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Now You're My Whole World	By : astartelydianna Category: Twilight Series > Het Views: 9055 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Now You're My Whole World
- 2-Fire
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 4
- 5
Chapter 5: Normal?
Paul POV
It had been two weeks since Charlie’s death. Bella had spoken to her mum who had booked a flight the same day to come to Washington. After they had spent hours in Sam and Emily’s spare room talking they came out and joined the rest of us for dinner although neither of them ate much.
Bella had had to arrange Charlie’s funeral since she hadn’t gotten hold of her mom until over week after Charlie’s death. Sam and some of the other members of the police force had helped her and fortunately Chief Swan had a life insurance plan and funeral bond to help.
Practically the whole town had been at the service, and several people got up to say a few words about him, even Bella.
~Flashback~
She looked so pale and tired as she stood in front of everyone. I just wanted to drag her back into her seat and tell her she doesn’t have to speak in front of everyone, she can just sit here with me...
“Um...as most of you know, after my parents’ divorce I didn’t get to spend much time with my dad until I moved here two years ago...I’m glad now that I got the chance to know him, as not just my dad but my friend. He loved this town and everyone in it and I know it’ll never be the same without him. I’ll never be the same without him. I know made Dad made a difference here, helping people, protecting people...I just hope one day I can be as good a person as he was.”
~End Flashback~
Bella’s mum had stayed a few days and helped Bella sort out paperwork and Charlie’s house. Bella wanted to stay in Forks. Her mum had protested every way she could think of but Bella wouldn’t budge, she wanted to stay. Thank god because knowing she was my imprint I think it would kill me if she moved that far away whether I liked her or not.
Charlie didn’t own much but he had a small savings account and his house that went to Bella. So now Bella was moving back into Charlie’s house only Charlie wasn’t there anymore.
The problem was I didn’t know how to act around her anymore. Normally we’d be fighting but it felt cruel to fight with her after something like this. No one knew how to act around her really, all her friends from school said things that made me cringe...just things that people always say but don’t really mean. Jake was alright, he didn’t really know what to say but he could just hug her and sit with her and it was normal.
“Bella you’d better hand over that box before you fall flat on your face!” Leah called to Bella, who was coming out of the house with a box of what looked like Charlie’s old clothes. I glared at her. Was she crazy? How could she be so heartless...then I remembered, it was Leah.
She grabbed the box from Bella and dropped it into the back of her truck for her. Bella sort of smiled a thanks and then headed back inside. I caught Leah before she could follow.
“What are you doing? You shouldn’t be being mean to her.” I said.
“Yeah that was probably uncalled for. Not that’s Paul’s one to talk.” Jared agreed.
“Hey I’m not kicking her while she’s down!” I hissed at Jared.
“Look the one thing I wanted everyone to do after my dad died was for them to be normal. I didn’t want people pussying around me like they were afraid to make me cry.” Leah snapped. “So buck up and just go back to being normal and eventually she’ll feel better.”
Jared, Quil, Jake and I stood staring at her as she marched into the house to help Bella with her other two boxes. Come to think of it...Seth had been acting pretty normal around her too and Bella did seem to be talking to them more than the rest of us.
Bella POV
Leah came to grab the other two boxes from me and looked at me briefly.
“We good?” she asked. I nodded. “Good, so let’s heat up that dinner my mum made and get all those boys in here, one of them can run these boxes to the charity shop.”
“Sure.” I replied, I even smiled a little. I turned and put the oven on to warm up and then went to the fridge to dig out the pots of food from Sue Clearwater. This was easier, Leah didn’t particularly like me, I mean we weren’t best friends or anything but at least she didn’t feel the need to constantly be sympathetic around me. It made it easier to forget.
The light go out all around me,
One last candle to keep out the night,
And then the darkness surrounds me,
I know I’m alive but I feel like I’ve died...
Maybe forget was the wrong word, I’d never forget, the guilt would haunt me always. Charlie died because I got involved with the Edward after Edward himself had told me not to. I would have to live with that for the rest of my life, but on the other hand as Seth had pointed out to me, what would Charlie want me to be doing? So despite the lack of sleep due to even worse nightmares, despite the urge to cry every time I expected Charlie to walk through the front door and hang his gun up, I got up and went on with my dad. Day after day. He’d already been gone two weeks.
“So what are we watching tonight?” Seth asked, walking into the house. The rest of the pack followed, minus Sam and Emily who were on a private date.
“I’m pretty sure there’s a game on.” Jake said.
“No thanks.” I replied.
“Well...what dvds have we got?” he asked.
“Go look on the shelf next to the tv stand.” I told them. Paul reached out a hand to pinch a chip and I smacked his hand. “Can’t you wait five minutes?” He smirked and leant forward until he was really close to me, I glanced quickly away from his face. How did he make me this nervous?
“Nope.” He smirked, quickly tossing a chip into his mouth and heading into the front room.
“Hey!” I called after him. “You can’t have any now just for that!”
“Just for what?” Embry asked, walking back through the door and tossing my truck keys at me. I missed and they skidded across the side. I shrugged and left them there.
“Just Paul being and ass.” I replied.
“You’ll never guess what I just heard.” He said.
“What?” Jake asked, joining us.
“Sam and Emily’s private date, they’re planning their wedding. They’re going to get married next month!” he said.
“That’s great!” I said, genuinely glad to have some good news.
“Yeah, we all love an excuse to eat!” Jake grinned.
“Well the dinner’s ready to grab a plate and dish up whatever you want but make sure there’s enough to go around.” I smiled; this I could do.
“You’re too good to us Bells.” Jake said, putting his arm around me before grabbing a plate and tucking in. The others tucked in as well and then we all piled into the front room to watch the film.
And all that’s left is to accept that it’s over,
My dreams ran like sand through the fist that I made,
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder,
I feel like I’m slipping away...
Two weeks later....
I think my house had become a second home to the pack since Sam and Emily’s had become wedding central at the moment, not that I minded; having everyone around made it seem more homely any way. I hated it when they all left and the house was quiet.
“Will you just sit down and eat some damn lunch?!” Paul snapped at me.
“What crawled up your ass now?” I muttered.
“He’s got a point Bella you’re not eating enough.” Jake agreed. “We don’t want you getting ill now do we?”
“Fine.” I sighed, sitting down and picked up an apple from the table. “Happy?”
“Why couldn’t you just agree when I said it?” Paul huffed.
“Because you said it like a jack-ass.” I shrugged.
They were only looking out for me...I wasn’t really looking out for myself so I was glad someone was. Maybe that’s what I needed. Maybe I needed someone to look after me, for when I forget to...
Was it time to move on from Edward, try someone new? I glance across the table at Jacob, he sat there with his shirt off as usual, I’d gotten almost used to having half naked men in my house so I hadn’t been looking at him properly but he really was pretty good looking... I didn’t really see him that way but could I? If I tried, that is? Charlie always liked Jake and he would definitely look after me...
After all this has passed, I still will remain,
After I’ve cried my last, there’ll be beauty from pain,
Though it won’t be today,
Someday I’ll hope again,
And there’ll be beauty from pain...
So decision made I waited until everyone was leaving before I spoke to Jacob. He looked worried when I said I wanted to talk to him.
“Jake, I just wanted to ask you something.” I said, but it didn’t seem to make him any less uncomfortable. “I was thinking, you know when we went to the movies that night with Mike?”
“Yeah, I remember.” He replied.
“I was wondering if...if the offer was still open...to do it again sometime, with you?” I asked, averting my gaze from him.
“Bella...” he started.
Jacob POB
I looked at Bella in disbelief. Typical, just bloody typical...now the Paul has claim to her she wants me to go on a date with her.
“I can’t promise that I’ll feel that way from you but...I’m ready to move on now Jake and I thought it would be worth a try...to see if there was anything there.” She said quietly.
‘oh yeah, there was something there’ I thought, but I couldn’t tell her that. I couldn’t tell her about Paul’s imprint either because he asked me not to and there was absolutely no way I could go out with her now that we knew Paul had imprinted on her, it wasn’t fair to Paul or us. I cursed the fact that our minds linked when we phased. I had to turn the one girl I’d spent the past two years trying to get down.
“Bells...I don’t feel that way for you anymore.” I told her quietly. “You made it perfectly clear you weren’t interested and after a while I got over it.” She looked disappointed and hurt and I couldn’t keep looking at her. “Bella you’re my best friend; that will never change...but I might meet my imprint one day and then you’d be Leah...I can’t and I won’t do that to you.”
“It’s ok Jake.” She said softly, hugging me. “I just knew you were a good guy...you got first refusal.” I laughed at that but we both knew she was still a little hurt. I said my goodbye and left her to go to bed.
Bella POV
What’s wrong with me? What is so wrong with me that no one wants me? Am I undesirable...or just boring so all men get bored after five minutes? I sighed and went upstairs to bed. Maybe if I got some sleep my head wouldn’t be such a mess when I woke up.
I got changed and collapsed on my bed, unfortunately I couldn’t so much as close my eyes without picturing Charlie pinned against the wall by Riley... I shuddered and quickly wiped away the tears trying to fall before sitting up.
Maybe a bath to relax...
My whole world is the pain inside me,
The best I can do is just get through the day,
When life before is only a memory,
I’ll wonder why God let me walk through this place,
And though I can’t understand why this happened...

--Beauty from Pain by Superchick
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Now You're My Whole World