this is it Leah."

"What?" she asked.

"The parting of ways, this is where we say good bye."

"What? What do you mean?"

"I'm not waiting for summer vacation to come, I'm leaving right now. And I don't plan on coming back. I meant what I said back there. This isn't working I need to leave and now is the best time."

We said nothing. Leah was looking speechless. "What about Emily? This is going to kill her."

"She will survive, I'll call every once in a while. I do care for her; she has always done right by me."

"What about Sam? You know he will try to find you," she said.

"I know, but I am very good at hiding. Besides he is so preoccupied with Alex right now it will be some time before he realizes I'm gone. I am serious when I say she will snap Leah. Sam can't face the truth; he feels too much guilt for turning her into one of us in the first place. Once she goes wild she will have to be put down."

"That's a little harsh don't you think? A little extreme," she said dryly.

"It's the truth. I know she will come for you when it happens Leah, watch your back. And if it comes down between you and her don't hesitate to strike her down."

"Is this really what you want?" she asked.

"Yes, I will live my life the way I want it. You broke away from Sam so you could find happiness, and now you're happier then what you were aren't you?" I asked.

She thought for a few seconds. "Yes, I am. I am happier now then I was when I first phased."

"Leah, I know I have hurt you and that is another reason why I must leave. People get hurt around me Leah. Weather I mean too or not it happens. I didn't mean to hurt you especially. I can't say I understand why you felt the way you did but I promise you, you won't have to worry about me no more."

"I am a big girl, I don't hurt easily."

I smiled, her tough exterior was pointless but I liked how she refused to allow me to see how hurt she was.

"I know, and Leah when I leave this place everyone and everything will fall from me like dead skin, but you I will not forget soon."

I walked toward her and she took a step back. "Jamie what?"

I grabbed her before she could finish. I drew her close until I could see her pretty brown eyes. I kissed her then. I kissed her not roughly or gently. I kissed her like I always imagined I would kiss her. Neither of us dominate or submissive, both of us as equals.

She returned the kiss which surprised me as I thought she would punch me or something. I let her go and her face was flush. "Good bye Leah Clearwater, I hope you find you're happiness."

I turned to leave. "Jamie wait!"

"I have to Leave now Leah, while Sam is distracted, I would appreciate it if you told him you haven't seen me."

"Will do, but remember. You always have a home here. No matter how bad things get you will always be welcome here." she said.

"Thank you, good bye."

I took off at a run. Then I phased shredding my clothes in the process. "Good riddance, you don't need that whore!"

"Shut up," I thought to my mother.

I heard the all the wolves in my mind. Jakes pack was with the pups at the Cullen's, Sam's pack was either patrolling or with Alex. I hated being a wolf when she was one. Her mind was like a burning wind, searing the edges of my mind.

I felt Sam's immense worry and grief. He wanted to save Alex but he did not know how, he knew he would fail but he surrounded himself with the illusion he would find a way.

Some of the other wolves were thinking about Alex to. Some were thinking how they hated being around her, how her boiling red mind hurt there's. Some were thinking how being a wolf was starting to suck. They were beginning to doubt Sam's ability as a leader.

Some of the younger wolves were getting ambitious. They were thinking it was time for Sam to pass on the torch. To someone they felt was neither a leech lover like Jake, or an incompetent rule. They were thinking I should lead the pack, they were thinking I was ruthless enough to be a leader.

Well too bad for all of them. I am washing my hands of La Push. I will not be bound my any customs or laws. I will not be a part of a tribe or a pack. My voice is my own, my will is my own. I have all I need to survive, and the best part I will live forever.

I continue to run through the woods. I ignored the voices until one by one they disappeared and my mind was silent. Until only my voice resonated. Well just another voice.

"My boy, my big strong boy. Look at you all grown up and ready to take the world by the horns. Don't worry, you'll never be alone, you'll always have me."

"Oh joy."

Fusedtwilight: What could possibly happen next? Please review, if you don't review you will make Jamie angry…you don't want to make him angry…do you?
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The Brother I Never Knew