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Politics Suck	By : CatDeChanis Category: Anita Blake > Crossovers > AB/BtVS Views: 7458 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own BTVS or Anita Blake; Joss Whedon and the author of the Anita books make the money, not me.

Chapter List
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Warnings: SLASH. Also known as GUY-ON-GUY sex and WOMAN-ON-WOMAN sex. I don’t know how much plainer I can make it, and this warning will remain for the entire story, just to be safe. Eh, mentions of past abuse and general foul language. The warnings will change for each chapter – it depends on who I’m writing about. After all *authoress pauses to smirk and lick her lips* does anyone think sex with Asher would be very vanilla? Spoilers for “Blood Noir” throughout the rest of the story, so if you haven’t read that yet, you may want to before proceeding – otherwise, A LOT of the men’s interactions with Jean Claude aren’t going to make sense.

Chapter 5: The Scoobies Get A Date

Mira tilted her head a bit, looking at the beautiful long-haired wereleopard.

Xander spotted the look of curiosity on her face, and groaned silently, recognizing that look all too well. It was the same look Mira had worn when she first met Spike, and it was that look that led to her latching onto the punk vampire and making him an irrevocable part of her chosen family.

“Mira, princess, so is this the bed you want me to get?” he asked hastily, trying to distract her.

She smiled up at him. “Yeppers!” she said enthusiastically, making him grin.

“I’ll take care of it,” Willow volunteered.

“I want the matching nightstand, too,” Xander told her.

“Got it.” Willow glanced toward the shifters, vampires, and Anita. “Nice to meet you all,” she chirped before walking off to find a salesman.

“So you just moved here?” Jason asked, breaking the awkward silence that followed.

“Literally today,” Dawn said easily. “Our apartment has this REALLY nasty-looking couch, curtains that match the icky couch, and nothing else. Sooo…here we are,” she finished with a shrug.

“You can afford to buy that much furniture all at once?” Anita asked suspiciously, Willow’s power having put her on edge.

Xander regarded her with a frown. “How is that any of your business?”

“I’m a Federal Marshal and a Vampire Executioner,” Anita said sharply, and the two Scoobies heard the capital letters. “Not to mention the fact that I have ties – strong ones – to almost every powerful preternatural group in St. Louis. With the power your ‘Willow’ was leaking, I’ll make you my business if I want to. There are too many preternatural creatures under my protection for me to do otherwise.”

*Ma petite! Do not antagonize them so! The witch and the child could be of value to us.* Jean Claude hissed at her through the telepathic link their bond allowed them. Anita closed off her side of the bond in response. She wasn’t interested in dancing around at the moment with Jean Claude’s blasted politics. They were just kids. She was hoping they’d understand she was deadly serious and not cause any trouble out of respect for the law. She ignored the little voice in the back of her mind that sounded suspiciously like Zerbrowski asking when the hell THAT had ever happened.

Xander, surprisingly – to the vampires and shifters – did not take offense. Instead, he nodded thoughtfully, and said, “Fair enough.” He then further surprised them by asking, “Are there any places in the city where magic is strictly forbidden? We don’t want to piss off the locals, but Wills uses her power almost constantly. It tends to…err, spill over more than you noticed just now if she doesn’t.”

Anita’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean by ‘use’?”

Xander blinked at her. “Err, transportation if there’s traffic, cleaning spells if her clothes or ours get dirty, basic wards of protection around all of us constantly, just…normal stuff. She doesn’t use her magic on humans or other preternatural creatures unless its self-defense – her beliefs won’t allow it.” Xander didn’t think it was prudent to mention the time Willow nearly took over the world, or the time she turned a bunch of US Army officers into rats for a week, or the soul-melding spell she’d used to fuse Angel’s soul and demon together, or…

Anita interrupted what would have been a very long mental list. “I don’t know where the hell you guys came from, but she can’t do ANY of that stuff here – not if it’s noticeable to the normals,” she said sharply. “She’d cause a riot. There’s too many people who are fearful enough of the preternatural community. Where DO you come from that you call all that ‘normal’? I’ve never heard of a witch that powerful that she could waste her magic on basic things like that.”

Xander looked at Dawn. She answered, “It’s a very small little town in California. All of the people there were used to Willow’s magic – or they ignored its existence.”

Anita’s eyes narrowed further, and she opened her mouth to further question them when the new wereleopard interrupted her. “Perhaps we should tell them about the hotline, Anita.”

“Hotline?” Xander asked curiously.

“I’m Nimir Raj for the wereleopards of St. Louis,” the short man said mildly. “Do you know what that means?”

“You’re the leader, not just by consensus but by right of power,” Dawn said quietly, making eyebrows lift among the St. Louis natives.

“You’re right. I also run a hotline for all of the shifters in St. Louis. It’s for emergencies – if a shifter feels like they’re going to lose control, or they run into trouble or something, they can call the hotline, and whoever’s on duty on the other end will come and get them.”

“Sounds like a really useful organization,” Xander said approvingly.

“It is – and we’re always looking for more help.”

Xander exchanged another look with Dawn. She nodded, and Xander said, “We’ll give you our telephone number as soon as we have a phone hooked up, and you can add it to the hotline’s contact list if you want. Willow can probably give you a hand a lot. Me and her are mostly at loose ends right now; Dawnie’s the one still going to school.”

Anita relaxed at Xander’s calm response, and Jason asked curiously, “Where are you going?”

“University of St. Louis,” Dawn answered. “I’m getting my Masters.”

Anita raised her eyebrows. The kid didn’t look old enough to have a degree. “What are you getting it in?”

“Ancient languages,” was Dawn surprising answer.

When the St. Louis natives stared, Xander explained, “Dawn’s a nerd. She actually LIKES doing research and stuff like looking through moldy old books with so much dust on them that they actually give you a cold.”

Dawn rolled her eyes at his aggrieved tone. “I TOLD you not to breathe in too heavily, but nooo…” Seeing the curious looks on the others faces, she said, “He actually did catch a cold helping me haul some old texts for my senior thesis. He hasn’t let me forget it since.”

Jason snickered, leaning forward, his eyes bright with interest on the teen. “So, how old are you exactly?”

Mira gave the werewolf a disapproving look. “You’re not apposed ta ask ladies dat,” she scolded.

The silent blond vampire who had watched all of the past proceedings finally stirred. “Indeed, mon loupe. I do believe Anita should consider going through with her threat after all. That was most rude.”

Seeing the panicked look on the werewolf’s face, Dawn said in amusement, “I thank you for the courtesy, monsieur, but I wasn’t insulted – I get asked that too often on the college campuses I visit. I’m nineteen. And I am curious to know what Marshal Blake’s threat was.”

“It’s not appropriate for a child’s ears,” Jason said in a prim tone.

Dawn smirked outright. “And it’s really embarrassing.”

The werewolf sighed. “True.” The rest of those gathered snickered.

Xander, bored with sitting around, poked Mira in the side. She wrinkled her nose at him and said indignantly, “You pokeded me.”

“Oops,” Xander said in an utterly unrepentant tone. “Didja pick YOUR bedroom stuff out Mira, or have you been too busy helping me?” he drawled.

Mira’s lower lip stuck out in a pout. “Wanna sleep wi’ YOU, Unca’ Xan.”

Xander groaned loudly. “Agh, not the puppy eyes! Back evil one, back I say!” he exclaimed, tossing her onto the bed beside her and making her giggle loudly.

“PEASE?” she asked, her pleading look growing even more cute if it was possible.

Xander clamped both hands over his eye. “Nooooo, must not look, must not look,” he chanted.

Dawn, laughing under her breath, saved him. “Mira, princess, I found a little bed just for you with stars and moons on the bedspread.”

The teenager had the toddler’s instant attention. “An’ suns an’ clouds too? And big fwuffy pillows?”

“Uh-huh,” Dawn said with an enthusiastic nod.

The little girl squealed and crawled toward Dawn, holding out her arms to be picked up. “Wanna see, wanna see!”

Dawn laughed outright as Xander let out a loud, exaggerated sigh of relief, and she scooped the little girl into her arms just as Willow reappeared.

“I got the bed and nightstand, Xan,” she said cheerfully, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “We still need to pick out a sofa curtains that all of us will like.”

“No pink or yellow!” Dawn and Xander immediately chorused together.

Willow looked disappointed. “But I found this really cute pale yellow curtain set with little blue-“

“No yellow!”

Xander grinned wickedly, and pointed towards a set of curtains that were meant to go into a child’s room more than they were meant for a general living room. “I like THOSE, Wills.”

Willow looked to where he was pointing and turned pale. “Absolutely NOT!”

Dawn looked to where Xander had indicated and giggled. “I dunno, Will, the little froggies are kinda cute.”

“You made your rule, now I’m making mine. Under no circumstances whatsoever is anything that is purchased here tonight to have FROGS on it!” Willow said emphatically, shivering and diverting her eyes.

Dawn rolled her eyes. “Willow, they’re cartoons-“

“No frogs!”

Jason was trying to muffle his laughter, and failing.

Willow turned to him with a pout. “Stop laughing, it’s not funny,” she whined. “I HATE frogs. They’re worse than cockroaches and snakes and spiders and worms and every other icky crawly thing put together!” she declared.

During the color-and-frog debate, Anita, Micah, and Nathaniel had wandered off to look at some other furniture. They still caught most of the argument, and Anita muffled a laugh.

*You should not chuckle, ma petite, considering what you collect.* Jean Claude said in amusement, and now Anita could ‘hear’ him, having opened the link back up once Xander had been agreeable about the hotline.

*Yeah, but I’m not scared of ‘em.* Anita retorted.

Dawn looked between the vampire Master and the necromancer and frowned a bit, but didn’t say anything. She could sense that they were using some kind of telepathic bond to talk, but she didn’t want to give away the fact that she was different, since none of the St. Louis natives had picked up on that little fact just yet.

Jean Claude stirred. “I would be most interested in learning more about your magic, fair witch,” he said silkily to Willow, who blinked at him.

Asher took his cue from Jean Claude. “Perhaps you could join us for dinner in a night or so?” When Willow looked uncertainly at Xander, Dawn, and Mira, he added, “You friends would of course be most welcome. I would enjoy seeing the charming little girl again.”

Willow looked at Xander, who shrugged and nodded. Then she looked at Dawn, who grinned and said, “Awww, our first night here and all of us already have a date!”
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Politics Suck