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Shamaness Indeed	By : miladygrimm Category: Anita Blake > FemmeSlash Views: 1777 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Anita Blake, nor any of the characters aside from Taini Shadowhawk. All other characters are property of Laurell K. Hamilton. I do not profit from this fanfic in any way

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
It was warm, desperately warm. Taini clung to the heat around her like a drowning woman to a life preserver. She felt arms around her. Was that right? She couldn’t open her eyes, someone must have weighted them with lead while she slept. She tried to move and found herself trapped. There was a body on either side of her, and an arm from either body was around her belly. It was a new feeling. She had never woken up with two other people before. Okay, she had never woken up with just one person before either. That wasn’t the point. She tried to move, which woke one of the occupants.
“You’re awake.” Said a gruff voice rather pointedly.
“Merle?” She asked.
A grunt was the reply. Taini found she could now open her eyes. The middle aged male looked at her curiously. “How are you feeling?” He asked her.
“Warm, sleepy….” She said cuddling back down in the warmth. She realized now she could feel skin. She frowned looking down. She wore what might have amounted to a pair of underpants, and a very sheer camisole. She blushed furiously and pulled the blanket tight around her. Merle didn’t comment. He himself seemed to be wearing loose boxers.
“It makes sense, it must have taken a lot out of you to heal Sylvie.”
That woke her up even more. “How is she?”
“See for yourself.” Merle said motioning.
Taini rolled over on her other side, and there she was. Sylvie was still in a state of deep sleep. Her brows were knitted and her upper lip twitched into what could only be described as a frown. Her face, however, was almost completely healed, a small bruise around one of her eyes was all that remained of the injuries. Her neck was smooth and pale, and her shoulders had only a few light bruises. She was dressed almost primly in a silken spaghetti strap nightgown.
“She started healing after you passed out.” Merle said. “She got worried and offered to sleep in your bed, share her heat to help warm you.”
“And you?” Taini asked looking back over at Merle.
Merle shrugged scratching the back of his neck. “I don’t know. You seem like a good kid.”
Taini knew that wasn’t the entire truth, but she wasn’t going to push. Instead she simply stated. “Thank you.”
Merle slid out of bed, “I’m going to go let Micah you are awake.”
Taini nodded, then looked up at the man who was putting on a t-shirt. “Hey Merle?”
“Yeah, kid?”
“Do you think they’ll accept me into the Pard?”
“Honestly?” He said looking down at her. She nodded slowly, worry filling her onyx colored eyes. “You already are.”
With that he turned around and headed out of the room.
Taini snuggled back down into the covers, Sylvie’s arm resumed it’s place around her belly and pulled her close. Taini smiled. It felt perfectly natural to be curled up with someone. The heat seemed to make the leopardess inside her rumble with joy. She was baking like a kitty in the window light. Taini placed her arm over Sylvie’s and closed her eyes. Not for sleep, but rest. She snuggled down till she was spooning with Sylvie.
She had come here in the hopes of being accepted for herself. In a way she had been, but it almost didn’t feel right. She had the distinct feeling they had accepted her because she could heal, and that just wasn’t right. She had learned a long time ago that her gift was special. That it wasn’t for show. It was to be respected. She had also learned that if she didn’t use her talents bad things would happen. Being a shaman didn’t mean just healing, though it was definitely where her strength was. Shamans had elemental powers, earth, air, fire, water, and spirit. Taini had always been strong in spirit. She sighed softly and then paused. Sylvie’s grasp had become just a little tighter around her belly pulling her tighter. Her beast perked up unexpectedly.
She was suddenly very aware of Sylvie’s breath on her neck, the curve of her fit body fitting perfectly behind Taini. Taini was finding it very hard to breath. If Taini didn’t know better, she’d think she was acting…romantically. She had never had a lover of any sort, female or otherwise. Her community was close enough that everyone knew what she was. Even if they didn’t believe in it, they knew she had a gift. It had kept potential suitors at bay. It was feeling very nice to be held. She felt Sylvie’s mouth brush ever so softly against her neck, it was a delicate sort of caress with the mouth. Taini felt herself tremble in the other woman’s grasp. Sylvie’s hand traveled up her body, from her belly, over her hip, her side, pausing to caress her soft breast through the sheer camisole. Taini felt her nipple contract, hardening beneath the fabric. Sylvie giggled and the sound reverberated down Taini’s spine.
The fingers teased delicately of Taini’s hardened nipple, Sylvie rolled it between her thumb and forefinger till Taini cried out softly. Suddenly Sylvie’s hand was on her chin turning her to Taini to face her. Taini didn’t fight it, she turned sliding one long tanned leg between Sylvie’s thighs, wrapping her arms around her. It should have felt wrong, it should have felt unnatural or at the very least awkward. It didn’t. Sylvie’s mouth was suddenly on hers. It wasn’t a soft or gentle kiss. It was possessive. The curly haired brunette slid a hand behind Taini’s head and pulled her closer, pushing Taini’s mouth open with her tongue and diving in familiarly. Taini did not reject. She let her hands slide up Sylvie’s body, feeling her hips, then her sides, slid up and down those safer places because she was far to nervous to touch anywhere else.
“Gwen…” Sylvie whispered.
Taini froze. Sylvie’s eyes sprang open and blinked in astonishment.
Sylvie pulled away suddenly, “Oh God, Taini I am so sorry, I thought…”
“That I was Gwen.” Taini said softly. She was surprised her voice could sound that soft with the way her beast was swirling up inside of her. The leopard was pissed.
“Yes, I mean, I was having this dream, and I felt you right there and…” Sylvie got out of the bed, looking for something to put on. Taini pulled the covers up over her body, wrapping them tight around her. She felt cold again. But this time it was the coldness of being alone.
“It’s okay, you didn’t mean anything by it, I understand.” Taini said struggling to keep the words from sounding as upset as she was beginning to feel.
“You are mad at me.” Sylvie said. It wasn’t a question.
“A little.”
“Why? I mean, you have plenty of reason…but why?”
Taini sighed looking down at the pattern on the quilt as she sat up, tucking her knees closer to her body. “That…was my first kiss.”
Of all the things she could have said, Sylvie had expected that the least. “Are you sure? I’m sorry, stupid question, of course you’re sure.” Sylvie sat down on the bed, and moved as if to hug Taini.
“Don’t…please.” Taini said softly. She felt horrible inside. She should have realized. Right from the beginning. Hadn’t she seen how much hurt Sylvie had felt with Gwen’s leaving? Yes, it was a deep hurting. She truly loved Gwen. Taini was just the girl who happened to be able to heal her. It was an honest mistake. So why did it hurt so much? She didn’t love Sylvie. Of that she was very certain. So why the hurt? It had been her first kiss damnit. It had been hers to give, and by accident someone had taken it. Taini seemed to forget for the moment that she hadn’t stopped Sylvie or push her away. She knew only that she was upset with the situation.
Sylvie pulled back. “I’m sorry. You are fine, and I’m healed enough. I’ll go.”
Taini didn’t try to stop her.
Sylvie pulled on her light blue shirt, and dark blue business slacks. She tucked her feet into dainty sandals and left the room.
“What was that all about?” Merle asked. Taini looked up, had he just appeared there? No, he must have passed Sylvie in the hall. Taini looked away.
“It was an honest mistake.”
Merle just looked at her. It was obvious from the deep frown that he didn’t believe her. However, he didn’t push. Taini could appreciate that. He did however inform her that Micah wanted to talk with her. She nodded. “I’ll be out in a moment.”
Taini sat there for a moment, trying to swallow her feelings. She didn’t understand. She wasn’t in love with Sylvie. So she should have just been able to laugh it off. To shrug and tell Sylvie that it was okay, it was an honest mistake. If that was the case, why couldn’t she? She didn’t know Sylvie. She knew only that her body had reacted…no…her leopard had reacted.
That made her frown. Was that all it was? Animal attraction? Taini laughed. Yes, that was it. Her beast had been attracted to a strong, capable, and powerful wolf. Sure, it crossed the species and gender lines. Her leopard didn’t seem to give a damn. Taini slipped out of bed, her pack was on the floor next to the nightstand. She took the toothbrush and hairbrush to head into the bathroom to get ready.
She paused when she saw herself in the mirror. She looked like she’d put a long quilled porcupine on her head. Her long raven colored hair stuck up all over the place. She grumbled and began to brush through the knots that covered her head. Why could she never look normal when she woke up? Then the thought crossed her mind that her first kiss had been with crazy bed head and morning breath. She groaned and bumped her head against the mirror.
She heard a knock on the door. “Everything alright in there?”
“Yeah Merle, everything’s fine.”
She slid into her jeans, pulled on a simple t-shirt that stated ‘No Child Left Behind means that I have to stop and wait for You.’ An old t-shirt from the late nineties in which the “No Child Left Behind” Act was employed. She had never agreed with the idea that all students would be given exactly equal teaching. She thought that advanced students should have more choices. If a child wasn’t willing to learn, they shouldn’t be in the same classroom as people who want to.
She set her things on the bathroom counter and headed towards the sound of voices.
She found them all sitting in the living room, scattered on the couch, chair, and leaning against the wall. There were familiar faces from the night before, Micah, Merle, Cherry, blue haired boy, and Caleb. There were two other females, both of them looked like beaten puppies…okay, beaten kitties. There weren’t any marks on them, not that she could see at least. But Taini would bet good money that both of them had been abused in the past. Either way they looked like they’d been through the ringer more times than they ought to have been.
Micah smiled, “Good evening, Taini.” He said motioning for her to take a seat. She moved into the rough circle of people, taking a place next to Merle. At least she knew and trusted him. He reached out and gave her a pat on the shoulder.
“You remember Nathaniel, Caleb, Zane, and Cherry.” He motioned to each of them in turn.
Taini smirked inwardly, at least now they all had names. “Yes, I remember.”
“These are Violet and Gina, more of our Pard members.”
Taini nodded to them. Somehow she couldn’t really work up the desire to be friendly. Her mind was understandably elsewhere.
“They are here to welcome you.”
That got her attention. “Welcome me?” There was a feeling in her stomach, like first plane ride feeling. It was a mixture of being excited and scared all at once. “Could you explain?”
“While you were healing we all spoke, we told those who weren’t present of what you did, what you were willing to do to help people. You didn’t bother asking if they were good or bad, human or lycanthrope, you simply moved in to help. This speaks well of you.” Micah said.
Caleb nodded, “Not many people stick their neck out for people they don’t know.”
Taini looked down, her cheeks flaming bright with her blushes. “I did what any one would do.”
Merle snorted. “That’s bull, and you know it.”
Taini sighed and looked around the oblong semi-circle of people. “I did what I was taught to do. I help, I have a Gift, and I use it. If I don’t it goes out of control.”
Nathaniel gave her an odd look, “Like, random healing?”
Taini shook her head, “No, that…that isn’t how it works. I’m a shaman, a medicine woman, there are many names for what it is I do. I have an affinity for the elements. Earth, air, fire water, and spirit.”
“Spirit is an element?” Zane said looking incredibly confused.
Surprisingly enough it was Merle who answered. “Spirit is made up of parts of all the other elements.”
Taini gave him a smile of appreciation. “Merle is right. But what I mean is, if I don’t use my abilities, just like any other person who has a Gift, they get a little out of control. One time I burnt my friends smokehouse down…it was an accident, but the flames just sort of…sprang up. When I got stood up for prom, it rained for days. When my grandfather died, I couldn’t stop the tree roots from growing right into his coffin…” She shuddered at the memory. “All because I didn’t want to accept what I was. Finally my Grandmother called Aeke, the only other Shaman we knew of. He taught me what to do, and how to do it. He said that the Spirits were angry with me for not using them as they were meant to.”
“Anita raises things on accident if she doesn’t regularly do her job too,” Nathaniel piped up.
Taini nodded. “But, I did what I did because I am supposed to, not because I am a good person.”
“You are both.” Merle gave her a long steady gaze, as if challenging her to disagree with him. She felt the leopardess inside of her feel shame, it felt a need to apologize. She fell to her knees in front of him, rolling unto her back to expose the length of belly. When she saw something in his eyes she rolled back unto her hands and knees crawling forward, pushing her cheek against his knee. He placed one hand on her head, and she felt the fear subside.
“We want you to be part of our Pard, we want to welcome you. If you still wish to be with us of course?” Micah asked looking down at her.
She paused. She wasn’t completely sure. She hadn’t gotten to know them as much as she would have liked. But what would happen if she said no? She could find somewhere else. The leopardess inside her seemed to bristle at that thought. The leopardess was home. She sighed inwardly. She had gotten used to listening to the instincts of her cat. It seemed to realize things she didn’t. So she bowed her head, “Yes, my Nimir-Raj.”
And with that they swarmed around her. Some crawled on all fours like furless cats, others slid to their knees around her. Micah took her head, put it against his chest so that she was leaning between his kness with hear ear over his heartbeat. “We are Pard.” he said softly. And like magic there was a feeling that surrounded them, engulfed them. She could smell them all, see them all even though her eyes were closed. She felt their hands on her skin, she felt them sniffing her, familiarizing themselves with her scent and feel. She should have been uncomfortable. But it felt so wonderfully natural she just smiled. She reached out to touch each of the leopards. She could feel them, their feelings, their hopes, their dreams. She saw in her head Zane and Cherry waking up together on a beautiful morning. She saw Caleb being held by a pretty woman, safe and happy. She saw Merle fixing his motorcycle with Nathaniel’s attempted help. She saw Nathaniel in the curl of Anita’s arms, one after another after another.
She pulled away breathless, feeling them pile around her till they were all touching. She felt connected with them now. Their touch seemed to mean even more than before. Because it was her Pard. She felt herself drifting off when the doorbell rang.
“Wolf.” Someone said.
“I’ll get it.” Merle answered. She lifted her nose and sniffed…and froze. “It wasn’t just wolf…it was.”
“It’s Sylvie.” Merle called. “She’s got flowers.”
- 3
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Shamaness Indeed