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.Repatriated	By : keithcompany Category: Titles in the Public Domain > Gulliver's Travels Views: 3308 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: This is a work fiction, based on Gullivers Travels by Jonathan Swift.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
Ritch suggested that the duchi take her carriage home to the Dollhouse, to supervise making the place ready for a guest.
Ted nodded, clipped Phoebe in place and started walking. There was only one lane set aside for walking giant feet so they went slowly in single file.
Arlene saw the carriage disappear around some buildings. Phoebe trilled through 'I'm Alright.' She moved closer to Ted's back.
"You're leading so I won't go too fast?" she asked.
"Until you're used to walking around here, yes."
She nodded. "Phoebe doesn't speak, heh, Englishman?"
"Nope."
"So we're effectively alone, if we speak English."
"Yes. And since you don't speak Fuscan, yet, we're alone."
"Okay." She nodded. There was a tight turn around a high-traffic circle. Once they were on the straight-away again, she spoke up.
"Your wife doesn't know the word 'lesbian.'"
"Well, I guess Gulliver didn't teach her that." She waited a moment until the penny dropped. "Wait, why did...? Is she accusing you of being a lesbian?"
"No. She was warning me off of having an intimate relationship with you. I was trying to tell her I'm not interested." She paused but Ted didn't respond.
"So, I told her that you're perfectly safe. I meant to, anyway." No comment came from the man before her.
"Hortense thought I was saying that we're both from Lesba." He was still silent, not even a chortle. She stopped walking and crossed her arms. When he was twenty feet in front of her, down to the next block, she did a taxi whistle.
He jumped and spun. She walked towards him. "Who are you imagining me with?"
"Wonder Woman," he said. On his shoulder, Phoebe was looking suspiciously back and forth between them.
"Nice choice," she said with a smile. She waved and he continued on. "Not many men would admit that right off."
"I figure I've got no reasons to keep any secrets from you," he said. "We may be here... A while."
"Have you tried to leave?"
"How many ten-inch dolphins have ever made it out of here? I think there's a magic shield of some sort. Very rarely does anyone get through."
"Makes sense," she said. "So anyway, can you explain to your wife? Wives?" She glanced up. "Women?"
She gave Phoebe a little wave. The woman smiled and waved back. Ted whispered something Fuscan onto his shoulder.
Phoebe giggled, then waved at Arlene once more.
"Does she understand?" she asked Ted.
"I think so," he said. He asked a question. Phoebe nodded, then turned around, facing forward. She looked over her shoulder and pointed at Arlene and herself several times, back and forth.
"Okay, you and me, little shoulder singer." The Blefuscan turned her back and wrapped her arms around to her own shoulders, giving the impression of a woman wrapped in a lover's arms, kissing and squeezing. Arlene giggled.
She turned around again, and pointed from Arlene to Ted's ear, back and forth.
"Me and the big guy, sure." She pantomimed kissing once more, then threw herself to the limit of her chain. Kneeling over the edge of his shoulder, she spat dramatically.
"Ptui! Ptui! Ptui!"
Arlene laughed so hard she had to stop walking. When she was under control, she stood. Ted waited patiently, a small smile on his face. Phoebe looked at her expectantly.
"Oh, she has it. Maybe not THAT bad, but she's got the idea." She held a fist up. The little woman looked at it, hovering before her. Ted spoke. Phoebe carefully bumped her fist against the giant woman's.
"Alright!"
----------
Ted's room had been tidied. Everything they could reach, anyway. He rushed in to take down some underwear from the end of the hammock, then invited her in.
She was suitably impressed with the arrangement. Until she estimated the capacity of the hammock. "Are we....?"
"Guests get the best room," he said. "I'll get the sleeping bag and the tent outside. I'll use the bathroom, but only when you're dressed or taking a bath."
"Oh, that would be nice," she said. "How often can you afford enough coal?" Ted shuffled to the side a bit. "What are you doing?"
"I’m making sure I'm not between you and the bath," he said, pointing to an open doorway. "When I say that there's a natural hot spring on the premises. That means...I'm talking to a closed door," he finished.
The wives laughed. He smiled. "Anyone surprised?" No one claimed they were. He knocked briefly. "Clean clothes on the hammock!" he said, putting his robe there.
He put Phoebe in her birdcage and went outside to set up the tent.
----------
With some minimal settling of the guest, wrapped in a towel and possessed of a wonderfully smug sense of well-being, Ritch wanted to row over to Blefuscu.
"There's this thing," she said. She stepped aside as a tub of hot cocoa was wheeled up.
Ted took it and handed it to Arlene. "Careful. There are two kinds of chocolate on this island. Dark and darker."
"Hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt," she said. Hort looked worried, but Ted didn't flinch.
"I JUST got home and you want to go see the businesses?" he asked.
"I think that today will be very educational," she said. The family looked at the guest in her mummy-state. She sipped happily and murmured to herself.
"Well, she's not going to move again," Hort said.
"Oh, we wouldn't want her," Ritch said. "Lots of talking in a language she lacks."
"Really?" Ted asked. "Okay. Take Phoebe?"
"Sure," Ritch said. Ted picked a box off of a shelf and handed it into the cage.
"Wait, what's going on?" Hort asked.
"Someone who speaks Englishman needs to stay here," Ritch explained. "And I really need the idiot over at First Coast Ship Builders."
"Oh, I suppose that makes sense," Hort admitted.
"Plus, our Lord and Master will be on another island when the dressmakers get here!" Ritch said happily.
Ted laughed. "You guys really don't have to work to guard me from temptation," he said.
"What?" Arlene asked.
"They're going to measure you for clothes," he said. "And the wives want me some distance away as hordes of tiny men crawl all over your naked body to see-"
"Treeordore Matlone!" Hortesnaed shouted, in English for Arlene's benefit. "You stop teasing that poor woman! The dressmakers are WOMEN!"
"Oh?" Arlene asked. Ted laughed.
"Now what?" Ritch asked.
"Just...count the dressmakers when they come in and as they leave," he said. "Make sure she didn't keep a guest....or a toy."
Phoebe laughed. Ted picked her up, clipped her in place and lifted his wife.
"Arlene, we have to go do business. Hort will take care of you. My staff will take care of you as if you were me. Maybe better," he said after a moment. "You haven't teased anyone yet."
---------
Ted pushed the raft into his usual slip and got out. Ritch was in his pocket. Phoebe was on his shoulder with the long chain and her costume.
He never made her go naked in Blefuscu. She had at least that much relief from total humiliation.
But he didn't want to appear too soft on her, for his and the King's sake. So she wore humbling costumes while on her native soil
Today she was a banana.
He barely stepped onto the shore when his shipyard foreman ran up. "Your Grace! Your Grace! It wasn't my fault! OR anyone's, sir! You can't... Please don't hurt the men, sir. Please."
"Giddy, I'm going to pick you up, so you and Ritch can be in the same conversation, okay?"
"As you wish, milord!" Ted bent slowly and took the anxious man in hand. Then held him next to the pocket. He removed his cap, nodded to the Duchess, stared at the banana for a moment.
"What happened, Giddifnapp?" Ritch asked.
"These men! They showed up! With lawyers. And some officers! They said they owned the shipyard, sir! And the law, it said they were right!"
"Well, from what I understand, they have more than half of the stock," Ted said cheerfully.
"The men, they don't want to work for these men, sir. I mean, our men, I mean your men, they, the new men, they aren't our favorite bosses, sir, not like you."
"I would hope not," Ted said.
"But... It's the day before payday, sir. The men... They were counting on the paychecks. So the men, the new men-"
"I think we can follow the general flow, Giddifnapp," Ritch said kindly. "Just talk."
"Right, your Graceness, right." Ritch rolled her eyes at the Teddism, but Giddy kept talking. "Well, they said our men could work for the new company and get a bonus or they could be fired.
"They can't go without those paychecks, sir. They didn’t want to work for these guys, but the money..."
"Ah. I quite understand," Ted said. "And no one's to blame." He held Giddy a bit closer and more securely. "Let's go have a conversation with the men."
-----------
Ted stepped to the gates at the front of First Coast Ship Builders. He lowered Giddy to the ground, then lifted his wife and pet down. Ritch took some forms and headed for the front office. A line of soldiers appeared and blocked her way.
She smiled and stood there patiently.
Giddy stepped to the gate. A man in a business suit looked from him to the big clock on the tower in the corner of the yard. He shook his head disapprovingly.
Giddy sagged, but Ritch winked at him.
Phoebe stood to the side. Her Blefuscu chain stretched long enough to hang from Ted's belt. She looked around to see if she recognized anyone.
More soldiers marched to the gate and blocked it. The man in the suit stepped in behind them.
"This was a legal takeover, Duke!" he shouted. He saw Ritch out of the corner of his eye. She was making a measuring motion with her fingers. "Inside it," she mouthed silently.
Greie flinched. Then turned back up to his opponent. "The King expects everyone to obey his laws. When you trade in stocks, you're actually allowing people to own part of your company. When we own more than half the stocks, we're essentially the-"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen Working Girl," Ted said. He raised his voice. "Can I get all the workers over here, please?"
"You can't interfere with the workers!" Greie insisted. "It's-"
"Shut your hole," Ted said. Fitters and carpenters cheered, silencing as the new manager spun around.
"Get him off the premises!" Greie told the soldiers.
"Um..." the sarge started to protest.
"Do it!"
"Sir, he IS off the premises." He pointed. Ted's feet were in the street. His shadow just stretched across the working area.
The men building the ships were mostly collected in the receiving area. They looked up expectantly.
"There's been a bit of a confusion," Ted said. "This gentleman has gained control of the shipyard. That's a fact. An unfortunate possibility when you trade company property openly. See the-"
"Ahem!" Ritch shouted.
"Ah. You don't care about that. Well, here's something you do care about. None of you work for First Coast."
"You can't fire them!" Greie shouted.
"I haven't. But neither can you. See, guys, when we wrote your contracts, you weren't hired by First Coast. Rather, you were all hired by Wayne Enterprises."
He smiled as if that explained everything. It did, but not to most of the men that weren't in on the joke.
The men stared up. Greie started to pale. The sarge scratched his head. Phoebe wandered around in a manner just like that of a bored banana.
"You might want to explain a teensy bit more, milord," Ritch said.
"Okay. First Coast was incorporated to own this shipyard. The company owns the ground, owns the docks, owns the ways and the slips and the cranes and-"
"GET ON WITH IT!" someone in the crowd yelled. Ted didn't see who it was when they shouted, but he did see five men trying to shut another one up.
"Okay. Wayne Enterprises is the company that owns the other shipyards. And used to own this one. And owns the- Well. It's the company that hired you, and makes you come here to work.
"That means the takeover didn't get you. So. Everyone that gets paid out of the green box on payday, you guys are Group Green. Tomorrow, you report to Tidewater Boats."
There was a stunned silence.
"Everyone who gets paid out of the red lockbox, Group Red, you go to Keels And Things.
"Blue lockbox, blue payday, show up for work at Boats R Us."
"You can't do this!" Greie screamed.
"This is why the yards run at sixty percent," Ritch said. She walked over to show him a copy of someone's contract. "He said this would happen. And we'd need the room to move our workers to."
"Who said?" Greie asked. She hooked a thumb into the sky. Ted was answering questions about who or what owned the tools, the materials, the tea room.
"Your Grace!?!" someone shouted a question. Ted thought it just might be Mr. Get On.
"Yes?"
"Pardon for asking, sir, but who owns Wayne Enterprises?"
"I own twenty percent," Ted said. "My wife owns twenty. And my wife owns twenty." A few hundred eyes dropped down to the banana. "No, no, no. The other forty percent is the King and the Queen."
There was a thoughtful silence. "You guys mad that you work for four Lilliputians born?" A few nodded.
Mr. Get On shouted, "I could have happier news."
"Well, how's this? The new owners were under no legal obligation to pay you a bonus. And you're under no legal obligation to pay it back."
"What?" Greie asked softly, looking up from squinting at the small print. Ritch had sneered at the suggestion of such a ruse, but found it was rather satisfying to watch.
Or maybe that was just Greie's sour expression?
"And," Ted went on, "if the man takes you to court for the money, he's essentially suing the King."
Cheering men ran through the gates. Greie paled and staggered into the office.
"Mr. Giddifnapp," he started to say, "We need to-" That man was standing up, some belongings in a box.
"Green box on payday, sir," he said as he walked to the door. "See you around." He stopped on the steps. "I could put a good word in for you at Tidewater, sir?"
Greie growled. Giddy left.
Outside, the giant was walking slowly down the road, letting his banana take some exercise.
--------
They slept in the raft that night, to be at the other ship yards bright and early.
Ted's days of searching and transporting the giant monster caught up with him. He was asleep about the time he lay down.
Ritch kissed Phoebe, then curled up under Ted's chin. One hand on his skin, one under her head as a pillow, she was soon snoring along with him.
Phoebe smiled down at the two indulgently, but was too wired to sleep. She was home. She was clipped to her jailor's collar, but the chain reached....
She jumped down and walked along the beach. The beach of home. Blefuscu was coming back to life. She was helping.   They asked her opinions of neighborhoods, trends, and if she knew of any intel about businesses.
That was the 'walkies' bit. People pressed notes and memos into her hand, she stuffed them inside the costume. An informal intelligence service, but it was intel.
Ritch giggled every time she got another basketful out of the laundry. Hort thanked her formally and Ted tickled her belly like a good puppy.
Here, people trusted Ted because he took care of his little rebel. They saw her costume as an eccentricity on his part.
But if she saw someone on the street that she knew, or wanted to know, he'd pause and give her a chance to hug, talk, buy fruit from a vendor.
She was digging a hole in the sand with her toes when three shadows rushed up. She turned and ran for the raft, gathering the chain in as she went.
"Jussifer!" a voice hissed behind her.
Phoebe kept running. Then she realized what she'd heard. She kept gathering links, but she slowed, coming to a stop at the side of the raft.
She turned around.
"Jussifer? What's the matter with you?"
"Who are you?" she asked.
"We're here to help you." They were close. By the moonlight she saw three faces she didn't recognize. Hard looking men.
"Help me by telling me who you are?"
"We're Patriots for Blefuscu Freedom," one said. "We're breaking you out of bondage."
"Don't you mean Blefuscan Patriots for Freedom?" she asked.
"Oh, right, right," one acknowledged.
"We seldom use the term, really," another explained.
"On account we're so compartmentalized," the third finished.
"But surely you still say the oath?" she asked.
"Right, right," the one repeated.
"When we're not on an operation."
"Or undercover."
"That would be an operation."
"Our undercover steady identities allow us to go unnoticed until the operation."
They struck Phoebe as actors rehearsing their motivations, not freedom fighters. And 'operation' was a term for what the counter-rebel forces did. Not the BPFF's missions.
These guys were not rebels. Not in her old organization, anyway.
Being a suspicious sort, she suspected Ritchasska's old boyfriend was trying for revenge.
She leaned back and shouted, "CRAB!"
Back in the Islands, they needed a word to get Ted out of a deep sleep for rescues. The Englishman word was quick, often accurate, and went straight to his spine.
The three men took a step back from her, then started to rush forwards.
There was an 'Eep!' somewhere overhead. Oh. Ritch was probably pitched around a bit.
She remembered to let go of the loops of chain before they yanked her fingers. Then she was lifted, just as two hands started to touch her. They trailed down the suit.
Phoebe kicked one in the face, hit the other in maybe the shoulder.
"What is it?" Ted asked. Even his lousy eyesight picked out the dark forms on the light sand as they turned to run away. He lifted an oar and smashed it down three times.
"Um... Should I have taken one alive?" he asked after a moment.
"No," Phoebe and Ritch told him.
"They wouldn't have been told the name of their employer," Phoebe explained.
Ted levered the bodies up on the oars and flung them out to sea. An accuser wouldn't be able to find the victims. And if no one was watching, no one would know there were victims to find.
They welcomed the men to the shipyards in the morning, went walkies along a different street, then went home.
When they got there, Arlene was inside the tent. Her bare feet poked out of the opening as they walked up.
"Those feet look angry," Ritch observed. Ted agreed and veered around them to go inside.
"That woman is insane!" someone shouted from the table. A dozen strange women were fighting with Hort. She was trying to calm, placate or silence them one at a time.
Ted cleared his throat and sat at the bench. "What?"
"Your giant friend, your Grace, doesn't understand the simplest of instructions."
"I told you she doesn't speak Fuscan," Hort said.
"But even with laborious translations and gestures and women demonstrating for the woman, she refuses to... Well, she's simply insane!"
"I'd appreciate it if you refrained from ever saying that word about Arlene," Ted said. "Ever."
He lowered his wife and banana to the table. Dressmakers goggled, then returned to their theme.
"Her demands, though! They're... They're..."
Ted beckoned Hort up close. "Did Gulliver not leave behind a list of words for ladies lingerie?" he asked. He had to use English for the last word. Hort stared.
"Okay. So what she wants, she can't express. And what they want to make for her, she doesn't want."
"Exactly!"
"Okay. Okay. Let's start with the basics," he said. "Can you make a pair of panties?"
"She wants a...thong."
"Great! Less material. Pretty straightforward, right?"
"It's insulting to a craftsman!" someone shouted. Ted rolled his eyes.
"One Duke says the thong is the first thing to make," he said, raising his hand.
His wives immediately raised theirs. "Duchess!" "Duchess!"
The louder of the dressmakers blushed, showing an angry expression.
"Okay, and can you make a bra?"
"What is a bra, darling?"
"Um..." He cast his mind back. All the times they'd stripped down to... Oh, my, they don't wear bras, he thought. Just bands of cloth. Gravity doesn't weigh as heavily on them as it does on Arlene.
And she didn't have one to demonstrate...
"This will take diligence, lots of conferencing and an iron will to get exactly right," he said. "Call Ike. It's D Day. Well, Double-D Day."
"I heard that!" Arlene snapped at the door.
"Sorry," he said. "I was just guessing."
"Oh, you're right." She moved to sit beside him on the bench. "But wait until I know enough Fuscan to tell your wives you were talking about my assets."
"Can we just punish him now?" Hort asked.
Ted held out a hand. "Come on, Ritch. Let's go get your mother."
"What are you talking about?" Arlene asked.
------
Arlene would just not stop giggling at the idea of a tiny little female general. "Eisenhower!" she'd chortle while they were waiting.
"Oh, gosh, nothing against you or your people, Hortense..." More giggling. "But seriously! This big! And Ted pretends to be afraid of her!"
Hort smiled indulgently. She restricted herself to a single 'just you wait.' Then they started language lessons.
Arlene was an even quicker study than Ted, though her pronunciation was poorer. Hort despaired of ever getting the woman to roll her q's.
"Well, you'll just have to avoid calling on bishops," she finally said. "Now, there are seven vowels that you..."
A commotion outside drew their attention. Horses neighed and grooms shouted and wagons creaked.
Ted opened the door and a train rolled through to park under the hammock. He followed the last one and shut the door. Ritch and Testy were in his pocket.
Ike was already shouting orders when she was placed down on the table. "Get the measuring tapes deployed! I want ten women on each, we don’t want any slack in a critical measurement! Hello, Hortesnaed, you look lovely.
"Oh, you hired Fiztcketeroll, I see. You're so brave to ignore fashion. Well, you're dismissed. Yes, you are. All of you. I'm sure the big idiot will pay you handsomely for one day of wasting his time. Leave your card at the door.
"I brought my own people, darling. I don't know why you didn't call. Why are the grooms still here? Unhitch the horses and get out. OUT! Men out! Horses out!
"Oh, look at HER! What a lovely shade of skin. Is it contagious? I think I'd like to look like that for a while. Wear black and sneak up on the maids from shadows.
"Why is she wearing a man's robe, though? It does nothing for her. Tell her to take it off, we need to see what we're working with.
"Why is she giggling? STRIP, woman! What's the problem? Then tell her to get her clothes off! Honestly! We have so much to do, and...
"Oh, what a pretty voice! I didn't think giants could have a pretty voice. The volume's not too lady-like. We'll have to make sure she whispers at Court. What is she saying?
"Well, if she won't strip with Ted in the room GET TED OUT OF THE ROOM! Go! GO! I will take a switch to you, young...Ah, that's better.
"Now, if there are no more silly objections? Let's go down to the floor. Oh, wait, call Ted back in. Well, have her call him.
"Oh, dear, that's about as feminine as a cannon exploding. She cannot raise her voice near the Royals. She simply cannot.
"Ted! Move the bench out of the way, we need floor space. No, no, out of the way. Well, then take it outside! Oh, and then come back.
"Why isn't she laughing anymore? What was so damned amusing, anyway? Fine, then, don't tell me.
"Ted, as long as you're here, lift us all down to the floor, without those dreary steps. Because I trust you. I hear she's leery about touching Lilliputians. I don't want to be her training dummy.
"There's a good lad. Now get the zuck out.
"Oi! You. Down here. DOWN. HERE! There's a girl. Take off that ridiculous robe. Off. Not open, take it...
"Oh.
"Oh. My.
"Those are going to be a challenge, aren't they? You were so right to call on me, child. Ted's idea? Well, even an idiot can trip over a gold coin once in a while.
"Tell her... Tell her to relax. She's in good hands."
--------
The Baron and his son could not manage to hire any workers for what used to be First Coast.
When it was clear that no one on Blefuscu wanted to work for them, and no one on Lilliput wanted to move to Blefuscu, not for the wages the Baron was willing to pay, they cannibalized the yards.
Ironically, the only one in a position to purchase the unused rope, lumber, fittings and so on were the chandlers that Ted and Co. owned.
They didn't get top dollar, but at least they got some money.
Then they found that the tax incentives were a deal with the Duke, not a standard practice. With tax day looming, they became desperate.
Ritchasska sent them an offer to buy their stock. She was only interested in enough so that Wayne Enterprises would have 51% of the company, and she only offered about half of what they'd paid.
"Take it," the Baron told Greie.
"We should hold out until they'll buy all our stock!" Greie protested.
"They won't. They're teaching us a lesson. We'll be allowed to continue to profit from the giant's businesses, but only if we play nice.
"The sooner we learn to invest in Blefuscu, rather than exploit it, the happier we'll be. At least, that's their view on the matter.
"You..." Greie looked at his father. "You get all that from an offer to purchase stock?"
"No," the Baron sighed. "I get that from the message she couriered over here when they made the offer."
--------
Ted spent a bit of time giving his pet walks in various Blefuscan cities. The grapes and the cabbage and the carrot were getting an interesting picture of Blefuscan life.
The Patriots were coming to enjoy the Duke and Duchi's attitudes, and their money, coming into the nation.
They had officially decided to let the ventures alone.
But new Patriots were trying to instigate acts against the 'foreign born businesses.' The 'infiltrations of alien ideas.'
The only alien idea any of the rebels could identify, though, was Blefuscans being in charge of Blefuscans.
And when Wayne Enterprises started offering shipyard stocks to the employees, people started to migrate.
Blefuscans were in charge of Lilliputians.
--------
The King and Queen lounged in the conversation pit. Arlene, still learning her Presentation speech, sat in the carved rock and tried to behave.
Ted sat against the wall and smiled reassuringly.
Hort sat on Arlene's shoulder, whispering translations. Arlene was following the gist, but details were good, too.
"So, Ted, what are you doing about these fake rebels?" the Queen asked.
"Nothing," he said.
"Nothing?"
"Don't need to. The things the real rebels were fighting against, the exploitation, the lack of jobs, the zucked economy. Those are getting fixed.
"Anyone saying they still need to be out there, crushing the oppressors, they're going to get laughed at."
"Except for the Barons," Ritch said. "If they continue the way they have been, the fake rebels are going to get their businesses burned down, not ours."
"So change is coming, one way or another," the King said happily. He raised a glass. Others raised glasses or wine barrels and drank.
--------
Ted and Arlene hosted the First Annual Two-Nation Teenaged Chess Championship at the Dollhouse.
The top 32 qualifying players of Lilliput played the top 32 of Blefuscu in vicious competition.
In addition to trophies, they were allowed to choose their positions in order of their final rankings.
Donning costumes of the chess pieces, the 64 participants became the pieces for a game between the two giants.
Due to the participants and the occasion, Arlene went easy on Ted. Still, by the time he surrendered, everyone knew who the top player in the room was. The English phrase 'You really wanna do that?' was popular in boarding schools for the next two years.
Arlene beamed at the cheers. So did Ted.
After the winners and loser got their cake and sherbet, Ted escorted everyone to the carriages taking them and their families home or to the docks.
The Blefuscans were among the first to use the new cross-channel ferry system Ted had put into service out of Mildendo.
When he returned to the Dollhouse, he saw men in Testy's livery watering some horses. He veered over to the side of the house and sat down against the wall.
Squealing sounds burst from inside. He rose and stepped to the door, then hovered in indecision. He finally braved a knock.
Arlene opened the door and smiled at him. "Look! Look!"
"I... am looking, Arlene."
"It's a BRA!"
"I'm well aware of that."
"I've got SUPPORT!" She twisted back and forth. "See? No bounce."
"Well... Not NO bounce," he corrected.
She ignored him, spinning in place. "And the straps! I've never FELT so comfortable!"
"It is a custom job," he mumbled. The second time she spun around, the drawstring on her pants started to loosen. Just in time, Ted recalled that they had not provided any sort of panties yet.
He covered both eyes with both hands. There was a rustle, a surprised yelp and gasps from the grooms behind him.
Finally, the door slammed. He breathed again. He didn't lower his hands, though. Not until the door opened again. "It's safe," Arlene said.
"You mean my wives aren't home?"
She laughed. "No, I mean they saw you cover your eyes in time. They do want to talk to you about the drooling."
"I did not drool," he said. He pretended to surreptitiously wipe his lips as he lowered his hands. She was back in his robe. She laughed once more and stepped back.
He entered and immediately dropped to his knees at the end of the table, lowering his forehead. "I beg pardon, most grovellingly, for any offense that I may have offered, and fling myself freely on the generous mercy of my wife and my wife, gloriously trusting women who know, deep in their hearts that-"
"Oh, shut the zuck up," Hort said.
"We have no interest in those things and WE were staring," Ritch said cheerfully.
"You're forgiven this once," Hort decreed.
"Wouldn't this count as twice?" Ritch asked.
"What do you mean?"
"As big as they are, as big as his eyes got, I think we have to forgive him twice for staring."
"How about we forgive him once, for now, and wait on this evening to see if he can earn a second forbearance from the two of us?"
"Three!"
"Of course, Phoebe! Sorry!"
"But that..." Ritch hesitated.
"Yes?"
"That means we'd have to sleep in the TENT! Outside! Where the bugs and animals are!"
"And the big giant...um, giant. The giant is out there. Or he will be."
"Ah. Outstanding and compelling logic. So let it be."
--------
Lilliputian editors used their paper columns to question the practice of allowing the workers to own stock.
"Unlettered men now hold fiscal power over their own bosses. Can no one see the chaos of such a practice?"
Blefuscan editors pointed out that money spends. It doesn't care if the buyer or the vendor can spell 'vigorous economy.'
--------
Several of the Blefuscan properties of four Lilliputian Barons burned in one night. Bodies were found inside.
The Barons demanded investigations. Authorities determined that the bodies were the arsonists, trapped in their own crimes.
Blefuscan Patriots denied any involvement. But they did wonder about the suddenly silent provocateurs that had claimed to be Patriots.
Lilliputian forensics were unable to distinguish if any of the rather over-burned bodies had died in a fire or been beaten to death a couple of times, then stuffed into basements filled with incendiary sap.
------
Lilliputian papers started to carry editorials that questioned the appropriateness of creating a Duke out of a giant.
It seemed that an ancient law on the books required the upper layers of the aristocracy to establish stable legacies.
If a Duke was unable to produce an heir in five years, the reigning monarch had the right to attach the duchy.
It was actually the impetus behind the invention of formal adoption in Lilliput.
The mechanics of size-gap sex, reproductive or otherwise, became a talking issue in pubs on both islands.
------
An early solution to part of Arlene's wardrobe challenge was found when she could finally express a preference for trousers to the little general.
Seven dress designers who had been frantic to try to maintain femininity, dignity, grace and also barriers against anyone looking up to see the wearer's ankles, celebrated with a party that was only rivaled by stories of Ted's bachelor party.
------
Lilliputian and Blefuscan papers carried a notice put out by the King. An even more ancient law required all members of the aristocracy be ready and able to supply the Crown with an army. The higher the rank, the larger the military force.
Traditionally, the kings and queens of Lilliput had been willing to accept monies instead of men. But they didn't have to.
Starting on the third day after the announcement, any single Duke, Count, Viscount, Baron or Baronette might be invited to parade their military unit before the Palace.
Attendance was mandatory, monies would not be accepted in place this demonstration of filial devotion to the ancient laws of this great land of blah, blah, blah. Although the fines levied for failure could be paid off. The steep, steep fines.
------
Editorials in Blefuscu wondered just how much it cost to field a company of infantry. Uniforms, weapons, training, horses for the officers.
------
Lilliput papers shut up about the Duke's legacy.
------
At Arlene's presentation to Court, the King made a big speech about welcoming her, about his confidence that she would soon be at home in her new home, and that The Duke-Duch-Duch spoke highly of her so he trusted her implicitly.
And created her a Baronette.
A livid queen demanded an explanation.
The King was concerned that she had not yet assimilated as well as Duke Giant. She hadn't had as much time and she barely spoke Fuscan.
Her Majesty called him seven kinds of idiot and three kinds of sexist. And Created Arlene a Duchess, lands to be determined later. Arch looks across the throne room promised further vilification if the King so much as peeped in protest.
------
Lilliputian papers had editorials supporting the King's attempt at restraint.
------
Blefuscan papers countered by asking what had gone wrong with Duking the first giant?
------
Lilliput editors advanced the fear that too many new dukes would cheapen the office.
------
Blefuscan editors replied that more dukes like The Ted could only reflect highly on the office and those that created her. Or them.
------
In private, the King and Queen read the papers to each other. They determined that Her Royal Majesty came out slightly ahead on points.
His Majesty was a gracious loser.
------
Ted appeared in Mildendo Square at sunrise, three days after the King's announcement.
He wore his dress robes, with Arlene's diving belt around his waist.
Tied to that bulky baldric was a Naval Issue sword. Observers had to look diligently to find it on his person.
The King came out on his balcony and asked the Duke his business.
He claimed to be the First Infantry Company of Cashpierent Mountains. Armed, trained and ready to literally piss retribution down on any enemies of the Crown, both foreign and domestic.
"I even have a sword... Somewhere," he mumbled, patting his pockets and chest. Cheering people in the crowd shouted helpful suggestions so the infantryman might find his weapon.
His Majesty said he was satisfied with the Duchy's commitment to the defense of the realm, and his military puissance. He saluted and dismissed the unit under the control of its officers.
"Right, sire! Thank you, sire! Cooooooommmmmmmpany, left FACE!" Ted spun and marched off, shouting an incomprehensible cadence.
Something about women with mustaches and where they could be found. Or maybe not.
----------
"We need to marry," Arlene said. She came out of the tub room and slid onto the bench.   Ted lifted a 30-egg omelet onto her plate and poured some milk.
"We do?" he asked. The Duchi froze over their breakfasts and stared at the giant woman.
"Yes. So we can get divorced, and as the wife, I get the house."
Ted lifted a scrap of bacon up to his shoulder and fed Phoebe. "You mean, you get the bath."
"It is the best part of the house," she said.
He glanced down and mouthed, 'kidding' to Hort and Ritch. They started eating again. "Well, the Royal Surveyors are looking for a hot spring."
"I know..." Phoebe started to say. Ted stopped eating and glanced at her. "Um. For Arlene. I know EEP!"
Ted unclipped her and placed her on the table between the humans. Both looked down curiously.
"I... I know where hot springs are. Even hotter than your bath, Ted!"
"Okay," Ted said immediately. "Quickie wedding, Vegas style divorce, but I get to use the bath until my new house is completed."
"Suck it, bitch, I'm the new Duchess. I get the hotter, I mean the newer bath." She turned to the wives and mouthed 'not kidding.'
"Oi!" Ritch shouted. "Maybe find out WHERE the bathtub will be located?"
Everyone looked down at Phoebe again. She was looking at the table, twisting one foot on tiptoe. For a woman that spent days naked in crowds, she was oddly shy of a sudden.
"What is it, honey?" Arlene asked.
"It's, uh, it's on the far side of Blefuscu."
"How far?" Ritch asked. Her eyes were unfocused as she tried to remember a hot spring from her atlas class.
"Boiritesse."
Arlene and Ted both looked to the Duchi. Hort shrugged and looked at Ritch. Ritch finally noticed the stares. She shrugged, then got up and ran to the stairs.
Ted caught her in mid stride and lifted her to the floor with her office. She hit the ground running and came back with a map.
Ted handed that to Phoebe and the giants leaned overhead. The little woman pointed to a peninsula sticking out from the shore. It was on the coast, across the island, the farthest from Mildendo one could get and still be on Blefuscu.
"Huh," Ted said. "I don't think I've ever been there."
"No one goes there," Phoebe said. She was still...subdued.
"What's there?" Hort asked.
"Road trip?" Ted asked.
"Road trip," Arlene nodded.
"What's a road trip?" Ritch asked.
"Everyone gets in the raft and we go see Boiritesse."
"Everyone?" Hort and Ritch asked together. They tried so hard not to glance suspiciously at Arlene that Ted burst into laughter.
"I think we can let business run itself for a bit. So everyone can offer an opinion on Arlene's apartment hunting. So. If we leave..."
"Tomorrow is payday," Ritch pointed out. Ted nodded.
"Kay. We row over first thing, make sure no problems, then start seriously rowing north..."
"Both of us rowing!" Arlene insisted.
"Sure."
"Around the island?" Ritch asked. "Wouldn't walking be faster?"
"The way this guy waves to the crowds?" Hort snorted. "You and I could row that raft faster than he can walk through new neighborhoods."
"Hey!"
"Oh, you know it's true, my dear."
"Yeah, but... Well, anyway, let's get packing."
-----
Just before they reached Boiritesse from the sea, they faced forbidding cliff of some volcanic stone.
A few tufts of grass were visible at the top and a tiny strip of gravel served as a beach.
"Not too cheerful," Arlene judged.
"No, no, no!" Phoebe protested. "Give it a chance! Please? Just... Just around the horn! Please!"
Her behavior for the last three days had been kind of erratic. She seemed excited about the trip, but anxious about the arrival.
She was dressed as a gigantic Lilliputian sparrow, or an Englishman sparrow on the small side. But instead of cute, she looked bedraggled.
Arlene shipped her oars, then reached into the mug and lifted the pet to her face. "I am certainly not judging the city, little one." She stroked the agitated head. "I'm just saying these cliffs, right here, look..."
"Dour," Ted offered.
"This entire peninsula is suspected to be the remains of a huge volcano of distant antiquity," Ritch announced. She closed her reference book. "I've never heard of a cheerful volcano."
"True," Ted agreed. He kept rowing, taking them towards the tip of the land. Ritch and Hort watched with small smiles as Arlene kept trying to calm Phoebe. "But I'm keeping my hopes up for... For... Wow."
The harbor appeared in a flash as the two walls of stone appeared to part like doors. The sun was directly overhead when they arrived and sparkled off of...everything.
Off-white walls of buildings climbed up from the very shore to the top of the cliffs. Dirty red roofs covered most of them, though they were in disrepair. And turquoise tiers seemed artfully arranged between buildings, though their purpose was unapparent.
The water sparkled, clear all the way to the white-sand bottom. A waterfall on one side sprayed over a few roofs, drizzling down to the harbor.
"Oh, it's like Greece," Arlene breathed. She swept off her pants and blouse, adjusted her swimsuit a bit and dove over the side.
Ted brought the raft into the channel and up to the one clear spot among the buildings. A few remains of some piers poked up out of the water. He dropped anchor and lifted the women over to the shore.
Arlene surfaced with a smile about as big as her face. She reached out with a wet finger to rub at the roof of a house. The dirt came off to reveal a bright and shiny red color.
"Oooh," she breathed. She reached down to clean the walls. As her hand passed a window, three people ran out the other side.
They screamed in terror and plunged down a dirt-crusted staircase. They crowded around the landing and one figure was pushed over the rail.
Arlene's hand shot out to catch it. The other two wailed on the stairs.
Ted lifted Hort and Ritch up to the landing. They were saying something soothing even as he put them down.
The wailing continued.
On his shoulder, Phoebe shouted something. Everyone turned when they realized no one understood it. But the wailing stopped.
Arlene held her fist over the landing and relaxed her grip. A young woman rolled off her palm to land on all fours, crouched to take off running again.
The two on the stairs looked to be an older couple. They were staring at Phoebe.
They turned to look around at the giants and the nobles every so often, but they mostly looked at Phoebe.
"Something you would like to share with the group, sweetheart?" Arlene asked.
"There's a local dialect. I... I told them you were friends and not to worry. I told them... I said I was home."
"Oh." Arlene thought about that for a second. "These are your...?"
"Probably cousins," she said softly. "Or second cousins."
"You're from here?" Hort asked. Phoebe nodded.
Ritch turned to look up at Ted's face. "There's a spare set of clothes in the pocket. I was prepared for some running around."
"Quite," Ted agreed. He unclipped the chain and dropped the costumed woman in the pocket. "Do they understand regular Fuscan?"
"Depends on how scared I am," the man said. He offered a sheepish grin. "When the house started to shake, and we saw a hand reaching for us..."
"I was trying to..." Arlene dropped her excuse. "I'm sorry. I should have realized it was a home."
"No harm," the woman said. She beckoned and the girl ran to her arms. Hort and Ritch tried to look non-threatening. Arlene sank a bit in the water.
He felt a tug on his shirt and lifted Phoebe to the landing. She smiled thankfully, then stared as he took the clip off of her harness.
"Okay, Jussifer," he said. "I don’t want any funny business. No escapes, no explosions, no kidnapping and no threats on Arlene's virtue. Understand?"
She didn’t move. Ritch giggled. "She says, 'no.'"
Hort elbowed her partner in the arm and stepped to take the pet's hands. "Just relax and be at home, okay? Like a furlough. Supervised, but not too supervised."
"I... I...thank you, milord." She turned to the locals and fired off a string of words. The language was fluid, kind of like a drunk Islander trying to sing a lively tune in Fuscan.
Ted helped Arlene up into the cleared area. They looked around, seeing tiny faces in windows.
Ted looked at the turquoise terraces. With a little care, he found footholds and climbed up the city cliff.
"Oh, hey! Water!" he said from the top. He moved out of sight.
Arlene sat on the stone landing, legs dangling in the harbor. Tiny fish schooled around her feet.
Ritch leaned on the rail and looked across at the giant woman. She was already looking at the harbor with a proprietary gleam in her eye.
"Arlene?" Phoebe called.
"What?" She rose and stepped closer.
"This is Sisit, my second uncle through my mother's sister. His wife, Gueesta, who is a third cousin up one from my father's other wife. And their daughter, Teefas."
"It's a pleasure to meet you," Arlene said. "And I'm sorry I scared you." They exchanged polite nods.
Teefas spoke something in the local patois. Arleen looked to Phoebe.
"She wants to know if the giants are going to fix the waterfall."
The Lilliputian's eyes turned to the water falling down on some of the houses. Just as they did, the flow stopped.
"Watch out below!" Ted shouted. Water started to course over a turquoise terrace. Each blue tier was a pool, catching water from above and spreading it to two other spots.
The water started out dark, carrying ancient mud, but soon flowed clearly. It sparkled and danced, washing away dust collected in the pools.
People shouted in glee and came out of their houses to play and splash and clap.
Arlene gasped and smiled.
"That was a lot of blockage," Ted said from above. "Where's the water going?"
"Shouldn't you have KNOWN before you let it?" Hort shouted. He shrugged. "Idiot," she hissed. Arlene laughed.
------
The King heartily approved of a duchy in the remote part of the nation. At least, once their full plan was explained behind the waterfall.
Arlene wanted a college. She was going to start small, an institute for marine studies in the waters off her new home. She'd do some research, with help from students, and teach them what she knew.
Boiritesse has been a resort, long, long ago. Much like England's Bath, the waters were held to be healing. She planned to build a resort around the spa, using the money to support the school, and some day the university.
Ted's contribution was a plan to build a giant-capable road from Blefuscu (the capital city of Blefuscu) to Boiritesse. For labor, he suggested hiring Lilliputians from holdings that needed some cash.
Some of his more friendly peers in Parliament would get the first chance to form traveling road-building camps and contract for part of the great road.
Blefuscans would build hostels and hotels along the road to supply stops for travelers.
And while the road was being built, Ted's ferries would carry workers and materiel to Boiritesse for the new Dollhouse.
The hot spring was above the lake that fed the waterfall. When Arlene wasn't using the water for a bath, it simply fed into the lake, supporting a unique ecology of luke-warm-water fish she couldn't wait to study.
And Ted formally asked for the King's permission for Arlene to take possession of Phoebe.
"Not forever," he said. "Just long enough to teach her the local language. Dialogue with the people, put her right with local customs, that sort of thing."
"Because no one else on the peninsula can do that for her?" the Queen asked with a smile.
"Well, maybe someone gets some time at home..." Hort said with a smile.
"Boiritesse was Phoebe's idea," Arlene said. "I'd like to thank her. A lot."
"We will assume that the birdcage will travel with her? And she will not have any opportunity to become a threat to the realm?" he said officiously. Behind his head, the Queen pantomimed agreement.
"Yes, sire," everyone promised.
One and a half miles away, Phoebe sat up in her bed. "Why are my ears so hot?" she asked aloud.
------
Too excited to wait for even the ground breaking, Arlene packed all her belongings, one tent and the loaned birdcage, and asked Ted for a ride across the channel.
He smiled and handed her an oar.
"What?   What's that for?"
"You dip it into the water," he said, pantomiming. "Then you move it, and the raft moves in a reaction to the amount of force-"
"HIT HIM!" Ritch shouted from the table.
"With THE OAR!" Hort added. She smiled at them and turned to glare.
"I have permission to kick your ass," she pointed out.
"The raft doesn't have keys," he explained.
"Okay, it doesn't lock. I don't think even a motivated joy rider is going to steal...Oh! You're giving me the ... The not-keys to the raft?"
"I'm giving you the raft. They delivered a rowboat yesterday. I figure this'll be easier to use until you can get a dock built."
"I... I don't... I can't...."
"Take it!" Phoebe shouted.
"Take it!" Hort echoed.
"Hit him!" Ritch repeated. "Sorry, TAKE IT!"
"Shut up, you!" Ted snarled.
"I, uh, thanks. For everything."
"It's not goodbye," he said. "Just get out." She smiled, grabbed his head and kissed him.
Then she lifted the cage and held her hand out. Phoebe kissed Hort and Ritch goodbye then jumped into the waiting palm.
Arlene lifted her new ward to Ted's face. He kissed the little pet and whispered, "Take good care of her."
"I will," she whispered back.
Then he lifted her for a quick hug and put her in the cage. In English, he told Arlene, "Take good care of her."
"Like she was my best friend's girlfriend," she replied.
"Aw," Hort sighed.
"What?" Ritch asked. "Goddamned secret giant language. I have to learn that, now."
Arlene hoisted the blanket that was her shoulder-bag and they were off.
Ted waved from the door until both women were out of sight over a hill. Then he went back inside.
His wives were standing at the table in mock fury. "About that kiss goodbye," Ritch said.
"Hey!" he said suddenly. "I just realized we are the only three people with permission to use this bath, now! I'm going to get naked and soapy!" He turned slowly towards the tub room.
"OI!" Hort shouted. He obediently lifted them and headed for the bath.
Ted lowered his wives to the side of the tub, then knelt to start the water. He stripped and hung his clothes on the wall, then turned back to the bath.
Wife and wife posed nonchalantly. They had stripped down to bra and panties.
"Ooooh," he sighed. They slowly turned. Bra and thongs, he saw. "You know, there was nothing wrong with the bandeaus."
"No," Ritch said. She raised her arms over her head, looking down calmly as her cleavage deepened.
"But these are exotic," Hort said. "You've never seen us in bras."
"And you've never taken a bra off of us," Ritch added.
He slid into the bath, hardly yelping at the water. "Does Phoebe have one?"
"She will," Hort said.
"No, no," Ritch corrected. "Arlene said hers was... A bust-yay?"
"Yay," he breathed gently. He lowered his chin to rest on arms crossed on the side of the tub. "Show me."
"Show you what?" Ritch asked. Then she turned as Hort stepped calmly past her.
The Duchess turned and twisted before her mate, running a fingertip along the garment to show off features.
"The straps are the finest silk, measured just so. Testy even had them measure again during my period, to be sure I don't bloat enough to be uncomfortable." Thumbs lifted the straps off of her shoulder, jogging the breasts slightly before his eyes.
She turned her back and indicated the rear of the garment. "Arlene turned out to be quite opinionated about where the straps should lay. We're not sure if it's a personal thing or if everyone should have the same configuration. But this is quite comfortable."
Hortesnaed turned until she was sideways to him. "And I feel so secure! I can bend over..." She waved. Ritch reached over to lend support. "Waaaaaay over. And nothing falls out."
"Pity," he said. "Wait, things fell out before? And no one told me?"
"Eyes front, milord," Ritch cautioned. "Be here, be now or be very lonely."
"Of course."
"Where was I?" Hort asked in mock dismay.
"You were bending, milady," Ritch said. She demonstrated. "And even at maximum decline, nothing reveals itself." She slapped at a poking finger the size of her leg. "Stop it!"
"And yet," Hort went on as Ritch stood, "a diligent search will..." She eased fingers of two hands into one cup. "Will... "
"Can you not find your nipple?" Ritch asked. The sight and sound of one beauty asking another about her nipple... Ted's teeth clenched together and ground.
"No!" the dismayed Duchess admitted to the other Duchess. Fingers poked and stroked, stretched and searched but to no avail.
"Well, mine are.... Here!" Perky points of Ritch's fingertips indicated where she had located her two nipples. Hort shook her head in negative.
"Obviously, your bra is substandard," Ritch said. She stepped behind the stricken maiden. "We will have to remove it."
Slowly and gently, she lifted the straps off Hort's shoulders. Hort let her hands drop just as slowly, leaving her cleavage entirely in Ritch's care.
All Ted could see of Ritch were her hands coming around Hort. They worked the straps one finger's width at a time, over the shoulder and down, down....achingly slowly down.
"And," Hort whispered, "Arlene insisted that in a civilized society, the hooks are in the front."
One single finger was extended on each hand and Ritch slipped the tip under the bottom of Hort's garment.
Each pushed along, poking the material out, pressing and lifting the breasts within.
The thumb came out as they reached the front clasp, the forearms squeezing the boobs together to relieve pressure.
The clasp parted and paradise was slowly revealed.
And they all lived happily ever after. The end.
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