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.Vaudevilliput: Story in 10 acts (& Intermission)	By : keithcompany Category: Titles in the Public Domain > Gulliver's Travels Views: 1437 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work fiction,based on Gullivers Travels by Jonathan Swift.

Chapter List
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The fourth act builds the excitement towards the pre-intermission climax. Not your best acts, those are for after, but something to whet their appetite, make them glad for coming, and make them do my work while they're in line for ice cream between the shows.
A magician's act or an escapist (not necessarily the same thing) is what I love to put there. Hopefully something with a little bit of danger. And so did John.
The MC didn't announce this act, though. The curtains opened on a dark stage the lights came up slowly, very slowly.
When we could see, there was nothing on stage but a small table with a top hat on it. We heard voices over the speakers, intimating that we were listening in on a private conversations.
Voice1(human male): Okay, Kid. You ready?
Voice2(very high pitched, with a Fuscan accent…a Lilliputian female): Yes, sir. And thanks this chance for me giving!
V1: It's nothing, kid. Okay, she’s about to start.
NOW the MC announced: Ladies and gentlemen, The Amazing Aleeta!
The magician entered, wearing a cross between tights and a tuxedo, fishnet stockings. She started with the hat. She waved her wand around it. At no point in the performance did she or her assistant speak, just the out-of-sight stage manager and the Kid.
V1: Kid, get down.
The magician popped the hat with her wand, it flattened. The spotlight stayed on the hat and a tiny woman in a bright white jumpsuit stood there, shining for all to see.
V2: EEP!
V1: GET DOWN!
The kid ducked to lie out of sight in the flattened hat. The magician picked it up to show everyone in the audience that it’s empty. As she waved it back and forth:
V2: Oooh….whooooooooa….
V1: Don’t throw up kid, it’ll only be a second.
She pops the top back, then places the hat down on the table.
V1: Open the trapdoor, kid.
V2: Stuck it is!
The magician gestured with her hand and produced…. nothing. She glanced offstage.
V1: Open! It has to be OPEN!
V2: I it get will! I it get’ll!
A woman in classic assistant dress, gold miniskirt, deep glittery cleavage, with feathered headdress, skipped out. She assumed a pose and smiled to the audience. She tried to subtly hand something to the magician, who also smiled out to the viewers. As neither looked to see their hands, the viewers clearly saw one pass the other an egg.
V1: NOW!
V2: A minute must wait!
The magician reproduced her gesture and produced an egg from, apparently thin air. Somewhere, a kazoo made the ‘Ta-da’ fanfare. The magician waved her wand over the egg, then drops it into the hat. Over the speakers was an amplified, liquidy crunching sound.
V2: Oh, GROSS!
V1: I swear to god, kid, if you don’t…
V2: Opening it is, but covered I am with-
The magician was making a big deal about pulling her sleeves off and showing her shapely but bare arms. Then they showed that the assistant was also unable to hide anything up her sleeve.
V2: By the BIG END!
V1: What?
V2: In the table a monster is! A MONSTER!
V1: Does this monster look anything like…oh, a chicken?
V2: Uh…..
The magician reached into the hat, arm descending to the elbow in a hat that’s half that deep, and pulled out a squawking fowl.
Kazoo: Tada! (magician bowed)
V2: So HUGE it just is!
V1: Right. Get the rabbit ready.
V2: Rabbit?
The magician handed her bird to the assistant who cradled it and took it off stage.
V1: The rabbit! The Rabbit! We rehearsed this part ten times!
V2: Oh…..the Rabbit.
The magician produced a keychain with a jangle. Attached to the chain was a rabbit’s foot. As with the egg, she waved the wand over it. The speakers broadcast some sort of struggle, deep breaths and ‘oofs.’ The magician seemed to pull the foot off of the keychain without opening it.
Kazoo: Tada!
She dropped it into the hat. More wand waving and she reached down again, this time nowhere nearly as far.
V2: OW! Hands you goon you will watch the placing!!
The magician pulled up a scrawny little bunny rabbit. It was pretty clearly fake, about the size of a beanie baby.
Kazoo: Tada!
V1: Wave to the viewers, kid.
V2: Anything cannot from in here see! The head halfway pulled around she did!
V1: Wave!
The bunny waved to the curtains.
V1: The other way!
Bunny waved to the audience. The magician put it on the table in front of the hat. It did a little soft shoe then hopped back into the hat. Once more, The magician showed that it was empty.
Kazoo: Tada! (magician bowed)
More ruffling on the speakers. Assistant brought out a rolling tray with a pitcher of milk, a bowl of flour and three eggs on little stands. The magician cracked the eggs on the side of the hat, dropped the yolks and whites inside.
V2: Oh, again not!
V1: Is the cake ready?
V2: A minute must wait…
The flour was poured into the hat.
V2: Cough! Cough-cough!
She lifted the milk over the hat. I could imagine the audience making the ‘oh-oh’ or ‘oh, man’ noises people do when a performer is about to get in trouble. Just as she started to pour, a tiny umbrella popped up into the flow. The milk flowed over the sides, still into the hat, just not directly.
V2: Ha! Not today stage hand drowning does.
V1: Who are you talking to?
V2: Uh….the rabbit?
The wand was waved over the hat as if stirring. When the magician looked into the hat, she nodded as if everything was stirred well enough. She waved her hands and pulled a lighter out of thin air, lighted it over the hat. A tiny jet of white powder puffed up out of the hat, with an attending ‘whoosh’ of a fire extinguisher over the speakers.
V1: Kid, that’s part of the act.
V2: Whoops, sorry am.
She relight the lighter, waved it over the hat, waved the wand over the fire. She looked, did the fire thing again. Looked, shook her head, more fire.
The assistant walked onstage reading a cookbook. She held it out to the magician, pointing to a step. The magician looked from the step to the lighter, back again. Shrugged. Tossed the lighter out over the seats, it disappeared with a pop.
The assistant pulled two pair of goggles from the cookbook while the magician seemed to adjust settings on the wand. They both donned the goggles.
V2: What now they are doing?
V1: Is the cake ready?
V2: Yeah, yeah, what now they are doing?
V1: Don’t worry, you’re almost certainly in no danger.
V2: Almost….?
The magician aimed the wand into the hat and a giant fireball went off. Flashpowder went FOOM and a wave of heat washed over the theatre.
V1: You okay kid?
V2: Yeah, last at minute took cover.
The magician gestured and the assistant reached into the hat. She pulled out a layer cake with chocolate frosting and six candles (already lighted). There was a Lilliputian-shaped outline in the center of the cake where the frosting was missing.
Kazoo: Tada! (everyone bowed)
V1: Kid? What did you do to the frosting?
V2muffled voice, mouth full): Nuffin.’ (slurping sound)
The magician blew out the candles and the cake disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Kazoo: Tada! (everyone bowed)
Assistant produced a box of bubble gum. Magician opened it, poured fifteen to twenty pieces of loose gum into the hat.
Waved wand over hat. Chewing sounds issued over the speaker.
The magician took a step back from the table, aimed the wand at the hat like a blowgun and blew into it. Speakers changed from chewing to the hiss of compressed air escaping. A small pink almost transparent dome rose up out of the hat. The magician took another breath, blew again. Dome got bigger. She repeated until the bubble was about the size of a beachball, and fully lifted out of the hat.
At the bottom of the sphere, inside the bubble, stood the Lilliputian. As the spotlight narrowed to pick her out, we heard ‘Whoopsie!’ on the speakers.
The magician didn't seem to notice the stage hand, though. She stepped in front of the table to the other side of the stage while the assistant stepped out of the wings on the other side. They both pointed to the bubble. Then the magician made a stabbing motion with her wand, six feet away from the bubble,
V2: No! No! For waiting is the-
And the bubble popped, louder than the fireball. Pink smoke rose from the hat. The magician waved it away.
2: Ooooooh.
The assistant was still in ‘present’ pose towards the hat. The magician picked it up and turned it over. A single gigantic version of the little pieces of wrapped gum fell out.
Kazoo: Tada!
No sign of the stage hand.
V2: Where I the hell am?
The assistant fidgeted while the magician bowed to the audience.
She tapped the giant piece of gum, it broke into smaller pieces which she started throwing out into the theatre. A few people grabbed them, and I realized that some of the first performers were sitting around me. Probably watching for my reaction more than anything else.
The assistant fidgeted some more, pulling at her bust line with one hand.
V2: These better be not what they are I think…
The magician bowed again.
V2: Holy crap! Real they are! Wonderbra was Dorothy wearing I thought!
The magician rose from her bow, gestured to her assistant.
She turned to the audience, bowed.
A tiny figure swung from her cleavage to grab a tassel. While the assistant stayed bent, the Lilliputian slid to the floor, the tassel stretching all the way down. She released it and runs to the center of the stage. The spotlight shrank to show only the tiny, tiny woman.
V1: Ladies and gentlemen: The Amazing Aleeta!
Bows, more gestures, and the curtain drops.
For the segue, a spotlight shone on a Lilliputian male standing on stage right. He had a dozen really shiny knives displayed around him. He gestured, and a second spotlight appeared on stage left. A woman in tights was tied to the center of a target. Knife man donned a blindfold, a human's hand reached out from the wings to spin the target. Target woman shouted to the knife thrower and he slung the weapons. Knife after knife flashed up into his hand, back, and very nearly a fourth of the way across the stage. Then they fell to the wooden floorboards and clattered to a stop.
The hand came back to slow the target, stopping when the woman was upside up again. Knifey took off his blindfold, pointed to his 'target' and shouted "And she's UNHARMED!" The lights went out.
Then a small light came on as a man dressed as a janitor swept the knives off into the wings.
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.Vaudevilliput: Story in 10 acts (& Intermission)