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Prelude	By : belladonnacullen Category: Twilight Series > Het > Bella/Edward Views: 5838 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
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After Alice left I threw myself into elaborate dinner preparations, trying to keep my mind from taking off in directions that made me uncomfortable. And there were many topics that could easily send me into a panic. First of all, thoughts of my wedding still resulted in a faint quaking in my knees. And of course it was hard to reconcile that Jacob was going to miss the most important day of my life, and that it was my own fault. Then there was the thought of sending Aro an invitation to the wedding. It seemed dangerous at best, and likely to end the lives of my dearest loved ones at worst. Finally, my heart beat a little unevenly whenever I thought about Edward's forthcoming answer to last night's request. Alice seemed so sure about what his answer would be. My heart started beating unevenly again, so I threw myself with renewed vigor into preparing vegetable lasagna with both homemade bechamel and red sauce. I didn't skimp on the salad either, combining some baby greens, toasted pumpkin seeds, and roasted red pepper and goat cheese. I managed to keep my mind mostly occupied from afternoon until evening with only one minor injury, burning my thumb as I took the bell pepper out of the broiler.
But even with my over the top dinner, Charlie maintained his grumpy silence of the past few nights. With no conversation, dinner was over too quickly. So I washed the dishes thoroughly and dried them all by hand. I tried watching whatever game Charlie had on T.V., but I should have known it was hopeless. There was no part of a baseball game that could put my mind to rest. I faked a yawn, overacting only slightly. If Charlie noticed, he didn't let on.
"I'm kind of tired dad. I think I'll head up to bed."
"Good night, Bells. Hey, where's Edward this evening?" Charlie clearly grimaced while saying Edward's name. Hopefully he would get over that reaction in time for the wedding. But then he seemed to come out of his fog and brighten a bit as he glanced around his house and took in my fiance's absence. The word fiance still caused my stomach to turn though, and I decided a quick retreat upstairs was in order.
"He went on a hike with his brothers again. He'll be back tomorrow, I think."
"Those boys are always out on the trail. You think Edward will get you into the wilderness after you two, are uh, married?" The sentences started easily enough, but Charlie had to choke out the end. The bit of light I noticed only a minute ago was instantly extinguished, and I wasn't sure he cared to continue the conversation.
"I don't think so, dad. Good night." I supposed Charlie had reason enough to disapprove of Edward, least of all marrying his daughter straight out of high school. I honestly wanted to give him some room to work this out for himself, but eventually this was going to have to stop.
"Mm hm." Charlie eyed me as I walked up the stairs slowly, my stomach churning. I felt that Edward must be back, so I went straight to the bathroom. I took a long shower and shaved my legs just in case. In case of what? I didn't even know. My heart started knocking around in my chest again as I considered this, so I let the hot water stream over me until it ran cold. I brushed my hair out the best I could and surveyed the tank top and cotton drawstring pajama bottoms I had stashed in the bathroom. They would have to do.
Taking a deep breath, I walked across the short landing to the door of my room. Before I could give myself a chance to hyperventilate, I grabbed the doorknob and threw the door open. But as I peered inside it became quickly evident that Edward wasn't back. It was also evident that I hadn't been picking up after myself lately, what with the recent war against twenty vampires, and my engagement to another. I busied myself by tidying my room. Then I checked my email. There were three messages from Renee in the past two days, each one gushing about my wedding. I forwarded them all to Alice, and then sent my mom a brief note explaining that with regard to the wedding, she should email Alice and Esme directly in the future. No, not so bad. I could do this.
When Edward still hadn't come I looked through my books, searching for something to reread. Nothing appealed to me. So instead, I leafed through a stack of CDs that Edward had recently brought over. I popped in a new one by a Seattle band that Emmett was really into lately. The first couple songs were poppy and jangly and full of silly nonsense lyrics, really catchy. I could see why Emmett would like it, even though I think hip-hop was usually his thing. But this was so happy, totally Emmett.
However it all changed with one of the last songs on the album. It still had an urgent beat, but the tone changed. Suddenly, it was like my heart was raw, it brought out such emotion. I took out the jacket to read the sad lyrics, and they didn't make much sense, just like the rest of the album. But there was a feeling of loss and regret, and the sense that something you once had, you didnÕt anymore. There was a line about disappearing and turning into rain, and suddenly I was desperate. Where was Edward? Why wasn't he back?
I suddenly felt like everything had been a dream. I didn't know if Edward could be mine. Glancing at the cell phone, it didn't even seem like I could call him. The song was over; tears were streaming down my face. But this was silly, it was just a song, and Edward had been gone for less than twenty-four hours. Exhausted, I turned off the CD player and climbed into bed, unsure of my emotions.
That night I dreamed I was on an expedition on a ship in the Arctic, thick fog closing in on us from all sides. All around us were ice flows, and there was the snowy tundra of frozen land ahead. But as the ship came closer to land, the ice packs began to crowd closer to the boat, keeping the shore out of our reach. The ice boxed us in, with no way forward and no way back.
I realized that this mission must be crazy; we should never have gone this way, this far, for some elusive prize. The sun hugged the horizon through the night, never completely setting, and I knew I should try to sleep. But I became desperate as the ice pushed against the hull, threatening to tear the metal. The grating sound of the ice against metal was familiar and horrifying, and I searched for any way to make it stop. In my dream I held my hands to my ears, crying and pleading "No!"
Icy wind blew across my face and I shuddered. Only then a voice familiar and velvety smooth said simply, "It's OK, I'm here now." The sun rose on the horizon and a path that had been hidden before seemed very obvious, and the ship was able to easily make its way to the shore.
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