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My Little Lost Christian	By : TheScientist Category: A through F > Fifty Shades Trilogy Views: 7482 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades Of Grey or any of the characters from it. I am not making any money from the writing if this story.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
Pulling into Harvard is like pulling into a foreign country. All manicured and old worldly, you can almost smell the leather upholstery as you drive by the parking lot speckled with Rolls Royces and thousand dollar bicycles. While Christian is as capable of anyone, more capable even, of succeeding here...I often wonder how he manages it.
Unbeknownst to Saint Grace, this is not my first visit to Harvard. Or Christian. In fact I have a suite in a swanky nearby hotel at my beck and call and have created a false relationship with an old college friend who's fallen on hard times and lives in the area. I needed to give my suspicious husband a reason for all of my travel. But this time I am here innocently...as Doctor Trevelyan Grey's guest. Carrick is away on business and as formidable a woman as Grace is, she hates to soirée alone and I can hardly blame her. Small talk is a gift...a talent. It's so much easier to play as a pair. So we have embarked on a girl's weekend which includes a visit to Harvard to watch Christian receive an honor from the prestigious economics department, and then to take him out for a celebratory lunch. My skin has been bristling for him all day. I get hot when I see him have to maintain his composure around me. And no one forces that out of him like his dear old mother. He's twenty now...I've often thought about commanding him to tell her. But I know that will never happen. Not on purpose, anyway.
Twenty. My little Christian is twenty. The boy who at fifteen would fall asleep sated in my lap like a lost puppy while I stroked his hair and watched him rest, content that I could give that to him. I had watched him blossom into a man who at twenty would sit awake at night while I slept curled up in his side. He would read and research. Whatever he learned in these vast brick walls of Harvard could never amount to what he had taught himself. The same Christian who had begun texting me in the middle of the night when a nightmare had woken him and he'd need just to hear my breath on the other end...whispering to him that he was safe. In all my years of being with Christian in whatever fucked up way we were...the nightmares were the constant.
I remember the first time I witnessed one. One of the first times Christian had fucked me. We had gone so hard that I knew he wouldn't make it home without a rest. And instead of sending him off to do it alone, I invited him to rest in my bed. And, covered in sweat and smelling like sex, he looked positively angelic as he drifted off...his head on my chest, my fingers in his hair. I had almost dozed off myself when I felt his body stiffen and twitch. I opened my eyes to see his face in gut wrenching pain. Moments later a scream left his lips as he shook so violently the bed rattled. I frantically grabbed a hold of him and shouted at him until he came to, terrified I was going to have to call his mother to find out how to help him if he was having some kind of seizure. He woke violently and terrified...flailing at me and crying, asking who I was, where he was. It was horrifying. I finally slapped him across his soaked cheek both to calm him and to punish him. That was the only way I knew how to deal with him. And through the years, no matter how he grew, the night terrors persisted. And usually in their wake, Christian and I would bond in a way that was no longer just aggressively physical. He opened up to me and I to him. Sometimes when he would call me from school, we would have phone sex...but even that was just to sedate him some. I would purr in his ear and listen to him jerk off for me and we would both sleep a helluva lot better.
But today wasn't the day to think about Christian Grey jerking off for me. I had to maintain some course of dignity. At least until I could figure out a way to get him alone. As it turns out, that would be a lot harder than I fucking anticipated.
Grace pulled her sleek Porsche into the closest spot she could find and we simultaneously exited the car. I smoothed my black dress as I walked along to her side. I had chosen a sleeveless black dress that hugged in all the right places while remaining just modest enough. I wore a single strand of pearls around my neck that I had worn several times with Christian...knowing that would kick start some warm memories for him. My black stilettos clicked in time with Grace's as we made our way into the great hall.
It was decked out quite nicely with several tall tables draped in floor length white linens. A string quartet played in the corner and their lovely music floated through the room. Several attendants passed small plated food around and we hadn't been inside for more than a minute before we were both offered a flute of champagne. And to my surprise, it was decent. This was no small affair. I made small talk with the best of them, casually laughing along with Grace as she rubbed elbows almost professionally. But I couldn't help but scan the room. I was dying to see him. It had been weeks and I had gotten to a point where I missed him nearly every second I had to be away from him. Dangerous.
Grace was talking about Christian with a professor of his and I was in and out of caring when I caught a glimpse of that tousled copper mane over someone's shoulder. My eyes narrowed and focused and I saw him. Across the room, coming in from outside with a small group of others. He was smiling coyly, a half smile that seemed just polite enough, but his face was warm and...dare I say it, happy. He reached for his sleeve and I noticed he was toying with a cuff link that had come loose. He bit his lip in concentration as he fiddled with it before another pair of hands joined his. A female pair of hands. I studied them on his wrists unable to take in much else. The tiny fingers ran inconspicuously over Christian's strong thumb. The muted red nails were short and manicured and deftly made short work of fixing his cuffs. Christian adjusted his sleeve and shook it straight before placing his arms back at his sides. Then...the little slut...reached up and adjusted his damn lapel. As if he was a five year old. And to my absolute horror, Christian didn't bristle at her nearing him. In fact he chuckled slightly and made a mock sneer as she shook out the knot in his black tie. It was a subtle and seemingly innocuous interaction but I know better. I know Christian.
Christian and the mystery brunette were soon being ushered towards a raised stage and podium by a group of people and I soon lost them in the crowd. Not long after the harsh feedback of the microphone being turned on quieted the room as a formidable looking middle-aged man took to the podium. There was an immediate hush and Grace and I found our place at the nearest high top and placed our clutches and drinks down.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and on behalf of the economics department here at Harvard, let me take this moment to thank you all for your various levels of support and donation. I am very glad to have you here today as we showcase some of the phenomenal developments we as a department are making thanks in no small part to you."
Grace leans in to me and I meet her half way.
"That's professor David Matthews. He's the head of the department. He adores Christian." Grace whispers in a proud, motherly tone.
"And how does Christian feel about him?" I whisper back, smiling subtly as she chuckles.
"Oh...the same way Christian feels about everyone." We both enjoy a modest laugh as we tune out of his speech. Some people towards the front have taken seats, and I scan the panel of people seated behind Professor Matthews...looking for Christian. And I spot him almost immediately. Looking incredibly handsome and standing out in a sea or normality as usual. He is seated next to his young freckle faced brunette friend again and no sooner do I see him does she lean in to whisper in his ear. I feel myself hiss through clenched teeth...too close, you little bitch. Her lips are practically on his ear and what's worse he's grinning. But even as she talks I see his eyes scanning the room. A thought runs through my veins.
"Does he know you were coming?" I whisper to Grace, suddenly wondering who he might be looking for. She smiles wickedly and turns to me.
"No. Carrick talked to him earlier this week and told him he couldn't make it. So we will be a surprise." She winks. A surprise indeed. Suddenly I cool to the fact that he doesn't know I'm here. This relaxed and happy version of Christian is one that doesn't know he is in my presence...interesting. I watch him with new curiosity and intensity. I try to feign interest in what Professor Matthews is still going on about.
"It is my privilege to stand before you today to represent what I feel is the best class of students to come through our program here. The promise these gifted young adults have shown myself and the rest of my staff has set a new level if excellence here at Harvard. And with that being said, I am pleased to announce to you today a new endeavor that our University is embarking on."
There is a hush in the room, and I can see in Grace's face that she knows what is coming next. In fact her eyes are glossing over with tears and I suspect I may be the last person to know what's going on...my biggest pet peeve with little Christian.
"Starting next semester, our department will send two students overseas to Madrid where they will work from the ground level to design and maintain a company that will serve as a major shipping conglomerate with our burgeoning government funded programs. The president himself was involved in picking our candidates as this opportunity will no doubt lead to impossibly remarkable world finance careers."
I start to see where this is going and I can feel a fire in my gut.
"Ladies and gentleman, it is with great pride that I present to you our two top economics majors...Mister Christian Grey and Miss Nora Atwood...who will work together immediately to prepare for this undertaking, and who are undoubtedly prepared to make this university, and all of you, proud."
He turns from the podium and gestures towards them as the crowd goes wild with applause. And Christian, ever the gentleman, stands and the proffers Nora his hand. She stands and holds on to him too long, smiling, until they step closer to the podium. Christian nods his head slightly at the continuing applause as his eyes scan the crowd once more. I notice immediately when he spots his mother. She waves a hand high to him and he offers her an uncharacteristic grin and nod of affection before his eyes skim over her shoulder and meet mine.
I am still clapping slowly. My face painted with a faint smile but my eyes painted with betrayal. He knew about this. But for how long? How many times had we talked and he failed to mention it? One look at his traveling companion and I know why. Move to Madrid with Little Miss Economics America? His face drops slowly and I know he knows he's sunk. He stares at me intently for a long while before I raise an eyebrow and then casually wink at him. He blinks several times and then turns from me...returning to Earth no doubt.
From then on I hear nothing that anyone says, I just watch Christian for a reaction and notice his eyes pain to avoid mine.
"This is some honor!" I lean in to Grace once the presentation is over and drinking can continue. Thank God. I'm gonna need more wine to fake this bullshit.
"Carrick and I were beyond thrilled when Matthews called us. I mean, we know Christian is bright and driven. But..." Grace searches for the words. I help her.
"He's Christian." I tap her gently on the arm and wink in appreciation. If anyone knows Christian it's me. At least I thought I did.
"So, Madrid? Is he excited?"
"Oh you know Christian, he can be so guarded. I can't imagine he won't be. And Nora is just a doll. We keep hoping...maybe...he will finally open up and take a chance with a girl..."
If she only knew. Her words cut into me like several tiny daggers. I sip my wine and notice my hand is shaking. Her eyes go wide.
"Darling!" She calls out over my shoulder and I have to take a moment before turning. Christian is just feet behind me, striding towards us, hands cooly tucked into his pockets. Grace moves just past me and throws her arms around his neck. Christian tenses a little and she can feel it. She backs off almost immediately.
"I know, honey, I'm sorry, I'm just so proud of you. My boy. So proud!" He smiles kindly at her as she cups his cheek gently and then his eyes move to me. I'm standing just behind his mother as if I'm waiting my turn to greet the Pope. Grace notices he gaze as it adjusts.
"Dad is so sorry he couldn't be here and you know how much I can hate these things alone. So I thought I'd double the surprise and bring an old friend along." Grace steps back allowing me to move forward. I slowly extend a hand and Christian takes it. The tension is so thick it's blinding and I wonder again how stupid Grace must be to not suspect.
"Congratulations. You've made everyone very proud."
Christian gulps after I speak and takes a moment to look at me, my hand still in his.
"Thank you, Mrs. Lincoln. And how nice of you to look after my mother."
He forces a smile and I meet it. Nice, indeed. And I'm immediately distracted by the thoughts of wiping that smug grin off of his face later. But before I can get lost in that I am disrupted by my new least favorite person.
"Doctor Grey!" She calls from behind me and we all turn in her direction. Nora Atwood. Perfectly postured and gorgeous Harvard junior who is exactly Christian's type. Her brunette hair hangs in loose curls over both shoulders and her pink pout and perfect teeth are just the picture of happiness. Bitch. Grace eases past me and hugs her full on.
"Nora! I am so proud of you, I can't imagine sending Christian off to Spain without knowing you'd be there to keep him out of trouble."
They are too familiar with each other. I glance at Christian and he nervously runs his hands through his hair and gives me a brief side-long glance before Nora grabs his attention.
"Christian, do you mind if I borrow your mother? I want her to meet my parents."
Christian smiles and nods but remains speechless as the two women slink off into the crowd still deep in conversation.
I inhale deeply and then turn to Christian, picking up my glass of Riesling.
"You didn't tell me you were coming this weekend." Christian's voice is lower now although in the noisy crowd I'm hardly worried about picking a fight.
"You didn't tell me a lot of things." I answer. Touché. He stammers.
"It's complicated."
"Is it, now?" I answer immediately, unwilling to hear his pathetic excuses that have come too late. I continue.
"What's complicated about going abroad with your latest little fuck buddy to make tons of money for Harvard fucking University, Mr. Grey?" I seethe at him and my anger becomes less and less contained.
"She's not my fuck buddy." He answers pointedly, hurt by the accusation, but I buy none of it.
"Have you fucked her?" I cut to the chase and he stares at me, gritting his teeth. I take a step closer to him. "I said...have...you...fucked...her?"
He closes the space between us.
"No." He answers and I feel my heart rate subside as I place my drink down, "but I want to." His words rip into me and he hisses them slowly because he knows he is hurting me. I squeeze my glass so tight I think the glass might crack in my fist. I let it go. His eyes still on me. I grab my purse and tuck it neatly under my arm. I turn into him and we lock angry eyes for what feels like an eternity. I clear my throat and fake a smile.
"Please tell your mother I suddenly felt ill and I will see her later at the hotel..." I lean in and whisper to him, "and you will receive a message from me at 7:00 to tell you exactly where and when you will receive your punishment for this behavior you insolent little fuck. You don't rule the world, Christian Grey. Not yet."
I watch his eyes take in my words and he remains expressionless. I turn to leave and am stopped by Grace and her...concubine.
"Elena...this is Nora. Forgive my manners and not introducing you two earlier!"
Nora extends a hand and I take it putting on my kindest airs. She closes her other hand over mine.
"Elena it is such a pleasure to meet you. Christian speaks so highly of you. I know it meant the world to him that you came."
Oh, so he talks to you...about me. How dare he? For a second I wonder what he says. What she knows. She is too pretty. I pull my eyes from her because all I can think about is Christian laying on her, fucking her senseless, playing with that hair, cumming inside of her. I turn to Grace.
"I am so sorry ladies but I think the wine has gotten to me. Hopefully it's nothing a nap won't heal."
Grace leans in and kisses one cheek and then the other.
"Rest up then. Hopefully you'll be up to celebrating tonight."
I nod at Nora and then turn to Christian who looks like the most uneasy man in the room all of the sudden. I squint at him and my nostrils flare in anger at the idea of leaving him with her. But I have to get out of here before I explode. And time is short. I need to figure out a way to remind him who he belongs to. That he is mine.
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My Little Lost Christian