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Emptiness	By : Josephine1881 Category: M through R > The Phantom of the Opera > Slash Views: 8257 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Phantom of the Opera, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Disclaimer: See Chapter One!

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Erik managed to contain his astonishment precisely until we had heard Viviana’s footsteps disappear down the corridor and he could be sure we wouldn’t be overheard. It was only then that he addressed me.

“Are you serious?” he asked in a low voice.

“Quite serious,” I assured him, nodding.

To my own surprise, I felt that I was indeed serious about it. I couldn’t have explained how, but I simply knew it was the right thing to do.

“I want to introduce you to my sisters,” I went on. “They’re lovely. You’ll like them, and they’ll like you.”

“Oh, I already know them,” Erik gave back with a faint smile. “At least I’ve seen them at the opera with their husbands. They do appear to be lovely, yes. They must be a lot like your mother, just like you, whereas your brother is more like your father.”

“You knew my father as well?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. I didn’t need to ask about my mother. She had died before we had even set foot in Paris.

Erik shook his head.

“I’ve never met him,” he told me. “But I’ve heard enough about him from people at the opera to know that he was the kind of man whom I’m very glad never to have met.”

I wasn’t sure what to say about that statement. It had a kind of finality that made me wonder whether he expected a reply at all. Moreover, it was perfectly true. My father had been a cruel, sarcastic man, and Philippe was like him in many ways. Not for the first time, I pondered on how different my life would have been if it had been my father instead of my mother who had died early. I was certain that my childhood would have been a lot happier.

“That is why I want you to meet my sisters,” I said, eager to stop talking – or even thinking – about my father. “They are wonderful women, each in her own way.”

“Why don’t you tell me more about them?” Erik suggested, smiling kindly.

We settled down comfortably, leaning against soft pillows, my head resting lightly on Erik’s shoulder. It was a very nice position for talking.

“Sophie is the oldest,” I began. “She has always taken good care of me. She was the one who reminded me to change my socks when they were wet, who looked after me when we went to the park and who helped me whenever she could. I had a nursemaid, of course, but I liked Sophie a lot better.”

“Naturally,” Erik agreed.

“Clarille is not much older than me,” I continued my story. “When we were little, we often pretended that we were twins, with Sophie as our mother. Clarille and I played together all the time. For a while, we also had the same teacher, a very nice woman, till my father decided that she wasn’t strict enough to teach a boy. I had to share a teacher with Philippe instead. Believe me, he was strict enough.” The mere memory made my backside throb painfully.

As if he had read my mind, Erik seized my hand and held it tight. I understood him: He asked me to go on talking, but he wouldn’t force me to reveal anything I wasn’t comfortable with.

“By then, Sophie had finished her education,” I told him. “She offered to teach me, but our father wouldn’t hear of it.”

“Of course not,” Erik muttered. “He wanted to control every part of your life.”

“He wouldn’t have had the time to do that in person,” I disagreed. “It was more that he paid others to control us. He always wanted to control everything. We were never allowed to do as we pleased. Well, my sisters and I weren’t. Philippe had a way of doing what he wanted and getting away with it. He’s still very good at it.”

Erik merely nodded. I could tell that he had a lot to say both about my father and my brother, but he held back for my sake. I was glad about it. I didn’t need anyone to tell me that they hadn’t been very nice people. I knew it myself. It was a sign of Erik’s sensitivity that he considered my feelings instead of simply speaking his mind.

“Anyway,” I went on, closing the door to my childhood with a determined nod. “My sisters are married, but I don’t think we’ll meet their husbands. They’re very busy men. It’ll be just my sisters and us.”

“I see,” Erik mumbled. He didn’t appear to be very happy.

“Do you think that what I did was wrong?” I asked him anxiously. “I didn’t really think about it. But if you’d rather not come, I could always go alone. I could tell my sisters that you’ve had an urgent appointment or something like that.”

“I don’t know if it was wrong,” he replied. “I just... don’t know...”

His voice was so full of doubts that I sat up and looked at him. He looked doubtful, too, with his brow furrowed, creating a deep line between his eyes. It was only then that I noticed that he hadn’t put on his mask yet. It made him look even more serious, though I couldn’t have said why. It gave me a secret thrill of pleasure to realise that I felt no horror looking at his face, but I knew it would have been an unwise thought to share with Erik.

“As what exactly are you planning to introduce me to your sisters?” he asked me.

“What do you mean?” I wanted to know, wrong-footed by his question, which had interrupted by own musing.

“Well, you’ve got to tell them something, even before they see me,” he explained. “This is Erik, my... Your what, Raoul? Your friend? Business associate? Lover?”

My eyes grew wide as understanding dawned on me. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. As much as I wanted to tell someone about Erik and me, I knew it might cause enormous trouble. It would mean that I’d have to reveal that I preferred men to women, for a start. I had no idea what Sophie and Clarille thought of such men, but I had got an inkling of their husbands’ opinion, and it had been quite enough for me.

“It doesn’t matter,” Erik interrupted my thoughts dismissively. “The moment they see me, they’ll know just who I am. You won’t get the chance to say a word of introduction. They’ll have me thrown out before you can as much as open your mouth. I can count myself lucky if they don’t have me arrested by the police.”

I could have kicked myself. Just how thoughtless had I been? Of course my sisters knew Erik, even though they had never met face to face. All the people who frequented the opera (and quite a few who did not) knew the Phantom. I doubt they’d be happy to welcome into their house a man who had killed two people and nearly murdered me, too.

My doubts seemed to show on my face, for Erik said,

“I am sorry, Raoul. I’m not the kind of lover you can take home and proudly present to your family. If that is what you are looking for, I’m afraid I’m not the right kind of person.”

“You are the right kind of person for me,” I stressed. “You are the only one I want. You’re kind and gentle and selfless and – “

“Oh, stop it,” Erik chided me, slapping me playfully on the shoulder, though he looked rather pleased. “I am working so hard on being known as the cruel, heartless Phantom, and now you want to tell everyone how friendly I am?”

“Yes!” I agreed eagerly. It struck me how right he was. “Yes, that is just what I want to do. You think that my sisters will hate you because they already know you, but they don’t know you at all. They only know the bad things about the Opera Ghost, and most of them are only rumours. I didn’t know you properly myself before we started to... erm, get to know each other better.”

Erik grinned knowingly and nodded. He seemed to understand what I was trying to say.

“Many people wouldn’t get the difference,” I went on, amazed that the more I spoke about it, the more I understood it myself. “They wouldn’t understand that a person is more than the part they can see at the first glance. Take Philippe, for instance. He’s only interested in himself, not in other people. To him, Christine would have only ever been a mere chorus girl, even if he had known her for years. And you would never be more than a murderer to him. Why should I bother telling him about our wonderful love? He’s not worth it.”

Again, Erik nodded.

“But my sisters are not like that,” I concluded. “They’re always interested in their fellow people. I want to tell them about our love, and I’m sure they’ll understand it.”

“What if they don’t?” Erik asked quietly.

“I’m prepared to take that risk,” I replied, trying to sound bold. “I have to. I want to tell someone how happy I am with you. And if they don’t understand it at first, I’ll go on explaining it until they do.”

Erik smiled. It was a beautiful smile that lit up his whole face.

“All right,” he agreed. “I’ll come with you. But I’ll have to go back to the opera and freshen up first. There are a few other things I’ll have to do this morning, too.”

I nodded.

“Do you have to leave right now?” I wanted to know.

“Hmmm,” Erik made, scratching his chin. “Perhaps I could be persuaded to stay just a little longer. It depends on how you’d like to persuade me.”

I smiled, moving in to kiss him.
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Emptiness