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Peter Pan and Me	By : Neckar Category: M through R > Peter Pan Views: 3675 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Peter Pan, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Part Six:: NEWS TO PAN
Peter drew all the attention to his sword (no change there anyway) but as he did this he swung the front of his stabbed right foot, turning mid air, back to Kickai, foot and leg bent so that the point sticking out of his foot faced Kickai's stomach. He flew down fast but before it could enter Kickai's belly, ripping, it did so in the belly of a taller muscled pirate who ran in between. It entered his belly and and sort of popped out Peter's front foot steeled against the hard belly of the pirate. The Pirate looked, "That not hurt so bad!" But Peter, as the knife popped out his heel, flipped himself in mid air and caught the knife hilt as it hit a standstill in the air, it being ready to fall back to gravity's depths. Peter flew straight and in a yell, thinking he was going for Kickai's belly, ran the pirate through again with the knife and then his sword. Kickai yelled, "NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!" And caught the pirate who saved his life.
"Oh my!" The pirate said as Peter left the knife there and then withdrew his sword and laughed, flying up toward the mast, to watch something that made him curious. The pirate said, "Oh my, oh my," more than three times. He looked down and Kickai ripped off the pirate's meager ripped denims to release a thick shaft with a vein and the pirate was wet and finally as he thick felt the pain, his belly tightening and untightening, he made one long last thrust upward with his belly as Kickai held him from underneath. "Oh my," he said at last and his body froze in Kickai's grip and released. Blood dripping from Peter's heel rained on the ship, mostly near Kickai and rained on his chest for a short time. The pirate released along line of white.
Peter cocked his head, watching and I could tell from his look that he never had seen this before.
The pirate died and shot. Kickai yelled and cried over, putting his head to the pirate's face, "I loved you!"
"I win again!" Peter laughed and flew off. I gave one last look at the pirate ship and saw that Kickai met my gaze. He had seen me. It gave me goosebumps and his gaze on me, one of hate and longing for revenge made a quick lump form in my throat. I flew off quickly and made for Peter.
"That so unneeded," I said to myself as I flew.
I told him this when I found him. The little house was moved again, by magic. It was now in a high tree.
He was eating fruit. "Of course it was. This is my domain. They need to know that."
"But to kill and cause....Peter," I said as I found him eating fruit, "Haven't you? I mean haven't you ever seen that before?"
"You mean that curious bleeding from below?"
"Yeah."
"No."
"But surely with all the windows you look in..."
"No, never. I never spy on adults if I can help it especially when they are alone...I...what was that? Do you know? I mean if it's an adult thing, don't tell me I beseech thee. I don't want to know, it might just make me a man myself."
"But Peter..." My own hardness over the pirate's death subsiding, a new hardness came about due to this conversation.
"I also did not under...what was it the pirate...I mean I love you and I love Wendy but the captain said he loved the pirate that I felled..."
"And?" I leaned forward, on one of the wooden chairs.
"And...it was different between them."
"Oh my, Peter, you're bleeding."
"I know," Peter said enthusiastically, "Isn't it glorious?"
"No, it's horrible," I said, knowing better not to.
Peter leaned over the table from his cotton couch, and whispered in that sing song voice, that lullaby that was his intonation, "But I got first blood..."
I stood up and went over to him and grabbed him under the arms and lifted him up off the couch. My gosh, he really didn't weigh much. If at all. "Peter..."
"What are you doing?"
"Let me see that..." I went to his heel to look. "We've got to get that cleaned."
"After I eat, I'm a bit more than hungry," he told me and sat back down.
"But..."
Peter stood again and his magnificent smooth hairless belly was in full view as he touched his chest and made a constant line across his chest from over the right thick nipple toward his opposite hip, "I've been hit here and..." He touched his left arm under the shoulder and to its side, "And here and..." He made an angular line, touching himself with pointer finger as before on all his other demonstrations of his hits, "And here..." This line went from right hip to his leg, angled and lower, "And here..." He put a finger right in his navel and I thought my dick would cream there and then. "And..."
"Okay okay! I get the idea!" I said, "And not even a scar..."
Peter came forward in a new way, a way that said, "I'M IN CONTROL" but instead of that aggressive stance he took my wrist gently and I soon found my right hand put on his belly, "Feel this. Totally healed." Did he know what he was doing to me? Did he really know? For an instant in his eyes I thought I saw meaning and understanding of what he was doing to me. But searching I found only boyish guile and cunning and happiness at getting to sword fight. He rubbed my hand up and down over his navel and in it and then all his other scar areas, "See perfectly smooth."
I'll say. I said, "I'll say." I gulped. He was doing things to me again.
"Well, I'll go put the never juice on it, it never never leaves a scar...if it would make you feel better."
"It would," I said and when he left I would have some white stuff of my own that needed tending. But I stopped him from leaving "Peter, that pirate you killed, do you remember what..."
In the air already, Peter turned from exiting, "Oh, you know I forget them as soon as I kill them..."
"What? You do?"
He was nodding with eyes closed at times and smiling.
"Oh," I said, "Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh. I guess that's for the best. I mean you don't really have a conscience and I guess guilt would look rather silly on a heartless boy such as you."
Peter came back to me, floated actually. He took my left hand this time and placed it open palmed as before, but this time on his heart. I felt it beating. Mine beat harder and harder. Tingles filled me up. I supposed to feel this heart within, I now knew that Peter was at least partly human in some way. "Sometimes I am. Heartless, you know. But sometimes, there are people I am around that bring out the heart in me. Like you." He looked down at me and I melted. I gulped.
"To remember them would spoil the happiness you feel at having killed them," I said. "I mean..."
"Let it go," he put my other hand on his stomach again. Tingles from it came across the synapses in my nerves from his to mine. Tingles filled me. I soon found my fingers wrapped around his lowest of low abs, the bottom point of his washboard. His smooth button far up as though someone pushed it there. Some times it looked like that and other times it looked real low and outtie, I'd swear it changes.
"Oh, okay." I smiled. "You put me in a trance." I took my hands back and put them on my own chest arms crossed.
"I love you," He said and flew out.
Uh oh. I wondered where that would lead. I knew it was what I wanted to hear. I followed. I managed to my surprise to find him. I flew at his side. He looked at me and smiled. "But Peter, Peter...that pirate that you killed..."
"Which one?" He looked at me again and then forward as if to say, "Please forget him, he's dead. Fodder for my sword."
"I think Kickai...the Admiral...Captain..." I changed it to captain as Peter looked accusingly at me, to call his enemy by a title greater than his station was to Peter a bad form. "I believe he was in love with the pirate you killed..."
"In love?" He stopped flying and I had to put the brakes on my own flying to backtrack afterward and continue our conversation. I found him there, puzzled look on his face.
"In love with?" Suddenly realization came to his face. He did know! "Ahh, the way I love you."
"Wellllll," I did my best Will Robinson-try-to-avoid-it face, "Noooo."
"Well then what way?"
How could I taint this boy? This eternal youth who would never grow up, never know the sexual love of a woman...or a man...or even another boy...who would indeed never have an orgasm. Or did he already and was just playing a game at me? Peter knew seriousness though and I came to the conclusion that now he was being serious. Part of his allure, you see, was that one never knew what he was thinking, doing or feeling, indeed if he did think or feel. "It's complicated."
Peter flew upward again, "Oh then it must adult stuff then. Not for me, bye."
And again he was gone out of the tree house. I sighed. I felt my own heart. Thought it would beat out of my chest. And as for my "adult stuff" I thought it too would beat out of my loin cloth of leaves.

Part 7: I THINK I UNDERSTAND
I flew down to the mast of the pirate ship. I shouldn't have you know. I tried to explain to Kickai. He climbed up to meet me, "He's evil you know."
"Please, I've come to say I'm sorry."
"You didn't do anything," Kickai had a knife in his hand as he climbed the rigging. He didn't look so old that he would not be able to fly. I wondered. "It was the evil one."
"How do you know he's evil?"
"His own mother didn't want him. You've read the stories, haven't you? So have I."
"But...but where are you from? It's 2004, sir."
"Auch, bobkins and hammer and tongs! Two thousand and...how did we get here?"
"Even his own mother didn't want him. She barred him out of his window when he was whatever age it is he is now. He ran from her, he did..."
"I think I've read that but he thought he was a bird..."
"A flying winged demon!" Kickai began to pick at his navel with the knife. "He left her. She, a graceful image of beauty and love. She a doting mother..." He got all charming now. And dainty voiced.
"Please, Captain...Admiral?"
Kickai growled.
"I don't mean any disrespect but I don't want any blood spilled again."
"Too late for that!" Kickai tossed his knife right at my face. It flew through the air and I was transfixed by it coming right at my shocked expression. It would probably hit me square in the middle of my forehead. This was a sunny day to die.
A hand snatched the knife and kept it from me. Robbed me of dying for my boy. Peter. "HAHAHAHA," Peter laughed as he turned upright in the air, "My love..."
"LOVE!" Kickai snapped, "WHAT DO YOU KNOW OF MANLY LOVE!"
Peter's f ace dropped for an instant but his smile returned immediately, "I know you have one less man to love in your crew and you soon shall join his merry carcus."
"Peter!" Yelling meant nothing to him. But tone did.
Peter pointed the knife and his sword at me, "And you shall hold your tongue among my enemies or it'll be 12 lashes!" I withdrew frightened. To be attacked by this mighty pirate teenager and now this, Peter, this god of a boy angry at me for seeming to side with the pirate. It was too much for me so I withdrew, flew higher and higher and backward.
I listened though. Peter smiled and said, "Here's your knife, commander cockfight!" He threw the knife at Kickai's feet and the ropes under there snapped and broke, plunging Kickai downward. Kickai yelled and flung himself to a sail which he grabbed onto and rode downward, yelling Peter's name the whole time.
"PETER PAN! I'll have my revenge!"
"Forgot him, he was just a member of your crew!"
"You don't understand!"
"No, because I am the perfect age, the boy who never grew up, who doesn't want to grow up!"
"Are you sure of that!"
Peter flew off laughing. Like a little boy. It all left me cold. This was not the Peter I knew. Did he hear what Kickai said about Peter's mother. I think I got it now. Peter didn't trust. Didn't really love. Shut love out. His mother had another and barred the window when he was young. Didn't even really look for him. It was she who was evil. She who made Peter the way he was. He wouldn't face the hurt of rejection again. He wouldn't have to. He didn't need a mother but yet for all that he said, he did. It was why he wanted Wendy to be his mother, why he asked me to be his mother and why he once thought Tiger Lily could be his mother. Peter didn't trust, he held back his love because he was afraid of rejection! Just like the rest of us. He wasn't so different after all. He cries. He bleeds and as much as I'd like to profess his blood showed he was some alien being far removed from Earthlings, it was red. Red as my own. He saved me yet again. I thought he'd be mad at me but he either got over it or he didn't care or he forgot it entirely. I found him in the underground passage house this time. "Peter I"'m sorry."
"You are a sorry boy, aren't you?" He was eating a watermelon.
He always seemed to be eating. Not that he ever really got hungry, not really for real. "I didn't mean to side with the pirates, just try to make peace."
Peter spat as he ate and talked at the same time in horror, "PEACE!!! Why whatever for? Peace will be the boredom of me. Pirates kill boys, boys kill pirates, indians kill pirates, boys kill indians, and on and on. Sometimes though the indians are nice to us and sometimes they have warpath in their blood. That's why indians are more dangerous. One never knows when one is going to kill one or be friends with one."
"Peter, I am also sorry that...well, I do love you, you know that, right?"
"Yes I do."
"I don't think you really believe it."
"I have just said it and you are making me angry again."
He stood up and was a head taller than I. Now I was scared. It would have been nice to have a lost boy or two on my side for once but the NeverTree seemed really empty just now, underground and cold. Peter approached. I won't run, I told myself, I wont. And I didn't. He grabbed both my shoulders HARD with a grip of iron. "I...I won't leave you. I will be your mother."
I looked up at his eyes. I saw pools of water there. He was crying. Trying to hold it back but crying just the same. The water would not be held. They came. "You will?"
"Peter, oh my sweet Peter," I said as he went to his chest and put my head to it. His heart was more than human. It was warm. Whereas cold hit me before, the anger of him, now his heart gave me extreme comforting warmth. "Peter, Peter. I won't leave you out. I will keep the window open for you always. Always and Peter, I will not force you to grow up, go to school, or to an office if you do not want to. I will stay with you whereever you go, boy or man, pixie or human, baby or teen. Whatever or whereever. I will never never leave you. Can you believe that?"
"No," Peter held me but it seemed as though he were holding himself and I just got in the way. "I can't!"
I was crying now, "Oh Peter! You can! I mean it!"
"Wendy meant it once..."
"You forgot her!"
"No!"
"Maybe you should now. She's long gone to the other side."
"Other side?"
"Yes Heaven."
"Oh I see, someday I would like to join her there with the others."
"So would I."
"Not time." Peter held me and brushed my hair, "I do. I do believe you. I feel inside your heart, your mind, your love. I dare say it is nothing like anything I've ever felt before. Devot...devot..."
"Devotion. I do love you Peter, you all of you."
"It's brand new to me. I was crying and I do cry. For my mother barred me. Whereas Wendy's mother was not like that. She kept the three children, Wendy, John and Micheal in her heart forever and they never forgot her even after she died and it seemed as though they had forgotten her. I don't have that."
"You do now," I broke free and stared at him in the eyes. "You do now!"
"I do now!" He pranced, danced and acted merry and gay. Where his tears landed in the underground house, small flowers had already grown, blue and red and white and pink. "I am loved, I am loved. I am not barred. I can live where I want and be who I want and I want...."
My heart stopped. What did he want?
"To always be a boy and to have fun!"
"How could you be otherwise," I said, "But if you ever change your mind and want to grow up...I'll do it with you."
Peter came to me and sat me on his lap, "I...I might some day. It would, I think be nice to be with you. It's something I never allowed myself to think about but I think others like Wendy and Tiger Lily wanted me to but I..."
"Couldn't trust them, Peter?"
"No, not fully, they wanted me to be what they wanted me to be. They wanted me to grow up on their terms. They did not want to be my mother and replace her."
"Peter, they might have wanted to in their own way but they didn't understand...your greatest pretend of all. You do want what others have, don't you?"
"A family? Marriage? Babies? A job? A house? Money?" Peter said as though he hated the words. "I ....I don't know. I will have to take a few million years to think on this..."
I smiled. It would be a fun million years.
The play Peter Pan and its characters are trademarks of and copyright J.M. Barrie
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Peter Pan and Me