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Dissolution	By : sinaline Category: A through F > Dragonlance Views: 1659 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the book(s) that this fanfiction is written for, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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A Brief Interlude

Day in the Life...

Tripping over the vine for the dozenth time, the Agent swore. "I can tell you that if I ever get my hands on Marion, I'll strangle her...!" was his own mild vocal version of the curses going through his mind.
It was his first lone mission into a fandom gone completely awry, and he wasn't having a great day.
First, there had been the dreadful 'urple haired Lord Soth Mary Sue. Oh, and she had been a Warrior Sue. Then, and this wasn't even the halfway point of his day, there had been the nasty slash pairing of Tasslehoff and a certain red robe... that pairing had taken many, many doses of Bleeprin (1) to fix.
Now he was trudging through Shoikan Grove disguised as one of the undead to get to the Dark Tower within. Finally reaching the gates, and passing silently through as one of the guardians, he stalked up the stairs where the argument was taking place. When he appeared, and took stock of the situation, he immediately began to take notes.
OCCness of Raistlin... he jotted down. Oh my God... how can she do that to Raistlin Majere?!
Finally, with one sweep, he said, "Pause!"
And the scene did.
"Show Fic Author."
Sitting at a Dell desktop computer was the last person he had ever expected to write such crap...
... Agent Miiro...

"What by Eru possessed you to pause my story, Nathan?!" Agent Marion Miiro lay sprawled where she had landed, legs still entangled in her computer chair which these days consisted of a plastic deck chair for an outdoor patio set and a ergonomic back rest.
Agent Bridger fumed, still holding the PPC Handbook for the Dragonlance fandom in his hands. Agent Miiro rubbed her shoulder from where the heavy hard bound volume had thwapped her to knock her flying from her computer. "What in the name of all that is holy possessed you, a PPC Agent, to write this?"
For a moment, she stopped as if to think a moment, then said simply, "There was a plot bunny that bit me!"
"Oh really?" Nathan answered blandly. "And where did this plot bunny come from? The OOC Indice?"
"No, actually... I got it from Raistland..." seeing his confusion. "It's a website dedicated to Raistlin... www.raistland.com...?"
"You've got to be kidding..." Nathan's jaw dropped. "Marion, I've already written up a report. You know what that means, right...?"
"You didn't..." her voice dropped fearfully.
At that point the room dissolved, then reformed to the Flower’s office in charge of their particular department. In this case it was the Department of Multiple Offenses which usually didn't have anything to do with first-timers, but considering the case involved an Agent...
"Oh no, not Internal Affairs..." whispered Agent Bridger, genuinely fearing for his partner.
The Department Head for Bridger and Miiro sighed in regret. "Agent Marion Miiro."
Miiro snapped to immediate attention with a sharp and crisp salute, "Yes sir!"
"I hope you do understand the predicament you have put me in?" said Cattail.
This is where, for the moment, even this side story stops for explanation. The internal formation of the PPC (Protectors of the Plot Continuum) consists of the 'Flowers that Be', or, in other words, a humanoid creature with a plant as its head was the leadership of the PPC. In Agent Miiro and Agent Bridger's case, this was Cattail.
But, much to all three's chagrin, there was another Flower that Be in the room, this one from Internal Affairs.
Tiger Lily.
"Ma'am," greeted Bridger and Miiro.
Tiger Lily merely shook a leaf at Miiro, "Agent Miiro, you have written a badfic. This does not look good on the PPC to have an Agent write a badfic, and then their partner slay the fic."
"I actually never got around to slaying the fic..." interjected Agent Bridger.
The two Department Heads turned to Bridger, or, at least, he thought they did. With the Flowers that Be one could never be exactly sure if they were actually looking in your direction or not. "Please tell me you read the charge list?" asked Cattail.
"Actually, no..."
"He thwapped me with the charge list, but he didn't read it," explained Miiro, rubbing her shoulder. "It hurt."
The two Department Heads slumped. "The charges were not read?" said Cattail. "Oh dear Eru! Can you two get anything right?"
"Hey, Agent Bridger put his butt on the line for that Jaws-Sue last week. And he was nearly glomped by four canon characters because he looks like one canon character that should be dead!" defended Miiro.
"Yeah, I died from a heart attack, not a shark attack," said Bridger, straight faced. Actually, they were all quite amazed at his ability to hold the poker face at the statement. (2)
"And he got that Sue... the shark ate her!"
"A very well deserved death for a Sue," admitted Cattail. "Very well, this is going on your record as a verbal reprimand for behaviour unbecoming an Agent, Marion. I will expect better from you for now on."
"Yes sir," said Miiro meekly.
The Flower that Be for Internal Affairs faded from view but the one from their own department remained. "Now, Agents, I have new missions for you."
They both groaned.
"Agent Bridger, you will be in charge of the new Official Fan Fiction University for seaQuest DSV and 2032," said Cattail.
Nathan ran his left hand down his face in chagrin, "With all due respect... but I'm a canon character!"
"Well, you knew the risks when taking the job, and, quite frankly, they retired you in canon for age. Now, while I was concerned about your age, I noticed that you also were a teacher, of sorts, in your fandom," said Cattail. "And a very good one. And we need a OFU in the UEO..."
"Very well," said Bridger. "I'll do it, so long as she helps me."
Miiro shrugged, "I'm game. It beats field work any day of the week."
"Ah, but my dear Marion, I have a special assignment for you, and it falls in Dragonlance," Cattail turned smug. "But, since you seem to be interested in the OFU, you can do both."
"You've got to be kidding!"
"I never kid," said Cattail. "There is this... story... from an author called Petalwing about some sort of body switch between Raistlin and some kender name Nima. Firstly, Nima isn't a very kender name. Secondly, I am concerned about the general OOCness of the entire thing..."
"I'm on it!" and with that Miiro disappeared.
Bridger noticed that the Cattail was looking at him strangely, "What?"
"Aren't you supposed to be somewhere, Agent Bridger?"
"I am? Oh! Right, the OFUK for seaQuest... now... what am I going to call that?" he mused as he sat down at his desk.

A/N: Okay, Petalwing, we're all yours!
Footnotes from the interlude;

(1)Bleeprin: A fictional remedy for bad fics. A mixture of bleach to erase the bad fic from the agents memory and asperin to take care of the headache of even reading it. For some reason or another (perhaps due to the agents own resistance from dangerous work conditions) mixture is not toxic to PPC Agents or members...

(2)"I died of a heart attack, not a shark attack"; this refers to the fact that in movies the same actor portrayed both Captain Nathan Bridger from seaQuest DSV and the Police Chief (yes, the one that killed the shark!) from Jaws. In the Jaws timeline, Chief Brody dies of a heart attack between Jaws 3 & 4, and his son is well known for saying in the first half hour of the movie "Mom, Dad died of a heart attack, not a shark attack!" Those who are groaning for this one without me telling them the backstory to it get a cyber cookie for being a fan of Roy Scheider...
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Dissolution