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The First Cut is the Deepest	By : TheBlindQueen Category: Twilight Series > Het > Bella/Edward Views: 6929 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
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***Chapter 4: Confessions***

“What do you want, leech?” Jacob’s voice was barely contained. I saw his hands trembling at his side and I felt a wave of shimmering heat radiating out of his body.

“My sister called,” I explained. “Victoria has been delayed. She’s in Seattle right now.”

“Why?”

“That we don’t know,” I replied. “But Alice was able to give me one bit of useful information. Victoria will make her move during a storm, a big one, out of the ordinary, even for these parts.”

Jacob stared at me. /Damn it, I was hoping he wouldn’t know anything…or was I? This is about Bella and keeping her safe. I’ll do what I have to, even listening to the bloodsucker./ Then he clenched his jaw and gave me curt nod. “All right then, big storm. Got it. Anything else?”

“No,” I answered. “That was all.”

“So when are you leaving?” Jake asked pointedly.

I shrugged, deliberately casual. “When the time comes.” I made my answer deliberately vague, knowing that my attempts to anger him were juvenile. Something about Jacob Black brought out the long-dead adolescent in me. I wanted to react, to strike out, and to hurt him as much as he had hurt me.

A low growl rumbled in his chest and I smiled cheekily at him, provoking him with the gesture.

I saw his thoughts then, how he also wanted to strike at me, to obliterate me, to crush me into nothingness. In that, our feelings were mutual. Then I saw his concern for Bella, his overwhelming and all-encompassing need to protect her. And I knew that my anger was misplaced, unfair. It was not his fault that I had made the worst mistake of my existence. I had practically handed Bella over to him.

No. That was not fair. Bella had CHOSEN him. She was not an object to be given or taken. She gave herself to Jake, an entirely different matter. So I would attempt to bury my less civilized feelings for this man and just try to be grateful that he would protect her and love her as she deserved to be loved.

“Jake,” I began. “I…I honestly am only staying because Alice feels that I need to be here right now, because of Victoria. I have no intention of even letting Bella know I’m back. And I won’t be back for long. You have my word on that.”

Jake’s black eyes stared at me, and beneath his anger I sensed a very real fear that Bella might not have truly gotten over her feelings for me. It was a fear – a hope on my part – that I knew was not true. Bella loved Jacob completely and without reservation. She had moved on, as I intended for her to do. It was my bad luck that I had not. I could live with the pain, as long as Bella was happy.

And Jake made her happy. As much as I hated that, I could not deny the truth of it.

Our eyes met and a moment of understanding passed between us. “All right,” Jake said. “I believe you. I don’t like it, but I…” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “All that matters is that Bella is safe.”

“I feel the same way.” I hesitated a moment. “Tell me, is she…well?”

Jake grimaced. “She’s doing better,” he replied and my imagination immediately conjured up a thousand agonizing scenarios. “The pregnancy’s been hard. She almost lost the baby in the beginning. But she seems to be doing good now – and the baby too.”

“She seems very happy,” I said, even though the words burned my throat. God, how I hated to admit that to myself, much less to him.

Jake laughed, but the worry lingered in his eyes. “She’s crazy happy about the baby,” he admitted.

“She’ll be a good mother.” And that was one of the reasons I had left her, so that she could fulfill all those human dreams she had every right to want. Even the dreams she had not yet known she would desire.

“Yeah, I know,” Jake answered quietly.

“Your son will be lucky to grow up with her,” I told him. Even as I said the words, forbidden yearnings flourished in my brain.

“I’m good for her, you know,” Jacob said suddenly. “What we have, it works. It makes sense and it’s healthy for her.” /Not like what she had with you, bloodsucker./

“Yes,” I replied grudgingly. “I know that.”

“I can give her everything you couldn’t,” Jake pushed. “And I have.”

“I lost her a long time ago,” I admitted.

“And I found her.”

I smiled at him, thinking that hell itself could not burn more than this realization.

~~~~~

I finally took a hunting trip the next day. I carefully avoided any area near the reservation. There was no need to stir up trouble when there seemed to be an abundant supply of it anyway. I was lucky enough to find a mountain lion, though I had to settle for a few herbivores in order to fully satisfy my appetite, if I could call it that. I wasn’t thirsty for the moment, and that was enough.

I was not surprised when I arrived back at the house to discover I was no longer alone. I sighed, shaking my head, and then laughed at the inevitability of it. I should have known.

“Alice,” I said, nodding at her. She ignored my rather cool greeting and launched herself at me, throwing her arms around my neck and squeezing hard. “Jasper,” I added, looking over her shoulder. Something inside of me eased. I had wanted them with me, but had not realized it.

Alice had known. She always does. That is what makes her so exasperating and so wonderful at the same time.

“Okay, okay, get it over with,” Alice muttered. “Yes, I know that you can take care of yourself. Of course you have everything perfectly under control. I understand there was no need for us to interfere. You prefer your solitude…. Yada, yada, yada.” She grinned at me. “Did I leave anything out?”

“Only one thing,” I replied. “I’m very glad to see you.” Jasper laughed and gave me an approving nod. He loved Alice to distraction and he was happy that I was not going to give Alice a hard time for following me here.

Alice slid into Jasper’s embrace then and I followed them into the house.

~~~~~

“So…” Alice began once we had uncovered the living room furniture and she was comfortably ensconced in a huge chair, practically in Jasper’s lap. “What gives?”

“Well, it’s a long story,” I murmured.

“We’ve got time,” Alice retorted dryly.

I grimaced and then a wave of peace washed over me. I glanced at Jasper and he winked. I sighed again. I didn’t WANT to feel at peace; I wanted my anger and my grief. But I knew that those feelings would affect Jasper too, and so I could let go of them for this brief space of time. “Bella married Jacob Black.”

“Ephraim Black?” Alice asked, clearly asking if they were related.

“Great-grandson,” I confirmed.

“And he’s a wolf?”

“Looks like there are quite a few of them,” I admitted. “And it’s our fault.”

Jasper looked surprised. “What do you mean?” he asked.

“Well, apparently, the genetic mutation that allows them to shapeshift kicks in when they’re around vampires.” I smiled grimly. “That’s why they seem to pop up whenever we do.” I shrugged. “That’s what they believe anyway.”

Alice looked thoughtful. “Makes sense, I guess.”

“How many of them are there?” Jasper asked, but I couldn’t see the point of the question.

“If I got it right, there are ten of them,” I answered. “Jake’s the alpha.”

Alice and Jasper shared a look and before I could even try to read their thoughts, Alice spoke up. “That’s actually good news, Edward.”

And then I saw what she had seen. Victoria was still on her way, but she was showing more patience now, preparing her attack, giving thought to strategy. “Newborns?” I gasped. “Doesn’t she know how dangerous…?”

Of course she did, and she didn’t care. Victoria didn’t care how many humans died, as long as Bella was one of them.

“There’s no way we could fight off what she’s bringing here,” Jasper said grimly. “Even if all of us could get here in time.”

“Denali?” I asked, grasping at straws.

Alice was already shaking her head. “No,” she said bluntly. “Laurent,” she said by way of explanation, giving an annoyed grimace. “They figured out he came back for Bella and now he's dead." She shrugged. "It’s beyond stupid of course, but the fact remains.”

“But with ten wolves…” Jasper mused aloud. He nodded. “That’s much more manageable.”

I stared at them in dismay. What Alice had seen coming would require much more than me simply sharing information with Jacob Black. We would have to work together – closely together – in order to save the woman we both loved.

And there was no way that all of this could be kept from Bella. Whether Jacob liked it or not, she would have to know, eventually, that I was back.

I fought against the wave of fierce joy at the thought.
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The First Cut is the Deepest