Hook's Wendy | By : MarianTheBlackadder Category: M through R > Peter Pan > AU/AR Views: 4195 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Peter Pan, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
James stood outside on the upper deck alone, looking out over the water. It must have been close to two in the morning now. His arms were across his chest and he stood smoking out on deck, just starring off towards the horizon. He remained silent, smoking a cigar without the holder, which was something he had never done. However he had left his cabin so quickly there had not been time to attend to small details such as that.
Caitlin came out on deck, a blanket wrapped around her so she wouldn’t be indecent and slowly walked up to the second deck where James had been teaching her her lessons. Stopping at the top of the stairs she looked at him for a moment, seeing how tense he was. It had been hours since he left their cabin, and she had gotten a bit worried. Swallowing back the lump in her throat she took a few steps towards him, stopping behind him a ways.
Hook was lost deep inside of his thoughts and chewing on his cigar as if it were a way to relieve the stress he was feeling deep within. After a moment he could feel eyes on him and he turned back to see who it was. “Caitlin . . . what are you doing out here dressed like this? You shall catch your death.” He said throwing his cigar over the side and walking towards her pulling her blanket up to cover her shoulders.
Caitlin’s eyes remained on his even though he was refusing to look back into hers. “James, it’s been hours. Come back in side, you need rest.” She said softly. Hook gave a sigh pulling her blanket tightly around her.
“It is not rest, nor sleep I long for.” He said solemnly. Just a few hours ago, before he left his cabin, he had attempted to woo his wife, and found himself unsuccessful. It was as if she just shut down and shut him out and he found it difficult to stay within the cabin much less continuing on with his venture.
Cat looked down a moment feeling particularly guilty about how she had acted. She had to try to say something that would make him feel better about all of this, “I’ve been ill lately James, I’ve not been feeling myself. Mr. Smee brought the surgeon up to our cabin and stood by while the doctor said for me to rest and drink some water, and we would have to see what happened.” Her reason for telling him all of this was a vain hope deep inside that he would blame her inability to be intimate with him on her health.
“I know Caitlin. Smee told me when I boarded the ship this afternoon.” Hook’s words and answers were plain, simple and serious. He was really not in a conversational mood at the moment, and felt as if he would explode with all of the frustration that was boiling and brewing deep within his body. Giving a slight sigh he led her over to some of the supply boxes and sat her down before sitting beside her. Deciding if they were both not going to have enough sense to get in doors out of the night air, they might as well sit down.
Caitlin watched him another moment as he went silent again, just sitting beside her, not even trying to speak. “You’re upset with me . . . because of . . . what happened earlier.” She said turning her eyes away from him.
“There is nothing to be angry with you about. You have every right to feel the way you do.” Hook moved to sit behind her on the boxes, wrapping his bad arm around her chest pulling her back against him a bit as he rested his head on her shoulder just holding her tight.
“It’s not your fault James, really it’s not. It’s mine.” She whispered softly.
“Nonsense. Nothing that has happened to you since I brought you here has been your fault. You have been made to pay for every one of my sins, while I go untouched. You have suffered what should have been my pain to suffer, and it was as if all of Neverland wanted to devour you, and take you away from me.” He wrapped his good arm around her waist and closed his eyes. “You are my wife Caitlin, not my whore. You never should have been treated in such a way by anyone, much less myself.”
Caitlin shivered a bit at his words and closed her eyes whispering quickly, “James . . . you promised . . .”
“I know love,” He began, halting her words before she could go on. “Shhh, I know I gave you my word that we would never speak of it again.” He could feel the chill that ran down her spine at the mention of the past and pulled her a bit tighter into his embrace. “But we must . . . for when you looked at me tonight . . . I saw fear. Fear that this hand was reaching out to hurt you again. Fear that this, my cold Iron claw would be used as a tool to force you to submit and humiliate you as it had been used to do once before.”
Taking a breath he released her from his grip long enough to move back further, before pulling her against him once more yet this time he could look into her eyes. Reaching up, he pulled the cloth that she had been using to cover her hair still even though it had grown out to a decent length, a few inches more and it would touch her shoulders again as it once did. Slowly he ran his fingers through her strawberry blonde curls. “I do not wish for you to look at me like that Caitlin. I have seen that look in women’s eyes that I cared nothing for and some who deserved far worse then what they received. You are not like any of them, and I fail to see where you would be even considered in the same class as they are.” His fingers continued to caress her soft hair and warm skin, before his eyes turned upwards towards the sky.
“Do you see the stars my love. The way they shine down over the ship and island, and seem to make the sea water light up like there are diamonds below its surface, waiting to be plucked and carved into beautiful gems.” He looked back down at her, touching his fingertips to her cheek. “You should see how that same light from those stars, makes the sapphires in your eyes burn and come alive.”
Caitlin’s eyes shifted away from his for a moment. Her mind had been over rot with so many things lately. “James, I don’t understand so many things. I don’t mean about this strange land anymore, I’ve become accustom to most of it, and rarely anything surprises me anymore. What I mean is . . .” She stopped a moment before looking up at him once more. “Why did you choose me James? I couldn’t have been so much different then I am now when you asked my father for my hand, could I?”
This had not been a subject that had come up since before the mermaids had taken her away. He had promised himself that he would not lie to her again, yet what was he to do? Finally she had gotten to a point where she was not at odds with everything around her. If he was to tell her this, all she had come to believe as true would fall to pieces and they would be back at square one. “Caitlin… About that… I feel I should tell you…”
Cat wasn’t really listening to him as she sat up and turned towards him. “James you could have done so much better then me, I mean . . . you were wealthy at one time. Before turning pirate must have been when you decided to find a bride. Why did you choose me of all people when I’m so strange, and different?” Hook’s morality dilemma was forgotten as he heard her words as he leaned forward and carefully touched her.
“That is the very reason that I chose you. You are different from any other that has ever existed. None of those other so called, well-to-do, high society women were ever able to keep my attention much less capture my heart.” Why did she think so little of herself? She had mirrors; couldn’t she look into any one of them and see what he did? “I never wanted to settle down and take a wife before I met you. Then, just a short while after, I found I could not live with out you. I had to have you to be my wife, and I made arrangements as quickly as I could to make it so. I realize that perhaps it would have been best to . . . have given you the choice rather then taking it from you. But what is done is done. All I can do is try to make you see and understand why.”
Caitlin took a deep breath listening to his words. He had tried so many times to tell her what he was telling her now, and so many situations had come up that he repeated he cared for nothing else as long as they could be together and she was alright. Why she felt like she had to keep asking him over and over was unclear. Her eyes moved up to his face looking at him for several moments. James looked into her eyes, hoping that she understood what he had been saying and that she believed it.
Cat’s hand reached up slowly and touched one of his large gold hoop earrings. “Why do you wear these James?” She asked softly completely changing the subject, needing time for what he had just said to sink in a while before they spoke of it again. James decided conversing for a little was perhaps best, rather then rushing her with something she was obviously struggling with.
“They are more of a pirate tradition then anything else my love. You see, most pirates are not as wealthy as we are. As soon as any pirate has stolen enough, or earned enough coin, they put the whole of their savings into a pair of solid gold earrings such as these. It is done so that once they pass on, their funeral is paid for with the bobbles they purchase. It is sort of an. . . investment to see that they are insured a proper burial.” Caitlin frowned a little at his explanation.
“That’s awful. Is death all pirates think about?” James chuckled a bit and he reached for her hand and kissed her wrist looking into her eyes once more.
“That; and a great deal of other things. Wealth, as we all have a tendency to take every piece of treasure we . . . ‘happen’ across. Food, Supplies, and fresh water, which are essential to survival when one sails out to sea. Adventure is another craving that is actually a rarer occurrence then most would think. Or at least, it was for this crew at one time. Then we were brought to this place, where each day is an adventure whether we like it or not.” Pressing her hand against his cheek still looking into her eyes, “Things that are most commonly wished for are a home, some land or even a sailing vessel of some sort . . . and the love of a beautiful woman.”
Caitlin listened to him as he spoke to her, all of the kindness and patients in his voice seemed to calm her fears and warm her heart and she couldn’t look away from his gaze. She knew that this side of him was something only she had the privilege of seeing. James Hook made himself so vulnerable around her, allowing her to see him in such a state as he opened his very heart to her. Caitlin was never able to be angry at him when she saw him like this, she could never bring herself to treat him badly or to speak to him harshly when he looked at her in such a way.
“You shall never have to worry about things such as these Caitlin. You are not a pirate even though you are a pirate’s bride. You are a lady, to be respected and held in the highest regard. I will see to your every need for as long as you live. Anything you want or need I shall give it gladly, without hesitation. . . .” His words stopped when Caitlin reached up and gently rested her finger against his lips, for there was nothing else he had to say.
“James, from the first day I came aboard this ship you have treated me like a Queen. You still do so, even after all the trouble and strange things that have gone on. I haven’t been the best wife to you. I have caused you so much anguish with not being able to defend myself and not believing things that my own eyes saw.” Taking a breath she leaned forward resting her head against his shoulder curling up tight against him. “You can’t blame yourself for everything James, most of what happened is my fault. I’m stubborn, pig headed, and so set in things I know to be true and things I know to not be.”
They both fell silent for several moments before Cat turned her eyes up towards his once more. James looked into her eyes for a few moments, running his fingers through her hair once again before leaning down and kissing her tenderly. Unlike before, this time she returned his kiss. Both of them seemed so unhappy at times, like this one. Yet it was these few times after, when they found themselves being able to console and comfort the other with all the tenderness possible, wanting to ease each other’s suffering, and try to put an end to it, even if it was only for a short while.
“Capt’n.” A nervous voice said, not really wanting to disturb the Captain at this particular moment. James pulled back and looked up a darkened look crossing his face.
“I hope, that the ship is sinking, for that is the only reason I will not kill you for this intrusion.” Hook said through his teeth, still not looking up at the unhappy crewmen who had drawn the short straw.
“I’m sorry Capt’n. It’s the doc. He wants to see yer misses. He says he needs to see ‘er right away.”
“You may tell him that the temperature in Hades has not yet declined as far as that.” The pirate quickly turned and left anxious to get away from the scene. Caitlin looked up at James a moment.
“He must have decided on what it is that’s wrong with me. Maybe I should go see him James.” Hook sat her up as he moved to stand, before reaching down and pulling her to her feet.
“You go back to our cabin, and I shall go and see the reason for his rather foolish request.” He kissed her forehead before readjusting her blanket about her. “Go on, I shall join you shortly.” Caitlin nodded and began walking back to their cabin as James had directed her. Once he was certain she was gone, he headed down below decks having every intention of giving that horrendous idiot an ear full for interrupting them.
Liam quickly stood as he heard the door opening, expecting to see Caitlin standing there. Yet it was her husband instead with a rather annoyed look on his face. “My dear doctor, would you care to tell me what is so important that you decided to disturb us at this late hour.” Hook asked, letting him know that he most certainly disturbed them. “Speak quickly for it may be the last utterance that ever passes over your deceitful tongue.”
“I asked to see yer Misses.” Liam said defiantly as if it was the Captain intruding and not himself. James eyes flashed but he forced his temper to cool as he decided it was time to explain something to him that he didn’t seem to understand.
“You shall never be permitted to see her alone again. So anything that you think you need to tell her will be said in front of me. So you might as well simply express what you have to say at this moment.” Liam just stood there silently as he looked away from James. Hook just gave a bored sigh, “So be it. You can stay here in your quarters and rot for all the concern I give you.” James turned and started to leave the room.
“Did ye ever tell her.” Liam stated plainly not looking directly at Hook. James stopped and spun back around looking at him.
“I beg your pardon!” Hook exclaimed. This was not to be allowed to continue, just one bad apple could spoil the whole bunch and he had not had to kill someone for along time.
Liam’s eyes turned and he looked at the Captain, “Did ye tell her.” James just looked at him darkly. “Ye never told her did ye? Ye just let her go on believin’ she didn’t have the same abilities as every other woman.” James walked up to him looking down into his eyes, pressing his hook against the Doc’s belly.
“You have spoken out of place more then once, and it is time that it comes to an end. The grace you have been given has only been because of my wife, and even that is not going to be enough to save you. You should have been dead months ago and I will not tolerate your insubordinate tongue any longer!!”
“I’m not the one who has to explain to her that she’s pregnant Capt’n! It was yer doin’ and it’s what ye have to deal with!!!” He said as he could feel the iron claw digging hard into his skin.
James paused for only a moment hearing this, and then the thought crossed his mind this was just a scam to get out of punishment that was long over due. “You lie.” He spat through his teeth as he began pressing his sharp iron appendage further into the doc’s gut.
“I have no call to lie Capt’n! And whether you believe me or not, it’s true! She is very much with child.” James looked into the Doctor’s eyes a moment longer. It was true. He could see it in the man’s eyes, for he was less then thrilled about the prospect and there was a sort of anger that she was indeed with child. His mind flooded with a volume of things, and then all at once he brought his hook up from Liam’s gut and hit him hard across the face with the hard wood and steel bade of it. The doctor fell to the floor unconscious and James quickly exited the infirmary, stopping at the door trying to process what he had just learned, before continuing to make his way to the deck.
What was he to do with this? It could not be true. This was Neverland; such things could not come about, could they? A child? One that perhaps could turn out like the other wretched children that inhabited this cursed place? No, it could not be so. He would simply not allow it! . . . .but how could he stop it. It was already done.
James walked up to the railing looking down in the water. The faces that were normally there were there no longer, for the mermaids in all of their pure evil and mysterious ways had learned to fear the ship when their sisters had been captured; tortured and devoured by those aboard. It was a shock inside another.
He never wanted children and he had far beyond grown to despise them! Now to have one always about, never to be gotten rid of, living with him in his own cabin!! NO! It would whine, cry, need to be fed, need to be watched over constantly. There would never be a moments rest. Then when it became older and more mature . . . . it could be just like Pan. How could this have happened! He had been so careful, so extremely . . . . but there was only one instance this could have come about. They had hardly been intimate at all surrounding the one occurrence. She had been through so much and had been taken ill for so long he did not think she was up to it, and had not tried to impose himself on her.
A child . . . This was Neverland. How would it be born? Would it age? Of course it would not, this was Neverland and no human aged here. Would it even be human? This world might make it into something else since it was conceived here. How was it even conceived in the first place?
Looking upwards towards the stars he couldn’t figure out how exactly he was going to deal with this. He had no desire for children, and he detested them completely. Hook failed to see why this one would be different from any other. And what of Caitlin? She most certainly did not feel the same way, and once she saw it she would never want to part with it. Then once again her attentions would be divided from him on a more permanent basis. He reached up rubbing his eyes with his hand. This was far too much to take in and deal with at this particular time.
Once, while he was still in England, he recalled some of the lesser virtuous women in the court who desired to explore other lovers than their husbands when they had been away for long periods of time. Having found themselves in such a compromising situation, taking a mixture of herbs and spices had removed the problem from their bodies; thus keeping their secret hidden and the child never coming into true existence. His brow rose slightly that he remembered such a strange and obscure bit of information from his past.
A . . . . . child.
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