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Trust Me	By : MrsJasperHale Category: Twilight Series > Het > Bella/Edward Views: 8599 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.

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A/N Hey guys!! Okay once you have read this chapter you can anticipate some major forgiveness-sex coming in the next chapter (YUSSSSSSSS) so even I can't wait to see what'll happen with that. Okay so this is Bella's POV again. So please enjoy and review! Is it really that hard? Many thanks to the kind and b-e-a-UTIFUL people who have reviewed this already *gives you a happy hug* please tell me what you think.

ENJOY!!!!!!!

~MrsJasperHale

*~*~*~*
Tomorrow came too soon for my liking. It seemed like I had only been sleeping soundly for 5 minutes before the screech of my alarm clock brought me into my reality. It was on some random radio station, but the volume was turned all the way up for some reason, and the words burnt into my tired out old brain like needles.

“Turn that racket down!” came a booming voice from downstairs. Charlie, naturally, would be the only person in the world who would think for a moment that I would blast metal music at 7.00 in the morning. I growled at him, although he couldn’t possibly hear, and dragged myself away from the comforting warmth of my bed and into the cold tiled bathroom. I once again burnt my skin off under the showerhead for a good 10 minutes before getting dressed into some jeans and a sweatshirt for the cold weather outside.

The pain I had yesterday had improved drastically by the Paracetamol courtesy of Jasper last night, and I couldn’t help but wonder if Carlisle had tampered with them before giving them to Jasper. I didn’t really care. No pain was good. I made my limping less obvious for Edward’s sake.

As I trudged back to my room to make my bed and pick up a few of the clothes currently littering the floor, I noticed something lying on the rocking chair in which Jasper had occupied the previous evening. I snatched it up, wondering if it was just a scrap piece of paper that he had dropped before I saw that it was an envelope. Addressed to me.
This caught my curiosity, of course, as I never got any mail nowadays – not with the invention of email, instant messaging and texting. Only one person I know would actually write me a letter.
Edward.

Suddenly I was quite frightened again. What if the letter bore terrible news? What if Edward was telling me that he was leaving for Italy? Or that his whole family was moving far away... but that was impossible. I had a feeling that Jasper would have said something about it if it was that serious. I took a couple of much-needed deep breaths and tore open the seal, almost expecting some ribbons or a live bat to fly out.

I shuffled the thick white card out and unfolded it gently. It was obvious that Edward had written this in a hurry. His immaculate writing was there, but it seemed a little rushed, a little messier than he would have ever let it become if he wasn’t wracked with emotional guilt.

And as I read the letter, once twice three times, the words soothed me like warm milk before bedtime before I had the chance to decipher them.

-------------------------------------------
‘My Bella,
I cannot even begin to express my regrets for what happened to you. I did something that I had always feared I would do, and worst than that, I left you. I was selfish, I was cruel, and I was a lot of other things that I shouldn’t write in this letter in case somebody else reads it. I need you to know – now more than ever, my love – that what I have done to you is unforgivable. I will always hate that part of me, the part of me that couldn’t control myself for you. But after all this, I am still so deeply in love with you. Words could not describe how I feel about you. Even though I cannot wipe the image of your face I see every time I close my eyes, at least I know that I will always have you on my mind and in my un-beating heart.

I know that you will not want to be close to me from now on, please be assured that I will always be waiting for you if you change your mind. Your love for me was so selfless of you, and I was most undeserving of it. I am not made to be loved, Bella, as I’m sure you’ve heard many a time before. And I am so sorry that I couldn’t keep my promise to you. I promised to protect you always, Bella – and not only did I fail to follow that through – it was me that hurt you!
I love you so unconditionally it doesn’t make any sense. And it doesn’t need to, Bella. I’m sorry my love.

~ Edward’
--------------------------------------------

I was in shock. He was speaking as if I didn’t love him anymore. Incapable of even speaking, I tucked the letter into my pocket and ran downstairs as Charlie began to yell.

“Hurry up, Bella! Are you even out of bed yet?”

“Yes, yes! I just need breakfast and to pack my bag and I’m ready!” I cried as I descended the stairs rapidly. He grunted in reply. He never liked to be proven wrong.

Ignoring his attitude, I made myself a bowl of Cheerios and a mug of Milo. I wasn’t in much of a coffee mood today for some odd reason.

I tried to eat my cereal as slow as possible, wanting to be busy when Edward came so I could avoid looking him in the eyes for a little while. But the cereal seemed to disappear at an alarming pace, no matter how slow I seemed to eat it.

I made a fuss packing my bag, too. I packed and then unpacked and repeated the process about 3 times before Charlie told me if I took one more book out of my bag he’d throw the whole lot in the fireplace.

It was almost too soon before there was a knock on the door.

“Get that, will you Bella?” Charlie asked as he jogged upstairs.

I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t have to see my doom approaching from a distance as I made my way to the door. I could almost feel Edwards cool through the door, or maybe that was just the weather. Slowly I pulled back the deadbolt and opened the door. Before I could even open my eyes, Edward’s stone hand was clenching mine and he was pulling me towards his Volvo. I was, sadly, a little used to being manhandled my Edward now so I didn’t kick up too much of a fuss as he yanked firmly at my arm. He opened the passenger door and waited for me to climb in before slamming it shut, appearing in the seat next to me in less than a few milliseconds.

That was one silent ride. He didn’t say much, and neither did I. It seemed that we had reached an unspoken agreement between the two of us. Neither of us mentioned it, or tried to anyway. When we pulled into the car park Rosalie was the first person I spotted. It was always easy to find her bright red convertible among the sea of average beat-up old cars, but it was easier today as Rosalie, dressed in tight leather pants and a bright pink hippy-inspired top (although it was freezing out), was leaning on the passenger door, her eyes searching her surroundings for us.

The second she saw us she straightened visibly and started to walk over to us, too fast to be human. I saw Emmett emerging from the car, running over here to keep up with her.

“Bella!” she cried. I was shocked. Rosalie was calling my name? She wanted to talk to me?

“Erm... hi Rosalie,” I said uncertainly.

“Bella I have to tell you something...”

“Leave it, Rose,” Emmett chided gently under his breath, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and squeezing her slightly.

“But Em!” she cried, clearly exasperated.

“You heard him. Leave it,” Edward growled before taking my hand and once again pulling me roughly up to the school gates. My first class was physics, which Edward didn’t have with me, so he dropped me off outside the door to the classroom without a word and disappeared.

The class was only 50 minutes long, but it felt like it was 2 hours. By the time the bell rang for second period, I was hopping around in my seat anxious to see Edward again. He had biology with me, and because he was seated right next to me it was difficult to concentrate as I felt his eyes burning into the back of my head the entire time. He didn’t say anything, though, so I didn’t either. I knew either way that he wouldn’t be answering any of my questions.

When it was finally lunchtime two hours later (although it felt like two days later), Edward pulled me along as usual to the cafeteria where he grabbed their usual table and went off to get my food. Hmm, at least he wasn’t angry at me. Then again, why should he be? He was the one that had hurt me. I should be infuriated with him. I saw Alice skip over with her tray of food and take a seat opposite me. Jasper wasn’t with her. I couldn’t be bothered asking, really. I was too grumpy this morning.

Edward finally decided to grace me with his appearance once more as he slid my tray of food towards me and took a seat next to Alice, his eyes drilling holes into the table. Alice looked a little intimidated by all this negative energy surrounding the table, so she excused herself to find Jasper. Edward still didn’t say anything. He didn’t even attempt to pretend to eat his lunch. I, however, was starving.

As I picked at the salad he had gotten me, I was suddenly sick of his silent treatment. He had no right to treat me this way!

“Aren’t you going to pretend to eat?” I asked, my voice expressionless.

No reply.

“Are you going to talk to me?” I tried again.

Silence.

“Yes,” he said quietly.

This was better. I nodded slowly.

“That’s good, because I like your voice,” I said smiling to myself. I suddenly remembered the piece of paper in my pocket.

“I got your letter, by the way. Thank you.”

He nodded grimly, his fingers pressing gauges into the Formica table top. It was if he was anticipating that I may explode.

I pulled it from my pocket and set it on the table.

“But what I don’t get is why you talk about this as if I don’t love you anymore. What makes you think that?” I was slightly angered now, but not enough to raise my voice.

“You shouldn’t love me, Bella! Not after what I’ve done to you!”

“I’ll always love you, Edward. Don’t ask me why, but no matter what you do to me, I will always love you as unconditionally and irrevocably as I did when I first saw you. No matter what.”

I saw him grit his teeth, but not say anything.

“Edward, I-” I paused for a second, realising that he wasn’t going to talk.

“I can’t trust you if you can’t trust yourself,” I finished. He looked up at me for the first time, and his smouldering golden eyes almost made me melt all over the table top.

“Well I guess you should stay away then,” he replied.

“It’s not that. I want to trust you Edward! I don’t care if you can’t take making love, but I need you to be able to hold me, still.” My voice was lowered so nobody else would cop an earful of what we were saying.

“I’m scared that even touching you will make me crazy again,” he admitted, his gaze falling to some point behind my head. I sighed, and reached out with my hand, letting it brush the back of his. He flinched, and it broke my heart all over again. And then he fell apart.

“I’m sorry, my Bella, I’m so sorry...” he whispered. He tilted my face up gently with his thumb to meet his as he stared at me with those irresistible eyes. I noticed that he was looking me up and down suspiciously as if he expected me to only have three limbs left. I stood up and pirouetted in front of him.

“I’m not too broken, Edward,” I explained softly, taking his hands in mine again.

“But I still hurt you. I’m a mons-” he started.

“If you say that one more time I will buy you plane tickets to Venice myself!” I exclaimed wearily, but wanted to take it back as soon as I saw his hurt expression.

“Let’s go, Edward,” I murmured, letting him wrap his arms around my shoulders and we once again walked out the cafeteria door with the hushed whispers of the students behind us.

We drove back to my house, because Charlie was still at work. I wasn’t sure what we were going to do there, but I had a pretty good idea. And I only hope that after my little spiel with him it’d all work out. Because I needed to be with Edward for every second of every day, and I didn’t care how long it took to work up the self-control to sleep with me again but I’d be there for him every step of the way.

*~*~*~*

A/N HOT HOT SEX COMING UP NEXT CHAPTER!!!!!! YEEEESSSSSSSSS lol :) Have a good un' and review.
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Trust Me