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Cellulose & Steel	By : Not-Taylor Category: Misc Books > FemmeSlash Views: 1028 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own HDG or its characters and I don't make money from this work.

Chapter List
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Since Verda needs time to recover herself from her little fit, Ember decides to spend some time prodding Evlen, who should be up by now. That’s assuming he and it are on the same clock, but they probably are, going off things it wasn’t trying especially hard to remember at the time. It leaves her to rest and flops on the couch. Technically, Verda didn’t say she needed time to rest, but it’s obvious she does. Her vines aren’t even close to steady and she’s on the verge of changing her mind about disabling Ember. It just knows.
Instead of unlocking the tablet in its hand, it tries the door, just in case Violet didn’t lock it on the way out. It’s seriously unlocked? Of course it is, the floral jellyfish wouldn’t undo that. It can leave whenever. It can leave… Ember puts its shoes on and sneaks through the mechanically separated bounds of the doorway. It doesn’t think it really needs to sneak, but the affini are smarter than the Accord liked to give them credit for. It doesn’t want to be captured, especially since it isn’t sure Verda’s gotten over her fixation on subjugating it and every Terran to ensure they meet the Affini standards of living. Violet had been so casual about destroying its personhood permanently. That’s so sick… Speaking of which, it could possibly throw up right now, if it really tried. Ember decides against experimenting. It’s hard not to respect the weeds’ medical abilities.
Walking through the park, it has a chance to enjoy the early morning quiet. The day isn’t as young as it had been, but there’s a strong feeling of breakfast time throughout the outdoors. Several Terrans are jogging in slow motion, one with a mortified looking shaggy xeno friend. On opposite sides of the park, a Terran and an affini are setting up what are most likely instruments. Intrigued by the prospect of live music from home, Ember strolls toward the Terran, enjoying its surroundings on the way.
Being here hasn’t gotten old yet. There’s a small amount of dew on the grass, making cutting across it unappealing. The less enthusiastic members of the ship are starting to wake up now… probably. If they were on Terra that’s how things would be going at this time of day. Ember takes a deep breath. The air feels much cleaner than it did yesterday. Did they just change a filter? That’s when it realizes that freedom is what it’s smelling. It’s not trapped any more. It can go or stay. Verda’s in no place to stop it. It could go anywhere on Ruby Trunk! Having just eaten and having goals in mind that it picked out itself, it doesn’t quite feel ready to run away. Besides, it doesn’t have a plan for when it escapes.
There’s no longer any beginning of doubt regarding whether it should. How freely and pleasantly Verda was willing to play that weird ball sport with it, as equals, had made it wonder. But now it knows that it will never be more than a pet to her. It already knew that, but it needed the reminder. In reality it should be grateful for the revelation, since it could’ve done something stupid. They both know it won’t tolerate domestication. They both know Verda won’t set it free. Neither is willing to accept the final solution to the question of unruly florets (which is something worth respecting about her, even if she is an arrogant weed).
That leaves only death, which by now it knows isn’t the Affini way. They could’ve easily killed it a thousand times if they wanted to. They could’ve sniped it as it fled in Ides. They didn’t because they want it alive, a trophy of their conquest of Terra. That means that the only acceptable way through is out. That’s not going to be easy, and right now, Ember would much rather sit down somewhere far away from Verda than think about that.
There’s a bench located at a socially acceptable distance from the Terran musician, who seems about ready to start as Ember sits down. It wipes away a little moisture from the seat, which it hopes will do something. For some reason, the thought that a set of affini vines would be able to mop up the dew effectively comes to mind. The Terran, a slightly bearded man somewhere around Ember’s age, starts playing after recollecting his thoughts from having been distracted by his new audience. It quickly opens its tablet to look less interested in his performance. That should help his nerves, Ember hopes.
The instrument turns out to have been a guitar. He strums a few chords to warm up, breathes, and begins a gentle song that Ember recognizes from just before its assignment on the Song of Destruction, its home for so long. It hums quietly in memory of its old self, now probably scrap. It’s going to miss all that data it collected. Even if the majority is stored safely in bioROM. It really ought to guilt Verda into making sure all of the systems from the ships it’s piloted are backed up on compatible technology somewhere. That would be helpful, especially so that it could perform a factory reset if something went wrong. Weeds wouldn’t think like that. That’s why Terra’s going to win, even if Ember’s the only one left fighting, and… even if nobody else even wants to fight.
His next piece comes from a game, an old and sort of obscure one that outs him as a man of good taste. It brings back so many memories… which Ember doesn’t have time for. It should focus on what it was doing: messaging the floret whose mistress thinks he’s dating it, or something. What even does she think is happening between them? His “little girlfriend.” It snorts. It has no intention of being some moid’s “girlfriend.” It’s better than that. Of course, Evlen isn’t responsible for his owner’s insanity… Maybe it can continue to tolerate him after all. He’d probably appreciate the attention. Ember doesn’t think he gets out much, even if he talks to a lot of random people all day.
[membership_plan_11] chat: Evlen. Hello
Adequate. He’s going to respond, and it doesn’t include anything that might disturb him. Time passes and the birds chirp somewhat less than before. The musician switches to a series of sad songs, most of which Ember doesn’t recognize.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: Song! I just got back from serving breakfast. What are you up to?
[membership_plan_11] chat: I’m in the park, enjoying the day. It’s so nice out now.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: What park?
[membership_plan_11] chat: There’s one close to Verda’s house. There are lots of trees around.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: That's nice.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: She has an entire house?
[membership_plan_11] chat: She does. Why? There are lots of houses around us.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: That’s impressive. I don’t know any Affini who have houses.
[membership_plan_11] chat: Verda does. It’s not very big if you wanted to fit more than the two of us.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: Oh. It’s still cool. You don’t have floormates who are up at different times and who want to talk to you when you’re in the middle of something.
[membership_plan_11] chat: We don't.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: Is Verda with you? Why’s she letting you type while your outside?
[membership_plan_11] chat: She’s inside. Can I ask your advice about something strange? You have to promise not to tell anyone, even your mistress.
She has to try several times before she can force herself to use that word for Evlen’s affini instead of a few that are less respectful.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: I promise, except that my mistress can make me tell her anything. I don’t like it but I can’ stop her if she really wants to know something. I can tell her it’s somebody else’s secret and she’ll probably respect that.
[membership_plan_11] chat: Good enough. Verda’s not doing well. She’s been crying all night. Somebody helped her, but I’m worried this is going to happen again. They were talking about class O
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: I don’t want to keep that a secret. They can’t do that to you! I’ve seen what sort of person gets that treatment. You’re nothing like them, Song.
[membership_plan_11] chat: I’m grateful for your kind words, Evlen. Verda was against it, but next time she might not be. She was talking about being a bad owner. I don’t know how to cope with that.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: Did you tell her she wasn't?
[membership_plan_11] chat: No.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: Then do that. She’ll feel much better about herself and she probably won’t cry about not being good enough.
[membership_plan_11] chat: I was hoping for a better idea than that. Can I spray her with water or something?
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: You didn’t give me enough specifics to work off of, but you could try to address what’s upsetting her directly. The things she doesn’t feel good about might just be her imagination.
[membership_plan_11] chat: I think it’s because I don’t want an implant. I told her it would be damaging to me and I think she agrees that that’s true. How could I argue that without making her think I’d gone insane?
That’s close enough to the truth to steer him somewhere helpful.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: I don’t know. So she wants to implant you, but you and she both think it’s a bad idea? Why’s that a problem? You don’t need one. I don’t have one. I don’t like to talk about it because some affini get upset, but between the two of us, I’ve never missed it. I feel very close to my mistress without it.
[membership_plan_11] chat: You don’t have an implant? Why?
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: It’s a long story. I managed to skip it by what I consider luck. The idea is a little creepy to me, but I know it’s their culture and they expect it for just about all their florets. As I said, I’m lucky. But if your mistress genuinely believes you’ll be happier without one, then you don’t need it. Just because everyone else is doing something doesn’t mean it has to be right for you and her.
That reminds it of something Verda had said… Very suspicious. That means just what she thinks, doesn’t it?
[membership_plan_11] chat: She hasn’t threatened you with it?
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: No. Why would she? That would be awful.
Song’s heart sinks as she realizes he’s only at liberty to say such a thing because he’s literal royalty. No wonder he’s so… Words like “adorable” and “handsome” come to mind, but the one she’s looking for is serene. He’s surely aware that his permissive florethood was bought with the servitude of millions or billions.
[membership_plan_11] chat: I’m just curious. Your idea makes sense, but I don’t think it applies here.
[membership_plan_11] chat: I’m worried. She thought I was going to run away during the tour you gave me the other day.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: Were you going to run away?
[membership_plan_11] chat: That would’ve required me to run away from you as well.
Evlen takes a moment to reply to the factually correct statement.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: I see. In that case, have you tried talking things out?
[membership_plan_11] chat: We do that all the time. She only got upset when she decided there wasn’t anything more to learn from discussing. She was right.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: So now what?
[membership_plan_11] chat: I’m probably going to have an implant by the end of this week. Talking to you has been nice, but I’m not going out without a fight. I don’t know if I’m going to be capable of missing you, however I end up after that. I might be a zombie.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: Song, please don’t do anything stupid.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: I'll miss you a lot.
[membership_plan_11] chat: That’s nice of you to say, Evlen. I don’t have anywhere else to turn. All the affini want to hunt me down, and all the florets are too high on xenodrugs to give me any advice. I haven’t felt this lost in a long time. Even when I was hiding from the Affini, I still knew where I could go. I had some idea of what was happening. Now I’m being told I don’t really know what I want, and to let people who aren’t even Verda decide that for me. Not that she’s fighting very hard on my side.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: Oh. I’d give you a hug if I were with you.
[membership_plan_11] chat: Thanks, I appreciate it.
[membership_plan_11] chat: And thanks for reading my rant. I just wanted it all to work. I wanted something to go well. Do you know what I mean?
[membership_plan_11] chat: I didn’t want to be a vegetable.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: I know what you mean. I’d help if I could. My mistress isn’t anyone who could help either. She could give you a hug too, but that wouldn’t be more helpful than mine.
[membership_plan_11] chat: It’s just really hard not to feel alone on this, since nobody knows anything.
Evlen doesn’t say anything for a while, letting Song be distracted by the music nearby. The guitarist isn’t bad at all. She looks over. He looks like he’s enjoying himself. An affini is listening from a little further in a different direction. The way her vines are moving suggests she’s here for the performance too. Unlike the Terrans and xenos listening from the hill next to the musician, she’s trying to be discreet. Unlike Song, she isn’t very obviously in the middle of something. That must be his kidnapper, or assigned owner. Or it could be a random affini who appreciates Terran culture.
[Ruby Trunk]> len_pickle: I just asked my mistress what I could do if I weren’t satisfied with her treatment of me, as a hypothetical. After she calmed down, she told me there are a few different offices I might go to, depending what’s wrong. Most of them were health related and I don’t think that’s what you’re looking for. There’s a Branch Office of Floret Procedures. They exist in case something bad happens, apparently. She kept talking about “harm” and “not harm” “not the same as harm.” I don’t get it. She wants to give me a bath now so she can be sure I’m not mad at her. I’ll talk later, Song!
That’s a disappointment. It was hoping to tell him about its new name. At least it got something useful out of the exchange. The Office of Floret Procedures sounds dreadful, but they’re its best hope, assuming they’ll even listen to a “feralist.” It doesn’t even know if-
“There you are, Ember!” Fuck this straight spaceship. Ember makes sure not to let its internal groaning escape.
“I’ve been looking for you! Thank goodness you haven’t gone far.” Verda looks around, as though to hide her relief. The guitarist looks over, but doesn’t care enough to stop playing. The affini looks frazzled, but she’s much more composed than she had been.
“I’m just sitting here outside. Don’t you want me to have fresh air?”
“I’m not interested in your games, Ember. We’re leaving.”
“But I was just sitting here.”
“You ran away yet again. You’re very lucky I don’t feel like disciplining you to remind you of where home is. Don’t worry though, I have no intention of letting you feel unsafe or uncared for again. Ever.”
“I’m just sitting…”
“Were you planning to come home?”
“...”
“Do you see what I mean? What have you been doing out here, pet?”
“Talking to somebody and listening to music.”
“Who were you talking to?”
“Evlen.” That calms her down a lot. It didn’t even have to lie.
“How long have you been here?”
“I don’t know. A while. I wanted to sit somewhere.”
“And you’ve sat. Come along, Ember. Please don’t make me think that I really can’t deal with you.” She’s begging it not to force her to put it on xenodrugs. That’s new. It’s also new for her to be so open with it. She’s usually direct, but this is another level of bluntness. Maybe that’s because it was there for the whole conversation about its fate. Ember only hopes that the weed won’t change her mind about being nice. Did she change her mind earlier? No… She seems to be assuming that something will magically change, stopping it from needing to be forcibly broken.
“Ember.”
“No.”
That was stupid. It knows better. It knew what saying that meant. Now it’s going to die or worse. Probably worse. All because it couldn’t pick its fights better. It looks up at Verda, hoping she’ll be merciful. Why can’t it do anything right these days?
Wrapping a vine wrapped around its neck as a collar and leash, Verda sits down with a sigh.
“Very well, pet. We’ll sit for a little and listen to the music.”
She’s still shaken. Ember didn’t even know affini meltdowns were possible, so it can’t say whether that was a particularly bad one. It’s not even sure if Verda’s recovered quickly from it or not. Tump thump ta-tump. The sounds in Verda’s core are unsteady. It’s a slight difference and subtle enough that Ember can only hear it from this close. Tump thump ta-tump. It’s starting to stabilize. Ember shakes the noise from its head.
“What did you want to ask me, pet?’
“What?”
“You want to ask something.”
“I did, I guess. How could you tell?”
“Understanding humans has been the focus of my life almost since the Compact first became aware of you.”
“Hm. I guess… I’m wondering why you haven’t given up. It’s hurting me. You’re nowhere near hiding how much it’s hurting you…”
“Because giving up on one’s floret, on the idea one can give a floret a happy life, deciding that the floret is simply too far gone, is one of the most terrible things an affini can endure. Even though that’s extraordinarily rare, it does happen occasionally. When I remember everything you’ve said and how you act… I can’t bring myself to believe that of you.” Some of Verda’s inner foliage squeezes audibly in her distress. Her words are distorted and her imitation of a face is expressionless. She isn’t looking at Ember through her fake eyes. “You’re not unsalvageable, darling. Even if you’re still fighting… The subject is concluded. Do not ask about this again, tdaiyn.” The moment passes and she returns to normal.
“Oh.”
So that’s it. She’s worried about being seen as a failure among her subjects. Her upward mobility must be limited by the end of Terran subjugation, so she’s looking to minimize the damage done by her unexpectedly bold captive. Or she might have meant everything she’d been saying for the past day. It’s not sure it’s entirely willing to believe that. She’s heartbroken (corebroken?) over its unwillingness to submit. No… This is real. Verda couldn’t be faking all of this. If she is, she’s far too capable to resist and its efforts to save humanity were even more pointless than it already worries they might be. Just how much it’s going to be able to achieve isn’t something it wants to think about. Especially knowing the quality of Affini technology…
“You told that affini that there was something special about me.”
The tension in Verda’s probing vines eases just a little. She smiles. “I did, darling. You’re extremely special. You’re the cutest terran I’ve ever seen, and a remarkable pilot. There are plenty of navigation systems that couldn’t possibly compete with you. I’m not enough of an expert to say they all couldn’t, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the number that could was tiny.”
“That isn’t what you were talking about.”
“No, you’re right. You have a noble temperament and I’m proud of how selfless you are. As your mistress it’s my duty to ensure you never need to be, but I’m still happy I had a chance to witness that in real time.”
“You’re going to keep going and not answer my question, aren’t you.”
She smirks. They sit together for a few minutes enjoying the climax of the guitar solo. When he finishes playing they both clap. For somebody whose mind is addled by xenodrugs, he was really good. Nobody else seems to have been paying attention just now so they’re his entire audience, aside from the weed who’s even more obviously his mistress now. She’s rushing over excitedly The Terran seems pleased to have gotten some attention from people who aren’t his mistress.
“Are you ready to go, Ember?” Her tone makes clear that there’s only one acceptable answer, and carries the hint that her leniency will be cashed in soon.
“I am.”
The correct response is ‘Ua tehe.’”
“I’m ready to go ‘home.’”
“Close enough, but that isn’t where we’re going. Since you’re eager to spend time outdoors, and since the fresh air is doing me good as well, we have somewhere I see no reason to procrastinate going.”
And she’s her old self again. It’s a shame. Ember would’ve preferred if she’d been in the other state for a bit longer, maybe minus the inability to feed it, though… Their journey takes them past Verda’s house but they don’t stop. On the way by, Ember notices that the door is fixed. It squandered its chance at escape. Oops.
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Cellulose & Steel