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Polar Night	By : belladonnacullen Category: Twilight Series > AU/AR > Het > Het Views: 8234 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

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"Think of the Soul;
I swear to you that body of yours gives proportions to your Soul some-
how to live in other spheres;
I do not know how, but I know it is so."
-Walt Whitman, Think of the Soul

The warm damp night caressed my skin as I swiftly removed my clothing and walked toward the water. The nearly full moon left a trail of silver light from the shore to the horizon. I walked toward it, like a beacon.

My skin matched the moonlight, blue-white and luminous. I looked down at my arms, my chest. Deep blue veins stood in sharp contrast to the ghostly pallor of my skin. For a vampire, my chest and arms were small. I was changed while I was quite ill. While I was strong, I could never compete with the build of most male vampires, something my brothers would often tease me mercilessly about. And for a human to see me, the continuous chalky expanse of my body, no tan lines, no marks, just an unending expanse of white, was unnerving. But Bella said I was beautiful, and I would have to take heart in that.

My toes touched the water. A gentle wave rippled around my feet, and rushed backwards. The tide was on its way out and sand ran around my ankles as it was pulled into the ocean.

From the house I heard the faint hammering of Bella’s heart. It would rush and patter quickly, then settle back into a normal rhythm. Just listening to its fitful beat caused my limbs to tremble and my chest to heave. Bella seemed so frightened all of the sudden. Had she finally realized what she was asking of an undead monster?

But I wasn’t here to agonize; I was here at the water’s edge to settle my nerves. So I slipped into the water, fell into the warmth, and let it surround and buoy me. My body warmed to it, my limbs went limp, and I was finally still. I traded human fears and quivering muscles for vampire stone. I pushed off from the sandy bottom and swam straight and fast for the moon, along its trail of light, pushing as far and as hard as I could go. Within two minutes I was a mile from shore.

I turned to look at the tiny island. Bright light glowed from the windows of the little beach house. From this distance the scene was idyllic, beautiful. Palm trees swayed in the balmy breeze and the white sand glistened in the moonlight. I could just barely make out the murmur of a beating heart, and I saw a feminine silhouette in the window light. It could have belonged to any woman preparing to meet her man, to give herself completely. But it wasn’t any woman; Bella was the most important thing in my world. And she wasn’t meeting a man; she was meeting me.

Bella believed from the beginning that there was something more than the monster in me. She’d come to believe that I was something, someone that would keep her safe. And ironically, it was the monster, the instincts of a vampire, to love, cherish and protect his mate, that had turned me more human. To keep Bella safe, I'd had to put aside my vampiric nature, and uncover the gentle soul that lay dormant underneath. It was a part of me I thought I’d lost a long time ago. But Bella unearthed it from the wreckage of my humanity, and now with her, I was almost whole.

I gazed out at the glass blocks of the bathroom window. Was Bella showering? Washing her face? I’d waited like this for Bella to come to me three hundred and twenty-four times. Night after night I’d struggled to stay seated as Bella’s heart beat out a rhythm along with the spray of the water on shower tiles. I would sit still and dream of her warm and wet, and her scent would escape the confines of the bath and drift under her bedroom door. Three hundred and twenty-four times my breath caught in my throat and I struggled against myself to sit, as I imagined her stepping from the shower, flushed and warm, toweling dry, brushing her hair.

This was like every other time, but it was the first time as Bella’s husband, and the last time I might make myself wait.

I lay on my back in the ocean, thoughtlessly counting the stars. Somehow, having Bella in my life had changed the way I saw things. At first she masked the beauty of the nighttime sky, but then she began to add to it, until the world with her in it burned with a brightness and potential that I’d never seen before. Without her, it was nothing. The stars were just old light; gray as the chalky undertone to my skin. But now the stars sparkled pink, yellow, blue and silver, moving through the black night with intensity and light.

I coasted back to the shore, listening to Bella’s heartbeat, letting it guide me to her. It was erratic again, rushed and uneven. “Don’t be a coward,” I heard her whisper. I couldn’t help but smile. I don’t think I knew anyone braver than Bella. But if she was nervous now, maybe this was insane. Could everyone in my family be wrong? Did they all have more me faith in me than I deserved? And while there were no thoughts for me to hear on this island, the words of my family floated through my brain supporting me, and giving me the strength to go on.

“You never choose the easy way, Edward, in all things, love included. I trust you to make the right choice. And if this is your choice, I believe that Bella will definitely remain unharmed.”

“It will be intense, but only as intense as what I’ve just explained to you. You’ll be consummating those intense desires and wishes. Physically, you’ve already proven that you can restrain yourself.”

“And compared with what I remember a human kid being able to do, dude, you are going to blow Bella’s mind.”

More than anything else, Emmett’s words relieved my tension. From the first day of his vampire existence, my brother could always bring a smile to my face, or elicit a growl of good-natured aggravation. I smiled at the little house, thinking of the things I could do that might ‘blow Bella’s mind.’

Then I heard Bella moving through the house, lingering by the back door. My breath suddenly lodged itself in my throat and I turned to look at the moon. I thought staring at Bella as she made her way toward me might make her more nervous, and I also worried I might fall to my knees. So I concentrated on the moon’s silver light and the silence in my brain. I kept time by Bella’s heart, and miraculously, its beat steadied as I did so. Bella’s feet moved purposefully to the water’s edge. I could hear the waves lapping against her languidly.

“Hmm,” Bella sighed.

I smiled and closed my eyes; I knew Bella would enjoy the warm water. Bella waded to my side. Warmth radiated from her body, and her scent was heavy in the humid air. I was standing still as a stone; I didn’t trust myself to move just yet.

Bella rested her hot hand over mine.

“Beautiful,” she murmured.

Her voice was soft, hardly more than a whisper blown away on the warm breeze. The sound of it caused me to draw in a sharp breath, coating my mouth and my throat with Bella’s scent, and suddenly I couldn’t stay still anymore. I felt my limbs loosen, my body come to life.

With Bella by my side, I changed; the world changed. Everything moved into her orbit and danced to life in her presence. The water itself was lovelier because it held Bella’s body, the grains of sand were more important because they supported her. Somehow everything paled in comparison to her, but was made better through her, myself included.

“It’s all right,” I murmured as I turned to look at my wife’s face. Bella’s eyes were dark brown, shining with certainty. Her skin glowed silver in the light of the moon, and her damp hair was brushed from her face and tumbled down her back, already slightly tangled in the wet ocean air.

I turned my hand over, warm from the water, and twined my fingers with hers. Her body shuddered and I heard her quick, soft intake of air.

“But I wouldn’t use the word beautiful, not with you standing here in comparison.”

I moved my eyes, taking in the beauty that was my wife. She was all silver, slender, gentle curves, soft angles. The soft swells of her breasts, dark nipples hardening under my gaze, her hips flaring to meet the surface of the water. I saw Bella’s cheeks flush darker, yet she took a step toward me, unfazed.

With that step, I fell in love all over again. I loved this forceful woman in front of me. I loved her stubbornness, I loved that she wouldn’t ever take no for an answer. I loved that, despite my secret travel plans and the fact that I piloted Carlisle’s boat, she was the one that brought me here and was the one making me take her in my arms.

Bella placed her hand on my chest, over my heart. The shock of heat from her hand burned deep into my chest, lighting my body on fire, shaking me from my stone reverie. My breath came fitfully as warmth was drawn from some deep, dead point within me, waking it to join with Bella’s light. It was a sensation of being awake and alive that I’d never felt before, it was something so vital it was almost painful. My body jerked, my skin felt like it might shatter. One look at that soft hand against my stone chest, quaking with intense desire, and all of my doubts returned.

“I promised we would try,” I whispered, looking down at Bella’s wide brown eyes. “If… if I do something wrong, if I hurt you, you must tell me at once.”

Bella nodded. Her eyes were serious and sure, and she took another step toward me. She was standing in front of me, within an inch of my chest. I felt the heat from Bella’s torso burning her silhouette onto my body.

Bella leaned her head forward, and let her forehead rest on my chest. Her eyelashes fluttered against me, her damp hair clung to my skin, and her warm hands held mine. It was a posture of surrender. She was giving herself to me as much in this moment as when she said ‘I do’ at the altar. “Don’t be afraid. We belong together.”

“Forever,” I agreed, completing the exchange of private vows. Now Bella and I were bound as more than man and wife, but as eternal beings, forever. She was my female, my mate, and my wife.

And with that one word, I saw that Bella finally understood my admission. She understood what I wanted, what I’d been hinting at for weeks. Her head darted up to look at me; her eyes met mine, happy and questioning all at once.

I nodded, almost imperceptibly, and I saw her eyes grow bright and light come to her face. “Thank you.”

Holding her hands gently in mine, I led her into deeper water.

“We’re going swimming?”

“Would you like to swim?”

“No.”

“What, then?” I murmured as I moved my hand to Bella’s hip. She shuddered and I began to pull my hand away. But she placed her hand over mine reassuringly.

“No.”

“Am I?”

“I was surprised. At how you feel. It’s like… like we’re the same.”

And somehow in that moment I felt very much the same as Bella, like I was just an inexperienced boy with a girl, not sure what to do next.

“Someday, soon, it will feel like this, forever… when you touch me?” I saw hope glowing in Bella’s eyes as she asked.

“Yes,” I smiled with the thought of touching Bella forever.

“I wonder if I’ll miss it. Your touch… it’s all I know. It’s what feels normal to me. Well, better than normal… really… wonderful.”

I pulled Bella in toward me and rubbed my nose along her neck, bringing goose bumps to life on her skin.

“Yes. That… I love that… I love you, Edward.”

“And you don’t like this as much?”

My hand moved to her back, and I traced the length of her spine with my fingertips, the delicate bones that held her human body erect. Bella was stronger than these bones, the strength of who she was wasn’t held in her body, it was in her soul. It was strong enough to change me, and strong enough to will herself into immortality. Her skin under the water felt almost cool to my touch, yet my fingertips burned all the same.

“No, god… that’s amazing.”

And then, like a feather at my hip, Bella’s fingers reached out to shyly stroke me. I felt a rumble build in my chest and heard Bella’s nervous laughter, like water tripping over stones.

“What?”

“I don’t know which I like more.” To demonstrate her point, she kissed my lips, and my mouth felt like it had been lit on fire. Her hands stroked my hips, and moved to my chest, gentle, soft and strangely cool.

I moved my lips to Bella’s ear and carefully pulled her lobe between my lips.

“Oh,” she cooed.

I pulled Bella’s body flush with mine. The same. The warmth of the water had bled into my skin, and neutralized the feel of her heat. I greedily pressed myself into her, feeling the length of Bella’s body aligning with mine in all the right places. Her breasts pushed against my chest, soft downy hairs whispered against my thighs. There was a cold burn where the length of me pressed up against Belly’s abdomen.

“Which do you prefer Bella?” I whispered in her ear.

“You, Edward. I just want you.”

I wrapped my arms around her and held her, gazing into her eyes. I felt a smile spread across my face, as I looked down at my wife, my mate, my everything. “You have me.”

Bella’s hands were soft against me, her touch was light as a feather as she explored my back, and then swept lower over my backside. I throbbed when she touched me there. I felt Bella tense, but then move more firmly against me.

“You… are mine? Really?” she asked in a small voice.

I leaned my head against Bella’s shoulder, giving in to her touch, giving myself up to her. To hear her say those three words, ‘you are mine’, sent shockwaves through my body and made me inexplicably weak in the knees. Bella chuckled a little.

“What…”

“I love it when I can make you do that.”

“What?”

“Purr.”

I hadn’t realized that I was, and I smiled again as I leaned my head on her shoulder. “I’m beginning to think there’s nothing you couldn’t get me to do,” I admitted.

“Really? Nothing?” Her voice was a husky whisper. Suddenly everything she might want danced before my eyes, everything I might want, everything I’d held back from Bella, and all those lines I’d drawn in the sand were erased.

“I could stay here, holding you like this forever,” Bella murmured as her legs twined with mine. That hadn’t been what I’d been thinking about doing, at all.

“If that’s what you’d like, I could do that.” I pulled my arms firmer around Bella, no space left between us, anywhere. “I’ll just hold you here, for eternity,” I teased.

Bella smiled at my joke and went in for a kiss, but I turned my head.

“No, sorry, just holding you,” I chuckled.

“Edward!” Bella pulled away and I let her go. She splashed me, and warm salt water splattered against my face.

I dove for her, carefully wound my arm around her and pulled us both under the water. We emerged standing, my arms wound securely around Bella. “Like I said, I’m happy to stand here forever,” I grinned.

But one look at Bella, wet and glistening, water streaming from her hair, and I could no longer joke. I brought my lips to hers a little harder than I intended, muffling Bella’s gasp. But she pushed back ferociously, allowing just the tip of my tongue to meet hers. Her one arm wound around my waist, and her other hand ran through my hair, hot, twisting and pulling.

“Pull harder,” I growled under my breath.

And she did. I tried not to get lost in the sensation of her body, like a whisper, tricking and tempting me, ghosting against my frame.

I kissed Bella as deeply as I dared, our tongues teasing each other, taking her lips between mine, until I felt her trembling in my arms. My mouth trailed to her earlobe, gently licking and sucking, and then along her neck, and I listened to the blood pounding feverishly in her jugular, reminding me that she was still human. I gently moved my hands lower, cupping her bottom, running my fingertips over her soft skin, and picking her off her feet, so that her soft folds pressed against my erection.

“Oh!” Bella’s legs clutched my sides, and despite the water, her center was warm against the length of me, heat radiating from her at that point. I felt myself throbbing, aching, and suddenly I was pushing against Bella.

Bella’s mouth was at my neck, a trail of warm kisses leading to the spot just behind my ear. Her velvety tongue was a tickle of fire. I held her bottom in my hands, and moved her up so that I could kiss her shoulder, then her chest, higher out of the water, bringing her breast to my mouth, warm water streaming from her hair and spilling over my face. The friction that this movement caused made me tremble, her heat, needling the most sensitive part of my body. My lips were on fire as I licked and tasted, reveling in the feel of the springy skin of her areola and her hardening nipple. My tongue circled her nipple, I covered my teeth with my lips and nipped and sucked at the firm peak, before moving to her other breast, and starting over.

Bella was panting; her back was arching towards me, her fingers digging into my back. I heard her ragged breath from somewhere above me, and a low growl rumbled in my chest. All there was in this moment was Bella and I, and the world began to fall away. My vision narrowed. I pushed my hard length against Bella, rubbing myself against her hot folds, and I ached and throbbed, moving faster. Her soft breast was pushed against my face, her nipple firm and warm. Suddenly I wanted to nip there with my teeth, to feel the blinding ecstasy of my teeth against her skin. Mine. I felt myself slipping towards something and I stopped. I held still.

“Edward?”

It only took a second to bring myself back to the present. Bella, human, trusting, tempting, fragile in my arms. I was her protector. I had to stay focused. I had to remember, my hands, my weight, my thrust, and my teeth. My teeth.

With a groan, I slid her down in my arms so that we were face to face. The friction of her body against mine set all of my nerve endings on fire. She landed on her feet in front of me and I pulled her back against me. Perhaps I could stand like this forever, with my erection hard against her belly and the soft skin of her bottom under my hard palms. I brought one hand up to tangle in her wet hair, pulling her head toward mine, bringing my hard mouth against her soft, supple lips.

Her body molded into my hard planes. Our limbs intertwined, her hands ran along my back, pulling herself impossibly closer. Bella wrapped one of her legs around my waist, using it to bring her hot center firmly against me, again. Her breasts bobbed at the surface of the water.

“I love you,” Bella whispered.

“That’s why we’re here.”

“We look alike, tonight. Our skin.” I let her pull my hand from her hair and she held it between us. Maybe to her human eyes we looked alike. But Bella’s glow was lit from deep within, my skin reflected moonbeams unnaturally.

“I’m nothing compared to you,” I murmured. I let go of her hand to lightly trace the outline of her breast at the water’s surface.

But Bella shook her head. “You are my life, Edward. Don’t say tha…”

I didn’t let her finish. My mouth was on hers again as I lifted her off the sandy ocean floor, and her legs wound around my waist again. We didn’t hold back, I moved Bella against me, hot and soft against my icy penis, her legs clutched my sides, her heart beating against my chest. And then I was there. Bella pulled herself upwards. With one motion I would be home.

No, not yet. I fought my body and commanded myself to speak.

“Bella.” My voice was little more than a breath. I felt her pushing against my hands, trying to move down.

“Bella, wait.”

She finally seemed to hear me. “What?”

“Wait.”

“Why?”

“I’m taking you to bed.”

“Finally.”

*****

“Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?
I have no precious time at all to spend,
Nor services to do, till you require.”
-Shakespeare, Sonnet 57

Edward held me in his arms, and I was out of the water, speeding over white sand, and across another threshold. Suddenly the air around me was warmer than the water had been. It was thick and heavy with humidity. The only thing that could cut through it was Edward, cool, smooth and hard against my side. Within a second, I was lying on my back, my legs slightly bent, my head resting on Edward’s arm. He was on his side, his one arm behind my head, the other caressing the back of my thigh. I turned to look at him and his eyes were centimeters from mine. I gasped.

His eyes searched mine, and I could just see the hint of fear that he was holding inside. I knew we were both terrified, and I didn’t know what I could say to make it better for him. Right now there were no words in my brain, just a picture of Edward, staring back at me, humbled by my presence. Thank god I was lying down…

Lying down on an enormous bed, on white, downy soft bedding, with white netting hung about our heads. There were soft, fluffy pillows everywhere and I wondered at that, seeing as how the Cullens didn’t actually sleep. My skin was damp, seawater mixed with sweat from the overheated room. I could feel beads of perspiration along my forehead and between my breasts.

But I could hardly think of anything besides Edward’s hand, moving back and forth across the back of my thigh, never straying from its course, back and forth. I felt his sweet, cold breath on my face and the room swam before me.

Edward smiled, lighting the dark room. His golden eyes sparkled with yellow specks of sunlight, even in the dark. “Bella, breathe, remember?”

“Right,” I said, inhaling a mixture of Edward’s cool scent and the humid air in the room. My body tingled in response, and suddenly I thought I might be able to move.

I very lightly traced a path across Edward’s chest and down his side. He was as hard and cold as marble, but he flinched with my touch. I let my hand come to rest on his hip.

“God, Edward, you’re so --”

“Pale?” he offered.

I pressed my lips into a small grin. “That’s not what I was thinking.”

Edward’s smile mirrored my own, and his eyes looked down toward the bed, as if he were shy. This made me feel braver and I wriggled closer to him on the bed, until my body just barely touched his. That’s when I noticed that Edward wasn’t breathing. He didn’t need to, but it unnerved me, nonetheless.

“Edward, could you breathe? It would make me feel better.”

His eyes were still focused away from mine, but I saw the hint of a smile pull at the corners of his lips. “That was advice for the human,” he quipped, his eyes finally meeting mine.

“Then, should I remind you of the advice for the vampire in the room?”

Edward’s eyes grew soft and the golden light they emitted became warm, somehow. “Are you ready, Bella?”

I nodded my head slightly. “Are you?”

“I’m so afraid of hurting you.”

“You won’t hurt me. I know you.”

“Bella.” My name was a sigh as Edward crushed his lips against mine. Our bodies were flush with one another; I pressed myself up against granite come to life. How was it possible that he was cold enough to set me on fire? My body burned where I touched Edward and I expected to see steam, or flames, or something.

But instead there was glowing white marble pressed against my pinking flesh, slippery and wet with warm water. Edward’s hand finally left my thigh and he gently eased his body on top of mine, bracing his weight on his hands. His skin whispered against mine, and I thought there should be flashes of light, because my skin felt like it was bursting into flames.

His long, hard, weight pressed against my belly, and I took a deep breath. He was so cold at this spot, as if whatever had given him life concentrated there. I felt my breath coming rougher, thinking of him, that piece of him inside of me. What should I do? I wasn’t sure.

Edward’s lips gently encased my earlobe. “Nine,” he breathed. A giggle erupted from my throat. His list, his favorite places to touch me. His one hand caressed the side of my breast, and then swept across my nipple.

“Four?” I asked, trying in vain to use my brain while my body was on fire. I couldn’t hear his response, his words tripped against one another, soft and quick, like wind whispering in the trees. But then his mouth swept downward to the hollow of my throat, while his hand was at my waist, my hip, caressing my thigh. His mouth moved to my breast and I shuddered and arched my back. The things he could do with his tongue, his lips. I felt its effects everywhere. A thin sheen of sweat was suddenly covering my body, and the spot between my legs ached. Did I just groan?

Edward moved his mouth back to mine. His lips were so cold they burned. “Three?” I asked.

“It’s all one, Bella. You, I want all of you.” Edward’s voice was rough and intense, almost a growl. Then everything seemed to speed up and slow down all at once. He grasped my thigh, and carefully moved it to the side so that he could fit between my legs. I felt him heavy and cold, against me, stroking me, so cold it almost hurt. I shuddered and my breaths came faster and harder. I was more exposed than I had ever been, did I look right? Did he like what he saw? I felt so insignificantly human underneath this god of a man. Suddenly, his hand was no longer on my thigh, but gently stroking my face. “Isabella, are you okay?”

It was like he’d heard my thoughts. I was so touched; I blinked my eyes quickly so they wouldn’t tear. I couldn’t cry, now. I couldn’t let him know how I felt. It had taken superhuman powers of persuasion to get Edward here. I couldn’t give him a reason to stop. “Of course.” My answer was little more than a breath.

“You’ll tell me, stop me, if… if…”

“Yes, Edward. Please… please.” But at the same time as I begged, I was terrified. Not of Edward hurting me, but of everything that was a part of this moment. Right now was usually when things ended physically between Edward and I, but tonight it was just the beginning.
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Polar Night