Adult-FanFiction.org : Books

.Movies	By : keithcompany Category: Titles in the Public Domain > Gulliver's Travels Views: 2234 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, based on Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift. Any resemblance to person(s) living or dead is purely coincidental.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
I couldn't figure out the zip ties. I'm sure there was a way to open them, but I was afraid I'd rip them apart. And I don't think Barasano, the local Barasano, would accept that I had the strength of 1700 men because my heart was pure. So I tried to make New Barasano comfortable and waited. Spooky came back and put the license back in his wallet. "Yeah, THIS one is fuckwit. The other one's a nice guy."
"For a son of a spoiler," I muttered. We leaned on the counter for a moment, staring at sleeping fuckwit. "What did you say to her?" I asked.
"What?"
"You said Mary feels safe around us. I told her I was going to smash this guy with a flyswatter the size of a car. What did you tell her?"
"Oh, nothing so dramatic," she waved it away. "Just a story. How I'd like to do it. Probably with the Queen's approval."
"Tell me," I said. "I mean, if it makes Mary feel safe around you…" That was all the convincing it took.
"Okay, you know that scene in all the movies where they have Gulliver tied to the beach?" She gestured, indicating bounds around the guy on the floor.
"Of course."
"Well, we do that in a stadium. Then we start a bonfire between his knees. A crack team of combat tailors remove his pants with chainsaws."
"Combat tailors. Interesting," I said. "Is he awake?"
"Oh! Good point! Maybe some drugs to heighten his awareness!" She started to pace. "Anyway, once he's uncovered, a cavalry unit ropes his dick and stretches it out over the bonfire." I listened raptly to the choreography for the next forty minutes. A few people came in, saw the three of us and went back out again. Sister Sarah looked us over, listened for a bit, then left. Oh, and she took a Godzilla movie out from under Barasano's ear.
Spooky had gotten as far as the archers when our Barasano arrived. "…and 98 archers enter the arena, with fire arrows and torches."
"Why 98?" I asked.
"The Queen's lucky number," she explained. "They form a circle around his head and-"
"Cop's here," I said softly. She turned to look. "And you told her this?"
"Oh, yeah. Some of it's her idea, some we worked out together." She smiled brightly.
I nodded. "Good. Detective Barasano! Is this an imposter or your brother?"
He stood in the doorway for a long moment, then he started to laugh. "Big bad homicide detective taken down by the guy from the video store. He'll never live this one down." He looked up at me. "No offense."
"None taken," I said. Part of the reason we created this cover was the low profile it held in the public's estimation.
"Who's this?" he nodded at Spooky.
"I'm the homeless girl that walked up behind him and he pulled a gun on," she said. "Peter was forced to act, to save me from this jerk's overreaction to finding out I was at his elbow." Not entirely true, the gun was never actually drawn. But Lilliputian tells are hard to see, apparently. Barasano accepted her story. He just laughed some more. Then he removed the restraints and lifted his brother into a sitting position.
"Dick!" he shouted. He tapped his cheek lightly.
"I certainly thought so," Spooky said.
"What?" he asked her.
"Well, he's a wife abuser!" she shouted. "That's a dick and a half!"
"We weren't admitting that we'd spoken with Mary," I said in a stage whisper.
"Is that what she's saying?" he asked both of us. "Is that why she ran away from him?" He slapped Dick's face, a little harder.
"Whoops," Spooky said happily. Dick started to wake up. Once he did, he started hollering about assault and battery and demanding his gun and… Oh, I don't know what all else.
Detective Barasano, William, finally got Detective Barasano, Richard, to shut up long enough to find out what was going on with Mary. "We'll get to the bit where a street kid and a video rental clerk kick your ass."
"Sales," I said. "Video sales."
"Sorry," Bill said. "Now tell me what you really know about Mary."
"Can he do that?" Spooky asked. "Shut up and talk?"
"He's a big city cop," I said. "I imagine-"
"MARY!" he interrupted.
"She says he abused her," Spooky said.
"She's lying," Dick said.
"She said, and I quote," and I did. I have a good memory, even of things that turn my stomach. We all do. Experts tell me that we're not a lot smarter than humans, despite the size of our brains. Ours are ordered to have a lot more memory, though. It makes sense, seeing how we live so much longer. So when I turned on the playback, I said everything she did, with her inflections, her pauses, her sobs and her accent.
The cops and Spooky stared at me as I performed the little recital. A few times, Bill reared back with a little shock. Sometimes he'd mutter, 'I remember that day.' Or that bruise, that trip to the ER. Everything was silent when I stopped. Bill finally asked, "Is she filing a complaint?"
"Are you FALLING for this?" his brother asked. "This isn't even Mary, it's some bozo saying Mary said… It's not admissible!"
"Fuck, Dick, that was Mary down to the bone." He shook his head. "So, is she filing?"
"No," I said. "She's…. " I had to pause.
Spooky rescued me. "We've accepted her appeal for asylum. She's on the way…somewhere. Somewhere she'll be safe."
"Okay," Dick said.
"Dick?" Bill asked, amazed, and not in a good way.
"I have a right to face my accusers. No testimony, no case. If she's off in some lesbian convent somewhere, I'll just go on living my life. No harm, no foul."
"Oh, there's something foul," Spooky said. "You're still in the room."
"You little…" Dick managed one step towards my partner in spying.
I grabbed him around the back of his throat and lifted him off the ground. "That looked like assault, Bill. Did it look to you like it was assault?"
"Not yet," he said softly, staring at the four inches between Dick's kicking feet and the floor. "But what you're doing to this police officer-"
"Not to a cop, no, Detective," Spooky said. "He's doing this to your little brother." Bill smiled briefly at that. Dick kicked out towards me. Spooky made a gesture, beckoning. I lowered him to the floor and pushed his neck down to where his face was across from hers.
"Listen, Dickhead, Mary is among people that believe her and respect her. Her marriage to you is regrettable, but not a problem in her new home. She's not going to prosecute you, but you WILL go home and pack up her things, nice and neat. No damages. No fires. No 'lost somewhere in transit.'
"Listen," he said, struggling to stand up. I made sure to shake my hand a bit, to look like it was a struggle, for Bill's sake. But he really wasn't going anywhere.
"Hey! Pay attention!" Spooky went on. "She's going to ask for some things. They will be delivered here, swiftly, without any breakage in transit. If you want to drive down here and hand them to Mr. Peter, that's fine.
"If anything is not delivered, or shows up broken, or torn, or SMUDGED or dusted with ITCHING POWDER or ANY GODDAMNED THING WRONG WITH IT, then I will find you. And I will tie you to the floor, and-"
"We don't have time for the full floor script," I said. "We will make you regret ever knowing Mary. Do you understand me?"
"BILL!" Dick screamed. "They're THREATENING me! You're my witness!"
"Me? Don't look at me. I've been going door to door doing you the favor of looking for your missing wife." He looked at his watch. "For the last half hour, I'm sure. I don't think I'm going to have much luck, though." He held out a hand. I gave him Dick's guns. He got his brother in a come-along and pushed him out the door.
"Come again!" I called, waving goodbye.
"Which one?" she asked.
"Either," I shrugged. "I could maybe like getting to know one of them. Or shipping one home in a diplomatic bag." I will admit that Brobdingrag only adopted the idea of equality of the sexes about the time that Atlantis sank. Once we did, though, it was sort of like when philosophy majors get together to smoke weed and consider philosophy.
When they sober up, nothing they wrote down on the big white board makes any sense at all. That's how a lot of our own history looks to us. What were we thinking…? And human history? We literally have to wonder, what were they ON?
I was musing over this as Barasano drove off and Spooky turned to face the air duct she'd come out of. "Feel better?"
"Oh, yes," Mary said. I walked over to stand under the vent and reached up. Mary jumped down into my palm. I put her on the counter between us. "But I got everything I cared about out of the house before I left," she said. "I don't want anything from him."
"Great," Spooky said. "Then he'll have those boxes piled up in the house for EVER. Always wondering when we're going to call and audit him."
"You are evil," I said, as a compliment. She bowed, then shrank down onto the counter to give Mary a hug.
"Okay, okay, okay," I said. "Looks like I have new roommates. One guest, and the Lilliput Agency. But first things first." I leaned down with my elbows on the counter, my chin in both hands. "So these archers have his head circled….?"
-----------------
I came back from the post office with the mail. I skipped up the steps to the dormitory to share the good news. "Look what we got!" I said, holding it out before me. There was not a lot of activity in the spare bedroom of my apartment. Not that I could see, anyway. The whole of the dorm was set inside the false wall built along one side of the room. From what I'd seen, there were seven floors and lots of long, narrow rooms. Mary stayed there, acclimating to life among the Lilliputians. Some of Spooky's people were here every night and most of them had a private room.
Some only spent the minimum amount of time there that Spooky would allow them, though. Every floor had blow-out panels ready and waiting for Mary to burst up into full human size. The panels made some of them nervous around her… Especially trying to get to sleep, hoping a giant wasn't going to grow up through your floor in the night.
A door opened in the wainscoting and Mary walked out.
"What do you have?" she called.
"Good news!" I knelt to show her the direct mail advertisement. "To our loyal customer," she read aloud. "In appreciation of your personal choice to patronize our business, we're inviting you to take advantage of our tire rotation special. Um, Peter?"
"Come on, I'll buy you breakfast," I said. I picked her up and carried her to the kitchen. She'd probably already eaten with the crew, but tiny metabolisms ate like hobbits. It was an hour before I opened the store, so it was time for second breakfast.
She tried to explain the advert as we went. "Peter, the advertisement is probably one sent out to four thousand people in this city. I hope you don't think you've formed some special connection with The Brake Castle."
I set her down and turned on the stove, which I started preheating. "Mary, I don't own a car."
"Still," she tried to explain, "you've gotten on some mailing list. You bought something at an auto parts store or… Or something. I used to get mail from a pet store and I'm allergic to everything people ever domesticated."
"Perfect," I said. I got four cans of breakfast roll dough out and greased two really big baking dishes. "You see it and you assume you know more about it than I do. Any surveillance will dismiss it, too."
"What surveillance?" She backed up as I opened the cans with little explosive pops. "And what do you mean dismiss it?"
"This is a letter from my bosses. I asked them to make an appointment for you with some of our experts. This is coded with permission to meet and the details."
"Oh," she said. I squeezed the topping across the dough and rolled it up. She seemed…subdued.
"Something wrong?"
"I, just… Well. Doctor Ebbeleta has looked me over. I was just… I'm not sure I want a giant doctor doing the same thing."
"There's an image," Spooky said, walking into the kitchen. She was at her extended size, the better to cross the vast distances of my hallway. "Lilliputians could stand inside a Brobdingrag wedding ring. And still have room for a funny hat." She took one of the finished rollups and started cutting it into pieces, placing them in one pan.
"That would be scary," I acknowledged. "But the doctors are all as small as me." I nobly ignored Mary's snort at the idea that I was a tiny little thing. "And I was going to invite Spooky to come along."
"How long until breakfast is ready?" she asked. I ostentatiously set the timer before her very eyes. She nodded. "We'll be ready by then." Then she walked back to the hall.
"What's there to get ready?" Mary called, but got no answer.
"She'll be out of communication for the time we're with my people," I said. "So she's giving marching orders to her many, tiny minions. Things to do, evil to foil, moral superiority to demonstrate, you know, spy stuff." She giggled and I carried her to the other counter where I made two pots of coffee.
"I… Peter, I hope this isn't a fuss. What you guys are doing for me."
"Mary, two of our top, top, cutting edge leading scientists in some of our most important fields of study have undergone the training for shrinking down to infiltrate human society. Not too deeply, of course, and they'll be escorted by Secure Force guards at all times. But then they’ve been shrunk and transported. And their necessary tools provided at this scale. And a cover developed."
Mary was looking very self-conscious and hunching her shoulders. I picked her up by the thighs, resting her butt on my finger like a canary. It was easier for her to avoid eye contact that way, if she wished. "Do not, however, think that any of this is for your sake as a person. They have a chance to see what happens to the first human ever to be shrunk by our process.
"You're one very special guinea pig to them and they can't wait to get your data into their computers." She gasped. "But Spooky and I will BOTH be there, to protect you, as a person."
"As our friend," Spooky said. I may never get used to her sudden appearances. She reached over my arm to stroke Mary's back.
"I was gonna say that," I growled. "Anyway, the expensive parts are the experts who are overjoyed at the opportunity. The 'being a burden' you're afraid of is not something friends worry about, okay?"
"Okay," she said softly. We discussed last night's movie some more. Mary was educating Spooky and me about artistic license. "So… General George Custer was not a lovable idiot?"
"No," Mary said. "They just made him look that way for the laughs."
"I didn't laugh," I pointed out.
"You never heard of The Little Bighorn," she replied.
"Funny place, the Little Bighorn?" I asked.
"Um… No. No, not at all."
"I don't understand this," Spooky said.
"Yet another in-joke," I sighed heavily. Mary grabbed the napkin holder to keep from being swept away by the wind.
The timer went off and I removed breakfast from the oven. Spooky and Mary each got a cinnamon roll on a plate. I took the rest.
I told them the drill for making contact. Mary asked if I really thought anyone had me under surveillance.
"Doesn't matter," I said.
"Can't make assumptions that make you less safe," Spooky told her.
Mary nodded, though she didn't look pleased. "Why can't you just drive?"
"Well, I don't have a car," I said. "Also, you don't really want me driving. I can handle the physical skills, but the reflexes…"
"Too slow?" Spooky asked.
"Not that. For me, the slightest pressure puts the gas or the brake pedals to the floor. And if someone dashes into traffic, I slam my foot on the brakes and shove the pedal completely through the floor. Then I'm Fred Flintstone." Spooky didn't catch the reference. Mary explained. The Lilliputian nodded, smiling slightly. She shrank down as I put on a jacket, then I put the two of them in an inner pocket.
A guy from the Lilliputian labor pool 'rose' to take my place behind the register. My first employee. Fred was quite excited about his I'M FRED name tag. Usually he just ran the surveillance cameras, today he was actually….UNDERCOVER. I told him not to report Sister Sarah as a shoplifter, then I walked to the bus stop and rode to the mall.
I wandered through a couple of stores, finally ending up at the Sears automotive waiting room. Just as I got there, the technician told Mr. Gladstone that his vehicle was ready. I followed Gladstone out into the garage and up into his motor home. Then we were off. I sat in the passenger seat in front. Once we were on the freeway, I turned the front panel of my jacket around so Mary and Spooky could see Gladstone. I kept one hand cupping the pocket they were in and one braced on the glove box.
Gladdiritell drove like I did. Meaning he used the gas and the break like I do, which has been referred to as 'binary.' We're accelerating or we're shrieking to a stop. No middle ground.
I introduced Glad to Mary and to Spooky. "Spooky?" he asked me. "We, uh, we didn't invite a Lilliputian presence…"
"Mary is under my protection," I said. "And my toothpaste shrank her. But she's applied for citizenship in Lilliput, and she's been accepted and if that's a problem let us out here."
"Oh, no, no," he said. Glad hated confrontation. That's why I usually led with it. "It's just a surprise, that's all."
"Sorry to trouble you," Spooky shouted. "But I did bring some gifts."
"Well, alright then," he said, deciding to take this as a good thing. We rocked on down the road.
There was a campground outside of town. Once the motor home was parked and the engine off and the parking brake on, I let the girls down out of my pocket.
Spooky was staying Mary's size to support her, though I didn't doubt she was ready to be hip deep in Glad's face if he looked at all like he was a threat.
For her part, Mary was unusually subdued. She's started to come out of her shell during the nightly discussions of plot and theme and why people date in montages and why aliens speak English in rooms with only aliens in them. She traded quips and insults and yelled at us to calm down when we watched the Thriller video and lost our minds in fear of grisly ghouls.
But now, though, she was getting close to figuring out her fate. It had been on indefinite hold for a while, today it was real again.
We set up the camp. Folding chairs and folding tables under the folding gazebo. I ripped the lid off a cooler before finding out that it didn't unfold into a fridge. We hid that and tried to make the place look homey.
******

The professionals showed up about noon. They walked in on a review of The Avengers. Glad and I were laughing at the incredible power and strength that The Hulk was supposed to have. Spooky was saying we had issues. Mary had walked into the little cardboard toilet I'd brought along, so the only little person they saw was shouting at the giants.
"He gets stronger when he's mad and he doesn't top off! If he's not strong enough to punch you into the sky, then the frustration of not being able to will make him stronger until- Oh. Hello."
Glad stepped over to the door. "Allow me to introduce Dr. Emily, our leading expert on human physiology. Emily being short for Emilskholav." The female doctor gave a short curtsy. Spooky nodded back.
"And Professor Debbrofen-"
"In human style, just call me Debbie," the man said brusquely. He was staring at Spooky like a cat who'd discovered the wheelchair ward of a mouse hospital.
"Debbie, here, invented our shrinking formula," I told Spooky. I got up to turn off the TV. Emily slid into my place at the table, hands out to block Spooky's exits.
"And I also," Debbie pointed out, "was rather vehemently against putting the formula in toothpaste. I TOLD you this would happen. Humans get into everything."
Spooky was keeping a wary eye on Emily's hands. But she responded to Debbie, asking, "And where did you want to put the formula?"
"In cigarettes. It'd take two tons of cigarettes to do us the same damage as one pack does to a human's lungs."
Emily was smiling encouragingly, trying to make eye contact. I realized she thought Spooky was her test subject and was treating her like a skittish lab rat. I also realized that Spooky was just about ready to draw a switchblade.
"Wait, don’t humans get into cigarettes, too?" she asked while backing away from Emily's smile.
"Well, we'd put warning labels on OUR cigarettes," Debbie explained.
"Oh, right," Spooky said derisively. "That'll work."
"Now I don't want you to worry, Mary," Emily told Spooky. "We're going to take very good care of you and then take you home very, very carefully."
"Take me? Fuck that! I'm staying here!"
"Oh, no, you'll be much better off with us," Emily said.
"All our lab gear is back in Lorbrulgrud," Debbie added. "We can accomplish nothing here." Glad had disappeared at some point. He had a sense for coming confrontations. Spooky was looking at me in appeal. Mary was clearly hiding in the bathroom until this was worked out.
"We promised Lilliput that we'd return the human to their custody," I said.
"Well," Debbie replied. "We'll just tell them Mary asked to come with us."
"That's not going to work," I said. "They'll ask to see her. And I don't like the risk to Mary."
"What risk?" Emily asked. "We'll be ever so careful."
"How much experience do you have handling someone half an inch tall? At current scales?" I asked. Spooky held her hands apart, showing how tall Mary would be among unadjusted giants.
"The data we can gain far outweighs the concerns of a human test subject's vertigo," Debbie said.
"Not to us," I replied.
"Yeah," Spooky agreed.
"Look, I don't know about her," Debbie told me, "but you take orders from the people that sent me here. And they say-"
"They say," Glad said loudly, coming back into the central area, "that we'll take measurements, and estimate the full effects, but we will be returning the test subject and her escorts to the video store."
"WHAT?" Emily, Debbie, and Spooky asked.
"I just told HQ," he said, waving his cell phone, "that the Lilliputians had inadvertently been afforded information about your plans for Mary- "
"HOW?" Debbie snarled.
Glad ignored the question for the moment. "They agree with me that the diplomatic consequences would be…bad." Spooky snorted.
"So, we'll stick to the plan we shared with Lilliput." He put his phone in his pocket. "If she still wants to go through with it," he said to me.
"Depends on Mary," I said. The experts looked to Spooky.
"I'd tell you all to go to Hell," she said. "But this is about Mary, so we'll let her decide. Mary? Wanna step out here, sweetheart?" She stepped out and ran to hold Spooky close. I leaned in to pick them both up and moved away from the scientists.
"What's going on here?" Emily demanded, now sounding as pompous as Debbie.
"We're going to find out just how long Mary's going to be the size of a Lilliputian, and see if there's any way to ease the affects," Glad said. "As agreed." He looked over at me. "I hate confrontations. But I hate wars so very much more."
They tried to offer apologies, to Spooky and to Mary. Mary just seemed scared. Spooky was pissed, but she accepted their regrets. I'm certain that was only for Mary's sake. The eyes remained teeny tiny needle-sharp daggers. Then Debbie started to explain what they were going to do, what measurements they wanted.
Spooky popped up to family-sized Spooky, which made Debbie flinch, and Emily jump back with a squeak of fear. Spooky's smile at their reaction was an evil thing. I am a well-trained professional at keeping secrets, so I did not applaud.
Then Spooky held out a memory stick. "My medical team has taken her blood pressure, respiration, pulse and I don't know what else since the day after she shrank. Last one was this morning." Debbie took the stick because Emily wasn't going to get within arm's reach of Spooky if she could help it.
"That's, uh, that'll help," he said. He was looking a question at her.
She shrugged. "I'm here to help Mary."
"Very well," he said. He started looking for a computer to plug the stick into. The back of the vehicle was configured as a lab. We all moved back there and made ourselves comfortable. For me and Glad that was leaning on either side of the doorway as far from the sciencey stuff as possible. Spooky carried Mary around, putting her down only for tests and always staying within a few inches of her.
Emily was impressed with the detail of the recordings in the file. Then she complained that the Lilliputians had not yet come across with medical information.
"So I don't know how much of this is from the drug-"
"Formula!" Debbie intoned.
"And how much is simply her body's reaction to being the size of, well, a Lilliputian."
Spooky pulled out another stick. "I also have two weeks of similar readings from the rest of my crew."
"Spooky," I started to caution her. I mean, if the diplomats were not handing this stuff over…
"It's okay," she told me, while holding Mary between us. "It's voluntary. Everyone wants to help. It's not like we're giving them a biology textbook. But they can have this information. Figure everyone owns their own pulse rate."
"Enlightened," Glad said. The conversation quickly left us behind. We amused ourselves by imagining going to war with Lilliput.
"If we ever find the Isles," I said, "we could wade ashore and stomp them flat."
"But until we did," Glad said, "it'd be like camping around ant hills."
"Red ants," I said.
"Armored red ants."
"Armed red ants with armor."
"Making them formal combat-ants."
"They'd get up your nose, and into your underwear, fighting and shooting and laying explosives."
"Not to mention, living off the land. Every platoon's cook carrying a box of forks and a chainsaw." Spooky ignored us. Mary giggled from time to time. They did ask her to pee in a thimble, and Spooky carried her to the privacy of the cardboard toilet. While she was in there, Spooky stepped close to us, smiling up from between our elbows. .
"You guys know about that fish in the Amazon? The one with spikes, that swims up your peepee and it takes surgery to remove it?"
"Yeah, we know about it," I said.
"So do all our Navy Divers," she said. She slipped off as we twisted uncomfortably. Then we moved on to another topic. Human cars, I think it was.
- 3
- 4
- 5
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

.Movies