Blood On White Roses | By : DBZchick Category: Twilight Series > AU/AR > Slash Views: 2329 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story. |
CHAPTER 5: MEMORIES
It didn’t take long for formal introductions to be made and we all found ourselves seated in the spacious living room. Edward reclined in an arm chair, near Esme and Carlisle who sat next to each other on a large, white sofa. Jasper took a seat on a matching loveseat and I claimed another arm chair closest to my brother. I was still trying to grasp it. My brother! He was supposed to be dead. Well, I guess that was all a matter of interpretation… And from the looks of him, he’d most certainly gone through hell and back. Though much of his body was concealed under his jeans and long sleeved shirt, there were numerous, crescent-shaped scars overlapping around the visible areas of his jaw, neck and wrists. He even had two near his left eyebrow. A bite from another vampire is one of the only things that can scar our kind. And it was obvious that Jasper had been bitten dozens, if not hundreds of times. I suppressed an instinctive shudder of fear, as pride and concern equally welled up in me. That meant my brother had fought in who knows how many battles - and had won them all. I hoped I never got on his bad side. What on Earth had he been through? I’d guess Jasper must have been 19 or 20 years old when he’d been transformed. He was still lean, though more muscular than I remembered. He probably thought much the same of me. We’d both been young teenagers the last time I saw him, when he snuck off to war – too young but determined to go anyway. So many years and a lifetime ago… And he was still taller than me, dammit! Jasper’s smile grew in answer to mine. “What?” I shook my head and grinned. “It’s silly, but I was just remembering how once you bet me that I’d never be taller than you – even in a hundred years! Guess you win.” Jasper chuckled, “Appears so.” He thought for a moment before continuing. “I’m surprised you remember that. You must have been 5 years old then.” I shrugged. “I tried to hold on to my human memories. They help keep me sane. Most are still foggy though,” I answered nonchalantly. Carlisle leaned forward, a gentle look in his topaz eyes. “So, Gabriel, you’ve been with the Volturi? I stayed with them for a time. Were you with them long?” he asked. I hoped my expression didn’t become too guarded, but a quick glance at everyone’s attentive, concerned expressions and I realized I might have slipped. I sighed, leaning back into the plush cushions and tried to play up being aloof. “Oh, I suppose they’re much the same as they have always been. I was with them for nearly all of the last century. Their chief concern is still maintaining the law. Aro loved to use my ‘gift’ of quick reasoning to make sure nothing was missed in a person’s trial.” Esme looked a little perplexed, tilting her head to one side. “I thought Aro knows everyone’s every thought they’ve ever had. Why would he need you for that?” Edward answered before I could, shaking his head minutely. “Aro’s powers require him to touch someone; which is fine if there are only a few individuals. But if it’s a larger group, it’d be easier to have someone who can quickly figure it out on their own and provide a different point of view of the situation.” I nodded. “Exactly. I wasn’t needed very often, just enough to keep me around.” “Did they use your empathetic abilities too?” Of course, Jasper was the one to ask me that. Fortunately, I’d been expecting it and my emotions and features remained neutral. This time I seemed to be more effective. “They tried to. But for the most part, I can only project my own emotions. I can easily read another’s, but to manipulate them takes a good bit of concentration. Not to mention, I’m also limited to having to touch someone. It’s actually easier with humans, because I’ve had more practice and their struggles don’t distract me.” Carlisle and Esme’ expressions waivered just a little at the mention of my feeding habits, though they tried to hide it. I winced mentally, rebuking myself for offending them. It was going to take some getting used to this different way of life. Jasper looked thoughtful. “Mother always did say you ‘wore your heart on your sleeve’.” “That can be a good thing…” Esme assured, though her smile didn’t reach her eyes. ‘Or a very bad one…” I mentally grimaced, but I smiled politely back at her. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw both Jasper and Edward’s frowns deepen, as if they agreed with me. A small thrill of fear raced through me. Did my brother suspect something? I’d have to remember to be careful. His empathetic powers seemed to far exceed mine. I’m sure he could easily sense the inner turmoil roiling inside me and that I was trying to hide something. As if confirming this, a new edge of suspicion and concern crept upon me. Oh yeah, he was good. Dammit! I took a slow, steadying breath - Time to take the focus off of me. “So, Jasp, what have you been up to all these years?” He smirked. “Oh no, you don’t. You’re not getting off that easy.” I froze. He did suspect something! Edward thus far hadn’t revealed anything. I honestly didn’t think he would anyway, but regardless he hadn’t had time to. Surely Jasper couldn’t have guessed the truth in so short a time. The last thing I wanted was for my big brother, whom I had just finally been reunited with, to find out I had been used for the Volturi Guards’ more sadistic pleasures. “What do you mean?” I asked calmly, my voice smooth and even. And for once I was glad my heart remained motionless – it’d of been thundering against my ribs and pounding in my ears by now if I were still human. “Everyone here has heard my story,” Jasper explained, quickly gesturing to his coven. ”They could probably tell you it nearly as well as I can. But none of us have heard yours… Please go first. I promise I’ll tell you mine as soon as you finish.” I was surprised, then relieved. “Oh,” I looked around at the four, curious faces all staring intently at me. “Sure. Sorry. Where do you want me to begin?” Esme smiled warmly now. “What about yours and Jasper’s early life? Your brother here has never really spoken much of it.” I glanced at Jasper, who quickly nodded his consent. Best to make sure there wasn’t a reason for him holding back. He’d always been more reserved than I was, but he seemed to fully trust the Cullens. “Alright, well…” I hesitated, taking a second to decide how to start and sort through the dim memories of my earliest human years. “Ok. I was born on April 4, 1846 at our family farm in Houston, Texas,” I began. “Our father, Carter Whitlock, ran the farm along with our maternal uncle. Father was also a dedicated soldier and southerner, who left to serve in the Mexican-American War when I was only a few weeks old. Our mother, Ellen, was a proud, educated woman. She’d been born in Boston, to a large, respectable family of physicians and she occasionally assisted our local doctor as needed. Mostly though, she kept the house and educated her children.” Esme smiled. “Were there many children in your family?” I smiled sadly, a wave of longing joining mine from Jasper. “Not as many as some families. There were four of us total. Jasper was the eldest and almost 2 years older than me. The twins, Samuel and Emily, were four years younger. We had a baby sister too, but she passed away when she was just a couple days old.” Esme’ expression fell and Carlisle quietly wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Your poor mother. It’s a terrible thing to lose a child,” she revealed somberly – speaking obviously from experience. “I hadn’t thought of them in years…” my brother confessed. He looked upset as well. I gave him a sympathetic look. “I saw them once about 10 years after I was changed. They were all still living on the farm, and Emily was married with a toddler underfoot. They all looked well,” I assured him, neglecting to mention the three graves on the property that bore the names Carter, Jasper and Gabriel Whitlock. “That’s good. So what happened after I left to join the army?” he asked. “Well, you know Father immediately joined up when the war first started, even though he was opposed to slavery. And you joined just a couple of months after him, despite being underage. I wanted to go too, but I’d just turned 15 and Mother and Abigail convinced me to stay.” “Abigail?” my brother frowned in concentration for a couple seconds. “Wasn’t she a neighbor?” “Yes,” I mumbled, suddenly finding great interest in studying my pale hands. I didn’t say any more. It was difficult to talk about Abby. Tan skin, hazel eyes and lovely with her auburn hair and just a sprinkle of freckles across her dainty nose. And her laugh… It was her laughter that I had loved the most. It had been as beautiful as she was in a golden sunset. That sounded corny even in my thoughts, but it was true and oh how I missed her. It was the memories of Abby that I’d clung to the hardest in the beginning and why I could recall them so well now. Jasper smiled tentatively, feeling my stress but still curious enough to ask. “It’s all very hazy, but weren’t you courting her?” “Yeah,” I confirmed again, then took a deep breath and sighed. I might as well just say it. “Actually, I was going to ask her to marry me when I returned from the war,” I confessed bashfully and with remorse. I’d never told anyone that, not even Abby herself. Guess it didn’t matter now. I hadn’t even had the courage to look her up when I checked on my family back in 1875. I regretted my cowardice now. Despite my jealousy, I hoped that she’d lived a long happy life, surrounded by the children I knew she’d wanted. I honestly didn’t have any real compunction about losing my humanity, but I have always been bitter about losing Abigail. Jasper looked surprised and saddened by my revelation. “I’m sorry, Gabe.” He decided to change the subject finally. “How old were you when you joined the Army?” I tried to relax and let my longing and ire slip away as I answered. “Well, I never actually joined the Army. One day, a wounded messenger appeared on our doorstep with a letter from you. You had written about how you were advancing so quickly thru the ranks. We were all so proud of you. I assisted Mother in nursing the man back to health, learning as much from her that I could. I hoped that if I did join the war that I could help the wounded, rather than add to the bloodshed. Still I waited and started helping Mother and the local doctor whenever I could. Months later in the fall of 1862, another letter arrived informing us of the death of Father. Then even Abby could no longer dissuade me. I waited out the winter, got a letter of recommendation from the doctor, and joined up with the Confederate medical staff the next spring, just after I turned 17 years old.” “And how did you like the medical field, Gabriel?” Carlisle asked, clearly intrigued. “It was rewarding and a bit traumatizing. I assisted the doctors, whom most barely qualified as, bringing them instruments or holding down soldiers as their destroyed limbs or bullets were removed. I carried water, bandages or anything needed into and out of those hot, putrid smelling make-shift hospitals. Sometimes all I could do was give the soldier someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on or even help pen letters to their families if they were unable. Some of those soldiers weren’t any older than I was. The nurses liked having me around, ‘cause I always seemed to have a soothing effect on those patients and wasn’t too proud to help.” “That must be where your ability to read and influence emotions developed from,” Edward observed. Jasper and Carlisle nodded in agreement. I shrugged. “Probably. Anyway, after a year away and I was 18, I received a letter from Mother that Jasper had been reported MIA. I took this news hard, cause as brothers, we’d always been close.” I glanced at Jasper before going on. “I wanted to go home, support the family and marry Abigail, but there was so many sick and wounded that needed help. Plus I hoped that maybe I would find you amongst the seemingly endless numbers that came through the hospitals. So throughout that year, I stayed and traveled with the Confederate surgeons. And as much as I increasingly hated the war and all its’ horrors, I held on to the hope that I’d find you and we’d both go home together.” My brother’s strange golden eyes looked back at me full of remorse. “I’m so sorry, Gabriel. I had been turned for a year by that point. It was best for ya’ll to believe that I had just disappeared. Or been killed in action,” Jasper reasoned. Of course he was right. “It’s alright,” I smiled gently at him, accepting his apology. “I ended up having to do the same thing. Poor Mother...” “She not only lost her husband, but TWO sons…” Esme shook her head sadly. “So when did your transformation take place?” “Later that fall, in mid November. General Sherman had begun his ‘March to the Sea’ campaign across Georgia, leaving a wide path of destruction in his wake. My medical unit trailed the advancing army, attempting to rescue and treat all that we could while staying clear of the enemy. “One night, we came across a ravaged plantation. While the majority of the group rushed to the main house, another man and I heard a girl’s cry and ran to one of the burning slave huts. Inside, we were horrified to find a ghost pale man latched onto the throat of a young girl. A dead slave woman and boy lay on the ground near the monster’s bare feet. I guess he must have been taking advantage of all the destruction and chaos to find easy meals…“ My dark garnet eyes narrowed in anger at the memories. “I became enraged and charged the man, who snapped the girl’s neck and laughed at me with his blood stained lips. I’ll never forget that or how bright red the fire made his eyes seem. I couldn’t even tell you now if he was a newborn or not. He bit deep into my arm and then flung me straight through the wooden walls of the hut, just as the other man charged him. It was all very foggy then for me as I lay bloody and broken in the yard. I could hardly think through pain, but I managed to crawl out into the surrounding orchard, away from the burning buildings. With all the bedlam caused by Sherman’s army, no one seemed to have noticed my absence or at least bothered to search for me. Even the vampire didn’t come after me, though I’m sure he could have easily followed my trail of blood. Maybe he was full by that point. So I remained there alone, nearly delirious for 3 days and nights, until the transformation was complete.” Everyone was quiet for a few moments, looking elsewhere, probably lost in the memories of their own agonizing change. Nothing can adequately describe the pain. Afterwards, when I could finally think straight again, I fully sympathized with all those soldiers laying in the fields and tents and hospitals, begging for death and not always getting their wish. “What did you do after that?” Jasper asked quietly, breaking the silence. Everyone looked at me once more in expectation. It felt so strange to be the center of attention. I really wasn’t used to it, preferring to blend in to the crowd. Drawing attention to yourself among the Volturi for any reason was not a good idea. I took a breath and continued. “Mostly I moved at night and remained in the south. After those first ravenous years, I began to practice my self-control by stalking my prey for longer periods. I tried to restrict my diet as much as I could to marauding soldiers, bandits, drunks, and corrupt carpet-baggers. I was astonished by my new ability to know my victims’ emotions by touching them. The first time I noticed it, I was so surprised that my prey nearly escaped. Eventually I learned that if I concentrated, I could alter their emotions – humor, calm, sedate… or terrorize.” A wicked grin spread across my face, my devilish side rising to the surface. “I particularly enjoyed practicing that skill on a group of men in white robes I found one night,” I chuckled, remembering some of the Klan’s petrified faces. “Sounds like you and Edward have something in common then,” my brother interrupted with a teasing smile, receiving a glare from the bronze haired younger man. “You should compare notes on the evils of humanity.” “Jasper…” Carlisle warned; though from the quick looks he and Esme exchanged, I wondered if they secretly weren’t pleased about something. Judging by Edward’s reaction, I guess it was about Jasper’s humor. Esme patted Edward’s knee soothingly, but looked at me with a smile. “Please continue, Gabriel. Did you always stay in the south? How did you meet the Volturi?” I made a mental note to learn more about Edward and hopefully everyone else in this coven. After all, they were getting all the dirt about me. Well, almost all. “I ran into a few other vampires in the south, mostly other individuals or small covens. A few asked me to join them, but at the time I preferred to remain on my own. They did warn me of the newborn armies that were developing again and of the Volturi. Knowing that I would stand no chance against any large coven, let alone an army of newborns, and not wanting to be around if the Volturi intervened, I started heading toward the north. “By 1901, I was in New York City. It was easy hunting and fairly simple to blend in. But only you were still careful. There was a newborn running around, untrained and killing far too conspicuously even for the Big Apple. One night, she surprised me as I was feeding in a deserted alley. The newborn, crazed with the scent of fresh blood, attacked me. I tried to talk reason to her, but it did no good. I kept dodging her sloppy lunges, then grabbed her from behind and used my power to sedate her. It took a minute, but eventually she stopped struggling and became lethargic. I was just about to speak to her again when a trio of hooded figures dropped from the roof tops. I was so startled, I lost my concentration and my hold relaxed. The newborn broke free and charged the cloaked figures, who quickly destroyed her.” My burgundy eyes narrowed again as I began to seethe with fury. “It was Jane, Alec and Demitri. They were impressed by my ability and requested that I join them in returning to Volterra. I refused of course, but Jane has an excellent talent of her own for ‘persuading’ others. As does Alec I learned. And just in case I did somehow manage to escape, which I wasn’t able to, then Demitri could simply track me down..... And that’s how I wound up with the Volturi. ” The four members of my audience all stared at me in silence, their faces masked with mixed expressions of surprise, anger and sympathy. I didn’t want any of it. Dredging up such painful memories and being the center of attention for this long had left me feeling annoyed and defensive. I just wasn’t used to it. And this pain I felt was different from the normal mental anguish I’d become accustomed to. This was the pain of loss. The loss of loved ones and of lost opportunity. All because of those fucking greedy Volturi! It wasn’t the Cullens fault, but my patience was now running dangerously thin. And I certainly was not going to disclose what else happened in those dark, backrooms of Volterra. Story time, at least for mine, was over. As I sat there, gritting my teeth and my fists clenched tight to prevent me from ruining my hosts’ beautiful upholstery and hospitality, a wave of calm and warm familial love began to wrap around me, washing over my frayed nerves. I turned my gaze to my brother and my expression softened. He was the only true family I had left in the world and I hadn’t even known he still existed a few hours ago. It gave me hope for the future that maybe not all was lost. I gave him a small smile of gratitude that quickly turned into a challenging grin. “Alright, Jasper, now it’s your turn.”TBC….
------------------------ (Song Influence: Florence and the Machine – Shake It Out) A/N: First off - THANK YOU FOR THE 1000 views! And Oh. My. GOD! It's 5am and I’m so freaking happy I FINALLY finished this damn chapter! This was probably the hardest single piece I’ve ever worked on for a fic and it’s only 3600 words long. V_V; I wanted to just skip thru it so many times, but I felt it was essential for developing Gabe’s character. Embarrassingly, I just realized I’ve been revising, perfecting and revising again for nearly a full year (albeit a terrible year!)… uh. Anyway, I hope you all like it! Oh and don’t worry I DEFINITELY will NOT be telling Jasper’s story. Go read Eclipse or the Official Illustrated Guide if you want that! In case you’re wondering, yes I did a little research about the Civil War for this chapter. It wasn’t too hard though since I love history, work in medicine, grew up in Georgia and have lived in Virginia for nearly 15 years. ;) Annnnyyywaaayyy…NEXT CHAPTER: Emmett and Gabriel meet. And it’s definitely not love at first sight.
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