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Trust Me	By : MrsJasperHale Category: Twilight Series > Het > Bella/Edward Views: 8599 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

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A/N Okay so I got a request asking for Edwards POV and I thought "Why not have Edwards POV of the infamous 'morning after'?" So I did... here it is... hope you like it. I know I'm sorry there isn't any sex in this chapter or probs the next chapter coz if I was Bella I wouldn't be sleeping with his ass just yet... but there most def will be sex after that! WOOP WOOP Can't wait to write that! I know I can write quite a bit without sex but that's just because I'm not a sex-deprived maniac who must force every fictional character to fornicate at least 12 times per chapter!
lol thank you for the reviews really they mean the WORLD. Please keep those reviews coming as they are the blood for my inner vampire (wtf?)
ILY all

ENJOY!!!!
~MrsJasperHale

*~*~*~*

I couldn’t stand to be near her anymore. I couldn’t bring myself to look at her tear-streaked face one more time as she pleaded with me not to leave. The sensitive part of my brain was telling me to obey her, to curl up next to her and rock her to sleep while humming her lullaby softly in her ear... but the responsible side told me to leave. I didn’t know if I would be able to touch her without losing control again. And I couldn’t risk my beautiful Bella’s life like that again.

So I did the most selfish thing I could have done in the circumstances. I left her, without as much as a goodbye. I felt like a common criminal – taking what he wanted and leaving his mess behind to pick up the pieces. I certainly didn’t feel deserving of anybody’s love, let alone a love so bottomless like Bella’s. I knew that I had destroyed the part of her that trusted me to protect her. And I knew that if I did travel to Italy to end this miserable excuse of an existence, it would only hurt her more.

She didn’t want me to hurt myself for hurting her. She was too caring for her own good. And she still wanted me. After all I had put her through, she still believed in me. I could feel it in the air as I made my escape.

These thoughts and more were what plagued my mind on the drive back to my house. I pondered whether I should drive off into a field – to pull myself together before making an appearance at home. I didn’t want to appear as messed up as I was. But having Alice in the family made it difficult to go anywhere without being worried about. I wondered if she had seen what I had done to Bella in her mind. I wondered if she was waiting for my return home at this moment. And, most importantly, I wondered if she had told anyone else.

She was still out of my reading range, so I couldn’t ask her myself. I decided to finish the trip home and confront whatever was waiting for me on the other side of the huge white door.

It turns out I didn’t even have to get out of the car as Alice was already sitting cross-legged on the top of the letterbox, obviously awaiting my return.

“Is she okay?” was the first thing that came out of her mouth. She had an intense look of concern on her face, and it was only intensified by the flashing of her still-black eyes.

“I... don’t know. I just left. I couldn’t take it, Alice,” I croaked as I slid from the car and slammed the door shut so hard I felt the car tremble. Alice jumped off the letterbox and marched right up to me. Her head was a few inches short of my shoulder, but the death-glare she was giving me made it obvious that ripping my head off right now was a possibility in her mind. Not that I cared much, I thought. I probably wouldn’t even bother fighting her off.

“You better have some hell of an explanation, Edward! You can’t do that to my best friend and walk away like that! How dare you desert her!” she exclaimed, taking me by the forearms and shaking me slightly. I couldn’t say much to that. I just let her lecture me, not really hearing the words but thinking about Bella. How her moans of pleasure turned into cries of pain within seconds. I hung my head, and Alice must have assumed this meant I was listening to her.

“Alice, stop it. He’s not listening anyway,” came a voice from the doorway. It was Carlisle, with Esme at his side. The look on his face was thunderous. So Alice had blabbed it to the family.

“Come in, Edward,” he said solemnly, stepping back so that Alice could dart inside before me.

“I’m sorry, Carlisle,” I said softly.

“I said come in,” he replied coldly. I obediently stepped into the entrance hall. The house was silent which was unusual to say the least. Emmett was almost always upstairs with Rosalie, and Alice was more often than not playing some sort of music channel on the TV. There wasn’t even the smell of Esme cooking the food that nobody would eat.
But today Emmett was sitting on the couch in front of a blank TV screen, and Rosalie was lying next to him, with her head on his lap. Alice had taken a seat on one of the stools in the kitchen and Esme had flittered over to join her. Jasper was sitting on the bottom stair of the staircase, his head in his hands and I saw Alice cast him a quick sympathetic look. Everybody was staring at me, too.

Carlisle pulled me aside into his office.

“We need to talk, Edward. Sit, please,” he said as he took a seat himself behind his huge mahogany desk. I seated myself nervously on one of the armchairs and let my fingers sink into the soft fabric. I wanted to claw it off, but I knew that Carlisle might not take to me damaging two very important things in one day.
Carlisle didn’t waste much time with the niceties – which was a difference for him. He was usually one for small talk, to ease people into a sense of security. But with me, it was different.

“This family is... upset with you to say the least. Poor Alice was plagued by those visions of you, and Jasper has been working overtime to keep everyone at a bearable state of calm. Not to mention Rose. She’s distraught that her brother did something like this. We all know it’s not your fault, Edward, but Rose is taking it quite hard as you can imagine. It’s a re-enactment of her own life playing out before her eyes, really. I know you get the impression that she doesn’t like Bella, but she really does care.”

I didn’t say anything. Once again, speech failed me. Carlisle lapsed into an uncomfortable silence, his hands folded on the desk in front of him like he was the principal of a school and I was the ridiculously naughty student about to be expelled.

He seemed to guess that I wouldn’t say anything, so he continued.

“I... I know that it must have been hard for you. And I know that what you’re feeling now must be a cross between suicidal and psycho, am I right?” he asked, tilting his head to the side ever so slightly.

“It was... so hard,” I agreed through gritted teeth. “And I understand. I’ve always understood. But I can’t wipe the image of her face – her tears – as I...”
Carlisle suddenly stood up, obviously stating that this conversation had finished.

“Let’s go back out there. I think some people want to talk to you,” he said curtly.
I couldn’t help but be stunned as his standoffishness towards me. I had always been the closest to Carlisle, except maybe for Esme, and I wondered in the back of my mind if he was ever going to trust me again. This thought frightened me. If I didn’t have Carlisle’s trust, I most certainly didn’t have it from the rest of my family. I slowly trudged back out into the living room with Carlisle, not too surprised to notice that the atmosphere hadn’t changed a bit. Everybody was still in their previous positions, unmoving and unchanging. Very vampirish of them.

“Esme has something she wants to say,” Carlisle suddenly announced. His face was still expressionless, and I knew that he had asked Esme to do the talking because he wasn’t sure he could keep calm enough.

Esme gave a small smile to everyone in the room as she stood up, but her speech was directed at me, of course.

“Edward, we know what you did last night was wrong. And we know that you must regret it with every fibre of your existence, right?”

“Of course, Esme! I love her! I never-”

“Hush! I know that you love her, Edward. I never – we never doubted that,” she said, gesturing to all the other family members in the room who gave a nod of agreement.

“But... we think that maybe one of us should go and talk to her. Just to reassure her that she isn’t deserted – and that we love her still. And, of course, that you’re incredibly sorry and regretful. Leaving her like that wasn’t the best idea. She feel terrible to say the least. I only hope she doesn’t do something – drastic...” she trailed off, looking at me meaningfully.

“Well, you know me! Always up for some girly chatter!” Emmett grinned, but that expression was wiped off of his face when Rosalie slapped him.

“Rose!” he exclaimed grumpily, rubbing his face dramatically.

“This isn’t a joke, Em,” she replied coldly, pulling herself upright and crossing her arms.

Esme laughed quietly at this.

“Thank you for your offer, Emmett, but since I have to hunt with Carlisle tonight I was thinking that Alice might be able to do it,” she said hopefully, looking at Alice. But Alice’s expression did not match the expression on Esme’s.

“I can’t go tonight. I’m sorry guys. It’s just that Edward was in such a rush the other night I didn’t really get to feed properly.” She seemed almost embarrass to admit this.

“I’m too hungry to concentrate much on anything but the thirst. Plus I don’t think she’d like to see a black-eyed vampire in her room... again,” she added.
There was silence for a minute while everyone tried not to think about the only woman left in the household.

“I’ll do it,” came a voice. It was so quiet even I had to strain to hear it. It came from Rose. She had folded her legs tightly underneath her now, and her gaze was focused on the white carpet as if she was examining it for dust particles.
The tension in the room lightened just a little, but Emmett stepped in.

“No, Rose. You shouldn’t get all worked up about this sort of thing again. You’ve been through this enough-” he said.

“I want to help, Em! I haven’t been very nice to Bella and... well maybe this is our chance to bond! I can relate to this, I can talk to her, I can explain better than all of you!” she wailed. I knew that she was working herself up into a nervous breakdown, so I put a stop to it.

“No, Rose. I won’t be responsible for another killing spree!” I teased. She glowered at me, although it did tempt a small chuckle from the rest of us.

“Let me, Edward,” said Jasper. “Carlisle’s been training me in the hospital, anyway. And I can... ease any hard feelings she may have towards you as well. No one else will do it, so...” he trailed off, standing up and walking smoothly over to Alice’s side. She seemed to agree with him, as she suddenly beamed.

“Of course, Jasper! That’s fine, isn’t it Esme?” she squealed in her high-pitched voice.

“I’m sure it is. Bella might feel more comfortable with you than Emmett,” she added, giving Emmett a disapproving look.

Emmett just grinned widely. “I don’t have a way with words, do I?” he asked, suddenly pretending to be hurt by Esme’s statement. Esme just grimaced and walked into the front room of the house with Carlisle on her tail.

Rosalie suddenly turned her attentions to me, stalking over to me where I stood in my corner, hands bunched into first. Emmett left the room, saying something about fetching a book for me from his room while Alice and Jasper disappeared upstairs hand in hand, smiling goofily at each other. I knew better than anyone that they were more likely disappearing upstairs to plan Jasper’s conversation with Bella than to engage in wild vampire sex, which seemed to be the only reason Rosalie and Emmett went upstairs together for. Alice and Jasper were a lot more controlled then that. Although sex played a big part in their relationship, it wasn’t the be-all and end-all of their existence. Like my relationship with Bella, I thought. Well, before last night, that was for sure. I wasn’t even sure there was a relationship left now.

My attention was brought back to the present when Rosalie snapped her fingers impatiently in front of my face. I winced, before realising that she wasn’t here to lecture me of argue about why she couldn’t pay Bella a visit – she was here to comfort her brother in his time of need. I had never known a Rosalie like that, so her action surprised me. Especially when she slid down on the floor next to me, looking at up me as if she expected me to sit too. I knew better than to get on the bad side of this once-in-a-blue-moon Rosalie so I joined her on the floor, resting my face on my fists as
I stared blankly ahead of me.

Both of us sat there in companionable silence for a while. Nobody needed to say anything. I couldn’t help but make a quick assessment of her mind and it wasn’t too surprising to see that she wasn’t thinking about me, or Bella – she was thinking about herself. I know that it might sound like the vain old Rosalie was back, but the images she was seeing in her mind weren’t ones of her showing off her beautiful golden hair and her model-like figure.

She had wound the clocks back to many years ago, playing a video in her mind that had haunted her for decades. I watched it with her, and she was aware I was doing so, I suspected.

She was leaving a friend’s house. A friend with a loving husband and a beautiful baby that entranced her. I saw her leave the house, walking down the lane. I could see the group of men on the street corner, clowning around, drunk and impatient.

I had heard this story, and seen this video before. It was the night of her changing. And it was the worst possible way to go, in my opinion. I unwillingly watched the video unfold, too engrossed to pull away. I heard the taunts, the catcalls, the thuds, the screams and the laughter that followed. I could hear Rosalie’s then-beating heart pummelling as she tried to escape – tried to live.

And then, as I heard the beating heart fade and the sound of footsteps retreating quickly before being replaced by a single set of footprints, and the sound of Carlisle’s voice in the distance – coming closer, Rosalie took my hand in hers. I had never had much contact with my sister before.

But as she squeezed my hand quite painfully hard, I felt like she was telling me what to do. I had to trust myself. I had to believe that I could do this – that I could face Bella.

Try as she might, she couldn’t convince me.

I only hoped Jasper would be able to try. And I only hoped that the next time I saw her she wouldn’t run away from me.

*~*~*~*

That afternoon I wrote her a letter. I needed to get to her one way or another, and I was sure that Jasper would deliver it if I asked him too. I poured all my deepest regrets, all of my thoughts and all of my love into this letter, hoping all along that it would be enough for her. Enough to want to see me again, without feeling terribly overpowered.

Jasper descended the stairs, a notebook in his hand. I guessed so that he could make notes for Carlisle’s sake. Alice was already sitting at my feet, working on a puzzle with Rosalie who was at times so distracted that she was wringing her hands too intently to pick up a puzzle piece. I knew that Alice was trying to distract everyone’s attention from the issue at hand but nobody was interested.

When she saw Jasper enter the room her whole face lit up and she quickly excused herself and danced over to him, clasping his hands in hers as they began conversing in low barely-audible whispers. I knew that she was talking about the letter which she had seen me writing. I self-consciously cleared my throat and sealed the letter in an envelope. Of all people in this family who I could trust to not sneak a peek at the letter, Jasper was my number one. He glanced at me and I waved him over.

“I promise I’ll give it to her, Edward,” he said, taking the envelope from my hand and tucking it into his jacket pocket. Carlisle called his name, and he promptly disappeared into the front room. Alice remained, taking a seat next to me and laying her head on my shoulder.

“It’ll all work out eventually, Eddie,” she murmured. I wanted to believe her, but I couldn’t. I saw Rosalie incline her head towards us, although she was still bent over the incomplete puzzle.

“I hope so,” I heard her think to herself.
Jasper suddenly reappeared from the front room, car keys in hand, and headed for the door.

“Jasper! Let me know how she is, okay?” I called to him. I saw him shake his head ever so slightly before he disappeared out of the door and into the rapidly descending twilight.

*~*~*~*

A/N Oo-er reviews please :) Hope you enjoyed it...
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Trust Me