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In Deep Fudge	By : Lulu Category: A through F > Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Views: 3394 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter Five: In Search of a “Badass”

The great glass elevator returned Willy Wonka to his office. He spoke briefly to Doris, his Oompa Loompa receptionist and asked her to speak with the other Oompa Loompas before trudging inside.
Willy dearly loved his large comfortable office. It was marvelously plush with rich jewel-toned carpets covering beautiful marble-tiled floors, mahogany paneled walls and dark purple velvet upholstered furniture. The enormous desk, where Willy did much of his business, was an antique from the orient. It was crafted of ornately carved teak and was filled with secret compartments, some of which Willy himself, had yet to find. The walls were lined with built-in bookcases overflowing with books on every subject from the history of the peanut to Shakespeare.
This room was usually a sanctuary for him but, he felt no comfort there today Willy flopped down in the large black leather wing back chair behind his desk, took a deep breath and dropped his head into his hands. “You know, this really hasn’t been a very nice day.” Willy laughed to himself miserably. I think I actually need a drink.”
From an inner pocket of his coat, Willy pulled out the magazine his father had given him. “Desperate times call for desperate measures.” The candy-maker began flipping through the pages, until he reached the section advertising services. He scanned the pages, completely clueless as to what he was looking for. At last, an ad caught his eye (it was the most colorful and used large eye-catching print) :

Experienced mercenary for hire (reasonable rates)
Ex-Army Special Forces, expert in weaponry, hand to hand combat and covert operations - with emphasis on search and DESTROY
Dedicated to fighting oppression and injustice with extreme prejudice
Guaranteed results
Call: 555-5555 (preferably after 1700 hours)

“Sounds impressive, anyway,“ thought Willy, with visions of an Arnold Schwarzenegger-type entering his mind. “O.K., here goes nothing,” thought Willy as he dialed the number. The phone rang twice and was answered abruptly by a gruff male voice.
“ Yes.” growled a voice at the other end of the line.
“Uhm, yes hello. Is this the ‘experienced mercenary’ advertised in soldier of fortune?” asked Willy Wonka, his mouth getting drier with each word.
“Bingo, ace. What can I do for you? And, make a long story short. .” Demanded the voice on the phone.
“Well, where to begin? My name is Willy Wonka. I am a well-known and, may I say, very successful candy-maker. The problem is that I have been receiving threatening letters for about two months and then during the last few weeks….” Willy began before he was quickly interrupted.
“Yeah, yeah, skip to the punch, buddy. Time is a valuable commodity.” Interjected the ‘mercenary.’
“Heavens, keep your pants on. I’m doing my best. I’ve had a rather challenging day after all. The writer of these vicious letters has obviously lost what few marbles they have left. The result being that my young heir and I were shot at. We are lucky to be alive. The police are doing their best but, the haven’t been much help. I need help. I need protection. And I need advice. There, is that enough punch?”
There was a long pause, and Willy began to wonder if the man was still on the line.
“Hello?” tried Willy.
“Wow, are you really Willy Wonka? Man I love your candy. You are a freakin’ genius.” Gushed the mercenary.
“Oh, why thank you! I take great pride in…wait a minute.” Willy stopped and tried to refocus (the flattery had distracted him for a moment). “You did hear my problem, didn’t you? Are you or aren’t you able to help me? And I don‘t believe I caught your name.”
“Listen, man my name‘s not important. I know about your situation. I’ve been reading what little has been reported in the papers. And after what happened today, it sounds to me like you’re in serious shit.” Offered the voice.
“No, really?’” thought Willy. “I am aware of my situation.”
“I have to be honest here and tell you, Mr. Wonka, that I think you really need a professional.”
“I thought I was talking to a professional. Your ad did state: experienced mercenary for hire.” replied Willy irritably.
“I know what my ad said. I do have experience, but for your situation…Well, let me put it this way: you need a serious ‘badass’.”
Willy’s eyes grew large, and he mouthed the word “badass“ with amazement.
“Look, I know someone. This person doesn’t usually do this kinda thing, however, they might make an exception in this case. Especially, since there is a kid involved. I need to warn you though; this person is the real deal. They may not be willing to help. I don’t know. I do know, that if they agree to help, jump at it, man!
“Please, let me have the number.” Willy said, suddenly feeling sure this was the help he had been looking for.
“Mr. Wonka, let me call first, to see if the party in question is willing. If they are, then I will have this person call you. If I give you the number without permission, I’ll have my own problems to deal with.”
“Very well.” Willy replied, disappointed, “But, time is of the essence. I must have an answer today!”
“I understand. I‘ll do what I can. Believe me when I say, I‘m a big fan, and I really want to help you.” replied the voice on the other line.
Willy gave him his private number and waited. He got up and paced and, he waited. He really hated waiting, always had. He tried getting a little work done but he couldn’t concentrate. He was about to head down to the inventing room, when the phone rang. Willy dove at it.
“This is Willy Wonka.” He said hesitantly and rather loudly.
“I’ve been told you need some help.” Offered the voice.
“Yes, yes as soon as possible.” He couldn’t keep the desperation from his voice.
“The situation has been explained to me. I understand things have escalated to a dangerous level. I can be there day after tomorrow, on Thursday. If you’re agreeable, I can meet with you at 10:00 a.m. on that day to discuss the specifics.”
“That would be spectacular! I can tell you how happy I am. There will be someone to meet you at the gates at 10:00, as you specified. I can arrange transportation for you, however.” stammered Willy.
“That won’t be necessary, Mr. Wonka. I’ll see you on Thursday.” With that, the line went silent.
Willy sat holding the phone for a minute, his brain working furiously. Was that a woman’s voice?
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In Deep Fudge