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Tears of the Phoenix	By : serialcabbit78 Category: S through Z > Valdemar Series Views: 1397 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do NOT own ANY of the rights to the Valdemar Series, those all belong to Mercedes Lackey, who has given me the inspiration. I make no profit from this or any writing.

Chapter List
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*This chapter contains references to Rape and Abuse.*

Starwind guided Luna to a quiet area of the forest wanting to give her a few more lessons on her gifts. They had ridden Surya, to get Luna more used to riding so her long trip to Haven wouldn’t be so painful. Once they’d dismounted, he led her to a couple of rocks and had her sit.

“There are a few reasons I have brought you out here. One is to be free of distractions in your camp; the other is to show you some of the things you’ll need to learn about your gifts. You have a good grasp on the basics, but that is due to Vanyel using your dreams to show you.” He gave her an opaque look. “In some ways, he taught you using ways we taught him. Our way is to go into your mind and guide you to what you need to do, then step out and let you do it. There are protections on your land you need to know about and how to react to them.”

“There is something I’ve wanted to ask Vanyel, but I don’t know how.   Cody’s father asked me if he would be like another boy from our village, one who disappeared about two years ago. No one would tell us what happened, and it was believed he’d died.” Luna looked away, blinking rapidly to try to stop tears from forming. “He was a few years older than me, and it was said he was considered unclean, but no one would tell me why. When Sven asked me, if Cody would be like him, I couldn’t see a future for him, it was all mists. I thought to myself, I wish there was a way I could be sure Sven would not harm the child if he knew. This blue light appeared around his head and shoulders. I asked him if he would turn Cody away, like Thad was. If he would allow him to be harmed, and he told that he could never harm him. He said that he may not be happy his son would be that way, but he could never allow him to be harmed. The blue light never faded.”

“Well, that makes what I am going to tell you about the protections much easier. You and other Heralds are taught something called a Truth Spell, without knowing what you were doing, you invoked it. The spell calls upon an Air Elemental called the vrondi, and they do not like untruths. Vanyel called up on them to help him guard against foreign mages, to simply watch. Because we were the ones who taught Vanyel how to ask them, they do not bother with any Tayledras or Kyree, as they are interacting with all elemental spirits.” Starwind looked relieved that Luna was more aware of things around her. “Vanyel would answer any questions you asked of him, and it would not have been bothersome.”
“I know, he’s told me that. He’s told me that if I have questions about my gift, he would talk to me, but I didn’t want to take his attention away from what he does.” Luna shook her head. “I know he’s part of the forest, but it felt like I was being selfish, that if I took his attention away, someone bad might get past him. He said that wouldn’t happen, but I guess in some ways, I’ve treated him as if he were alive, like we are.”
“When I first met Vanyel, he had been through a very traumatic experience.   His trauma was nearly too much for him to recover from, and he had some dreams that frightened him further. It was only after having another of these visions, he thought we didn’t care. He tried to run away, and ended up helping us in ways he could never have imagined. He fought off a Queen Ice Drake, all on his own. Then, before he had fully recovered from that, learned how to tap our Nodes, and nearly killed himself taking out a very dangerous mage.” Starwind sighed, and Luna could hear both pride and sorrow in his voice. “From that time, he ceased to think of himself first, but put others before himself. Even when my Shay’kreth’ashke and I gave him an offer, he tried to turn us down, afraid of intruding on our relationship. When we explained it was something we had both agreed that we would welcome him, he did not take our invitations as often as we offered them. That made us respect him even more, and there were times that we would just hold him and offer him our love.”

“I see that he had those who watched out for him, when those he loved wouldn’t. I’ve seen his pain, his regrets.   I felt that in some ways, he was like me. His family didn’t understand him very well. My parents only wanted sons, and once they started having them, they turned me out.” Luna looked away again, and jumped slightly when Starwind wrapped an arm around her. “I’ve roamed these woods since I was very little. Nana tried to help me when she could, but there were too many little ones around that all needed food. The men who controlled the village took most of the food, and their families were fed before everyone else. They never once helped in the fields or helped with tending the animals. They just took and took, and never gave anything. They let bandits raid us; they let food rot in storage, and just too many other things.”

“What about your little friend? Margaret tells us that his parents took care of you sometimes, and we can see in his memories you taking care of him.” Starwind continued to hold Luna; his plans for her lessons were on hold. She needed to speak more than to learn right now. “What happened that night?”

“We had a young healer, she’d not even gone to get her greens, but she knew some ways by learning with Nana. She tested several of us, I don’t know what she was looking for, but I do know now she’d never be allowed to train. She allowed herself to be marred by those men, and they poisoned her abilities.” She sighed, wiping away the tears that started to fall. “I was one of the last; they ambushed me as I left the privy, flinging me against the side of a house. I felt my head hit the wall so hard I blacked out. When I woke, my arm was broken, I couldn’t see very well, and my head hurt really badly. She was telling him that I was not yet in bud, let alone bloom. They wanted to know WHEN I would get my rags. I hadn’t a clue what they meant, but they wanted me to be married to the leader, immediately. They took us into this house, where there were cages and stuffed us in them. Then they started to take one or two girls out and they…” Luna trembled like a leaf, causing Starwind to hold her tighter.

: Ashke, I need you now. This child is badly damaged. She is not physically harmed, but she is mentally. She needs your hand. : Starwind Mind Called Moondance. : I think she is going to be sick. :

Luna turned away, and retched. Starwind held her steady, letting her empty her stomach on the ground. He pulled a bit of silk from his tunic, the sound covered by the harsh sound Luna made. Moondance raced over, water skin in hand. He took the scrap of cloth and wet it, gently wiping Luna’s face and hands when she finished.   He lifted her into his arms and carried her to a soft patch of grasses and laid her down. She whimpered softly and he stroked her hair from her face.

“I can tell Vanyel did a little bit of healing on you, but he could not heal you fully. If you will allow me, I can help you with those memories.” He said softly. “Because you are fully aware and able to tell me, I must ask your permission before entering your mind. I can help you deal with them without you feeling stress, like you are now.”

Luna nodded, unable to speak. He helped her sit up and gave her a few drinks of water, and she shakily took them. Starwind arranged himself behind her, and when she laid back, her head was in his lap. Surya moved closer, lying beside Starwind, her head resting on Luna’s chest.
Moondance patted Surya; then put his hand on Luna’s forehead, lightly pulling her into a deep sleep.   He looked into her mind, seeing the swirling memories. He saw Surya as a strong anchor, holding Luna gently away from them. He Saw the men, taking girls and raping them. Those who resisted were beaten then raped anyway. Many of the girls, including Luna were screaming hysterically. One of the men reached in and grabbed Luna, stripping away the lovely summer dress she wore. They tore her clothes away, ripping the new shift she had donned that day. They flung her to the floor, yelling at her. Moondance pulled away, gasping for air as he cleared the vision from his mind.

“Gods of my fathers, Holiest of mothers,” He rasped his voice barely a croak. He took a sip of water. “This will not be easy ashke; she came very close to being raped. I had to stop for a moment, for both our sakes. She’s extremely traumatized by what happened. She still is innocent, and still trusts others. I think part of why she can easily trust the Singer and us is because of what we are.   She knows there is no threat from us, that girls do not interest us.”

Starwind reached over and took Moondance’s hand after wiping the tears away from his beloved’s face. They had both seen victims with memories like Luna’s, though many of them had been through so much their minds, bodies and souls were forever shattered. One young woman, not all that long ago, traumatized by the evil Krebain, had ended her life, even after having the best healing Moondance and the other Tayledras could offer her. Moondance could hardly blame her though; everything about her had been so warped and twisted, that even when she had Healed, she was still shattered.

“Even as hurt as she is, she is still a very lucky one.   She is luckier still to have a very good guardian watching over her.” Starwind whispered, not trusting his own voice. He’d seen the memories along with Moondance.

: This is why I asked Aroon if your plans could be changed. She needed a mind healer badly, and I could only hold those memories back for so long. She truly is trying to work past them, and having Stefen has helped her. I know I’ve been harsh with them both, but I have realized that it’s him being so free around her that has put her more at ease. : Surya’s mind voice sounded tearful. : Vanyel had to heal her physically. When she finally stopped running that night, she collapsed by a stream, blinded from pain and concussion. He left his cloak on her while she slept; well I think you’ll see the effects of his touch. :

“She is lucky to have you. Thank you for speaking with us, I know your kind do not like to use that ability often.” Moondance stroked Surya’s head, smiling softly to the Companion. “I will see what I can see, and what lead up to her running into Stefen, but I think I will try a different approach.”

This time, Moondance went in, and instead of facing down the memories, he used something he’d done with Vanyel. He allowed the memories to play in her dream, blunting the edges down to the softest of edges, making them almost seem like it had happened in a nightmare. They were still there, but she could face them without fear now.   He watched as her memory of waking up under Vanyel’s cloak through her trying to return to the village and hearing the men looking for her. When she ran into Stefen, he gently warmed that memory, boosting her trust in the man. That was the easiest, as his own Bardic Gift had instantly given her reason to trust him. He gently pulled back again, then leaned down and kissed Luna softly on the forehead. Her eyes fluttered open, and she looked around her. Surya moved so Luna could sit up and the girl hugged her Companion, smiling softly to her.

“Did I fall asleep? I’m sorry; I guess I must have been tired.” She looked to Moondance and Starwind then blushed. “Oh, that night, it seems like years ago instead of days. I don’t feel as scared now. It’s like a very bad dream, but well I know it happened, as my bruises are still there. If Stefen or Nana hasn’t fixed that shift yet, it is still torn. I’m just glad they didn’t do more than they did.” She stiffly stood and stretched.

“I think any lessons we had thought to give you can wait, you’ve been through a bit today. Margaret will need to go back to the village soon and Stefen will be taking you to Haven. I think the foundations that Vanyel has helped you lay will be more than enough.” Starwind smiled and helped Luna into Surya’s saddle. “Do not worry about us walking, little one. We’re more used to it than you think.”

“I feel rude allowing you to walk, I’m younger and I know Surya won’t mind.” Luna said, laughing when Surya snorted and shook her head.
“She would allow us to ride, but you are the one who will be riding for much longer than you are used to. It would be rude of us to not let you get used to being in the saddle.” Moondance pointed out. “Margaret has made sure she has packed you some of her ointments for sore muscles. I hope Surya will allow Stefen to help you with it, because in some cases you will need it.”
: Well, duh, plus he’s a musician. He’ll be able to work your muscles better than you will then he can play you to sleep. : Surya chuckled, giving a soft whinny. : Tell Moondance that I will be fine with that. :

“Surya agrees with you, and she said that he will be able to help me with knotted muscles because of his abilities with music. And that with his Gift, he can help me though the pain with music.” Luna patted Surya’s neck, smiling a genuine smile, without any of the shadows her eyes had held. “She’s changed her ideas, I guess. I think had it been someone not like you two or Stefen, she wouldn’t have been as willing to allow him to help.”

“Considering what you have been through, I would not blame her. It would have been a bad experience for you, and I know that you even feared him for a time.   I know though, it was the fact he is a kind young man, gentle hearted when it comes to children that helped you trust him, but your realizing that he prefers men, was also helpful.” Starwind looked up at Luna as they followed the path back to the clearing.
“Anyone willing to leap from watering a tree to defending a child, without stopping to fix their clothes should be trusted, I think.” Luna laughed. Her free speaking startled a laugh from the two Tayledras.
“That is true, little one. The fact that he would have, even if he wasn’t Shay’a’chern, speaks highly of him. He knew it might have scared you, but he would have defended you, if he had to.” Moondance laughed. “Though, I think he regrets not taking more weapons classes while Vanyel was alive, then again, when they were ambushed, he did the right thing.”

“If he hadn’t have ran, they both would have been caught, or Stef even could have been killed. His running gave them all a chance.” Luna shook her head. “Stef still blames himself for what those men did to Vanyel, but it wasn’t his fault, nor was it Vanyel’s. Just like it wasn’t my fault what happened to me. Before the walls fell, the healer tried to stop them and told them I was too young. She told them it could be a year or two before I got my rags, so to speak.”

“Why would they be so concerned that you be of that age, Luna? You don’t even have the potential to pass gifts like Cody’s. I cannot understand that.” Starwind said, frowning. “The fact that you were too young should have stopped them.”

“They thought she was lying. They thought that she had meant that I hadn’t gotten them for the month or something like that. When she told them it would be a year or more, they slit her throat. There was so much screaming, I couldn’t hear myself think, then it got real quiet and we could hear Cody shrieking as if he was in pain.” Though Moondance had blunted the memories, they were still painful. Neither man stopped her from speaking, knowing she had to work through this on her own. “The whole house shook as if the earth itself was moving. The wall that some of the men were leaning against just fell in, on top of them. The doors on the cages unlocked and opened. When the second wall fell, I ran. I ran into the woods, not stopping at all. I tripped so many times, and I know I had to have mangled my broken arm even more. I came to a stream, slipped on the rocks and fell. It was there I passed out. I was covered in blood, mud and bruises; the bones in my arm poked out through the skin. My feet and legs in the ice cold water.   I woke up well after sunrise. I remember when I had passed out, I was nearly face down on the bank, and I was laying in a soft pallet when I woke up. The place on my head that hit the wall, it had been bloody before but there was a lump still there. It didn’t hurt like it had, and the blood was gone. My arm was healed, my vision was clear. I sat up with a sliver and white cloak covering me.”

“Vanyel must have moved you and healed you. His healing powers were not all that powerful when he was alive, but maybe because protecting you fell to him, he was able to heal you far better than he expected to.” Moondance said. “He could ease pain when using certain salves and potions, but outside that he would get a better healer.”

“I think that given the healer died trying to protect Luna, it is possible he was able to hold her spirit long enough to ensure Luna got the help she needed.” Starwind said, and a soft breeze toyed with his braided hair, causing the crystal beads to click softly together. “Ah, yes, I see now. That is what happened.”

“He was always one to find help in unexpected places.” Moondance chuckled. “We do not often leave our lands, but we felt we owe it to him and Stefen to visit every year. It’s a tradition we plan to continue after our wings bear us upwards. That is until our new paths are formed.”

“I have always believed that souls can have more than one walk upon the earth. Some, though are offered another path to take, the rest, they seek the Havens.” Luna spoke dreamily. “Don’t tell Stefen, but I know a secret to him. He was meant to be like me, a Herald, but someone decided that his life was forfeit. So now he must pay for the mistakes his former life made.”

“That is true, Luna. What have you seen?” Moondance asked.

“That the mage that nearly killed Vanyel may have been in the service of the Dark one, he killed the twin of Stef’s former life, Tylendel. Though, instead of Tylendel getting what talents he had, and the portion of the soul his twin held, he went mad. Vanyel didn’t know how to help him, and had learned early on not to trust others. He was afraid to lose him if he didn’t help, so they both made mistakes. Tylendel’s biggest mistake was not trusting his Companion and his Mentor.” Luna tilted her head, as if she was listening to something only she could hear. “I think he should not know; he should only learn that when he returns to your side and only then.”

“Luna, you have the mind and the heart of a Tayledras. You see wisdom in places many others would not. You have the same Sight we do. I did say before that had you not been claimed by Valdemar, you would be welcome with us.” Starwind said. “And I agree with you.”

“As do I. I am sure that Stefen felt drawn to Vanyel without knowing why.” Moondance said. “I know you can keep that secret.”

They traveled a bit more, coming back to the clearing. Cody was playing in the trough as Stefen bathed him.   The two Kyree lay in a patch of sunlight and Luna could tell that it seemed Margaret had gone back to the village.

She dismounted and pulled Surya’s tack off, then groomed the Companion, taking care with her mane and tail. She smiled and nodded then took two sections of mane, gathered them into bands then braided them. She used bands at the bottom of each braid then cut them free. These she took to Starwind and Moondance.

“Surya and I wish to offer these to you, as a thank you and a token of friendship.” She said with a tiny smile.

The two men looked surprised, but delighted to take her gift. Two birds flew down from the trees to light gracefully on their arms. The birds moved to their shoulders, and each plucked a feather from their wings.

“We have a custom, that when someone wishes to have a relationship with someone else, they trade feathers. Mostly this custom is used for relationships of a more physical nature. For a lasting relationship, you trade feathers of your bond birds. You have offered us a lock of hair from your Companion in friendship; we offer you a feather from each of our birds. We accept your friendship with the love and appreciation you have given us.” Starwind said and smiled warmly. He handed her the feather from his bird.
“Just because our customs may be different, the spirit you have given your gift in is welcomed, little daughter. You are sister in soul to Cody, so you are daughter in soul to us. We accept your friendship with love.” Moondance smiled and handed her the feather from his bird.

Stefen watched the exchange with wonder. He knew of the custom of trading feathers, and the symbolism of it. To see them give Luna feathers from their bond birds, in friendship, he knew it meant something deeply special. In a way, he felt bad he had nothing to exchange with the two.

“You are not left out, Singer. You are guardian to this little one and you have cared for our little hatchling. You are also soul bonded to our Wingbrother, which also makes you a brother to us.” Starwind said softly, taking Stefen’s hand in his own. “We know your paths will not be easy, but together maybe you two can learn to use the strengths you have.”

“Well, I may not have a token to share, I took Margaret back to the village, and fixed us a meal, and I hope you will join us. We can offer you a place to sleep for the night, as well.” Stefen pointed to a hearty smelling stew on the fire. “We’d offer you the inside of the station to sleep in, but I think you rather be outdoors.”
“You would be correct.” Starwind said with a grin. “We will gladly receive your offer of food and hospitality.”
Luna tucked the feathers into her packs, hoping to soon find something she could tie them to. She turned to Surya and hugged her, scratching her along the top of her nose.
: I’m glad you thought of that gift. I wasn’t sure how to thank them for their help. : She told Surya.

: I was surprised they offered you the feathers, because in their culture, this particular exchange of gifts would normally be reserved for lovers. : Surya explained. : In your case, they saw that it was more in friendship and gratitude. That is why they gave you feathers from their birds. Without the full ceremony, they have begun to give you the rights of Wingsister. :

“Wing…what?” Luna asked suddenly. “Surya, what does that mean?”

“Because of your bond with our new son, we will be granting you the title of Wingsister. That makes you part of our clan. You have ties to our Wingbrother Vanyel, who is the father of our son Brightstar.” Moondance explained, getting a loving look from Surya. “I take it that it was her idea to offer her mane?”

“Yes, it was. I told her I wish I had a way to thank you for your help and she suggested it. I will treasure your gifts always.” Luna said softly. “Stefen that stew smells amazing.”

Luna looked a little hurt when everyone chuckled at what she said, but Starwind knelt and took her hands in his. He gave her a warm smile, one she could feel that was reserved for those closest to him.
“You are just a child, no one expects you to be everything at one time. You will have the time to grow into your gifts. You are wiser than many will give you credit for, but don’t ever give up your genuine sweet nature. I see many things happening to you that will test your strength, but I know you will make it through any storm.” He leaned in and kissed her forehead. “Besides, the soul sister of our new son has to have something special for our Wingbrother to make sure you made it through the storms so far.”

Luna smiled and hugged Starwind. In the past few days, her life had changed from something dark and hopeless, to sunlight. The coming days would test her in ways she had yet to know, but for tonight, she basked in the warmth of her new family. She knew she may not see some of them for periods of time, but she would always feel the warmth of their love. She took her place by the fire, taking a bowl of stew and a bit of bread. She turned her head to see Vanyel standing at the edge of the woods, a soft but sad smile on his lips.
:It’s just farewell for now, my good friend. I know my duties will bring me back to you again, and I welcome those times.: She mindspoke to Vanyel. :Thank you for giving me everything you have.:
:You’ve earned it, and will earn it even more when you get your Whites. Take care of him for me, you both will need a good friend at times.: Vanyel winked to her, then faded into the shadows, but the feeling of his spirit could be felt on the gentle breeze that softly blew through the clearing.
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Tears of the Phoenix